Clay dropped his hands into his lap. “You’ve been existing on paste for fourteen years?”
I nodded, picked up another taco. “This is better.”
He closed his eyes, rubbed his forehead. “This is going to make what I’m about to share harder.” He sighed and faced Anders. “Lashin got away.”
The food turned to a lump in my throat and I choked.
“Shit!” Clay came around the booth to sit next to me and thump my back.
I managed to swallow the food but when I grabbed the tube of Anders’s favorite drink and took a big swallow, I choked again. My eyes watered and it was all I could do not to spit out the vile fluid. I forced myself to suck it down but grimaced at the tube.
Frowning, Anders took a sip of his own and made a face. “Sugar must be gone.” He shuddered and set the tube back. “Sorry. It’s supposed to be sweet and sour, not just sour.”
“I don’t think there’s anything that could improve that.” I snapped my mouth shut, heat crawling up my neck.
Clay patted my back again. “I agree. Give me a beer any old day.”
I didn’t know what a beer was, but I knew I’d never be drinking that lemon thing again. “I don’t understand how he got away.”
“I don’t either. The enforcers there were the best in the business. I trusted the man in charge, and because we’re friends, I was able to stay docked on that space station without having to hide.”
“Hide?”
His mouth stretched into that wide, sexy and arrogant grin he’d flashed me the first time I’d seen him. Again, my stomach fluttered and I bit my lower lip, wondering why he didn’t scare me, why I actually liked his body sitting so close up against mine.
“Why would you have to hide?” I asked again after he only stared at my mouth.
He shook his head and Anders’s low laugh made me turn to him. He picked up his last taco, winked at me. “Answer the pretty Gwinarian, Captain.”
“We’ve got a price on our heads and can’t usually dock the
Ultio
anywhere we want. Certainly not out in the open like we did there. We usually have to find the blind spots.”
“Travel a lot farther on land,” Anders muttered.
Clay glared at him.
“The pirate thing is your gig, babe.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Anders set down his food and reached out to hold his palm under the hand sanitizer, which was built into the wall by the booth. “You liked it once.”
“I
thought
I liked it once.”
The tension building at our table hit me two ways. The heat scorched my skin, but it also raised the hair on the back of my neck. I was enjoying this meal with them, didn’t want it to be ruined—though it had been with the knowledge of my owner’s escape. He was still out there, and knowing him, he’d find a way to locate me. He hated to lose any prize.
Clay suddenly scowled and ran his hand through his hair, leaving it to stand out in black spikes. “I didn’t come in here to argue the past, Anders. We have bigger things to worry about. Not only did he get away, but the files we got from Siri had all kinds of encrypted sections even I couldn’t tap.”
“Jacks is good at that.”
Clay nodded. “I sent him everything. He’s supposed to summon us before he sends out the truth of what happened to Kithra. We might not know all the details of who was behind the explosions other than Saturna and Crichton, but we have enough to prove that Saturna gave the orders.” He snagged his plate and brought it to our side, picked up a taco.
I had no idea what they were talking about but I could gather enough to understand that they’d discovered Saturna blew up my home and that my former owner had something to do with it. “What do we do about him?”
“Lashin?” Anders asked.
I nodded.
“We?” Clay asked, nudging me with his shoulder.
This time I didn’t answer. It might have been presumptuous but I felt a part of this somehow. I don’t know if it was because they’d rescued me and made me a short part of their lives or if it had more to do with the good memories I still retained about my home. “Do we need to go after him?”
“I’d like to. It might take some time to figure out where he went.”
“What about continuing on to Burga One like originally planned? By the way, that’s no small mining camp like Jacks thought. The whole place is one big mining operation. Most of the crew has been there. Said it’s rough.” Anders slid out of the booth and walked to the simulator. He programmed two tubes of something and came back to the table. He handed one to me. “It’s fruit juice.”
I nodded my thanks and sipped cautiously. This time, I liked the flavor.
“We should take her home first,” Clay answered, glancing at me.
They were both quiet then and I knew I should say something, I just wasn’t sure what. Did I want to extend my stay with them? The more I considered it, the more I realized I did. I truly liked these men, was curious about their ship and what they did and more than anything, I wanted to see Lashin get what was coming to him.
“I don’t mind staying on the ship longer if it will help. And if Lash…my owner was responsible for what happened to my family, my planet, then I want him to pay.”
Clay nodded. “We’ll change course then. I’ll check in with Jacks to see if they’ve found any more information—” He broke off when Lia came on over the speaker.
“That Vala woman just sent a message saying we needed to turn on the screens.”
Chapter Five
The whole crew gathered on the bridge to watch as the news about those responsible for Kithra’s explosions shot across every media outlet in every galaxy. The whole thing felt surreal to me because I’d been taken from my home years before the explosions. I’d mourned when my owner showed the vids of Kithra’s demise, mourned to the point of breaking because even though I didn’t remember my parents, I remembered their love, remembered feeling safe there. I’d held on to the hope of home. Seeing the explosions took the last of my hope away.
The media went crazy as it tried to take in all the information. News of fleeing Saturna partners rivaled that of the vids of the explosions. Ones I didn’t care to watch again.
Instead, I looked around the bridge.
It was the roomiest section of the ship I’d seen so far. There were two pilot seats in the front and two rows of seats behind them. The front was one huge window and the sides of the room held monitors and gadgets I supposed made everything run. Speero was in the pilot seat and he gave me a friendly smile before turning back to his vid charts.
I met Lia and had to struggle to hide my surprise. She’d sounded bigger, more powerful outside my door, and I’d pictured someone entirely different than the diminutive alien female. She was humanoid, but stood less than five feet tall, had spiky white hair and huge eyes with orange pupils. She moved with an odd, fluid grace—almost like she glided.
