Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life (5 page)

The organized brain says, “Stop now and schedule the meeting!” Yes, it would be easier and more convenient for you to just get it done now. But the organized brain has weighed the options. The organized brain remembers that last year you made a mistake on your tax forms and ended up paying $1,000 (not to mention $500 to your accountant, who had to redo everything). So the organized brain decides to put on the brakes. The function is called “inhibitory control,” and you could also think of it as a compassionate hand on the shoulder, or a sort of impulse control that keeps the efficient organized brain from getting off task and helps put you into a position for the next Rule of Order.

However you look at it—traffic cop holding up a raised hand or guidance counselor gently steering you away from an ill-advised task—you need to heed the message of the organized brain and stop in order to get to the next step.

4. Mold Information:
Your brain has the remarkable ability to hold information it has focused upon, analyze this information, process it and use it to guide future behavior—even after the information is completely out of sight. This form of brain work involves something called
representational thinking.

Efficient and organized people have the ability to retain and manipulate information or ideas. Like a computer-generated image suspended in space or a hologram in a sci-fi movie, information is “held up” to scrutiny, slowly turned around and considered from different perspectives, almost as if it were a three-dimensional object. You can consider representational thinking to be reflective—not gut-reacting, seat-of-the-pants thinking, as valuable as that can be in certain cases. This is the mind that takes information, steps back, considers and reflects—often looking at things in new and different ways.

Some people are more comfortable molding visual, verbal or spatial information. Martha Stewart is probably far better at solving a problem of how to decorate a certain-sized room for a holiday party than, say, Albert Einstein might have been. And vice versa if the information that needed to be molded involved theoretical physics. But both illustrate the same principle. No matter how it's done, or in what context, the ability to “turn over” the information after the stimulus is gone and do something with it—this is a skill to know, embrace, develop.

5. Shift Sets:
People with superior muscle flexibility can touch their toes, demonstrating what exercise physiologists call “range of motion.” In football, quarterbacks come up to the line of scrimmage and observe how the opposing team is arrayed to stop them. In the seconds before the play begins, a quick-thinking quarterback will call what's known as an “audible”—a last-minute change in what he is about to do, based on the quarterback's instant reading of the way in which the defensive team is positioned against him. This athlete's brain flexibility has equal importance to his physical flexibility.

The organized brain is ever ready for the change in the defense; the new game in town; the news flash; the timely opportunity or last-minute change in plans. You need to be focused but also able to process
and weigh the relative importance of competing stimuli and to be flexible, nimble and ready to move from one task to another or from one thought to another.

In other words, you need mental range of motion and the ability to call an “audible” at your own “line of scrimmage.” Because this is the way life presents itself, isn't it? To illustrate this cognitive flexibility and adaptability—the ability to shift sets—again consider the particular deficits of persons with ADHD. While those with ADHD are often considered to have a
deficit
in attention (as if he or she can't pay attention at all), the better description is that they cannot
regulate
attention. The mental switch is set to “on” or “off,” and it's hard for them to change it back; sometimes they can't pay attention, but sometimes they can't
stop
paying attention, even when more important or salient stimuli are at hand.

6. Connect the Dots:
The organized and efficient individual pulls together the things we've already talked about—the ability to quiet the inner frenzy, to develop consistent and sustained focus, to develop cognitive control, to mold mental/virtual information and to flexibly adapt to new stimuli. The organized and efficient individual synthesizes these qualities, much as the various parts of the brain are often brought together to perform tasks or help solve problems, and brings these abilities to bear on the problem or situation at hand.

The disorganized, unfocused individual may do none of this. We all know people whose lives seem to be out of control—and at the moment, you may feel like you're one of them. At times like these, it seems as if nothing ever gets done. You feel as if you're in a losing race with the clock and the calendar. You seem to have no ability to influence or manage events and “things just keep happening” to you. It seems as if there is no time to accomplish the important things.

