Outcast (9 page)

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Authors: Lewis Ericson

Tags: #Fiction, #African American, #General, #Urban

BOOK: Outcast
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10
After a long shower and barely two hours' sleep, Tirrell was up again. Betty hadn't returned; she was undoubtedly still with Kevin trying to clean up after him, again.
Tirrell needed to make himself useful and at the same time stay close to the house to avoid any more problems. The yard was in need of attention. He slipped into a pair of ratty blue jeans and a T-shirt and went to a small shed at the back of the house where he found a lawn mower; it would be a decent atonement.
Sweat drenched his shirt as the blaze of the afternoon sun beat down on him. He pulled it off and used it as a damp towel to wipe his brow. He began to have second thoughts about taking on this chore. He was dehydrated from the alcohol and the heat wasn't making the nausea he felt any better. He turned up a plastic gallon container of water to quench his thirst and decided to tough it out. His glistening biceps and pectorals inspired more than a number of looks from passersby who drove up and down the street, but all he could think about was Tasha.
Just as he finished the yard and started to return the mower to the shed, Betty drove up in her car with a back seat full of groceries. He ran to greet her and helped carry the bags inside the house.
“Look at you.” She smiled.
“It was the least I could do,” he responded.
“The yard looks really nice.”
“I'm gonna pay you back the money you spent gettin' your car back, too.”
“You don't need to do that, Tirrell.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Here. Your jacket was still in the car.” She passed it to him.
His cell phone rang just as he finished unloading the groceries. It was Bobby. He stole away to his bedroom to take the call. Bobby told him that he had what he was looking for; Tirrell was relieved to hear it.
“I can't meet you right now. I'm doin' some stuff for my grandmother.”
“How long will that take?”
“Why don't I call you tonight?”
“I was under the impression you wanted something now.”
“I do. I just can't get away yet. My grandmother usually goes to bed around ten o'clock. I'll call you after that.” He hung up the phone and grabbed a dry T-shirt before he went back into the kitchen, where Betty was munching on a Moon Pie.
“Was that Tasha on the phone?”
“Uh . . . yeah. I told her that I would call her later.” An easy lie in a string of lies.
“Is she all right?”
“Uh . . . yeah.”
“Are you all right?”
“I'm good, Noonie. Can I have one of those?” he asked, pointing at her treat.
“You sure can,” she said. “Wash your hands first.”
Tirrell started to the kitchen sink.
“Not in here,” Betty chided. “You know better than that.”
He went to the bathroom and cleaned up. He then came back to the kitchen and pulled a Moon Pie from the open box on the counter and gnawed on it like a half-starved urchin.
“Baby, why don't you let me fix you some lunch?”
“I got a better idea.” He smiled. “Why don't I take you out to eat?”
“Why would you wanna go out with all this food in the house?”
“Because I want to treat you.”
“Tirrell.”
“C'mon, it'll be fun. Just the two of us like I promised.”
She couldn't say no.
Tirrell took another shower and then he and Betty went for lunch at a restaurant that just happened to be close to the salon where Tasha worked. Betty smiled, knowing full well why he wanted to drive so far out of the way. He was disheartened not to see her car parked outside.
“At least she called you,” Betty said. “So you know she wants to see you.”
Tirrell absorbed the sting of his earlier lies and went on to enjoy all the salad, pasta, and breadsticks he could handle.
After they ate, Betty reached across the table and patted Tirrell's hand. “It's all gonna work out. You'll see.”
“Noonie, I have to tell you somethin'—”
Their server interrupted. “Did you folks save room for dessert?”
“No, Lord,” Betty chuckled. “I couldn't eat another thing.”
Tirrell shook his head and agreed.
The server laid the bill on the table. “I'll take that whenever you're ready.” He turned to leave.
“What did you want to tell me, baby?”
Tirrell sucked down the remainder of his soda and cleared his throat. “Nothin'. I just wanted to thank you.”
On the way home Betty asked to stop by Kevin's to give him the money he'd given her earlier that she knew he wouldn't take back. Her transparency was obvious.
“Noonie,” Micah screamed as he jumped off his bicycle and ran to her car when it pulled up in the driveway.
She got out of the car and swept him up in her arms. Pat came out of the house to welcome them.
“Hey, Miss Betty. C'mon in.” Pat offered Tirrell a wry smile but didn't say anything to him.
“Uncle Tirrell, you wanna come and play my new video game?” Micah asked.
Tirrell looked at Pat, silently asking for permission. Pat looked at Betty and then nodded to him. He lifted the boy up on his shoulders and proceeded up to his room.
Pat and Betty settled in the living room.
“Can I get you something to drink, Miss Betty?”
“No, baby. We just came from eating lunch. I'm stuffed and I drank way too much sweet tea. I just wanted to come by and see Kevin.”
“I'm not sure when he'll be back, but you're welcome to wait.”
They both turned toward the direction of the stairs as Tirrell and Micah's cheering and laughter drew their attention.
“I wish he could laugh like that with his brother,” Betty remarked sadly.
“Maybe you shouldn't push them, Miss Betty. Certain things just aren't meant to be.”
“I can't believe that. Those boys are family.”
“And they've never gotten along. After all this time they can't even stand to be in the same room for too long without bein' at each other's throats. Kevin and Tirrell are a lot like Cain and Abel, and you know what happened between the two of them.”
 
