Out of the Blue (20 page)

She’d been interested for a few seconds, till he said he needed to ‘think.’ She just wanted to punch him. And kiss him. And just needed him to go. “Go think about it at your house.”

“Are you sure? Will you call if you need something?”

She nodded. “I may call Nicole though.”

His shoulders fell. “Did I do something wrong Molly? What did I do?”

She bit her cheek and looked away from the lights, her eyes stung. “Nothing.”

He walked over to the door but stopped before going through. “I nearly lost you today. Did I do something to lose you anyway?”

“You didn’t have me. That’s what you said anyway. We aren’t like that. We don’t own each other. We’re friends.”

“Yeah, I did say that.” He put a hand on the door handle but didn’t move it. He turned back to her, looked like he was searching for words. “I can’t stay if you don’t want me to.”

“I know.”

“If this is you wanting me to be stubborn, I can’t do that. It’s not legal for one, and I can’t treat you like your wants don’t matter.”

“It’s not a trick. I need you to go.”

“You’re sure? How can you not hate me if I leave you like this? A broken arm and a stalker?”

“I would hate you more if you stayed.”

“And I hate you for making me leave.” The door shut swiftly but softly behind him and she heard loud footsteps as he went down the stairs. She heard him flip open his phone to call someone for a ride. She’d been a jerk, making him leave without even checking that he had a way home.

But he’d been a jerk first for making her fall in love with him when he had no intention of returning the favor.

Chapter 14

M
olly went to the freezer for her fourth pint of soy-based ice cream. Not great, but all that Nicole had had in her freezer to bring over. The doorbell rang. It’d been a week since the accident, and she’d been avoiding all of them, though Nicole had still come by. Justin had stayed away. It just proved what she’d thought, that he didn’t feel the way she did and had no right acting the way he had and confusing her. Men and women couldn’t be friends; the old adage was true.

She looked through the peephole and saw Chuck, one of the gay hosts from the club, out on the porch. That was unexpected. She looked down at her fuzzy pink robe and pink bunny slippers and decided that his being gay was more reason to change than not, and went to the bedroom. When she grew tired of using one arm to rifle through clothes, she decided Chuck would excuse her being a mess when he saw her cast. She went back out and opened the door, glad that she wasn’t big enough to have to wear a bra.

He held flowers, looked sharp with thick, soft brown hair parted on one side. She realized, looking from his brown eyes to his brown loafers, why she’d always felt so comfortable around him at the club. He was brown just like her. She smiled and invited him in, and he looked at the cast at her arm as he came in.

“Where can I set these?” he asked.

He’d brought stargazer lilies, large and white with vibrant pink eruptions through their middles. She’d always thought they looked like they had smallpox or something, too showy and out of place for her apartment. She gestured to the kitchen, then walked towards it and let him follow her.

“So what happened?” he asked, leaning against her table and clearly waiting for her to get a vase.

She didn’t feel like standing on a stool with a cast on, so she just grabbed a large jar sitting by the sink and filled it halfway with water and handed it to him.

“I was stupid,” she said. She watched as he clumsily set the flowers in the jar and stood back with hands stuffed in pockets to look at it.

“I didn’t know what kind you like.”

“Why are you here Chuck?”

He looked at her as if he also didn’t know the answer. He looked tired, as weary as she felt. “Justin said you were hurt. I thought I’d come check on you.”

“Thanks,” she said. “If you want you can come talk to me on the couch. I was just about to eat a snack.”

“Okay,” he said.

She sat and put the ice cream between her knees so she could take the lid off with one hand. Using her non-dominant hand had been an adventure in annoyance. Still not as annoying as having Justin around.

“So Justin says you won’t let him come over.”

“There’s no need.” She put the spoon in her mouth. “No reason he should be here.”

“I agree,” Chuck said.

Molly turned to look at him, really look at him. Outside the club, outside of the constant style tips and hair doing, he looked different. Gone were the pleasing smiles, the compliments. Perhaps, like Jason, he didn’t like doing those things he did at the club when not paid for them.

“If there’s no reason for him to be here, what reason is there for you to be here?”

