Out of the Shadow (29 page)

Every Thanksgiving was spent at one of the band members’ houses – it was their tradition since none of them had a lot of family anyway. Christmas was reserved for the family they did have.

“
Yeah,” Nate said slowly. “You okay with that?”

“
Of course,” Cole said.

“
How are you doing?” Nate asked.

“
I don’t know,” Cole said. “I’ve been working so hard that I hardly have time to think and when I do think about things, I get so mad at her all over again. I guess I just need to deal with it and move on but I’m having a hard time.”

“
Then you’re obviously not ready to move on,” Nate said. “Don’t force yourself because you feel bad for Ally or because you miss her. You’ll just end up hurting the both of you.”

“
I know,” Cole sighed. “I’m going to try to talk to her while I’m home and see if she’ll just let me have a little more time.”

“
Good idea,” Nate said as he got up to clap Cole on the back. “I just hope it all works out for you and her.”

“
Me, too,” Cole muttered.

***

“
Ally,” Alec said, peeking his head in his sister’s bedroom. “Quit hiding already and come downstairs. Cole’s not even here yet.”

Ally gnawed on her lip as she stared at Alec. “Is everyone down there talking about it?”

“
No,” Alec said and rolled his eyes. “I don’t think anyone cares. It’s your business – and Cole’s. Now come on because I think Jamie and Trevor are here and I want to get our softball game organized.”

“
Fine,” Ally said. “Be right there.”

She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and studied her reflection in the mirror. She looked the same as she had the day he’d left except for maybe a little more tired.

She groaned and stepped out of her room. She couldn’t put it off any longer. She’d been able to come up with an excuse the night before when Jamie had called and said he was hanging out with RJ and Cole at their house and did she want to come over. She’d declined, saying she had to help her mother but that had been a lie – most everything had been done by that time.

“
There you are, Ally!” RJ exclaimed as she made her way down the steps. She smiled in spite of herself and threw her arms around his neck as he lifted her off her feet. He kissed each cheek before setting her down with a frown. “You look tired. Hasn’t that cousin of yours been looking after you?”

“
I can look after myself,” she said as she stood on her toes to kiss Ren’s cheek. “How’d your trip go?”

“
Busy,” Ren said as he mussed her hair. “And I smell food – home cooked food.” He headed straight for the kitchen as Jamie wandered into the entryway.

“
All right, then,” he said with an evil grin. “How are we doing the teams this year?”

“
I’m on Ally’s team,” Ricky Shaw, RJ’s youngest brother, declared as he ran into the room, mitt already on his hand.

“
Hell yeah,” Ally said, slapping him a high-five.

“
Now that’s hardly fair,” a voice said behind her.

She tensed as she turned to face Cole. “How is that not fair?” she demanded, fists on her hips. “He’s the youngest and I’m the only girl.”

He snorted and yanked the toothpick out of his mouth. “You led your team to victory at the National Tournament and he was MVP of his little league, that’s why.”

“
That’s all right, Ally,” Ricky said with a cute smirk. “They’re all afraid of us.”

“
I know,” she said, smiling at him. She leaned around Cole to look toward the door. “Speaking of only girls, where’s Stephanie?”

Cole grunted. “She’s not here, let’s leave it at that. It’s a sore subject in the Crawford household.” He brushed past her to the kitchen where it seemed everyone had gathered.

Ally shot RJ and Jamie a confused look but they both just shook their heads.

“
Later, cuz,” Jamie whispered as he draped an arm around her shoulders and guided her to the kitchen.

They played a rousing game of softball after choosing teams. Jamie, after stealing Ricky out from under her, relieved Ally’s stress by choosing Cole after she chose RJ. After all the siblings were divided, the teams were still uneven until Richie jumped in the game, playing on Ally’s side. Even though the score keeping was a little iffy, Ally still declared victory as they all stomped into the house to wash up and prepare to eat.

The conversation at the table centered mostly around music, which was nothing unusual, and Ally relaxed. She was sure everyone knew that she and Cole were no longer an item but no one seemed uncomfortable and certainly no one mentioned it. It worked out perfectly in Ally’s estimation.

“
Ally, Jamie told me that you made the A team?” Mark asked as he smiled at her. “Congratulations.”

“
Thanks,” she said beaming. “The team is not too bad this year, but I don’t know how far we’ll make it. I heard some of our competition is pretty tough.”

“
Okay, what is the A team?” Gretchen asked.

“
It’s sort of like Varsity and Junior Varsity,” Jamie explained to his mother. “There’s only so much room on the rosters so the schools in our division developed A and B squads. Our school is sort of small and doesn’t compete with the bigger universities – we have our own divisions.”

“
So why go there if it’s so small?” Trevor asked his older brother. “I mean, with your arm you could be going to just about any of the big universities.”

Jamie shrugged. “I like Starkeman – it’s a great school and its sports medicine program is the best in the state.”

“
So, when is your first game, Al?” Cole asked as he shoved a spoonful of sweet potatoes in his mouth.

She paused momentarily, startled that he’d even spoken to her as he hadn’t said so much as two words to her since the brief exchange when he’d first arrived.

