Ouroboros 4: End (14 page)

‘Cadet,’ the Admiral snapped.

Nida had to get away.

But she didn't. Though she wanted to run, hide in her room, and actually throw her blankets over her head in the hope they’d close out this terrible world, she didn't.

Something anchored her to the spot.

It wasn't the entity, nor was it the look in the Admiral's gaze.

It was Nida herself.

It was that slim, flicker of hope that if she kept pushing, she could find a solution to this.

‘Cadet,’ the Admiral boomed once more, ‘we can’t afford weakness nor indecision. For both will get us killed. All I'm asking is that when the time comes, if the time comes,’ the Admiral spoke through clenched teeth, ‘you rise to our defense. We will do whatever we can to protect you, and we ask of you the same sacrifice.’

Again Nida shuddered back. Again she stood her ground. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she wanted nothing more than to hide her face in her hands, yet she kept her palms locked against her legs instead.

And she faced the Admiral.

The woman's gaze was unwavering and as powerful as 10,000 suns.

‘If we had time, we'd find another way. If we had time, we wouldn't have to rely on you. We would have pulled the entity from you, we’d have left you back at the Academy. You're just a cadet, you shouldn't be on a mission like this. But you are. You either push that fact away or embrace the responsibility it entails. I must go to a meeting with the Captain, I’ll be unavailable for the next hour and a half. I will meet with you afterwards,’ the Admiral said plainly as she took a step back from Nida, straightened her collar, and nodded towards the door. ‘You are dismissed, Cadet. But before you go, I want you to understand one thing: nothing about this is fair. You'll find the galaxy never is. But you can make it right, if you try. For now, I’ll trust that should we need you, you will help. Yet, if you decide you are unable, you will come to me and tell me. Do you understand?’ The Admiral suddenly fixed her with such a piercing gaze, it was a surprise Forest’s eyes didn't jump right out of her skull and bore through Nida. ‘I am directly responsible for the crew of this ship. If you believe you are unable to help them should the Vex attack, I need to know now. Don't let me put you in a position of responsibility if you will fail. People will die.’

Nida was speechless.

The Admiral made a cutting motion towards the door with her palm. ‘Leave. I must attend my next meeting.’

Nida turned, no, she stumbled, and she headed towards the door.

‘One last thing, Cadet. Carson Blake believes in you. Don't let him be wrong.’

With that, Nida walked through the door. As it closed behind her with a near-silent hiss, she blinked her eyes closed and she locked them tight.

She was . . . beyond confused.

She had nothing to hold onto anymore.

Just a mess of thoughts and emotion and responsibility and guilt.

It felt like it was drowning her.

As several crewmembers walked past, talking hurriedly amongst themselves, she blinked her eyes open, turned, and walked away.

The entity was with her. It was always with her.

Telling her the Coalition were monsters for destroying the Vex. Telling her it was up to her to find a way. Find a way to save them.

And yet, the entity's voice was no longer as strong. It had been drowned out by the Admiral's ferocity.

Ferocity, but justified passion.

The Admiral was right. The entity was right. Everybody was right.

And it was all wrong.

Stuck in the middle of this, being crushed from all sides.

In a daze, she walked back to the quarters she'd been assigned.

She wanted to close her eyes, rest her head on the pillow, and wait for it all to be over.

Maybe the Coalition would destroy Remus 12, maybe they'd try but fail, only to have the Vex surge forward to obliterate them. Maybe Nida would be called upon to save her fellow shipmates.

Maybe she wouldn't be.

Everything loomed before her in a terrible question mark.

Nothing was certain.

No, that was a lie.

Something was certain.

Soon, she’d be reminded of that.

Carson Blake

Everything was happening all at once. The Chronos was abuzz. Nobody on board had ever been on such an important mission.

It wasn't every day you destroyed a planet. It certainly wasn't every day you destroyed a planet that was stuck in its own timeline, one that would soon realign with this galaxy and usher in a day of destruction.

If he weren’t living it, he wouldn't believe it.

And yet, despite how frantic and incredible it was, he couldn't forget her.

He desperately wanted a chance to go see her. To check on her.

Yet he’d been rushed off his feet ever since he’d boarded the ship.

Right now, he was hunkered down in one of the discussion rooms, going over everything he knew about the Vex for about the millionth time.

Everybody was preparing for the prospect this wouldn’t work.

Maybe they wouldn’t be able to destroy the Vex in time, or maybe, horrifyingly, it would have no effect. They could destroy Remus 12, but that may not prevent the Vex from realigning. After all, Remus 12 of the present was not the same planet as the past. They were only assuming that if they destroyed the planet, it would ripple through time and destroy the Vex of the past, obliterating their timeline completely.

From the limited data he’d been able to share with scientists, everybody hoped the destruction of Remus 12 would solve this problem.

They had to prepare for the fact it wouldn’t.

