Out of Turn (33 page)

“Whatever you’re thinking about doing, forget it,” Kade said.

I shot him a dirty look. “I’m not thinking of doing anything,” I lied. I jumped to my feet before either of them could read anything more from my face. It was unnerving to realize just how well Blane and Kade knew me. “I’m going to go help Mona in the kitchen.” Surely she needed help doing… something. So long as it wasn’t actual cooking, I’d be fine.

Blane glanced up, his lips curving into a soft smile. When I walked by, he reached out to brush his fingers against mine, pressing a quick, gentle squeeze to my hand.

Mona was in the kitchen when I got there, thank goodness, busy making something with peaches. Maybe a cobbler. I loved peach cobbler.

“Can I do anything to help?” I asked.

She glanced at me with a smile. “That’s sweet of you,” she said. “I have some green beans that need snapping, if you don’t mind.”

“I can do that.” No cooking required, right up my alley.

Mona handed me a large brown bag of fresh green beans and an empty bowl. I glanced outside. It was beautiful and sunny. “Do you mind if I snap these on the patio?”

“Not at all,” she said, wiping her hands on a towel. “I think I’ll join you for a short while.”

Mona and I went out to the patio and settled onto a wicker loveseat situated in the shade of a large oak tree. A slight breeze was blowing, so although it was hot out, sitting in the shade was relatively comfortable. I had on a pair of cutoff denim shorts and a red baby-doll T-shirt.

My mom and I had spent many summer evenings shucking corn and snapping green beans. Those memories came back to me as Mona and I sat in companionable silence, snapping beans and enjoying the weather. Neighborhood kids were setting off fireworks, illegal bottle rockets from the sound of it, but I doubted anyone would turn them in. Shooting bottle rockets was one of those rites of passage in Midwestern adolescence.

“It’s good to see you and Blane back together,” Mona said after a while. I caught her looking at the ring on my finger. “I was afraid he’d driven you away for good.”

I hesitated, unsure what to tell her about the reasons behind my wearing Blane’s ring again. “Mona, we’re not back together,” I said. “I’m Blane’s alibi for the night of Kandi’s murder. It’s more believable if the police think we’ve reconciled.”

She stopped snapping beans for a moment, glancing at me with some surprise. “Oh,” she said, “I didn’t realize…”

Now the silence wasn’t quite as comfortable. After a while, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m sorry, Mona,” I said. “Blane and I have talked and we’re friends, but I don’t know if we’ll be… more… again.”

Her smile was a little sad. “No need to apologize, Kathleen. It’s just too bad, that’s all. He loves you, you know.”

I swallowed, reaching into the bag for another handful of beans and avoiding her gaze. “I do. I love him, too.”

“And Kade?” Mona asked quietly. “How do you feel about him?”

My eyes flew to hers, but her gaze was steady, sympathy written on her face.

“Kade and I are friends,” I said carefully.

“I’ve never seen Kade quite like this before,” Mona said.

I snapped another bean, dropping it into the rapidly filling bowl.

“What do you mean?”

Mona continued working on the beans as she spoke. “Kade has always been… difficult to reach. I remember when Blane first brought him home. He was just a little thing. Too thin for his age and wearing clothes that were too big. I could tell he was terrified, but he always could put on a brave face. Show no fear. He’s lived by that ever since his momma died, God rest her soul.”

It wasn’t hard to picture Kade as Mona described him. Sometimes it seemed, if I just looked hard enough, I could see that same scared little boy in his eyes.

“He kept us all at arm’s length for so long,” she continued. “If he didn’t care about us, then we couldn’t hurt him. Caring about someone left him vulnerable. And he’s never forgotten that.” Mona looked at me. “Now I see him with you, the way he looks at you, and I realize how in love he is, though he may not yet know it himself. And I cry inside, for him and Blane and you, because I don’t know how this can end well.”