Chuck turned toward her, sat up straight against the couch. He put one arm up along the back, and crossed one leg over the other.

“I think we need to talk.”

“About what? Now that I think about it, is it hard being gay at the club?”

“Of course,” he said. “Then again, it’s hard straight too. It’s hard to just be there to please others, to act like you like them, to make them smile and think you’re happy when you aren’t.”

“Why do you do it then?”

“Money,” he said. “At least it was for the money at first.”

She ate more, hoping for a head freeze that would distract her from her constant arm pain. “Look, I’m not really in the mood right now,” she said. “Maybe we could talk next time I’m at the club. Chuck, I don’t even know you, and I’m not feeling well.”

“Of course,” he said. “You only want me around on your own time, your own dime. Of course everything should be on your terms. So tiresome.”

“Maybe you ought to look into a new job,” Molly said, scooting away from him to the other side of the couch. “I think you need to leave.”

“Did you ever even see me?” He said. “He didn’t see me. So obvious. Am I that invisible?”

Molly frowned and looked side to side, wondering about the fastest way to eject crazy-town from her house.

“Go work at a gay bar if you have a problem.”

“No,” he said. “I wouldn’t be happy there. And I didn’t have a problem. Not until you came anyway.”

“Me?” she said. “How did I cause a problem?” She wished she had been given something stronger for her pain, and to drown out this conversation. She was just as sick of men as he was of women.

“He noticed you,” Chuck said. “He noticed you different from the others.”

“Who did?”

“And it didn’t make any sense,” he said. “You aren’t prettier than them; you aren’t prettier than him, even. You don’t make any sense. I’ve watched for years. I was fine watching. No one else had him either.”

“Chuck, what are you talking about?” She moved her hand slowly into her pocket to look for her phone. It wasn’t there. She pushed herself up. “I have to go get something.”

He nodded and she walked around him cautiously. She moved into the bedroom. She picked her phone off the bedside table and unlocked it with her thumb. She fumbled through the menus as she walked back to the living room, not wanting to leave Chuck alone in her house. She’d just found Nicole’s number when she bumped into something.

Chuck reached forward and slid her phone out of her hands. “I don’t think so.”

She looked up at him, too confused to be angry. “I’m sorry, but no. That’s my phone.” She reached for it back but he moved behind her and lifted her around the waist. She kicked out but he moved her easily. She tried to brain him with her good hand but it was too far away. He moved smoothly to the couch and set her down. She moved forward to stand up out of sheer obstinacy but he put out a hand.

“Just stop Molly,” he said. “You’ve made me miserable, but I think you can help me now. What do you think about Justin?”

“Why?”

Chuck held the phone like he’d hold a lit candle. “Are you just friends?”

“Why should I tell you?” she asked.

“You aren’t, right?” he asked. “You want more right?” He thumbed through her phone menus, then turned the phone and seemed to be texting.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Just desperate,” he said. “Just desperate Molly. I’m just borrowing your phone. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Why my—phone—” She stopped. “Are you the stalker?”

“Stalker?” he said. “Why would I be stalking you? I just wanted him to stay away from you.”

“You sent Justin the text,” she said. “Why?”

“I can’t have him,” Chuck said. “You can’t have him.”

“No one can have him,” she said. “Are you talking about Justin, just to be clear?”

“Of course,” he said. “I’ve been there for too long. It was enough just to watch him. Let’s see if he comes now. Let’s see if he cares enough about you to give me what I want.” He held out her phone to her.

“What on earth are you talking about?” She took it from him, read the text on the sent screen. “What makes you think he won’t just come beat you up? What makes you think I won’t?”

“I’m not doing anything worth a beating,” he said. “That doesn’t mean he knows that.”

“He doesn’t care about me that way. I’m just his friend.”

“I guess we’ll see. Why don’t you just play along? If you don’t want him, surely you don’t mind if I have him? I might be able to just get something, you know, if you just play along.”

“Play along with what?” she said. “I’m so lost.” She sat back and put her good arm over her eyes. This was so stupid. Chuck must have sent the text to Justin. It made sense, since he was a host and could use the computer and would have Justin’s number.

