Our Totally, Ridiculous, Made-Up Christmas Relationship (15 page)

“Sunshine, wake up.” Kayden’s lying next to me, and I can feel his body heat radiating against mine. When my eyes open, his greens smile and I can’t help but want to kiss him. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, indeed.” I wiggle out of the comforter and sit up on the mattress.

“Ah, you’re a much happier morning person now.” His hair is dripping wet and he smells like coconut shampoo. Dang, if I would have woken up a few minutes earlier, I could have ‘accidently’ walked in on him in the shower.

Well, there’s always tomorrow for the accidental walk-in.

“You see that window? And the sunlight shining on the snow? That’s why I’m happier. Because it’s actually morning, loser.”

“Oh…” He edges me closer to him and wraps me up in his arms like I’m his to protect. “You’re much more of a loser than I am.”

“Kiss my ass, jerkface.”

“Fuck off, freaky-ass freak.” He hisses as I lean against his chest. I love the way he smells...I love the way he feels. Mostly though, I love how he tells me to fuck off and calls me a freaky-ass freak.

“Bite me, asshole,” I bellow, playfully slapping his cheek with the palm of my hand.

He lays me down on the bed, and his body hovers over mine. His hands are pinning me down, and I never want to get up. “I would, but you would like it too much.”

I would.
“I wouldn’t!”

“Is that a challenge?”

I nod once and stretch my neck out. His fingers run up and down my neckline before his teeth lightly begin to nibble on my neck.
Oh, fuck my life…That feels good.
I feel new levels of excitement, his gentle caressing fingertips give me goose bumps; and Kayden knows he was right that I would like it. He’s slow at first, sucking gently in one spot before his teeth run across my skin. A moan escapes my parted lips the moment his tongue leaves his mouth and explores my collarbone. His kisses get deeper, and a growl emanates from his throat letting me know that he loves biting me as much as I love being bitten. His hands fall to the hem of my t-shirt, and when his fingers make contact with my stomach, my back arches toward him, silently begging for more of his soft caresses, more of his bites.

OhMyGod. I’m lusting so hard right now.

I get it now… It all makes sense to me, why Bella was all gaga for Edward and shit in
Twilight
, because he made her
feel
—the same way Kayden is making me
feel
. If he looked at her the way Kayden looks at me; if he touched her the way Kayden touches me; if he nibbled into her soul the way Kayden did mine, then I would expect nothing less than to be transformed into something that would be his forever.

Kayden’s eyes find mine, asking permission to remove the shirt, and I have it off and tossed to the side before he can even blink once. Next, I reach for the sides of his shirt and remove it before he can blink twice. The penny on his chest stares right at me, and my finger circles it, slowing down time. I feel his heart pounding, and my hand lies over it. Breathing deeply and slowly, he closes his eyes and gently places his hand over my heart. Matching breath for breath, my hand rises and falls against him as our hearts beat as one.

He sits up and moves to the other side of the bed, away from me. When I push myself up on my elbows, I turn to him to find such sadness, such regret, lying inside his eyes.

“I can’t sleep with you, Jules.” He bends his knees, resting his elbows against them, his eyes staring at the comforter wrinkled underneath him. His breathing is heavy, and I only wish I could read the thoughts flying through his mind. He rubs the bridge of his nose before he looks at me, and my heart shatters. He looks so hurt, and I worry I’m the one who’s hurting him.

“Did I do something wrong?” I push myself up and sit cross-legged, positioning myself directly in front of him. He brushes a piece of fallen hair from my face and through tight lips, he slowly releases the breath he’s been holding.

“No. That’s the thing. You’ve done everything right. All of these former assholes you dated used you, treated you like shit, and put their hands on you for their own greedy needs. And I hate them for that. For making you doubt yourself. I hate that they touched you like they meant it. I hate how they looked at you as if you were the only thing they saw. And I hate how much you gave of yourself to people so unworthy.”