 
Kevin crept into Tirrell's bedroom and rifled through his bureau drawers, unsure of what he was looking for, but certain there was something to be found. Weeks had passed with Tirrell comfortably settling back into all of their lives and the thought of him having to wait another thirty days to make a court appearance barely registered concern. In Kevin's estimation, something was amiss.
He found a duffel bag tucked away in the back of the closet and pulled it out. He emptied the contents on the floor (a pair of boots, a fatigue jacket, and a few camouflage T-shirts). He searched the pockets of the bag and found the envelope that contained evidence of Tirrell's subterfuge. Kevin sat back on his haunches and read the documents inside.
When Betty and Tirrell returned, Kevin was waiting for them. Betty was laughing at some joke that Micah's young mind found funny. Something that he apparently didn't understand was more adult than he could handle. They found Kevin sitting at the dining table. Tirrell instantly recognized what he was holding. He froze with trepidation and anger.
“What the hell?” Tirrell snapped.
“Noonie, I'll bet you'll never guess what this is.” Kevin sounded very much like a satisfied child who'd just caught another in a lie.
Tirrell lurched toward him. “What were you doin' in my room?”
Kevin jumped up from his chair and danced around the table to keep the envelope away from him.
“What in the world is goin' on?” Betty demanded.
“This is the real reason your
baby
came home,” Kevin spat.
“You son-of-a-bitch!”
“Tirrell!” Betty shrieked.
“He shouldn't have been in my room,” Tirrell continued.
“Kevin?”
“He lied to us, Noonie. He's not on any kind of leave. His sorry ass was thrown out of the Army.” Kevin tossed the papers on the table in front of her. “It's all right there.”
Tirrell lunged at him, knocking him to the floor, and started wailing on him.
“Stop it,” Betty screamed. “Stop it right now.”
Unfazed, Kevin and Tirrell rolled around on the floor, exchanging punches and bumping into things. Betty ran into the kitchen and grabbed a broom. She rushed back into the room and beat them with it until they tired out and separated.
“I don't know what the hell is goin' on, but I'm not gonna have this disrespect in my house,” she shouted. “I'm sick of both of you actin' like . . . like hooligans. Now get up and stop all this foolishness, do you hear me?”
It took a lot to make Betty Ellis angry, and rarely did she swear, but when she did, you knew you'd crossed the line.
Kevin pulled himself up off the floor, righted a chair, and eased down into it. Tirrell stood up and snatched his papers off the table.
Betty composed herself and put down the broom. “Tirrell, what is goin' on?”
“Tell her,” Kevin barked.
“Hush, Kevin,” Betty commanded.
Silence ticked away at Tirrell's resolve. “I got discharged.”
“Tell her why.”
“Kevin, I said hush.”
Tirrell heaved, catching his breath. “I got a dishonorable. I got into a fight with this other private and he ended up in the infirmary.”
“Oh, my Lord.” Betty sighed.
“He came after me with a knife,” Tirrell continued. “I had to protect myself. They gave me a choice between gettin' locked up or leavin' the Army altogether, so I left.”
“See, Noonie? It's a pattern with him. He starts stuff and then takes the easy way out. They should have locked your ass up!”
Betty cut her eyes. “Kevin Ellis, I'm not gonna tell you again, hear?”
“I should've told you,” Tirrell cried. “I was embarrassed 'cause I didn't wanna let you down again—that seems like all I ever do. All I wanted was for you to be proud of me.”