“
Our first game is Tuesday,” she said, stabbing her vegetables with her fork. She didn’t dare ask if he’d be there – she couldn’t risk being rejected in front of the entire family.

He nodded and left it at that as he finished his turkey and gravy. It wasn’t until after dinner that he asked her if they could go for a ride and have a little talk. She agreed and dashed upstairs to get her jacket, stopping only to let her mother know where she was going.

In his car, the awkward silence lingered above them and she was helpless to dispel it. She was nervous and edgy yet anxious to get the conversation started. She wanted to know if her heart would be thrilled or shattered by the end of the evening.

Cole drove carefully down the country roads, always mindful of deer that habitually darted out in front of drivers. She didn’t think he had a particular place in mind, was just driving to give them privacy.

“
Al,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I have to head back to L.A. Saturday.”

“
RJ told me,” she said as she clutched the door handle, needing something to cling to.

“
I’ve had a hard time thinking about things,” he said, though his words were forced. “I’ve been working a lot and just haven’t really, you know, sorted things out.”

“
So,” she said as her grip on the handle tightened. A touch of anger welled in her gut. “You don’t know if you want me back or not?”

“
Ally, I just need a little more time,” he said.

“
You mean you want me to go through more weeks of hell? Wondering if you’re going to toss me to the curb or find it in your heart to forgive me?” she asked, her heart ablaze with anger.

She watched as his jaw clenched and his fingers tightened around the steering wheel. “Yeah, maybe I am,” he said. “Or would you rather I just tell you forget the whole mess and let’s just jump in where we left off, huh? So I can go back to L.A. and try not to think of you here, running around with Robby Redden, kissing him and God knows what else?”

All air left her body as she struggled to breathe. Her heart crashed at her feet as fury and rage swirled in her gut. “I can’t believe you’d say something like that,” she said, her eyes pure fire. “It took me over a year to … sleep with you and I’ve known you my whole life! Do you think I’d just jump into bed with Robby? Is that what you think of me now?!”

“
No, Al,” he said with a sigh, running his hands through his hair in frustration. “No, that’s not what I meant. I…no, I didn’t mean that. But you know I have a point – it’s hard to be so far away when you’re here, hanging out with Robby on the weekends.”

“
Robby is my friend, Cole. My friend! Yes, I kissed him once but I wasn’t myself when that happened and I know it won’t happen again,” she shouted, twisting her body away from him and folding her arms over her chest. “I will continue to see him because he is my friend and I like him - as a friend. If you can’t trust me then fine – take me home. You can take all the damn time you need, I just don’t care anymore.”

“
Whatever, princess,” he snapped as he made a U-turn and stepped on the gas, anxious to drop her off and get home where he could think without the scent of her perfume smothering him in the close confines of the car.

When he pulled in her driveway and stopped in front of her house, he didn’t bother getting out of the car. “Please tell RJ I’m waiting for him if he’s ready.”

“
Fine,” she said, slamming the door extra hard. She stomped up the stairs and ripped the door open. She spotted Jamie and RJ in the living room, both eyeing her speculatively. “RJ, your friend is waiting for you outside. Have a nice trip in L.A. I’ll miss you. Good night, Jamie.”

She spun on her heel, her hair flaring out behind her, and ran up the stairs to the safety of her room. She locked her door and peeked out her window in time to see RJ and Jamie climb in Cole’s car. The tears fell as his tail lights disappeared in the night.

Chapter Eighteen

Ally jogged into the gym behind her teammates, ignoring the pang in her heart. She didn’t bother scanning the stands – she knew her parents were there. She didn’t want to see the empty spot Cole should be occupying even though he was already back in L.A. and wouldn’t have been able to make it anyway. It was just the thought that he wouldn’t attend, especially after the way they’d left things.

And that hadn’t set well with her, either. She’d foolishly let her anger dominate instead of keeping a cool head and it hadn’t settled a damned thing – only made it worse.

She forced Cole from her mind and concentrated on warming up with her team, casting furtive glances at the opposition. From what her coach had told them, the other team wasn’t a strong contender and should be an easy defeat, but not to get complacent. Ally had no intentions of underestimating – she’d play as she always did.

The referee signaled the end of warm-ups and Ally hurried over to her coach as she stepped out of her warm-up gear and listened to the game plan. She grinned at her teammates and lined up for the tip-off, her adrenaline pumping through her veins.

Starkeman won possession of the ball and Danielle quickly passed it to Ally who dribbled it down the court, her eyes darting to each teammate and watching her defenders. Cora, a tall, lanky junior, broke free of her defender and accepted Ally’s pass. Ally took advantage and weaved in and out of the other girls, cutting a clear path to the basket. Cora passed it back and Ally shot, grinning madly as the ball swished through the net. Her teammates slapped her hand as they drifted to the other end of the court, taking up their defensive positions.

The other team was an easier opposition than Coach Thornberg anticipated and Ally pretty much sat the entire fourth quarter as the coach wanted to allow everyone a chance to play. When the game ending buzzer sounded, Ally jumped to her feet and jogged out on the court to congratulate her team. Coach Thornberg’s eight year old daughter handed out water bottles and towels and Ally thanked her as she accepted her share.