One Week with her (Ex) Stepbrother (Eden Manor #2) (5 page)

“What?”
Her entire body was throbbing.

“Look
at me.”

She
straightened up and turned her upper body enough to look Zach in the face. His
face was flushed too and slightly damp, as if he’d been working hard.

Or
feeling too much. Like her.

“What
do you want, Missy?” Zach murmured hoarsely.

She
wanted him. So badly she could hardly restrain herself.

She
gave a helpless whimper as his knuckles stroked her hot cheek, and then she
couldn’t hold herself back anymore. She leaned toward him, moaning in relief
when he pulled her the rest of the way toward him.

He
kissed her. Hard. Urgent. With more passion than she could have expected. She
opened her mouth and met his tongue with hers, kind of collapsing against his
chest.

The
momentum pushed him backward, onto the arm of the couch, and she lay on top of
him in a shameless sprawl, kissing him for all she was worth.

His
hands were moving over her body eagerly, touching her in places he never had
before. He cupped her bottom over her jeans, adjusting her hips so they were
aligned with his.

She
gasped into his mouth as she felt he was hard against her.

“Oh,
God, Missy,” he muttered against her lips. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Her
heart was roaring as loudly as her body. She tried to straddle his hips,
fisting her fingers in his hair.

“Tell
me you want this too,” he said, one of his hands sneaking up to feel her
breast.

She
felt overwhelmed and off-balanced. She tried to find purchase with her feet,
but she lost traction when she pushed something off the couch.

In
the one part of her mind that was still processing coherent thoughts, she
realized it was a newspaper that had been left on the couch that morning.

Her
father’s newspaper.

Her
father’s house.

And
this was Zach who she was making out with on his couch.

Zach.

A
surge of fear shot through her, so intensely it was like a physical pain. She
gasped and reared up, pulling away from his mouth.

“What’s
the matter?” he asked, looking dazed with desire or something akin to it. He
reached toward her again, but she pulled away.

She
scrambled up, kneeing him in the thigh as she did. “We can’t do this.”

“Missy,
wait.” He couldn’t seem to move, sprawled out on the couch as he was.

“We
can’t do this. It’s wrong.”

“It’s
not—”

“It’s
totally wrong.” She was still achingly aroused, but she ignored it, the fear
consuming her completely. She grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

“Missy—”

She
didn’t wait for him to finish. She was gone before he could get the words out.

She
cried as she drove back home, mortified, ashamed, confused, and terrified.

And
like there was a gaping hole in her heart that would never be filled.

She
didn’t get much sleep, but at least Zach didn’t try to call her.

In
a way, she was a little disappointed, but he must be just as mortified as she
was.

They
were like family. They couldn’t do that—no matter how much they might want to.

She
couldn’t believe Zach even wanted to be with her that way, but evidently he
did.

She
drank several cups of coffee and took a half-hour shower, until she felt human
enough to get dressed and get started with the day.

Since
she’d been away from the shop all day yesterday, she had to go in this morning.
That would mean seeing Zach.

She
had no idea what she would say to him.

Maybe
he would be at Eden Manor most of the day. He was supposed to be getting going
on that job this week, and so far he hadn’t done very much. The guys he’d hired
to help were supposed to start yesterday. She hadn’t been out to see what
they’d accomplished, but there was only so much they could do in one day.

She
decided to put on something pretty today, since she needed the morale boost and
she was just going to be working behind a desk. So she put on her favorite
skirt—a long flowing cotton one in yellow and green—and an eyelet top.

She
still felt sick in her stomach, but she was satisfied it wouldn’t be obvious to
other people as she stepped out of her door.

When
she saw an old truck parked in her driveway, she jerked to an abrupt stop.

It
was Zach’s truck, and he was getting out as she stared. Evidently, he’d been
waiting for her to leave this morning.

All
of her assumed confidence fled in an instant, and she just stood dumbly and
waited until Zach walked toward her.

When
he didn’t say anything, she managed to ask, “What did you want?”

“I
wanted to talk.”

“You
could have called.”

“I
didn’t think you’d answer the phone.”

She
was pretty sure she wouldn’t have. “What is it?”

He
looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep either, and he was slightly bristly, as
if he hadn’t shaved. “I wanted to talk about last night. What did you think I
wanted?”

“There’s
nothing to talk about.”

“I
think there is.”

