One Year of Reality and How It Nearly Killed Me: My Life Behind the Scenes (25 page)

I raised just enough money to pay rent, and my mom flew out to meet me. We drove my car back to Indiana. It was a lot of fun, and it reminded me of the many times our family had driven across country when moving from state to state.

If I were a baseball team, these would be my stats:

Number of marriages: 0

Number of marriage proposals: 2

Number of children: none that I know of (I hate it when a guy says that, so I just thought I’d try it on for size.)

Number of apartments since moving out of home: 10+

Number of cars owned: 7

Number of homes owned: 0

Number of roommates: 20+ (that’s another book)

Number of surgeries: 8 and counting

And if I really wanted to feel bad about myself, all I had to do was think about all of my successful friends who had great homes and were much more
financially stable than I was. You can really get depressed when you compare yourself to others. It’s a bad idea.

But I had made the decision to smile. I don’t know how to explain that, but while I wasn’t feeling great about where I was in my life and had no idea what would happen to me (I truly felt that being homeless was a close option), I also knew in my heart that no matter what happened, it would be OK.

And if I had to do it over again, I totally would. I worked with some wonderful people and some not-so-wonderful people, and I learned from both. I encountered people and cultures I never would have come across if I hadn’t made some daring choices early in my career. And while I did not choose to fall in December of 2001, what I’ve been able to do since then has been very rewarding. I was able to move back in with my mother during a stressful time in her life, after she lost her dog, and help take care of her while she was dealing with physical pain and disease. I was there when she went through a series of strokes and passed away. If it had not been for the fact that I was injured so badly that I needed to come home, I might never have had the chance to help my mom out as much as she had always helped me. So at least there was that silver lining.

Five years after my injury, I finally had to declare bankruptcy. I received a final settlement from workers’ comp. I did get a job that was long term, so I did get “back on the horse,” as they say.

I’m not sure where I will land, but I know that I will win. I may not be the richest or most successful person, but my family and friends are more important to me than any job.
I
am more important than any job. My perspective of work as the center of my life has changed. I now enjoy more than my work. I enjoy living life and being with people and fostering relationships. I even dabbled in improvisational comedy, something I hadn’t done in years. Nothing to lose. Go for it. Just do it. Follow your fear. All these little sayings now go through my head.

I don’t know if this revelation was because of my accident, getting older, or both, but I am grateful for the lesson, and I look forward to…well, everything. I think God gave me all that happened for a reason, and I am a much better person for going through it.

If I Google my great-grandfather, I can see his paintings, where they were auctioned, and how much they’re worth. I can get a good idea of his contribution to his art. If I Google my grandfather, I can see the films his production company made for
other companies; when he retired, he painted. I see the artwork of both my great-grandfather and my grandfather on my walls every day. If I Google my father, I can find kind things people have said about him and about the model airplanes he designed, even twenty years after his death.

I can only hope that when I’m Googled, there is something of value to be seen.

It has been my observation that we all go through at least one catastrophic event in our lives that changes us. I have seen it with many of the people I know, and it’s how we handle those situations that show us who we are or who we can be. If I’ve learned anything, it is to take the time to heal, look around, and see who out there wants to help you and which people need your help. Try to protect yourself financially, if at all possible. The unexpected can happen, and it will.

It still happens to me.

And if you can, get disability insurance. It would’ve made a great difference in my life if I’d had it. I think Aflac would’ve been a good thing to have.

And always, always, always try to laugh about it later. I know I am finally doing that now.