You see where we're going here, right? Connect the dots: Thinking…feeling…acting…living. Following a logical path, from emotional control through the different cognitive building blocks, you are ready to put it all together. Here, the organized brain orchestrates all the other functions. The end result: a cognitive harmony that allows you to function more effectively, productively and enjoyably in every aspect of life.

One last time, let's go back to our example of Jill and her keys. In suggesting the idea of the launch pad to this patient, I was actually addressing two of the Rules of Order.

First, because she was emotionally distraught over what her episode with the keys had wrought in her workday, I knew that I had to calm Jill down; to help her Tame the Frenzy (Rule #1). You can't get organized and can't make rational decisions about
how
to get organized when you're distraught. In her case, the suggestion of the launch pad began a new process of thinking, not only reacting to the problem at hand.

Next, finding the little box that she eventually used for her launch pad and clearing out the space for it at home and in the office helped her to Sustain Attention (Rule #2) on the tasks at hand:

This small success helped Jill become more confident. You can imagine her now starting her morning on a more positive note, heading out the door on time and ready to face the day, as opposed to already demoralized, frustrated and down on herself because of a moment's inattentiveness.

In the pages ahead we will examine more closely each of the Rules of Order, one at a time, and give you the tools and solutions that can
help you to better sustain attention, stay on task and, above all, create a greater sense of order and efficiency in a world that often seems anything but.

Coach Meg and I will provide you with your own launch pad—and then some.

M
Y COAUTHOR, DR. PAUL HAMMERNESS,
does in this book what doctors do wonderfully well at their best—share their expert knowledge and wisdom in a compelling fashion so that you can make the best possible decisions and choices about your health and life. But of course knowledge and insight are only a start. Knowing what to do is one thing; knowing
how
you're going to do it is quite another. Doing something means that you need to make some changes, develop some new habits and unlearn some old ones. That's where I come in.

As a professional coach, change is my business. My kind of coaching has a few things in common with those who coach football or basketball teams. Like the men and women who exemplify the best of that profession, we know how to help people accomplish their best. But our goals are not to win games and the people we coach are not always young or athletic. Today the most established domains for coaching are in the executive suites of some of America's largest corporations. In the United States, more than five thousand executive coaches help CEOs
and other leaders to improve their performance, impact and capacities and to handle the pressure cooker of the executive suite without sacrificing their families and health.

Of course, executive coaches are not limited to helping executives. Indeed, many of the people I've worked with were individuals trying to either get
to
the top of their field or
on
top of some other aspect of their lives. Coaches help clients navigate life transitions or realize lifelong goals and dreams. Wellness coaches work with people to improve their health and well-being in a way that lasts.

No matter whether we're helping Fortune 500 executives balance their lives or middle-aged sedentary individuals manage their health, the process and the tools we coaches use are often similar. In a nutshell, we help people organize their brains for change. I help you achieve clarity, choose a focus, build a plan, and embark upon and complete the journey of change. Doing this requires an understanding of how the brain works, and because of that, the best coaches have strong foundations in psychology and neuroscience. In particular, we are interested in the psychology of change. Research suggests that this work—the work of change—involves the activation and organization of the prefrontal cortex of the brain or, as Harvard psychiatrist and author John Ratey calls it, the “thinking CEO” region. Coaching also works on the limbic system, the home of our emotions. Coaches help clients increase positive emotions and better manage or decrease negte emotions, which increases the likelihood of success. Positive psychology research has proven that positivity, or increased positive emotions, opens and broadens our thinking and increases our resilience and capacity to change.

As a coach, my specialty is inspiring and facilitating the process of change—and that's what I intend to do with you in the pages of this book.

I am here to help you make the changes that will enable you to get a better handle on your life—to get your life better organized and to help you become more attentive, focused, and less distracted. My job is to prepare and guide you through this journey. I will help you motivate yourself (the only kind of motivation that works). I will help you identify and mobilize the resources you need. I will try to build your confidence so that you can complete this journey. I will keep watch for the obstacles and hazards along your journey—the kinds of things that can derail the change journey—and help you steer clear of them or get back on your feet when you fall back.

