Out of Time (44 page)

16
  See Anne Tomiche, ‘Derrida’s Legacy for Comparative Literature’
Comparative Critical Studies
, 7:2-3 (2010), pp. 335-346.

17
  Derrida quoted in Critchley,
The Book of Dead Philosophers
, p. 274.

18
  Judith Butler, ‘Affirm the Survival’,
Radical Philosophy
129 (2005), p. 25.

19
  Frosh,
Feelings
, p. 4.

20
  Jonathan Dollimore, ‘On Leaving’, in John Schad and Oliver Tearle, eds,
Crrritic!
, Brighton, Sussex University Press, 2011, p. 205.

21
  Hannah Arendt,
The Human Condition
(1958), Chicago, University of Chicago Press, 1998, p. 50.

22
  Daniel Miller,
The Comfort of Things
, Cambridge, Polity Press, 2008.

23
  John Berger,
Here is Where we Meet
, London, Bloomsbury, 2005, p. 6. Further page references are given in the text.

24
  John Berger, ‘The Time We Live’,
OpenDemocracy.net
, 23 August 2011.

25
  John Berger,
The Success and Failure of Picasso
, Harmondsworth, Penguin, 1965, p.128

26
  ‘Cosmic Queen: Yayoi Kusama is painting more intensely than ever, as can be seen in a major travelling retrospective of six decades of her work’,
Economist
, 4 February 2012.

27
  Rhiannon Starr, ‘Louise Bourgeois: The return of the repressed at London’s Freud Museum’,
Culture 24
, 12 March 2012.

28
  William Trevor,
Cheating at Canasta
, New York, Viking, 2007; Alice Munro,
Dear Life
, New York, Knopf, 2012

29
  Chinua Achebe, There Was a Country: A Personal History of Biafra, London, Allen Lane, 2012; Toni Morrison,
Home
, London, Chatto & Windus, 2012.

30
  Daniel Miller,
Tales from Facebook
, Cambridge, Polity Press, 2011, p. 28.

31
  Ibid., pp. 286–7

32
  Lynne Segal, ed.,
What Is to Be Done about the Family?
, Harmondsworth, Penguin, 1983, p. 230.

33
  Lynne Segal, ‘Making Families from Whatever Comes to Hand’, in Gil McNeil,
Soul Providers: Writings by Single Parents
, London, Virago, 1994.

34
  Carter,
Wise Children
, p. 35.

35
  Liz Fraser, ‘Helping to Understand the Modern British Family’, Centre for the Modern Family/Scottish Widows, 2011, available at
www.centreformodernfamily.com
.

36
  See Lynne Segal,
Making Trouble
, Chapter 3, for an extended version of my own and others’ experience of collective living in the 1970s; see also Michèle Roberts,
Paper Houses: A Memoir of the ’70s and Beyond
, London, Virago, 2007.

37
  Matt Cook,
Queer Domesticities: Homosexuality and Home Life in Twentieth-Century London
, London, Palgrave, forthcoming.

38
  Editing one of the earlier feminist collections on gender and ageism from the USA, Evelyn Rosenthal summed up the essays she had assembled by suggesting they ‘contribute to a picture of aging women as unproductive, dependent, rigid, weak, defenceless, morally old-fashioned, timid, ugly, senile and lonely’ (
Women
,
Aging and Ageism
, London, Routledge, 1990, p. 6). Today the template seems even more cruel and absurd when surveying the lives of older women, but the skewed statistics on women living alone suggest that too little has shifted in cultural perceptions of older women.

39
  Sharon Olds, ‘Known To Be Left’,
Stag’s Leap
, London, Jonathan Cape, 2012.

40
  Office for National Statistics,
Families and Households in the UK
,
2001–2010
, April 2011, available at
www.ons.gov.uk
.

41
  Christina Victor, ‘The Prevalence of, and Risk Factors for, Loneliness in Later Life: A survey of older people in Great Britain’,
Ageing and Society
25 (2005), pp. 357–75.

42
  Taken from Nancy Miller, ‘Reviewing Eve …’, in Stephen Barber and David Clark, eds,
Regarding Sedgwick: Essays
on Queer Culture and Critical Theory
, New York, London, Routledge, 2000, p. 219.

