Outsider (26 page)

When
he let himself into his apartment, the television in the living room provided
the only light and sound. He gasped when a strong hand grabbed him around the
throat.

“Trey?”
Ethan asked, his hold slackening.

Trey
rubbed at his neck. “Who else would it be?”

“As
sneaky as these reporters . . . Ah fuck it.” He drew Trey
into his arms and against his strong body. Ethan’s heart thudded so hard, Trey
could feel it in his own chest. “I wasn’t sure I’d see you tonight. Or ever
again.”

“After
that stirring message you left on my phone?”

“No
idea what you’re talking about,” Ethan said.

Trey
tilted his head back to look up into Ethan’s eyes. The words he was saying and
the sappy expression on his face didn’t coincide.

“I
guess it was some other guy who called,” Trey said, lifting a brow at him. “I
better find out who it was, because he said all the right words, and I need to
get close to him before this lovesick daze wears off.”

“It
was me,” Ethan said, his dark eyes searching Trey’s. “Did I really say
something right?”

Trey
nodded.

“Miracles
do occur. I’m sorry about what I said about you and Brian back in the car.”

Trey
cringed. He’d all but forgotten what had started the tension between them in
the first place. “Do you have to bring that up now?”

“I
can’t stop thinking about how many times I disappointed you today. I’m still so
fucking jealous of Brian I can’t stand it. To know that you loved another man
with such ferocity—”

Trey
covered Ethan’s lips with his fingers. “Stop while you’re ahead.”

“And
when you asked at the mortuary, I
wanted
to kiss you,” Ethan continued,
his words slightly garbled by Trey’s fingers. “I always want my mouth on you,
but . . .”

“You’re
afraid.”

Trey
knew Ethan was a fierce man—he wasn’t afraid of anything—but he swallowed hard
and nodded. His fingers tangled in the shirt at Trey’s lower back to pull him
closer. Trey touched Ethan’s face and held his gaze.

“Coming
out isn’t so bad,” Trey said. “It’s always far worse in your head than it ever
is in reality.”

“Easy
for you to say. You have the kind of family who would support you through
anything. Not all of us are that lucky.”

“You
don’t talk about your family much,” Trey said, tilting his head. “Are they
really that terrible?”

“I
can’t complain. Mom loves me with all her heart, and I think she’d come to
terms with my bisexuality. Not sure she’d cope with me never giving her
grandchildren. She adores Reagan and is always going on about what cute babies
we’d make together. My stepdad holds me at arm’s length, but he’s not all that
affectionate with his own sons, so I’m not really worried about his reaction.
It’s my brothers. They’ve always treated me like one of them even though I have
a different father. Maybe because I’m the oldest and I was always around. But
no matter how close we were in the past, I know they won’t accept this about me.”

“Why
do you say that?”

Ethan’s
gaze shifted above Trey’s head. “They despise homosexuals. Hate them on a
pathological level. There was this gay guy in school that they harassed and
bullied relentlessly. They hurt him, Trey. Bad enough to eventually land him in
the hospital. But he was too scared to tell on them and even though I knew who
was responsible, I couldn’t rat out my brothers. They were family.”

“Not
to defend what they did, but they were kids when that happened, Ethan. Surely
now that they’re adults—”

Ethan
shook his head. “There’s no telling what they’d do if they found out I’m one of
those perverted freaks they hate.”

“You’re
afraid of them?”

“Not
of what they might do to me, but of what they’re capable of doing to you. If
they ever hurt you . . .”

“I’m
not afraid. They’re in Texas, we’re in California. Soon we’ll be in Europe.
They’re not a threat.”

Ethan
nodded slightly, but Trey was certain a deeper issue was eating at the man
slowly emerging from his self-inflicted emotional repression.

“Do
you really think they’d try to hurt me?” Was Ethan truly that scared of them on
his behalf, or were they his excuse to keep his secret under wraps?

Ethan
shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

Maybe
deep inside, Ethan was a lot like him and that was why they connected. “Or is
it more like the issue I had when I came out to my family?”

“You
had issues?”

Trey
nodded, his arms tightening around Ethan. “The thing I feared most when I came
out was that I’d be a disappointment to them. I didn’t want to let them down. I
wanted to live up to their expectations, and I thought I knew what those
expectations were.”

Ethan
absorbed his words for a moment and then nodded.

“But
then I figured if they still spoke to me even though I didn’t go to medical
school and follow my father’s illustrious and lucrative medical career with my
own, the bisexual thing probably wasn’t too much of a letdown.”

One
of Ethan’s eyebrows arched. “So you didn’t just come out as gay, you came out
as bisexual?”

Trey
smiled. “I came out as
me
, that’s all. If people can’t accept you for
who you are, then you don’t need them in your life, am I right?”

“I’ll
really be limiting my circle of friends and family, don’t you think?”

Trey
shook his head. “All the important people in your life will stand by you.
I’ll
stand by you.”

Ethan
stuck a finger under Trey’s chin and lifted his face to offer him a tender
kiss. “I know that. And I’m sure that with my hesitation to come out, I’m a
disappointment to
you
.”