I don’t know what to say to him, but I’ve never felt so exposed in my life. My arms wrap around my body, and Kayden lifts the comforter, quick to cover me up.

“You deserve more, and I don’t deserve to touch you. At least not the way I
want
to touch you—not yet, anyway.” He holds his hands toward me, palms up, and stares into my eyes. I place my hands against his, and unknowingly he changes my life in an instant while he keeps talking.

“You deserve to have your hands held. You deserve to be taken out to a nice restaurant. You deserve to go dancing because you fucking love dancing. Then the lucky bastard who gets to do all of these things with you should walk you home and stop at the front steps. He should want to make love to you, but he doesn’t even really let the thought cross his mind. He kisses you gently, with no tongue, and no longer than a five-second peck. He pulls away from you, smiling because he knows the simplistic kiss was the best thing that has ever happened to him. Finally, he walks back to his car, telling you he’ll call you, which he does. He calls you the moment he hits his car, just to thank you for allowing him to know you.”

“Why do you always say the right thing?”

“I don’t. But after meeting you, I realized how much meaningless sex I’ve had with girls who were probably as hopeful as you are. So from the head master of the Meaningless Club to the head mistress of the Hopeful Club, I apologize on behalf of all the losers, users, dumbasses, dicks, fuckers, meatheads, nerds, liars, cheaters, and just plain idiots.”

Best apology ever. “Well, we Hopefuls fully accept your apology.”

“Good,” he sighs, and I see him really taking in my acceptance. His body relaxes, and he edges closer to me, “Now get dressed. It’s already two in the afternoon. I gotta go pick out some Christmas trees with your ex-asshole, Tim Faulter, and your dad, and
you
have to go bake cookies. Then later on, I’m going to be the best boyfriend ever and make everyone in your family super jealous of our fake relationship. You have no idea the kind of things I have planned for these next few days.”

He hops off of the bed and rubs his hands together, emitting some Dr. Evil laugh as he heads out of the room. When he suddenly comes back, he pauses and reaches into his back pocket, pulling out two folded pieces of paper.

“Oh, also, I ran into your cute little niece—who by the way was fully clothed today—and we had a nice talk about how she thinks you’re her favorite aunt.”

“I’m her only aunt.”

“Geez, do you always pay that much attention to
all
the details? Anyway, we each drew a picture of you.” In his left hand, he holds up the first piece of paper, which is a very colorful drawing of swirlies and weird marks that make no sense whatsoever. In his right hand, I see a drawing of pink stick figures.

“Let me guess. You made the swirls?”

His mouth hangs open and he gasps. “How the hell did you know?! Anyway, back to planning the best relationship day ever. Mwhahaha!” He marches off again with his evil laughter.

He’s so odd.

I hope he never changes.

“You’re just in time. Grandma and Mom are in a heated fight over the fact that she brought Tim Faulter to the cabin.” Lisa smiles my way, and I honestly can’t think of the last time we actually spoke without some snarky remarks, but I’m still on my high from Mr. Kayden, so I’ll be civil.

“Mom’s overreacting.”

“Mom always overreacts. She wouldn’t be our mother if she didn’t.” Lisa sits on the stool at the island and I have a flashback of Kayden pushing me up against it. My cheeks heat up, yet Lisa doesn’t notice as she starts flipping through the recipe book. “Remember when we took her car out for a drive and crashed into the neighbor’s mailbox when she was filming in Florida?”

I chuckle. Of course I remember it. Mom still brings it up, about how embarrassed she was that we didn’t tell her, and that she had to find out by seeing it on gossip magazine covers. It turns out that the paparazzi weren’t too far away and caught our drive on camera, tagging Lisa and me as the troubled sisters. “I think we’re still grounded from that.”

“Yeah, but luckily we only have ten more years left with her disappointed eyes.”

“Until we crash her next car.”

Lisa laughs and I can’t help but giggle with her as we relish the memory. I haven’t laughed with my sister in such a long time…

Moving to the fridge, I open the door and pull out eggs and butter to get started with the baking.

