Origin (10 page)

Clay seemed strangely subdued when we finally left the observation deck. But then I felt the awkwardness and thought I understood. We’d shared a connection in there that had me all turned around. I was coming to the slow realization that I wanted to experience a little more on this ship than exciting books and food. Well, the food had started exciting. Anders had explained it usually got boring on the longer trips because they needed better storage options. I shuddered, remembering the weird soup I’d ended up with the night before.

The captain walked beside me and I stole a few peeks. He had this way of moving, this sort of intense, fluid walk that screamed “I know where I’m going, what I’m doing, and I’m always in charge”.

I bit back a smile, sure he wouldn’t appreciate the observation. But both Anders and Clay touched me in ways I never knew existed. Maybe…maybe I should do something to learn more about it. And in the meantime, I could watch them get past whatever it was that kept them from sharing a room.

We ran into Anders in the passageway that held all the closed doors. He frowned, his green eyes flickering down, and I realized Clay was still holding on to me, his fingers wrapped around my wrist. I was so used to being led down passageways from handlers, I hadn’t even blinked over this touch. I stopped walking, which made Clay stop and look at me.

“You okay?” he asked.

I could only stare at where he held me. He let go, stepped away completely. “Sorry.”

“No.” I shook my head. “Don’t be. It was actually okay. Just like earlier was okay too. I’m just surprised.”

“What happened earlier?” Anders asked.

My gaze flew up to him when I noted the thread of anger lacing his question. “Nothing happened.” I almost choked on the words. “Nothing bad. The captain just…well, he just—” I stopped, cleared my throat. “He just comforted me when I talked about my friend.”

“A friend Para Lashin told her he killed.” Clay scowled at Anders and waved his hand up and down. “What’s with the getup?”

That’s when I noticed Anders wore nothing but shorts. My eyes went wide as shock hit me. How had I missed this? The man was built huge and tough, with broad shoulders and muscles everywhere.
Everywhere
. I suddenly wondered why I’d felt so safe around someone who could obviously squish my head in his hands. Then I looked back up into green eyes that held such compassion and remembered. The man’s heart was as big as his body. And I couldn’t help but look down at it again. None of the men I’d been forced to be with in the past had rippled, hard stomachs like his. I should have opened his shirt more the other day.

He was holding a towel in front of waist. The cloth covered him to mid-thigh. He had nice, muscled calves covered in blond hair. The light scruff on his chin was a little darker than the hair on his head and legs, and I instantly wondered which color would be around his—

I lifted a hand and covered my eyes, sure the heat scalding my neck and cheeks was glowing a nice, ripe red.

“Oh, sweetheart, what I wouldn’t give to know what just went through that mind of yours.”

“Yeah,” Clay agreed, but his voice sounded strangled.

I peeked at him and found he’d turned as red as I felt. And then, there was the movement that drew my gaze down, before I snapped it back up to see he’d caught me.

When our eyes locked, I knew he was remembering my comment about the eye being drawn to movement. He choked, snorted, then we both started laughing. Hard.

“You two are weird,” Anders muttered as he brushed past us.

“Wait,” Clay managed to call out between gasps. “We’re not laughing at you. Promise. Where are you going?”

“Juniper thinks he fixed the saunobath.”

This made Clay laugh harder. He wiped tears from under his eyes, cleared his throat. “Juniper can’t fix shit.”

The captain had used the word the first day he saw me but it was still a new one for me. “What is shit in a saunobath?”

Clay blinked watery eyes at me, then gave up. He leaned against the wall, roaring.

Anders’s laughter joined the noise and I couldn’t stop the huge grin that stretched my mouth. They were fun.

“Anders. Come with us. There’s something you need to see.” Clay straightened up, adjusted his clothing over his obviously hard cock and started walking down the passageway again. “Explain shit to her on the way.”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Anders murmured. He drew even with me and we both watched Clay move ahead of us with that fascinating walk. I glanced up at Anders and saw his gaze locked on the captain’s backside. I smirked and he shot me a wink. “I’d thought his was the best ass I’d ever laid eyes on,” he drawled in a low voice only I could hear. “Until I saw yours. Maybe I should slip back so the two best asses in the galaxies are in view together.”

I just shook my head at him. “I notice you aren’t moving that towel away. Maybe it’s time you stepped up your game with him.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s a phrase I heard you use. I looked it up on the vidscreen. It means you need to try harder.”

“Sweetheart, I’ve done nothing but try to make up for what I did.” He stared at the captain’s back.

“You are both just silly. So, explain this shit to me.”

Chapter Seven

Clay led us onto the bridge.

Lia waved at me before smirking at Clay. “That tattooed Gwinarian you kidnapped has been hailing you. The last time was only minute ago, so she’s probably still there. Tell her to put that other gorgeous Gwinarian kid onto the screen.”

“What, Bucho not enough for you?”

“Oh he’s enough, but I love looking at that kid.” She shivered and went back to her screens.

Clay led Siri toward the seat in front of a larger vidscreen, then leaned around her to tap on it.

“Captain Asshole. Finally. I found some information I think you want.” The Gwinarian woman who popped up on the vidscreen to my left startled me. I started to move away from the screen, then stopped, drawn by the way she frowned at me. “Do I know you?” she asked.

“No.”

She touched the screen. Colorful tattoos covered both arms. “I do. I do know you, but I can’t remember where. I’m Vala. Is my name familiar?” She didn’t wait for me to answer, turning to gesture at someone behind her. “Bastian, come here. Does she look familiar?”
 

Long, auburn hair filled the screen before the young man swung it back off his face. He immediately smiled when he saw me.