I looked at her, stricken. Mona and Gerard had worked so hard for years to build a family with Blane and Kade, and now I was destroying it. What had I done? “I-I’m so sorry,” I stammered, dropping the beans I held back in the bag and clenching my fists to stop them from shaking. “I’ll go. Right now.” I made to stand up, but she grabbed my wrist, holding me firmly.

“No, Kathleen,” she said kindly. “I didn’t say those things to make you leave. You’re a part of this family, I’m just not sure yet what path you’ll take. My heart hurts for you, too. I know you didn’t intend for any of this to happen.” She shrugged. “Who can say when or where love will grow? It’s no more your fault than Blane’s or Kade’s. I don’t blame you.”

The ache in my chest eased a little. I’d been afraid of what Mona had been thinking all this time, seeing me with Blane one moment and Kade the next. But she was right. The future terrified me.

Her hand reached down to grasp mine. “I just want you to know that I’ve grown to love you like I would a daughter, so I’m going to give you some advice, if that’s all right.”

I cleared the lump out of my throat. “Yes, ma’am,” I said softly, reminded strongly of how my own mother would have talked to me.

“It sounds trite, like a cliché, but follow your heart. Don’t let anything else—the past, the future, the what-ifs or ramifications, mistakes made or past hurts—don’t let any of it stop you from going where love leads you. Love is the only thing worth living for, and you’d be surprised at how love can heal all wounds, if given some time.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that love wasn’t in the cards, at least not for me. Fear made me shy away from Blane, and Kade had already made his decision. If I was less selfish, I’d go stay with Alisha rather than soaking up being here with both of them for as long as I could.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?”

I turned. Charlotte stood at the edge of the patio.

“No one answered the front door,” she said, her gaze falling to Mona’s and my clasped hands. She looked back up to Mona. “Is Blane around?”

“He should be,” I said, getting to my feet. “I’ll take you to him.”

Charlotte’s smile was stiff.

I felt her eyes boring into my back as I led her inside through the kitchen. “Would you like a cup of coffee or something?” I asked to be polite.

“You don’t have to play the fiancée for me,” she replied. “I know the truth.”

The curt words took me aback. “I wasn’t trying to ‘play the fiancée,’ ” I snapped. “I just have manners. Something you obviously lack.”

Charlotte stood right in front of me. “I saw what you did to Blane,” she hissed. “You broke his heart, and it doesn’t matter if you weren’t sleeping with Kade. There was obviously enough going on that he didn’t consider the possibility that it wasn’t true.” She paused, raising one perfectly arched brow. “That tells me all I need to know about you. Why he’d ever want you back is beyond me.”

Now that we were alone, Charlotte didn’t bother to hide her venom and contempt. All my roiling emotions boiled over into fury at this provocation, and I lashed out.

“You’ve tried everything, and he still won’t sleep with you, will he?” I sneered. I moved closer, my next words low and said with a cold smile, “It takes more than a fancy law degree.”

Her dark skin flushed and her eyes flashed. I stood my ground. If this was going to descend into a catfight, I could hold my own.

“Should I get some popcorn?”

We both turned to see Kade leaning against the doorjamb, a crooked smirk on his face. Blane stood behind him, his face unreadable. I really hoped he hadn’t heard what I’d just said to Charlotte, but there was no way to tell.

Kade cocked his head, saying in an aside to Blane, “I got twenty on the redhead.”

“Blane,” Charlotte said, taking a step away from me, “I was looking for you. Is there somewhere we can talk?”

“In the den,” Blane replied evenly.

Charlotte nodded, preceding him out of the kitchen. Blane glanced back at me before following her but said nothing.

I released a pent-up breath when they were both gone. “I really don’t like her,” I said. “I know she’s supposed to be helping Blane, but I don’t trust her.”

“You don’t trust her because you know she wants to fuck him,” Kade said, pushing himself away from the door and grabbing a can of Coke from the refrigerator.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I snorted, taking a loaf of bread from a cabinet. “Blane can have sex with whoever he wants. I don’t care.”

“Sure you don’t.”

