Out of Focus (Chosen Paths #2) (24 page)

I release his shirt and lower my hand, curling my fingers and gripping his bulge between our bodies. “Then do something about it,” I challenge.

His jaw clenches with my brazen hold, and he presses his weight off his arms, his warmth disappearing as he rises. Taking my hand into his, he whirls on his heel, his feet on a mission as he pulls me behind him. I fight the urge to giggle, excitement and giddiness flooding me with his insistent strides.

As soon as we make it up the steps, I’m whipped upward and cradled against his chest as his steps strengthen. The laughter breaks free as I wrap my arms around his neck, nestling my forehead into his warmth as I inquire, “In a hurry?”

“To get you inside the apartment, yes.”

I grin into his shirt. “And after we’re inside?”

My body is jostled as he works his key into the lock of his door. “Then I’ll no longer be in a hurry, because I plan on taking my sweet fucking time with that body of yours.”

Another pang strikes right between my legs, and I open my mouth on his skin, nipping him lightly with my teeth, signaling my approval.

“Jesus Christ, Cass,” he groans, throwing the door open and kicking it closed behind him. His keys hit the floor just as the click of his turned lock sounds. I toe off my shoes and Grady’s body shifts as he does the same. Then, more purposeful strides until I find myself in the familiar darkness of Grady’s bedroom. I’m lowered to my feet, but Grady’s hands remain on my waist, guiding me with each of his forward steps. The backs of my knees hit the side of his bed, and I willingly lower myself onto its surface.

“Stay there.” Grady’s tone is insistent.

My brows hit my hairline with his instruction, and I watch as he crosses the room in three wide strides. He flicks on the light then turns to face me.

“Eyes on me, sweetheart. I want to see you.”

I do as I’m told, surprisingly compliant to his demands. Every single time I’ve had sex, since the very beginning, I have always ensured
I
was the one in complete control. I dictated everything from kissing, to foreplay, to entry, to coming. There was nothing about the act that brought about any sensation of desire for me. It was always about the control.

But as I lie here, watching Grady’s arm extend over his back to tug his shirt over his head, I want nothing more than to surrender. I’m tired of not feeling, of not experiencing all that sex has to offer. I want him to show me, to teach me, to guide me in how to be physically intimate with someone you care about, in a way that doesn’t end in complete demeaning hatred for myself.

I trust him to do that and to care for me and treat me with the utmost of respect while he does it.

So as I lift my arms above my head, submissively crossing them at the wrist, I deliver into his hands the very last piece of me: Complete control over my body.

Grady’s eyes are molten as they take in my offering. They slide slowly along the length of my body, clear in their understanding of exactly what I’m giving him. His throat works a swallow, then he steps closer and leans his weight onto the bed. My stare holds his as he moves to straddle my waist, his knees pressing down on each side of me. He sits back on his heels, sparing me of his weight, his eyes locked on mine.

“So goddamn beautiful, Cass, I can hardly breathe.”

Everything within me wants to weep for the beauty of this moment. A moment that could have been—that
should
have been—had I not so thoughtlessly given it to someone who didn’t matter. Someone who hadn’t cared.

Yet, as our stares remain bound, I know this is a
new
moment, one that can be recreated. Redone. This isn’t about sex. This isn’t about control. This is about the demonstration of love in a physical sense. An action I’ve never known, never had the pleasure of understanding, but as I willingly offer myself to him, I know he can teach me.

So, in essence, as I openly give myself, I’m also relinquishing my virginity . . .

Restored for the sole purpose of being taken just so I can experience
him
.

I inhale contently when his fingers brush just under the hem of my shirt, blazing as they graze upward along the line of my stomach. His touch lingers just under my bra and is feather-light with its descent. My mouth opens and I lick my lips, breaking away from his stare to watch his hands trace their path downward underneath the cotton of my shirt. As soon as they hit the ridge of my jeans, his hands grip the bottom and my upper body rises as my shirt is tugged over my head. After its removal, I resume my position on the bed, lying back and overlapping my wrists.