“I don’t even want to be here,” she said. “I don’t know what you want him to do, but I bet if you just asked him, he’d do it anyway.”

“I just want to him to see me,” he said.

“Why?” she said.

“Why do you want him to see you?”

“Look you sicko. Justin’s been my friend since before you even knew him. He’s caused me way more aggravation than he’s probably caused you. But this isn’t a way to handle anything.”

Chuck came over to her couch. “He’ll be here any minute.”

“Probably,” she said. “After that text.”

“I heard he stayed with you at the hospital. Heard he went nuts over it.”

“What?”

“From Jason,” he said. “You know, I really hoped Jason could pull you away. I think you two would have made a good pair. But after Justin made a scene Jason backed off. Why does Justin get what he wants even when none of the rest of us do?”

“And what exactly do you think he wants?” Molly said. “His life hasn’t been peachy.”

“I need your promise you’ll stay out of this,” Chuck said. “I’m going to deal with Justin; you just stay there on the couch. Not that you could do anything with that arm.”

Molly grabbed her ice cream from where it’d fallen on the floor. “Sure, I’ll watch him mop the floor with you.”

“You’re right. I need something to keep him from doing that,” Chuck said. He came over and picked up her good hand and turned it in his.

~~~

Amy, a short brunette with the dubious title of ‘Career Counselor,’ looked at Justin with a sour face.

“You want to change your major to what?”

“Psychology.”

“From engineering?”

“Yes,” he said.

She clasped her hands and leaned forward on them. She looked at both of his eyes and then turned to her drawer and pulled out a form. “I guess you know what you’re doing. But can I ask why?”

“It’s complicated.”

“You know you’ll essentially be starting over.”

“I know,” he said.

“You know you’ll need at least a Master’s?”

“Yup.”

“You know you’ll more likely need a PHD, and even then, will have a harder time getting a job than you would in engineering.”

“Yes,” he said. He took the form, grabbed a pen that was attached to a can on her desk, and read through the form before signing it.

“We’ll be sorry to lose you,” she said. She grabbed a Post-it note and opened a directory, wrote a number on it and handed it to him. “Here’s the number for your new counselor. They can help you get oriented with the major.”

“Thanks. Amy,” Justin said, reading her nametag.

He walked out of the career center feeling 10 pounds lighter and 10 inches taller.

He stretched. The air smelled better than he remembered. Spring coming. Lots of changes. And now he’d be on track to start working through his problems. He knew the next step was setting up an appointment for his own counseling, but for now he’d had enough of campus.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and hoped it was her. Maybe it’d been good to spend a week apart. He’d been able to work on himself. He still didn’t know exactly what to say to her. He pulled out the phone and opened the text from her.

“Need help. Hurry.”

He stared at the phone. Molly asking for help. That was a first. Maybe he’d proven he was reliable at the hospital. Then why had she thrown him out? She’d made it clear she didn’t want him around. Didn’t want him to worry like that. Didn’t think he was normal enough.

He’d ask her about that when he got there. And he’d tell her about the changes he’d made. Tell her why he was ready to be with her. The things he’d realized. And he’d just have to convince her that he wasn’t too damaged to try.

He had just settled into his junky LeBaron when he realized she might not be talking about her broken arm. What if the stalker was there? He slammed the door and started the car. He didn’t need this. It was like the universe was punishing him at this point. The injury had already shown him how important she was to him; shouldn’t it show her the same thing? It took two to tango. He moved through the parking lot faster than was legal, rolled past stop signs and gassed it through red lights, head spinning.

If he touched her
.

It felt like fire moved up him arms from the steering wheel. She was his now, she was his to protect, his to be with. He’d show her and anyone with her that he knew that now. He pulled up in front and saw an elegant BMW parked outside. A rich stalker. Well she’d asked him for help and she was going to get it. He wondered for the first time if he should have come armed. Nah, he’d deal with the little weasel with his bare hands if he needed to. He ran up to the door and rang the doorbell. He waited then pounded on it with one fist.