“I’m not talking about this anymore,” I said, getting some deli meat from the fridge. “You want a sandwich?”

“Sure.” He popped the top on the Coke and took a long gulp. “So where are we going to watch fireworks tonight?”

I looked at him strangely. “I have to work.”

“After that.”

“There won’t be any fireworks that late.”

“Then I’ll go buy some,” he said.

I set two plates on the table, grabbing my own Coke before I sat down, a little disappointed there was no Pepsi in the fridge. “Don’t,” I said. “It’s a total waste of money.”

“But you like them.”

I took a bite, shrugging. “So?”

Kade wolfed down his sandwich, while I cut mine and ate half of it. He eyed my other half until I pushed it toward him.

“You don’t want it?” he asked, already picking it up.

I shook my head, smiling as he ate the rest of it in a few big bites. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I said, “I’d better go study. Finals are next week.”

“I could help you study,” Kade said, leaning back in his chair. He wore a white T-shirt and it clung to him in a way that made my mouth water. His hand rested on his stomach as he sprawled, drawing my eye. My gaze fell lower, lingering, until I realized it and hurriedly looked back up.

His blue eyes were staring into mine, the tilt of his lips saying he knew exactly where I’d been looking and exactly what I’d been thinking.

But he was wrong. I hadn’t been imagining… I’d been remembering.

I jumped to my feet. “That’s okay. I’ll be fine on my own.” Which felt patently untrue, but Kade probably thought I meant studying, because he just shrugged and took another drink of his Coke. I watched his throat move as he swallowed before I caught myself staring, then turned and hurried upstairs.

I went downstairs when it was time to go to The Drop, but sneaking by the den didn’t work this time. The door was open and I heard Kade call my name. With a sigh, I walked into the room, straightening my spine, anticipating the disapproval I was bound to get from Blane.

“Seriously. That outfit never gets old.” Kade’s appreciative once-over had me glaring at him, even though a dozen or more men would probably do the same thing to me tonight as they checked out my “holiday” uniform.

Blane’s expression wasn’t disapproving. I couldn’t read what it was, exactly, but his gaze lingered on my thighs, bare midriff, and breasts before our eyes met.

“I’m going to take you to work,” he said.

I was quick to protest. “That’s not necessary.” Just thinking about being locked in a confined space with only me and Blane, no one else for a buffer, had my nerves on edge.

Blane’s jaw grew tight. “It
is
necessary. Kade would do it, but he has to go break in to James’s house tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“Need DNA,” Kade replied. “Blane’s lawyer came by to say that James is pushing hard for the cops to arrest Blane.”

“A friend of Robert’s, a judge here, is holding off on signing the warrant, but he can’t stall much longer,” Blane continued. “We need to tie James to the crime or they’re going to arrest me.”

And Blane’s entire career, maybe his life, would be destroyed. No one said it, but it hung in the air like a prophecy.

“Who’s going with you to James’s?” I asked.

Kade cocked an eyebrow. “I work alone, remember?”

How could I forget?

Kade walked toward me, and as he made to pass by, I grabbed his arm. Under my fingers, his skin was warm, the muscles hard. He paused.

“Be careful,” I said quietly.

His mouth lifted in an almost smile. “Kiss for good luck?”

I felt Blane’s stare like a weight pressing against my back, and Kade must have as well, because his eyes flicked from mine to look behind me at Blane. His smile turned cold.

“Maybe later,” he said. Then he was gone.

Great. Now I was going to be a nervous wreck, worrying all night.

“C’mon,” Blane said, taking my elbow. “Let’s go.”

His touch made me shiver, but we both ignored it. I sidled away from his hand and we walked in stiff silence to his car.

We’d only been on the road for a few minutes when Blane spoke.

“I want you to do something for me,” he said, glancing my way.

“What?”

“If I get arrested—”

“That’s not going to happen,” I interrupted. It just… couldn’t. Anxiety poured through me at the thought and I fidgeted in my seat, chewing on a nail until I tasted the tang of blood.