Grady lowers his chest and the warmth of his bare flesh hovers above me, just before his mouth hits the rounded top of my breast. The pads of his fingers dance along my ribs, tracing their way toward my back. The center of my body rises, giving him the access he needs to remove my bra, which he does deftly.

His mouth works its way downward, lapping a heated trail between my breasts, along my sternum, and down my stomach. After a deep sweep of his tongue into my bellybutton, he lifts his body off mine and shifts lower. My skin blisters with each touch of his parted lips, and when their path lingers slowly along my waistline, my back arches off the bed, greedy for his mouth to relieve the throbbing ache between my legs.

As soon as it strikes, my moan rips through the air. Fire erupts with the sealing of his mouth over my core, its heat penetrating through the denim.

“Oh God,” I mutter incoherently.

All warmth is lost when Grady’s body slides off the bed. His feet hit the floor, and I tilt my neck to watch his fingers work the top of my jeans, first the button then the zipper.

“Look at me, Cass.”

I look up, and the stare I receive in return sets my insides ablaze. With his teeth grazing his bottom lip, Grady hooks his fingers into the waistline of my jeans and panties, tugging gently. I press my back against the bed, lifting my lower body to aid in their removal, and moan with the feel of his knuckles as they slide down my legs, gasping as cool air strikes my heated center.

Grady stands with his waist parting my legs, and I lie on the mattress, completely bared to him. My lips lift into a shy smile, the vulnerability of my naked body on display making my cheeks warm with Grady’s passionate gaze.

His mouth quirks up on the side forming a crooked grin. Slowly, his head moves back and forth, his expression one of pained reverence. “I wish you could understand how fucking beautiful you are right now. I would give anything for you to be able to see yourself through my eyes.”

My throat constricts and tears burn as they surface, the sincerity and pleading in his tone hitting me square in the chest. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, opening myself and allowing his words to strike where I need it the most, my heart. Slowly my lids drift open and I raise my hips off the bed, insistence flooding my tone when I demand, “Then show me.”

I need him like I need my next breath.

His touch.

His everything.

Him.

Determination flashes through Grady’s eyes with my request, then he shifts his body forward and his knees hit the bed. Slowly, he lowers his hand and curls his fingers around my calf muscle, lifting it to his mouth. His lips are warm as they linger, pressed tenderly against my skin, before he gently hooks my left leg over his bare shoulder. His other arm lowers to grasp the right, kissing it reverently before placing it over his other shoulder.

Never before have I felt like this, unapologetic and bold—yet so exposed. But with Grady everything is different. There is no shame. No need to hide or be embarrassed.
No need to rush and achieve the quick, mindless orgasm.
His hungry, intense look fuels my confidence.

Our locked gazes remain unbroken as he angles forward, extending his arm underneath my raised body to guide me to his mouth. Both thighs slide over his shoulders with the movement, and he lowers his lips to brush over the apex between my legs.

My body scorches as soon as his talented mouth begins to work my core.
Unabashedly.
It feels so fucking good, an urgent whimper finds its way through my lips. “
Grady
.”

His returning growl sounds in the air and the vibrations released are almost too much for me to handle. With my forearms flat against the bed, my fingers lace together and tightly curl into themselves. My entire body seizes with the sensation and I’m forced to suck in a deep breath. Encouraged by my response, Grady’s mouth works me harder, the suction of his heated lips and the glide of his slick tongue bringing me to the brink of a maddened frenzy.

My weight is completely suspended within Grady’s arms as he devours me. His mouth alternates between tortuous, languid licks and deep, delving dives of his tongue. The contrast of the two sensations is almost too much for me to handle. I cry out in ecstasy, my entire body covered in sweat and tingling with pleasure as I rock my hips against his mouth. He moans into my core and more vibrations from his lips send another jolt of fiery need throughout my lower body. Every single muscle it hits tightens, driving more tremors of pleasure to build with each stroke of his greedy mouth.