“Yeah, gettin' a DUI and gettin' kicked out of the Army tends to inspire a whole lot of pride. Poor baby,” Kevin sneered.
Betty rubbed her hands on her face and through her hair, taking a minute to absorb the extent of what she'd witnessed between the two brothers. She thought about what Pat said earlier in regard to Cain and Abel, and feared that she was right regarding the hostility that existed between them.
“You don't have to worry about me causin' you any more trouble,” Tirrell said quietly. “I'll get my stuff and leave. I never should've come back in the first place.” Defeated, he went to his room and closed the door behind him.
Betty moved to the table and pulled out a chair next to Kevin. He couldn't look at her. He turned his eyes downward toward his hands. His fingers interlocked and his forearms rested on his thighs. Betty reached out and tilted his chin up to meet her gaze.
“Look at me. Look at me, Kevin. You're a grown man. I've asked you time and again to stop treatin' your brother like he's the enemy. I can't make you do it, you have to want to. And I guess that's my fault for pushin'. You're still angry with your father. In a lot of ways I can understand that. Are you angry with me too?”
Kevin's eyes welled up. He cleared his throat and batted back tears. “No. I'm not.”
“Then why can't you let this go?”
“I don't know why. Every time I look at Tirrell . . . I can't stop hating him.”
“Kevin.”
“I'm sorry, but it's true. I hate him and I hate Daddy for what he did to us. I can't forgive him. I won't.”
“Kevin, you have to, otherwise, this thing is gonna continue to eat at you until there's nothing left.”
“Before he died I told him I hated him. We got in a huge fight that year before I went back to school, and I never got the chance to make it right.”
Betty took Kevin in her arms. “Junior knew you loved him. You have to find a way to get some peace out of this and forgive yourself. Punishin' Tirrell won't make you feel any better, and it won't take your pain away.”
Kevin dried his eyes and abruptly stood up. “I gotta go.”
Betty reached out and took his hand. “He's your brother, and he's hurtin' too.”
Kevin slowly eased his hand out of Betty's and hurried out the door. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily before getting up and starting to Tirrell's room. She could hear the clanking of hangers and the clash of drawers being opened and closed. She knocked.
He didn't answer.
“Tirrell, I wanna talk to you. Can I come in?”
The noise inside the room ceased. There was an extended pause before the door opened. She peered inside to see clothes strewn on the bed and half sticking out of his duffel bag. He continued pulling his things out of the closet.
“I don't want you to go,” Betty said, easing into the room. “This is your home.”
Tirrell stopped moving but he didn't turn to face her. Betty moved up behind him and gently rubbed his back.
“When I found out that your father had another child I was as shocked as anybody. I knew what he did affected Kevin and Jacqui. It wasn't fair to them and it wasn't fair to you. But, I fell in love with you from the minute I saw you. Head full of hair and fat little legs and cheeks. You were such a beautiful little boy. And despite a few bumps in the road, you're a fine young man. You're a handful, there's no denyin' that, full of piss and vinegar, but I never once stopped lovin' you. All I ever hoped for you and Kevin and Jacqui was for you all to get along. And I pray to God that I'm still here to see that happen one day.”

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