For now, however, they pinned their hopes on the easy way out.

Easy, but brutal.

He kept thinking back to Nida, of course he did. He wanted to pretend her reluctance to destroy the Vex was all down to the entity and its manipulation. He couldn’t kid himself though.

It was her.

She was too kind for this world. No, that made her sound naive and innocent.

That wasn’t it.

She was just the kind to believe there was always another way. That violence was your last and final option, not your first convenience.

Everybody kept telling him he was a hero—for bringing this information to the attention of the Academy, for surviving the past and the future to warn the present.

He didn’t feel like a hero. He felt like nothing more than a confused child.

Placing a sweaty hand on his mouth, he closed his eyes briefly, pushing past his fatigue to enter more data into the holo panel before him.

The Admiral suddenly walked in.

Despite the fact everyone in the room was busy, they all found the time to turn, snap a salute, and acknowledge her entrance.

She walked over to him determinedly. He looked up sharply, fear kicking through his gut at her expression.

She was disappointed in something or someone.

Before he could question whether it was him, the Admiral reached him and blurted, ‘I thought you said we could trust her.’

Carson’s world kind of crumbled. He felt as if someone ripped into him and tore him down.

There was no doubt the Admiral was talking about Nida.

Had she done something?

Had the entity taken control?

Had Nida tried to sabotage this mission?

Before he could dig himself a grave within his guilt, the Admiral continued, ‘despite what she may have achieved, it is clear she’s still a cadet. She’s not cut out for this. Or at least I think she isn’t. So you’re going to have to tell me, Blake, if it comes to a fight, can I rely on her? I’ve asked the Cadet, but to be honest, she’s in no state to answer. She’s confused. She’s a mess. So I need you to tell me, should I rely on her? Or should I operate as if she will be useless in battle? I need to know. I must plan for the eventuality that the Vex will survive.’

Carson’s mouth was dry. Dryer than a desert planet baking under three suns. His heart pounded away heavily in his chest, too. It felt like a meteor shower thundering to earth.

The Admiral looked at him directly, crumpling her brow when he didn’t answer immediately. ‘Blake?’

‘You can rely on her,’ he said, and he surprised himself by speaking clearly, directly, and calmly. Which was incredible considering the confusion swirling within.

To be honest, he didn’t know whether the Admiral could rely on Nida.

. . . .

No, he did. And that’s why he answered automatically.

She had always come to his aid. She’d always done what was right. Sometimes they didn’t agree on what that was, but when someone’s life was on the line, he knew she’d help.

With all the force of the entity if she had to, or with nothing more than her hands if it came to it.

Carson faced the Admiral, he set his jaw, he lifted his chin, and he looked at her determinedly.

The Admiral looked back. Eventually she arched an eyebrow. She sighed, it was the kind of rattling, shaking move that revealed just how much stress she was under.

Stress they were all under.

She wasn’t breaking though. Now was not the time to break.

‘Very well, you believe in her, I’ll trust you. She seems confused, though, Carson. I’ve seen what she can do with the entity,’ the Admiral now crossed her arms uneasily, narrowing her gaze as she stared at the wall, ‘it’s unquestionably powerful. If it comes to a fight, she’ll be an unimaginable boon. Every doctor and scientist I’ve spoken to assures me the modified telekinetic implant will keep that entity under complete control. We no longer have to fear it.’

Carson remained silent. Deathly silent.

‘According to reports, she can use it to produce incredible amounts of power, to manipulate space even. She could protect shock troops, or aid in any battles the Chronos may come under.’

Carson couldn’t speak.

‘If our plan to destroy Remus 12 fails, we’ll need her. She’s confused,’ the Admiral repeated, ‘understandably. If this were a normal mission, she wouldn’t be on it. Considering what she’s faced, she’d be back at the Academy receiving considerable counselling. We’d also be seeing to the removal of the entity. We have neither of those luxuries. I need her. So I want you to go to her and fix it. She seems to trust you. You need to make her understand she is no longer at the Academy. This is the real world, and she must step up.’

Carson winced.

‘I’m relying on you, Lieutenant. Fix this.’ With that, the Admiral whirled on her foot, muttered something to one of the passing officers, and barreled through the door.

She would have so much to do.

But not as much as him.

Fix it? Though he’d been determined to do that, he didn’t see how going to Nida now could achieve much.

She didn’t want to see him.

She certainly didn’t need him to tell her it was time to pull her socks up.

He knew she was capable of accepting this responsibility, despite the fact everyone else didn’t think she was up to it.

Plus, he didn’t want to push her . . . .

The Admiral was acting as if the entity was under complete control, but Carson wasn’t so sure.

So he had to be so very careful.

So very careful.

With his heartbeat ringing in his ears, eventually he mustered the courage to push away from the panel and make it through the door.

He already knew where Nida’s quarters were. That was the first thing he’d checked when he’d boarded the Chronos.