“Grady,” I whimper. “I—”

My heady words are cut off as Grady adjusts his hold, yanking me closer, his tongue removed and changing direction with one long lick. His darkened eyes watch my reaction as his warm lips seal around my pulsing center, and then with one more flick of his tongue, my stomach clenches and I’m gone, lost to the throes of my orgasm. My legs clasp tightly against the side of his head as he coaxes me with his mouth, waves lurching and reeling throughout my lower body.

All words escape me, not that I was really able to articulate much to begin with. My grip is still strong, my nails still digging, and all I can hear are my own heavy pants as they fill the room. Grady’s gaze remains on me, hooded yet commanding as he presses his lips against the soft skin of my inner thigh. He lifts my body and gently lowers my legs to the bed, his body following suit. His weight is glorious as his chest lands between my legs and my sensitive body bucks against him with the added pressure.

“Beautiful,” he moans into my skin.

Beautiful?

I can barely breathe. I can barely move.

I’ve never known sensations like the ones I just experienced. I’ve never known an orgasm to be so intense, so incredible, so . . . earth-shattering. I’ve read about them but never believed they were true.

The man is a god.

Stunning.

Magnificent.

And he thinks
I’m
beautiful?

He’s absolute perfection.

Sexy
perfection.

Lazy kisses patter my stomach before he works his way upward, and I fight the urge to tug his hair free and weave my fingers through the strands. He presses his lips to the side of my breast then smiles, clearly satisfied with my response.

I grin back, because who the hell wouldn’t after that?

He makes his way to my neck, his mouth tickling as it grazes. “Fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen, you comin’ from my mouth.”

My face splits into a beaming smile. “Fucking hottest thing I’ve ever experienced, you watching me while I’m comin’ from your mouth.”

His body shakes with silent laughter, then he raises his head. “Got an answer for everything, don’t you, sweetheart?”

“I do,” I retort, which makes him chuckle more. His eyes fall to my mouth when I add, “Maybe you should just shut me up then?”

His brow rises with my suggestion, and I lift my head, touching my lips to his.

“Tempting,” he replies, then sweeps his tongue between my lips. My arms finally unlock, folding around his neck and pulling him closer as I deepen the kiss. After a few tangled caresses of his tongue with mine, he pulls back, his head cocked as he regards me. With his fingers sifting through my hair, his probing eyes assess me, and I answer the question before he even has to ask.

“You wanted me to be there with you, Grady. And I am. Right now. Tomorrow. Forever. I am
with
you. No one or nothing else between us.”

My fingers drift over his back, flitting lightly over the pocket of his jeans, before sinking into it and pulling his wallet free. Bringing it into view, I open it and snag the condom I spied weeks ago before tossing the leather to the ground.

For the first time tonight, Grady’s eyes briefly break away to look at the foil pinched between my fingers before bringing them back to mine.

My tone is unyielding as I repeat, “I’m with
you
, Grady.”

His eyes flare, filled with pure animalistic desire. “Then show me.”

Grady leans to kiss me, and as he does, the condom disappears from my grip. With nothing else to do with my hands, I reach forward and unbutton his jeans, pushing them slowly over his hips. As he shifts helpfully, his cock springs free from its confines. I raise my brows and redirect my gaze to his, met with an unapologetic grin.

I fight my own smile, then feast my eyes on Grady’s erection and when I do, all amusement disappears, churned into need to feel him inside me. I lift my hand, curling my fingers and fisting him at the base. I notice his mouth fall slightly open with his intake of air. Then it’s his mouth that snags my attention. His tongue drags leisurely across his lips when I pump my hand, his hips jutting forward in sync with the motion. I’m hypnotized, unable to see anything other than how fucking sexy Grady Bennett looks when he grinds into my grip.
I need to see his eyes.
Muscles flexed to capacity, sensual expression with half-lidded eyes gazing at me, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip with each stroke of my hand.

And just when I thought he couldn’t look any sexier, his hand covers mine, tightening around my grip and directing my movements.

On the downward stroke, he leans his upper body, snatching the condom and ripping it open with his teeth. He releases his grip on my hand to pinch the top and roll it over the head of his cock, then brings his eyes to mine. I take his silent instruction, circling my thumb and forefinger around his massive girth and rolling it until I hit the base.