She
sucked in a sharp breath and told herself to be mature and reasonable about
this whole thing. “Okay. It was a mistake. It can’t happen again.”

“Why
not?”

She
blinked. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Why
is it wrong?”

She
was starting to get flustered again, but she fought against the feeling. “You
were there, weren’t you? We can’t be doing that. And in my dad’s house.” She
shuddered.

“Okay.
The timing and the place weren’t ideal, but that doesn’t mean—”

“None
of it is ideal, Zach. You’re like my brother.”

“Don’t
call me that! I’m not your brother. You can’t tell me you look at me like a
brother.”

She
didn’t. God help her, but she didn’t. “But it’s still wrong, Zach. There’s too
much…too much between us.”

She
tried to imagine what could happen now, what would happen if they continued
what they’d started last night. They might enjoy it for a while, but he’d never
been serious about a woman in all the time she’d known him, except for his
crush on Cassandra. He would probably get bored with her, the way he did with
all the girls he went out with.

And
she would be left with nothing—not even what they had now.

The
thought was so upsetting that she burst out, “What? Are we supposed to have a
little fling and then go back to how we always were? That will never work. It
will never work, Zach.”

“A
fling.”

“Yes.
Maybe there’s some attraction, but we absolutely can’t act on it. I like how
things were between us before—before last night.”

He’d
been tense from the beginning, but now he was looking even more so—as if the
slightest touch might shatter him. It was very upsetting to see him this way,
and just more proof that she’d made one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

“Do
you?” Zach asked, his voice breaking. He cleared his throat. “You don’t want
things to change?”

“God,
no. Do you?” Her mind was still filled with horrible images of them drifting
apart, after a sexual relationship between them had fizzled out. The pictures
ran through in sickening succession, like a video on fast forward.

“I…I
don’t know.”

She
was too upset to process his words—she could only wonder if he loved her as
much as she loved him. It sounded like he didn’t. “You’re really important to
me. You always will be.”

He
took a strange, shaky breath. “Okay.”

“Okay?
That can’t happen again. We have to pretend it never did.”

He
looked away. “I said okay.”

“Okay.”
She swallowed hard, determined not to cry. “Now I need to get to work.”

“Okay.”

He
just stood there, unmoving, so she walked around him. Her eyes were blinded by
unshed tears, so she couldn’t see clearly enough to recognize his expression.

It
didn’t matter. She’d said what needed to be said. Maybe in time what had
happened last night could fade into the background, where it was no longer
acknowledged by either of them.

If
not, she would lose the person in her life she was closest to—except for her
father.

It
was heartbreaking. An idea she’d never be able to accept.

***

Missy
worked in the garden shop all day, relieved that Zach never made an appearance.

He
spent the day at Eden Manor, not even stopping by at lunch or in the afternoon
to check in the way he usually did.

It
was a relief. It was better this way. Maybe after a few weeks, the weirdness
between them would fade enough for them to be friendly again.

She
was feeling so heavy and glum at five o’clock that she called up Vanessa to see
if she was free for dinner. It was unlikely, since Vanessa was still in the
throes of new love with Joe, but Missy needed to talk to someone—and it
obviously couldn’t be Zach.

Vanessa
said she and Joe were planning a late dinner, but she could meet Missy early
for something light. They agreed to meet at Grounded for a salad in a
half-hour.

“What’s
the matter?” Vanessa demanded, as soon as they got their salads and took their
seats.

“Nothing,
really.”

“Don’t
lie to me. You look terrible.”

Missy
frowned. “I don’t look that bad.”

“You
look pretty but upset about something. What happened? Something with Zach?”

“What
makes you say that?”

“I
don’t know.” Vanessa gave her a quick little smile. “Call it intuition.”

Missy
opened her mouth to admit what happened, but the words just didn’t come out. It
was so shocking—kissing her former stepbrother like that. “It shouldn’t be that
big a deal. Just things are getting weird between us.”

“Because
you want more?”

“I
never said that.”

“You
as good as said it. So what’s the trouble? He doesn’t see you that way?”

Last
night, he’d definitely seen her that way. She flushed at the memory of how
aroused he’d been, how his face had looked as she’d been lying on top of him.
“I…I don’t know.”

Vanessa
frowned. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you, since you haven’t really told me
anything.”