Walking towards them, however, set him on edge. Nerves more powerful than any he’d ever felt thundered through his belly, feeling like a hoard of Barbarians tearing down his resolve and courage.

Yet he forced one foot in front of another until he faced her door.

Sleek new metal, he pressed his fingers into it.

Swallowing hard, sounding like a gasping fish, he just waited there.

He looked like a complete idiot, but thankfully people were too busy to notice Carson Blake shaking in his boots outside a cadet’s door.

He couldn’t help but think that several months ago he’d never have behaved like this.

The Carson Blake of the past had led the Force, and he’d done so with a stiff upper lip.

Now, however, Carson was practically falling apart.

Eventually he mustered the courage to do what he had to. He brought his stiff sweaty fingers down and pressed them into the intercom button. ‘Ah, Nida,’ he stammered through his words, his voice a shaking mess, ‘are you in there? I need to talk to you, Nida,’ he tried again.

It was hell as he waited for her to answer. He’d already checked with the computer to confirm she was inside, so he knew she was in there. But as time stretched on, it became clearer and clearer she didn’t want to speak to him.

He pressed the intercom button down once more, clearing his throat uncomfortably. He continued, ‘Nida, I’m really sorry, I need to speak to you. Please let me in, Nida.’

Again she didn’t answer. Just before he could turn away, however, there was a soft beep, and the door unlocked. It opened to reveal her quarters.

They were large, especially generous for a cadet. There was soft grey and red carpet on the floor, partially showing the logo of the Coalition, and it led out to a wide room dotted with various chairs, a desk, and an appreciably sized bed. All around one wall was a continuous bank of windows, stretching out beyond to the fantastic view of space: just blackness with those lines of stars flashing past indicating just how fast the Chronos was travelling on its desperate mission.

For just a bare second, he let himself be distracted by that view. He struggled to find his equanimity as his attention focused on the great beyond.

Then he saw her.

She was standing off to the side of the room, awkwardly leaning with one leg against her desk. As she crossed her arms in front of her chest, she looked on at him with the kind of expression that set his teeth on edge.

Her pert lips were pressed together, her eyebrows pushed low over her usually sparkling eyes.

Though he’d faced off against many enemies in his time, and had pushed through tasks more arduous than most could imagine, seeing Nida contemplating him with such a cold expression was the worst.

His stomach gave such a kick of fear, it was a surprise it didn’t lurch right out of the window and tumble into the cold depths of space.

He took several short, careful steps into the room. The door closed with a near-silent hiss behind him, and yet it made him jump.

He was nervous, twitchy, edgy. And as he lifted his head up and mustered the courage to stare at her, his nerves quadrupled. It felt like a storm in his gut. His mouth was so dry, he kept swallowing every other second.

She didn’t say anything. She simply remained there with her arms crossed and her expression terse.

No, it wasn’t terse—it was complicated, like this entire situation.

Though Carson thought he knew what she was feeling, in all reality, it was unlikely Nida understood herself.

This situation was changing so rapidly, it was impossible to predict how anyone would react to it.

Bringing one sweaty hand up and running it through his short hair, he cleared his throat. ‘The Admiral sent me here,’ he began, then winced as he realized that was the wrong way to start.

Nida had let him in, which was a good sign, and possibly the evidence he needed that maybe she still trusted him. He should fall down on one knee and beg for her forgiveness. He shouldn’t pretend the only reason he was here was that Forest had ordered him.

She turned from him, considering her crossed arms instead with fixed attention. The quality of her gaze suggested the crease and crumple of her sleeves held the very secrets of the galaxy. That, or they were infinitely more interesting than Carson himself.

Again he cleared his throat. He had to jump in and do this.

He couldn’t afford to stand here like an awkward, love-struck teenager when the whole galaxy was on the line.

He stiffened his jaw.

‘Nida, look, I’m sorry, I am so sorry for what happened,’ once he began speaking, it was as if the floodgates had been opened. His words came tumbling out in one grand jumbled mess of slurred syllables. He could barely understand himself, but he kept pushing on, ‘I’m so sorry. This situation . . . It’s gotten out of hand. I know how you feel about the Vex, and trust me, I feel the same. If there was another way to save them, we’d do it. If there was a way to be sure we weren’t condemning the Coalition, we’d do it. I promise you that,’ he kept stumbling on, forcing his words out in one endless stream of unbroken consciousness.

She didn’t stop him. She did, however, pull her gaze from her sleeves tentatively. She let it drift across the floor until finally it reached his eyes.

She looked lost. Lost.

Realizing that gave a kick of nerves to his stomach. ‘Nida,’ he said suddenly, ‘are you okay?

His simple question got her attention.

Her gaze flickered, her eyes practically closing as it appeared as if they would fill with tears. ‘No,’ she said.

He ground to a halt. He gripped his sweaty fingers into fists, held them there, and watched her.