“Woohoo, those assholes are finally gonna get what they deserve!”
Her yell made me flinch and want to cover my ears. Such a loud voice to come out of such a tiny body.
A man as massive as Juniper came onto the bridge. My eyes went wide as he had to turn slightly to fit through the wide door. He had nice features—kind of ordinary, really—with light brown hair and dark eyes. But from his neck down, he was thick. Thick muscles, wide shoulders and thighs. He walked to Lia and ran his hand over her spiked hair and his hand covered the entire back of her head. This was Bucho? The one she said could do things with his mouth?
I stared at his ordinary-looking mouth then quickly looked away, my gaze snagging on Anders, who stared at me with a crooked smile on his face. He must have known I had heard his conversation with Lia outside my bunkroom. He winked just like the captain usually did. I quickly looked at the screen, ignoring his low laugh.
Clay touched several screens until the room was filled with the noise of excited newscasters sharing breaking news as they got it. He walked behind Anders.
“He did it. My brother did it.” Clay words barely broke a whisper but I heard them, watched as his shoulders sagged as he leaned on the back of the chair Anders had sprawled in. I don’t think he even realized that he seemed to be seeking comfort by being closer to the bigger man. His breath must have brushed against Anders’s neck because Anders briefly closed his eyes, and when he opened them and returned them to the screen, I caught a fleeting glimpse of real devastation.
He loved the captain.
Not in the way most of this crew seemed to carry affection for the man—he flat out loved him. I tried not to be obvious as I watched them, tried to keep it to short glances out of the corner of my eye. Anders held perfectly still as if he was afraid moving would cause Clay to walk away. Clay, gaze glued to the vidscreens, didn’t seem to realize he’d put his hand on one of Anders’s shoulders and that every so often he squeezed.
Anders stared straight ahead, so motionless it seemed he didn’t breathe. There was an inner battle going on there—a fierce one. The hand he had resting on his thigh tightened and I knew he wanted to touch the one Clay had on his shoulder. Their relationship spoke of years of friendship and closeness, and I couldn’t help but wonder what had ruined it. What had instilled this tension between them that kept them from acting on their obvious attraction and affection for each other? Lia had asked if he was still celibate.
He didn’t strike me as a man who’d tolerate that well. In fact, they both seemed like the types to wallow in pleasure.
I was suddenly taken back to a strong memory of one of the kinder men who’d kept me for a night on that ship. He’d been one of the government officials who’d come to see my owner only once. I’d noticed him right away because he’d smiled at me and he had a crooked mouth that gave him an interesting lopsided grin. He’d also had pretty amber eyes that looked Gwinarian while nothing else about him did. Brown hair, light brown skin. He’d sat at the table, eating with the others, and every now and then, he’d frown and glance at me as I knelt on the floor. That particular night had been excruciating because I’d been punished for crying over Bastian and my owner had made me kneel in a squat he knew sent licks of pain up and down the backs of my tortured thighs.
Lashin had seen him watching me and asked if he wanted me for the night. One of the others had spoken up to ask for me first and I must have given something away in my face because the first man quickly accepted the offer. I hadn’t known what to expect with him, but I’d been with the other one many times and hated him. Just that afternoon, he’d watched Lashin take Bastian harshly after whipping his back into raw meat. The entire time, he’d stroked my body and rudely stuck his fingers in my backside without any sort of lubrication, then slapped me when I’d flinch. A lot of my flinching had been for Bastian.
When I’d cried, Lashin had given the man holding me a knife and he’d cut “pretty stripes” into the backs of my thighs.
So all I could do was hope this one would be as gentle as his smile suggested. He had been. He’d stretched me out, treated the back of my legs and tried to find out anything he could about my parents, but I was long past remembering any information that could help him. He hadn’t had sex with me. Just kept me company the whole night.
Two days later my owner had laughed in my face after telling me the man had offered him a small fortune to keep me.
Someone touched my arm and I flinched, then blinked at Clay, who stood looking at me with concern. “Is it too much?”
“Is what too much?” I whispered, still trapped in memories.
He nodded toward the vidscreens where images of Kithra’s explosions were now being played—vids that had come in before all communication had been cut off.
Some of the same vids Lashin had used to break me.
I met that light blue gaze and nodded. “Is it okay if I go back to my room?”
“Of course. You are free to do anything you want.”
I had to walk past Anders to leave and he too watched me closely. I didn’t know what made me do it, but I stopped just behind him and put my hand on the same shoulder Clay had touched. I squeezed. His hand came up and covered mine as he continued to try and read my emotions. I poked and prodded past my own inner torment brought on by memories and found a smile for him. A real one.
He sucked in a breath, stared hard at my mouth, then shook his head ruefully. “You are going to make my heart break again, aren’t you?”
I lifted an eyebrow over the again part, then realized Clay had heard Anders and gone still. The two men stared at each other. Nobody else was paying attention—all eyes on the replay of the same horrific vids.
Clay walked right up to Anders and leaned down until their faces were only inches apart. He whispered, “Who broke whose heart?”
The emotion that stretched between Anders and the captain touched me—really touched me. I could feel it in the warmth that cropped up again—the one I never could drum up, even with the nicer men and women who had taken me in for the night. Not that there’d been that many nice ones. Good people didn’t frequent ships like the one I had been on.
These were good men, pirates or not, and whatever kept them from being together seemed pretty damned ridiculous to me right then.
I glanced back at the screens, took in the visuals of pods exploding, knowing that people,
my people,
had been inside them.