“How have you been, Jules? You and Richard seem really happy.” Lisa stands on her tiptoes to reach the mixing bowls in the cabinet and my gut whines at her comments.

The refrigerator hangs open and I rest my hand on the top of the door. “Lisa, I don’t think I’m really at the point where I can do small talk with you.”

“Right.” She shifts her body around and smiles a sad grin my way. “I’m sorry. I just…Do you think we’ll ever get to that point?”

`”I don’t know. But…” I bend down, look into the fridge, and pull out a big jug, placing it on the counter. Grabbing two glasses, I turn to Lisa and give her a halfway grin. “Dad made his spiked apple cider. And I am at the point where I can get drunk with you if you want while we bake an absurd amount of cookies that no one ever really eats.”

I pour two large glasses of Dad’s Christmas ‘punch,’ which has been known to make you forget the rest of the day, and slide one over to Lisa. In the past, I would have said something snotty to her when she approached me asking how I was. Probably something like, ‘I was fine until you stole my boyfriend’ or ‘Doing great. How’s sex with my ex?’ But this time, I wanted to do something different. I remember that Kayden told me to do the opposite of what I used to do in order to be able to move on.

I want to move on from this, and if that starts with getting drunk with Lisa, then it starts with getting drunk with Lisa.

Holding my glass up, I tap it against Lisa’s. “To drunk dysfunctional families.”

“Hear, hear.”

Mom comes hurrying into the kitchen in a frenzy, her hair all messy. “
Mom, drop it
! I’m not going to keep talking about this!” She sighs, and Grandma enters right behind her.

“Tina, you answer me when I’m talking to you! Why on earth is it such an issue to have Tim here?!”

“He’s not a good person. That’s all I’m saying. Look, Mom, I get it. You’re lonely ever since Dad passed away. But you can’t keep going around hooking up with these creeps just because you miss Daddy.”

Grandma laughs a deep-throated chuckle, grabs the glass out of my hand and downs it, slamming it back against the island. “Your father, rest his soul, and I hadn’t had sex since you were four years old. I haven’t been touched in almost fifty-five years! So if I want to run around like a whore, I will run around like a whore and not be judged by my snob of a daughter who clearly hasn’t gotten any in a very long time. I feel bad for Matt. His poor hand has to be tired by now!”

“Whatever, Mother. As if you have gotten any. Kissing on a man half your age doesn’t count.”

“For your information, I got some in the bedroom last night, in front of the fireplace, in the dining room, and right here on top of this island.
Twice
.”

My elbows, which are resting on top of said island, slowly retreat as my early morning gag fest begins to return. By this point, I’m pretty sure Mom is about to flip the hell out.

“You’re disgusting. I can’t even talk to you when you’re like this. Do you always have to be so…” Mom huffs and puffs and tosses her arms around, kicking invisible stones, looking like a crazed woman. “Ugh!” Wow, Grandma makes her feel exactly how Mom makes
me
feel. It must be genetic.

“Tim told me about how you hit on him way back when you and Matt were on a break. How he wasn’t interested. Does it hurt your feelings that he chose me? Honey, you two never even knew each other.”

Mom hit on Tim, who’s now dating Grandma? Mom and Dad were on a break?!

“I hit on him? Is that what he told you? Why Tim Faulter, anyway? Did you ever stop to think why a Hollywood sex god would be interested in an old fart like
you
?” Wow, I wonder if Mom knows how bitchy she sounded in that moment. Grandma’s face drops into a hurt expression for a moment. When the look dissipates, so does Grandma, leaving the room.

Mom rakes her fingers through her hair, doesn’t even look toward Lisa and me, as if she hadn’t even noticed we were there in the first place, and she storms off toward Grandma. “Mom! I didn’t mean it like that!”

Lisa and my eyes meet, and the blank expressions on our faces explain exactly how we feel about this awkward situation. “More apple cider?” I offer, and she holds up her glass as I pour us both a refill, this time to the rim.