Out of Focus (Chosen Paths #2) (23 page)

I swear if I didn’t know better, I can hear his laughter. But that would be impossible, because my heart has now jumped its way clear into my ears, its
whoosh
drowning out all other sounds around us.

Grady’s voice is muffled. “Ready?”

“Ready.” I respond immediately, because honestly, I want to get the hell off this plane. This leaning in and out shit
has
to be worse than the jump itself. My poor body can’t take much more.

After a few seconds, our bodies dip downward, and Grady yells, “Here we go.”

And then we leap.

Roaring wind is the first thing I notice. It assaults me from below, muting everything around me. I hear nothing. Just pure silence.

Time seems to slow as we fall. But strangely enough, it doesn’t feel as though we’re falling. There is no drop in my stomach, as I anticipated. It’s a smooth transition, so smooth, it’s peaceful. Serene.

I force myself to open my eyes, seeing nothing but the radiance and clarity of the blue sky surrounding us.

It’s breathtaking.

Pure joy and tranquility fill me as I take in the openness, the freedom laid out right in front of me.

I’m not falling . . .

I’m flying.

I’m weightless.

I’m
free
.

And in this moment, my shackles no longer remain.

I release my hold on the harness and extend my arms to the sides as though they were wings. I smile against the rushing wind, fascinated by the feeling of pure, unadulterated freedom and the associated weightlessness. Masculine hands soon cover my own, interlacing our fingers as they curl between mine, and I know as we fly together, Grady Bennett has taken me somewhere within myself I never imagined I would have the courage to possess.

Fear no longer exists in this place. There is just calming peace and resounding strength. They wash through me, bathing and cleansing as they flow. My eyes shut peacefully from the overwhelming relief provided.

With his arms overlaying mine, Grady squeezes my hands, and in turn, I tighten my grip around his fingers, offering him a silent
thank you
for the absolute beauty of this moment.

Shortly after, I lose the weight of his arms. They disappear and I bring my own across my chest, preparing for the jolt of the chute. Then, we’re upright.

I focus my stare on the patches of brown and green below us as we drift toward the ground. The smile on my face is cemented, unbreakable as we continue our glide through the air. The next eight or nine minutes are some of the most beautiful I have ever experienced. They’re filled with calm silence as I reflect on my life, knowing that the strength Grady sees in me does in fact exist.
I
was wronged. I have suffered because of that, but I don’t have to suffer forever. I can choose to let that darkness go. I can choose to live without its vicious talons attempting to repeatedly rip at my flesh—at the flesh of my soul.

I. Can. Live.

I feel it, vigorous and lively as it surges through my soul, clearing the previous darkness with its resilient light. The process warms me through and through, and I feel its heat rising, encompassing my heart.

This must be what love feels like, I surmise.

And I know, as we continue our downward approach toward the vast earth below us, I’ve landed before my feet have even touched the ground.

The warmth of full-fledged joy spreads, further heating my insides with the stark realization I have indeed completed the fall. And with this newfound freedom, with this landing, I am no longer afraid to acknowledge what I’ve been denying myself for so long.

I am in love with Grady Bennett.

Minutes later, Grady offers instruction in my ear about landing, and I do as I’m told. Bringing my knees back up into the safety of my chest, I hold on for dear life as I watch the terrain coming at us at what seems like a million miles an hour.

I squeal loudly with its fast approach, but we land softly, Grady’s legs absorbing the majority of the impact. As soon as I’m unhooked from the harness, I turn, my body still shaking from adrenalin overload, and jump into his expectant arms.

He wraps them tightly around my body and my legs circle his waist. I grin into his neck, inhaling his scent, then press my quivering lips against his skin and murmur excitedly between repeated kisses, “I did it. I jumped out of a fucking plane!”

His cheek presses against my temple with his grin and with my arms still hooked around his neck, I lift myself away from his body to take in his beauty.

The sun shines down like a beacon of light made just for us. His eyes gleam just as brightly, wild with his own rush, and his smile one of unmistakeable pride.

“You did it. I knew you could.”

My cheeks ache from the constant smiling, but I don’t care.

He holds me tightly in his arms then sinks his teeth into that bottom lip, shaking his head. “Beautiful.”

And just when I didn’t think I could grin any wider, I do.

Beautiful.

For once, I actually believe him. And with that belief, the light of pure happiness floods me. Like Spencer’s light.

Maybe this is what love feels like.

Can I love . . .
can I love myself?

My heart is pounding, each beat a fresh rush of life and energy.

I feel alive.

I feel capable.

I feel strong.

Fear no longer reigns as I secure myself into his beautiful, riveting stare.

Beautiful.

There are no more walls between us as he continues to hold me. There is just an unrivaled sensation of liveliness as my heart continues pumping wildly within my chest.

Every cell inside my body flares to life as I bring my hands to frame his face and give him yet another piece of me. Moisture lines my eyes, and I swallow my emotions as best I can before I speak. “I love you, Grady Bennett. I do. I love you.”

I shake my head, refusing to let my past taint the innocence of this moment. “I want to give you every part
of me, share things with you that need to be shared, and I will. But tonight, it’s about us. No one or nothing else. Can you give me that, please?”