“I
know.” Missy took a bite of salad and chewed slowly. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ll
tell me when you’re ready.” Vanessa’s head turned, and her eyes followed
someone on the sidewalk outside. “Speaking of…”

Missy
felt a jolt through her entire body, and she turned to see Zach coming into the
coffee shop. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, and he was smiling at
someone behind him.

Cassandra.

Missy’s
heart dropped as she saw the tall, slender brunette come through the door.
Cassandra had an air of elegance around her, making even casual clothes look
glamorous. Today, she wore a vintage top and a pair of capris.

She
was stunning, as she’d always been—even way back in high school.

“Did
they come together?” Missy whispered, a knot in her stomach aching as she saw
Zach laugh as he walked to the counter with Cassandra.

“I
don’t know. Maybe they just ran into each other.”

Missy
turned away, although Vanessa was still staring shamelessly. She’d known it
would happen—ever since she’d seen Cassandra here on Monday morning.

Zach
had always been in love with Cassandra. Those weren’t the kind of feelings that
went away. Maybe he’d given into temporary lust with Missy last night. That
happened with men. They got turned on, and then they wanted to act on it, no
matter the circumstances.

But
his feelings for Cassandra had always been more than that.

It
was a good thing Missy had put a stop to things when she had last night, or she
would have been even more crushed today than she was.

“Don’t
jump to conclusions,” Vanessa said. “He’s probably just being friendly. They
know each other. Of course, he’s going to say hi. It doesn’t look like they’re
really together.”

Missy
resolutely kept her eyes away. She stared out to the street through the window
instead. “He’s always been crazy about her.”

“Years
ago. Not anymore.”

“You
don’t know that.”

“Yeah,
well, I have my suspicions. And I don’t think Cassandra is who he is crazy
about.”

Missy
gave her friend a little smile. “I appreciate the encouragement, but I’m not
stupid, you know. Guys don’t fall for the pesky girls who used to be their
stepsisters.”

“You
never know.”

“I
know.”

Lust
was different from love. Any fool knew that.

“He
just saw you,” Vanessa murmured.

“Well,
don’t stare!” Missy had to fight an internal battle not to turn in Zach’s
direction. She stared down at her salad instead. “He’ll think we’re talking
about him.”

“We
are. He’s not smiling anymore. I don’t think he’s into Cassandra.”

“It
doesn’t matter, Vanessa. Seriously. I appreciate the effort, but I’m fine. It’s
just been a…a weird week for me. I’m sure things will go back to normal soon.”

Vanessa
gave her a close look, and she didn’t argue or object. She didn’t look
convinced, but that wasn’t surprising.

“How’s
work at Eden Manor going?” Missy asked, resolved to turn the conversation back
to something safe.

Vanessa
perked up. “Good. We’ve got the fireplaces done now. Silas starts work on the
stained glass windows next week. I can’t wait to see them when he’s finished.”

“Yeah.”
Missy sighed, thinking about how much fun she and Kelly had had in the garden
yesterday before Zach found them. “I can’t wait to see the garden and
landscaping too. It’s going to be an amazing place.”

Missy
was facing forward, trying to concentrate on the conversation, but she couldn’t
help but see Zach as he was leaving with coffee in hand. Cassandra was still
behind him. She had a coffee too.

They
must have come in together.

His
eyes rested on her briefly before he opened the door. He didn’t smile, and
neither did she.

They’d
ruined things last night.

They’d
had something good, and now it was hopelessly messed up.

There
might not be any way to put it back together again.

***

Missy
was afraid to go home that evening. She didn’t want to be alone. She was
worried about the direction her mind would go. She might even do something
crazy and call up Zach.

She
went back to work after she and Vanessa parted. She was caught up on
everything, but she could find something useful to do. It was better to focus
on that than to focus on Zach.

She
cleared out the email and finished the filing, and then she wandered around for
a minute, looking for more work to do. When she glanced in her father’s office,
she realized what needed to be done.

His
office was a mess. Who knew what important letters or bills were hidden in the
stacks of papers and piles of junk that filled every surface.

Cleaning
his office was perfect. It would distract her from everything else.

She
worked for a few hours, turning on music after a while, since the silence of
the empty building became nerve-wracking.

She
was on her hands and knees, sorting through papers that had been pushed onto
the floor at some point in the last month by her dad, singing loudly to a
country song in an attempt to not let her mind turn in bad directions. She had
no idea anyone else was in the building until she heard a voice behind her.