Of course, while I can show you the way, I can't take the journey for you. Making change is work; it takes time and commitment. The fact that you are reading this book suggests that you have already taken an important first step on that journey.

In the previous chapter, Dr. Hammerness identified and explained the Rules of Order, the traits demonstrated by individuals who are functioning at a high level of organization and productivity. So there you have the “what to do”—what you need to do in order to become the person who is on top of things in your life. Now comes the “how to do it” part.

As I've said, getting better organized and more focused is a process of change. And like any change in your behavior, whether it's losing weight or quitting smoking, it's going to require a certain mind-set. In order to achieve that mind-set, and to begin to get a better handle on your life and the changes needed to feel less frenzied and more in control, I'd like to share some tips with you, based on my knowledge and experience as a coach.

YOU'RE THE BOSS

Enough for a moment about Dr. Hammerness and Coach Meg and about Rules of Order and action plans. Let's put the spotlight on
you.

As discussed earlier, humans are wired to want to be in control and resist being changed by others. It manifests itself early—witness an infant's need to assert even a modicum of control by refusing to eat his mushy carrots. It reaches another peak when a parent reaches her elder years and heartily resists the advice of her children.

It's up to you to decide that you want to have a better organized life—and that, in doing so, you need to some degree to change the way you use your brain. Maybe your spouse bought you this book in the hopes that you won't lose another pair of expensive sunglasses or forget that you left the pot of water boiling on the stove. That's fine; it is still up to you to decide to change—and on your terms. Forget what others are telling you that you need to work on. You're in charge. You choose.

We have spotlighted some of the key principles of organization and focus (our Rules of Order) to help give you the language, a reference point, a starting point. Ultimately, though, the ability to incorporate, to some degree or another, all six principles will go a long way toward improving the organization of your life, but that doesn't mean you have to master all six. Again, you're the one best suited to know.

GET CLEAR ON YOUR PRIORITIES

You can't change many things at the same time; you're not likely to change any if you're using up all of your bandwidth at this moment. Unlike the cable modem that can seemingly accommodate unlimited data, pictures and text, your personal capacity to handle data and stimuli
has its boundaries. You may know that you need to get better organized at some point, but your first priority may be to help a colleague through a crisis or care for a sick family member. Know that you can put the book down and come back to it later—you may have more important priorities right now.

But let's say that getting better organized feels like the top priority right now. You're sick and tired of feeling distracted and disorganized during the day and worrying that not much got done by the end of the day. You feel it's time to get beyond the struggle that has plagued you for years.

Now you have some choices. Dr. Hammerness has presented his Rules of Order—those six areas where you can work on improving the organization of your brain. Reflect on and assess your mastery or lack of talent or skill for each of the six dimensions of an organized brain. Celebrate and be grateful for the dimensions where you are in good shape, either because you inherited good genes or you had an amazing parent or teacher who patiently and relentlessly helped you build that dimension. Appreciate that you can enlist the dimensions where you are strong to help you improve on the weaker ones.

Choose what, when and how to change carefully and thoughtfully. Success begets success. Failure will damage your confidence and bring negativity.

Although several areas may be calling for attention, it's important to pick the area that will set the dominos in motion, the area where you can make good progress quickly and build confidence in working on other tougher areas.

Which area might set in motion a domino effect (like unblocking a blockage)? Which would make your life better and open up new possibilities? Which one of these principles sounds like something doable to you? (When facing a number of changes, it's often a good idea to
build your confidence by tackling the one that seems the one you can do with the highest probability of success.) Which area are you drawn to? Which feels like a good pain that is beckoning to be eased?

Rate each area's importance to you (out of 10) and your confidence in being successful (out of 10)—start with the area that has the highest score and, even better, a score of at least 6 on both ratings.