Grady’s stare tightens on my pleading eyes, still threatening unshed tears. He lowers his forehead to mine, pulling my body as close as he can within his arms, then whispers, “I love you too, Cass.
All
of you. I need you to know that. Understand that. Hear me when I say, I love every single piece of you, broken or not. Can you
trust
me in that, sweetheart?”

He loves me.

Grady Bennett, badass cop, sensational cook, sexy-as-fuck incredible man, LOVES me. What in the hell could I have possibly done to ever deserve
that
?

I love every single piece of you, broken or not.

Is it only possible because I’m learning to love me too?

My throat wells with unspoken sentiment, and I nod my head, because I do trust him, completely. With my heart. With my past. With my secrets. I know with absolute certainty, as I live and breathe, as I remain held in his arms with his own eyes glistening back at mine, I do.

Grady grins then lessens his hold to set me on my feet as he repeats the very thing he said to me on our first date.

“Then let’s get the fuck out of here.”

I laugh as he presses his lips firmly against my forehead, linking his finger with mine to lead the way.

I couldn’t agree more.

THE RIDE BACK TO
Grady’s apartment is one of silence, filled with implicit looks of longing and gentle caresses of our joined hands. Strong fingers remain threaded between mine, woven tightly with the unspoken promise of what awaits us. His thumb casually strokes the soft flesh of my palm, sending a zing of warmth straight to my lower stomach in anticipation. Across the cab of the car, we join passionate stares, our eyes blistering with both want and need. The fire in my belly plummets, sending waves of pulsating heat between my thighs when his tongue darts between the seal of his lips. He redirects his gaze to the road in front of us, then lifts my hand, opening it widely so he can press his open mouth to the center of my palm. Blood warms my cheeks, and I clear my throat before shifting in my seat in attempt to lessen the urgent ache each throb brings.

Grady releases my hand, but I keep it raised, placing it tenderly against the stubble of his cheek. From the side, my eyes take in his strong profile as he drives, embedding the sight in my mind. The slight curl of his rounded, full lips due to my blatant stare. The way his jaw tightens and how the muscle lining it ticks as he forces himself to keep his eyes on the road. The rise of his chest when I creep over the console separating us to press a soft kiss in the crook of his corded neck. And as his scent fills my lungs, I run my nose along his skin, creating forever memories of this moment. Parting my lips, I drag them upward until they land and seal around the bottom of his earlobe.

A low growl breaks the silence, and I grin before gripping his ear with my teeth.

“Sweetheart, at this rate we’re not going to make it to the apartment.”

My smile extends, delightfully satisfied with the effect I have on him, before I lower my head and ease my body back into my seat. Just as before, his hand reaches for mine, and I willingly comply, joy filling my heart with the knowledge that he longs for my touch as much as I do his. His fingers curl into mine, resuming his firm grip, and I tear my eyes away, redirecting them toward the windshield.

After what seems like an eternity, we finally make it to his apartment. Grady parks, pulls the keys from the ignition, and twists to face me. He lifts his hand, tracing the pads of his fingers along my forehead and down my cheek. The air grows heavy, coated with hunger and anticipation as he draws his fingers along my lips. My mouth opens slightly, and my tongue grazes his fingers with their pass. As it makes contact, Grady’s nostrils flare, and the pooling heat blossoms into an inferno as I watch his reaction.

His voice is raspy, gruff, and low as he drops his hand and directs, “Come here.”

No “please” is necessary this time. My body voluntarily rises and crosses the space between us, propelling me forward until I can go no farther. Our slick mouths meet, opening immediately upon impact. I angle my head, sealing my lips against his, and our tongues graze with each hungry sweep. A moan is pulled from my throat, and Grady swallows it as he continues devouring my mouth, tilting his head in the opposite direction for better access. The kiss becomes frenzied and urgent, deepening until our teeth clash and our tongues wage their own war.

“God, Grady,” I moan against his lips, “I need you.”

Grady tears his mouth away from mine, face flushed and eyes wild, feverish with desire. He maintains his stare, lowering his arm and yanking the handle to his door. Only when it’s open do his eyes break from mine. He swiftly removes himself from the car, leaving me alone when he shuts the door behind him. My heavy pants are all I hear as I watch his deliberate steps. He rounds the front and makes his way to my door, whipping it open once he arrives. A muscular hand reaches inside the car, waiting for me to take hold. As soon as I make contact, I’m tugged from my seat and the door is shut. I grin up at him, his obvious hurry making me giggle.

His face relaxes with my smile and his movements slow as he steps forward. His forearms hit the window behind me, pinning me inside his frame. “As much as I want to be a gentleman tonight, I make no promises.”

It’s been a month for me, waaaay too long.

I definitely don’t want a gentleman tonight.

He wedges his thigh between my knees, opening my stance. Then his warm body closes around me, and he presses his hardened erection into the seam of my jeans. Fiery sensations rush through my body, and my fingers fist the back of his shirt, pulling him close as I grind against his hardened cock. His chest heaves against mine. My lips find his ear and I whisper headily, “I trust you, Grady. I’ll take it however you want to give it to me.”

Grady’s mouth finds my neck and his hips roll into my center, temporarily relieving the ache, only for it to be replaced with a more heightened, undulating surge of need. I whimper with the feeling just as Grady lifts his head, his eyes landing on mine as he states, “
Rock-fucking-hard
for a solid month, sweetheart.”