I sucked in a deep breath, stared, unable to believe what I was seeing. There he was, beautiful and breathing—very, very much not dead. My heart began to race and I’m sure I looked at him like he was the most wonderful thing I’d ever seen. Because he was. “You’re alive!” I laughed, the bubble of instant joy spilling up out of my throat and making Anders step up next to me. “You’re really alive. I was told you’d been killed.”

“Siri.” He leaned forward. “You got away from him.”

I nodded, hot tears pricking the backs of my eyes hard enough to make me close them briefly. “I was rescued by the two humans that fly this ship.”

The Gwinarian woman grinned. “Rescued by space pirates. That’s a new one. Did they tell you how they kidnapped me and this gorgeous young one?”

“I don’t think they’re really pirates. We haven’t stopped to rob anyone.” I frowned, thinking about the pirates I’d read about in Clay’s adventure books. I turned to Clay. “You kidnapped Bastian?”

“Long story, sweetheart.” Clay stroked his hand over my hair, surprising him, and by the silence, everyone else in the room and on the screen. I glanced to find Lia’s mouth open.

Bastian moved on the screen, pulling me back to him. He had that smile on his face I knew well, the one he’d used when he was trying to reassure me that he would be okay. One he’d pulled out when my tears grew too much for him. I had stopped crying for me years before, but the tears had returned for him. Without warning, images of his torture came back. I blinked hard to try and hold back the tears and reached out to place my palm on the screen.

He did the same, staring hard at me as if he was trying to assess how I really was and some of what I was remembering must have shown on my face because he slowly shook his head. “Can you let it go?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered, my chest so tight I was sure I would keel over any second. I closed my eyes, desperate for the horrible memories to stop. I’d been forced to watch his torture every day and only when I was really, really good was I allowed to visit Bastian afterward, to tend his wounds and sneak him extra food paste from my portions. My hand started to shake.

Clay made a strangled noise, swept me out of the chair, sat and plopped me back into his lap. Startled, I held on before I fell and met concerned blue eyes that told me in no uncertain terms that he planned to replace my memories with new ones.

“Well, I can see things have grown interesting on the ship. Guess Jacks wasn’t the only one who needed sexing up.” Vala’s tone was full of humor, but her arm had gone around Bastian.

Bastian still had his hand pressed to the screen and I turned, offered him a tremulous smile. “Are you on Kithra, Bastian?”

He tucked long strands of hair behind his ear, then shook his head. “No, but I’m working on getting there. Are they taking you home?”

I nodded, then caught both Lia and Speero staring at Clay and me in shock. I tried wiggling so Clay would let me go, but he only frowned and held me closer. I chuckled. Couldn’t help it. “Some scary pirate you are.”

“They’re more like wannabees,” Vala supplied. She let go of Bastian, crossed her arms, and my gaze was drawn to the colorful tattoos covering them, recognizing images from a homeworld I hadn’t seen since I was a child. She glanced down, the corner of her mouth tilting up. “Like them?”

“They’re so familiar.” I followed the swirled black lines that tied the designs together. A fuzzy memory took shape in my mind. A sign with swirling black lines, a word taking shape. “Leviathan.”

Her arms uncrossed as she stepped close to the screen. “What did you say?”

Confusion clouded my mind and I shook my head. “I don’t know. The designs on your arms made me think of something, but I can’t remember it right. Your tattoos are beautiful, so thinking of a monster makes little sense.”

“Oh fucking suns,” she breathed, face going pale.

Bastian cupped her cheek, turning her face to his. He murmured softly, and the way they looked at each other chased away the faint alarm I’d felt when I’d looked at those black designs. The young man Para Lashin had tortured was not only alive, but he’d found love. Hope uncurled and filled my chest. He’d spent years in captivity and I’d seen some of the horrific things done to him—things that still filled my nightmares. If he could get past it, could love, then so could I. I turned to find Anders studying the way the captain held me.

He must have seen something in my face because he slowly narrowed his eyes before coming to squat next to our chair. He reached up to capture my chin, kept my gaze locked with his. “The way you’re looking at me—gods, it’s tearing up my gut. What is it?”

I ran my thumb over his lower lip, smiled when he lightly nipped the end.

“Hey! Clay. Anders.”

It took effort for him to pull his gaze from me to look at the screen where the pretty Gwinarian sat shaking. “What?”

“I have to do something. It’s important. Where are you two headed now? That line on Crichton showed up again along with a few more instances of explosions.” She hugged herself, face still alarmingly pale. Another man came onscreen and my mouth fell open. He looked so much like Clay. He wrapped arms around Bastian, nuzzling into his neck as he smiled at the Gwinarian woman. His smile faltered when he took in her expression and he let go of Bastian to touch her shoulder, talking softly so we couldn’t hear. She shook her head, hugged herself harder, then looked back at us.

Anders was now frowning at the screen.

“There’s something important. Very important—” She broke off. “Where are you taking her?”

“Siri?” Anders asked.

“Is that your name?” She looked at me. “Siri? Siri what?”

I shook my head. “It’s just Siri. I no longer remember my name, nor my family.”

Anders and I sat across from each other in the empty galley. I’d picked a plate of cheeses again after making sure there was plenty left for the captain. Anders chose some sort of stew. He mostly stirred it, taking bites every few seconds. I watched him, my heart aching. He’d been more somber the last couple of days. Quiet, with a look in his eyes that made my stomach hurt. Whatever I’d seen pass over his face when the captain had touched his shoulder the day Kithra news had taken over all media seemed to have stayed. I’d searched him out this morning, talked him into eating with me. He was still in his sleep pants—this pair black. He’d paired it with a gray T-shirt.

The day before, I’d walked to the observation deck only to stop in the passageway. The door had been open only a foot, and inside, Anders had sat against the window, arms folded across his chest. He’d stared out at the stars and his expression had broken my heart. Drawn, with this bleakness to his eyes that made me want to set things right somehow.