43
  Ibid.

44
  Judith Halberstam,
The Queer Art of Failure
, Durham, NC, Duke University Press, 2011, p. 187.

45
  Samuel Beckett,
Westward Ho
, New York, Grove Press, p. 7.

46
  Halberstam,
The Queer Art of Failure
, pp. 3, 87, 96, 110.

47
  Ibid., p. 137.

48
  See, for instance, Ginette Vincendeau,
Brigitte Bardot
, London, Palgrave Macmillan, 2013.

49
  Malvina Reynolds, ‘I Don’t Mind Failing in this World’, available at
www.youtube.com
.

50
  See
www.beyondmarriage.org
.

51
  See, for one, Lisa Duggan, ‘Beyond Same-Sex Marriage’,
Studies in Gender and Sexuality
9: 2 (2008), pp. 155–8.

52
  Hollibaugh, ‘2, 4, 6, 8: Who Says that Your Grandmother’s Straight?: Enhancing the Lives of LGBTQ Older Adults in the Twenty-First Century’,
The Scholar and Feminist Online
, 10.1–10.2, Fall 2011/Spring 2012.

53
  Oscar Moore,
A Matter of Life and Death
, London, Penguin, 1994; Jonathan Dollimore,
Death
,
Desire and Loss in Western Culture
, London, Penguin, 1994.

54
  From Cook,
Queer Domesticities
, in press.

55
  Michael Cobb, ‘Lonely’, in Janet Halley and Andrew Parker, eds,
After Sex? Writing Since Queer Theory
,
South Atlantic Quarterly
106: 3 (2007), p. 445.

56
  Ibid., p. 449.

57
  Michael Cobb,
Singles
, New York and London, New York University Press, p. 53. Further pages references are given in the text.

58
  ‘I Am Married But Lonely. Marriage = Loneliness = Divorce?’ available from
www.experienceproject.com

59
  Germaine Greer,
The Female Eunuch
(1970), New York, Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2002, p. 274.

60
  Vivian Gornick,
Approaching Eye Level
, Boston, Beacon Press, 1996, p. 140.

61
  As my friend Sarah Benton points out, etymologically, it is very interesting to note how sometime during the industrial revolution the word ‘one’ commuted into lone and alone – all neutral – and then produced the adjective ‘lonely’ which now has
only
a miserable meaning.

62
  Cobb, ‘Lonely’, p. 452, italics in the original.

63
  Ibid., p. 213.

64
  Sigmund Freud, ‘Moses and Monotheism: Three Essays’, in Vol. 23 of
The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud
, p. 130.

65
  John Burnside, ‘Alone’,
London Review of Books
, 9 February 2012, p. 24.

66
  Cobb,
Singles
, p. ix.

67
  Roland Barthes,
A Lover’s Discourse
, London, Penguin, p. 67.

68
  Jeanette Winterson, ‘The Money has Gone, so Make Love our Alternative Currency’,
Guardian
, 14 February 2012, p. 1.

69
  Alain Badiou,
In Praise of Love
, trans. Nicolas Truong, London, Serpent’s Tail, 2012, p. 29.

70
  Judith Butler, ‘On Doubting Love’, in James Harmon, ed.,
Take My Advice: Letters to the Next Generation
, New York, Simon and Schuster, 2002, p. 65.

71
  Susan Jacoby,
Never Say Die: The Myth and Marketing of the New Old Age
, New York, Pantheon Books, 2011, p. 137.

72
  Bob Dylan, ‘Like a Rolling Stone’, available at
www.lyricsfreak.com
.

73
  Michael Fine and Caroline Glendinning, ‘Dependence, Independence or Inter-dependence? Revisiting the concepts of “care” and “dependency” ’,
Ageing and Society
25 (2005), pp. 601–21.

74
  Quoted in Paul Cloke, ‘Rural Poverty and the Welfare State: A discursive transformation in Britain and the USA’,
Environment and Planning A
27: 6 (1995), p. 1001.

75
  William Ian Miller,
Losing It
, New Haven and London, Yale University Press, 2011, p. 3.

76
  Ibid., pp. 34–6.

77
  Toni Calasanti, ‘A Feminist Confronts Ageism’,
Journal of Aging Studies
22: 2 (2008), pp. 152–3.

78
  Molly Andrews, ‘The Seductiveness of Agelessness’,
Ageing and Society
19 (1999), p. 317.

79
  Stanley Kunitz, ‘The Layers’, in
The Poems of Stanley Kunitz: 1928–1978
, Boston, Little Brown and Co., 1979, p. 36.

80
  Stanley Kunitz, quoted in ‘Au Revoir, Stanley Kunitz’,
Living Poetry
, May 19, 2006, available at
www.livingpoetry.blogspot.co.uk/2006/05/au-revoir-stanley-kunitz.html
.

81
  Kunitz, ‘I Dreamed That I Was Old’,
The Poems of Stanley Kunitz: 1928-1978
, p.220.