Let's say you've had a problem staying with one thing—a project at work or even a book you're trying to read. Then learning how to “sustain focus” might rate a high score. Or perhaps you purchased this book because your spouse has pointed out your inability to stop what you're doing and attend to something else without getting flustered. Maybe you've noticed that you get angry and frustrated and curse or bang on the computer keyboard whenever unwanted e-mails pop up, distracting you from what you're doing, and you're not sure whether to jump off what you're doing and address the e-mails or finish the task at hand. A smashed keyboard would certainly suggest a 10!

IGNITE YOUR MOTIVATION—THE JET FUEL FOR THE CHANGE JOURNEY

Your motivation is the jet fuel for the journey of change—the hotter it burns, the more likely it will get you through unavoidable and unpredictable setbacks, moments of doubt and any other stuff that pops up to throw you off course. So let's find something really flammable! Is there something in your life that's important to you that's being affected by your relative inability to focus the way you want to, your distraction or your sense of being overwhelmed by all the stimuli and messages competing for your attention?

Spend a little time digging down to the biggest benefit of getting more organized. Not one imposed by anyone else (like hanging onto your expensive glasses) but something that you get fired up about. Remember some of the statistics we presented earlier about the problems associated with distraction and disorganization: this could very well be causing sufficient stress that it might be affecting your health. Your job performance could be suffering. Or you could feel that you're spinning your wheels, not getting ahead in school, career or life. It could also be affecting your family life.

The best motivator is to connect the change to a higher purpose (something that hits you in the gut or brings tears to your eyes); how it will help you do the things that make you thrive, realize your life's purpose or legacy, or make a difference in your world.

Expand your motivator into a vision statement, such as:

Your motivation is truly the jet fuel for the change journey, both in the early phase as you build new fledgling connections and paths in your brain and later to keep you on track with new habits. If your motivational tank is low on fuel, you're not likely to be successful.

MAKE SURE THAT THE PROS OUTWEIGH THE CONS

You may have one really compelling reason to change the behaviors that are contributing to your continual sense of disorganization, distraction and loss of course—or you may have several. But the reasons
not
to change, at least right now, may win out. Or while you may decide to push forward, you could quickly find yourself back on the fence with second thoughts, weighing whether “to do or not to do.” Psychologists call this a
decisional balance.
If you find yourself in such a mind-set, list the reasons to change in one column and reasons not to change in another. Even better, find someone to orally do this exercise with you. If the reasons to change clearly win, then you are ready to move forward.

No judgment allowed—if you feel badly about the reasons for not making the change and staying the same, let it go. You can't easily move forward with a rain cloud from the past following you around, even on sunny days. From time to time we all face deeper issues that hold us back, undigested life issues or unhealed pain. You need to heal old wounds or get a new perspective on life issues with a therapist or other program designed for that purpose.

BUILD CONFIDENCE TO MEET CHALLENGES

There will always be reasons to do nothing and to talk yourself out of making changes and meeting challenges. Getting your life better organized sounds like a lot of work. It's not the right time, you're too busy, it's football season, it's your son's graduation or your wedding or whatever. While there are periods in your life that may not be best suited for making major changes, doubting yourself as to the timing, whether justified or just a convenient excuse, will eat away at your
confidence in your ability to change. Ask yourself on a scale of 1–10: “How confident am I that I will be successful in overcoming my challenge and making this change?” If your score is below a 7 then you should first spend a little time thinking through ways to handle your challenges. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.”

Make sure that you think you can.

Sometimes it's as simple as scaling back the goal a little so that it moves from “I'm really anxious about whether I can really do this” to “Absolutely!” Sometimes you need to shorten your horizon: take it one day, even one hour at a time.

Or you may discover that you need to learn a new skill and gain knowledge first because you're about to do something you've never done.

Set small first steps, and don't worry about how long it takes to make them. The race to long-lasting change is usually won by those who take time to build the foundation needed for new habits to last.