Trey
shrugged. “Not a disappointment. Yeah, it stings a little, but I’ll give you all
the time you need. Even if you never tell a soul.”

“I
don’t deserve you.”

“I
agree,” Trey teased, his lips fighting a grin. “What are you going to do to
convince me you’re worth my heartache?”

“Tell
you I love you.”

The
intensity in Ethan’s gaze made Trey’s belly quiver. What he wouldn’t give to have
the world see that this man loved him with all-consuming passion.

“I
like that,” Trey said. “What else?”

A
gasp of surprise and excitement escaped Trey when his back thudded against the
wall. Ethan dropped to his knees at Trey’s feet, gazing up at him as his
fingers unfastened Trey’s pants. By the time Ethan had them lowered to his
ankles, Trey was fully erect with anticipation.

Ethan
slid a hand between Trey’s legs, gently cupping his aching balls and massaging
his back entrance with one fingertip. Trey loved how Ethan knew exactly what he
needed and got right down to business. Trey sucked an excited breath deep into
his chest as Ethan’s tongue traced the rim of his cockhead. The finger tracing
his asshole in the same maddening pattern dipped inside as Ethan took Trey’s
cock into his mouth. Ethan’s suction was so tight, his rhythm so swift and perfect
as he bobbed his head, that Trey lost all senses except pleasure.

Trey’s
ass twitched as his hips began to thrust involuntarily. Ethan’s throat
tightened around the tip of Trey’s cock as he accepted the entire length. Trey
groaned and forced his eyes open, admiring a slightly blurry vision of the man
he loved getting throat-fucked. Having Ethan on his knees at his feet was more
than a heady experience; Trey felt utterly euphoric. A mixture of tender love,
sexual bliss, and exhilarating power flooded him as Ethan gave all and took
nothing in return.

Trey
struggled not to come, wanting the feeling to last forever, but his body
couldn’t resist the strong and relentless tug of Ethan’s mouth and throat or
the teasing motion of his tongue or the gentle pressure of Ethan’s hand on his
balls. When Ethan’s fingers pressed deep inside him, rubbing his prostate with
practiced precision, Trey let go. Watching Ethan swallow his load drew a moan
of tortured delight from Trey’s throat. The man might never kiss Trey in public,
but lord did he make up for that lack when they were behind closed doors.

Weak
from his explosive release, Trey slid down the wall, gratefully accepting
Ethan’s hungry kiss when they were face to face at last. The taste of himself
on Ethan’s tongue made him more than ready to reciprocate Ethan’s gift of
ecstasy.

Trey
reached for Ethan’s belt and unfastened it. “I’m going to suck you off so hard,
you’ll forget your own name.”

“I
have a better idea,” Ethan whispered, gasping when Trey’s cool hand found the
hot, thick length of him inside his clothes. God, he was hard. Trey couldn’t
wait to taste him. Still, he was intrigued.

“Better?”
Trey asked.

“Let’s
see if we have the cure for Reagan’s headache.”

Trey
grinned, his heart thudding with excitement. “That
is
a better idea.”

Deep,
familiar voices drew Reagan from an uneasy rest. She lifted her head from her
pillow, but it was too dark to see anything but Ethan’s outline. She squinted
into the darkness, wondering if she was seeing things. There were two men in
her room. She didn’t know whether to be pissed or relieved.

“Trey?”
she croaked, her throat scratchy from sleep. She’d probably been snoring.

“Hey,
baby,” Trey whispered. “Can we join you, or are you still convinced that I’m
behaving like an asshole?”

“I
didn’t say you were behaving like an asshole,” she said.

“Uh,
yeah, you did,” Ethan said.

“I
said you were being an ass. And you are. You completely ignored both of us all
evening.”

“That’s
what you said you wanted me to do.”

She
threw her pillow in his general direction. “Don’t twist my words to make up for
your rude behavior.”

The
mattress sagged beside her, and Ethan placed a cool hand on her forehead. Funny
how she could tell Ethan’s touch from Trey’s even when she couldn’t see them.
“How’s your headache?”

“A
little better, but I’m really thirsty.”

“You
want a beer?” Trey asked. “I think there are still some hiding in the back of
the fridge.”

“Water
would be better.”

“Got
it,” Trey said.

Reagan
winced when light from the hallway flooded the room as he opened the door. She
sighed in relief when he closed it again.

“Light
still bothering you?” Ethan asked.

“Not
as bad as it did earlier.” She reached up for his hand. “Did you make up with
Trey?” She hoped so. The only thing worse than experiencing heartache herself
was watching a man she loved struggling with it, and when they were both
hurting, she couldn’t stand it.

“We’re
better,” Ethan said. “He’s pressuring me to come out to my family.”

Reagan
snorted. “That’s because he’s never met your brothers. God, after we’d broken
up and I thought you were gay, I remember how hard it was to watch you listen
to their constant homophobic jokes. And when I tried to defend gays without
revealing your secret, I thought they were going to kick my ass.”

“I
wouldn’t have let them touch you,” Ethan said.

“I
know. I didn’t really think they’d kick my ass. They’re normally great guys.
They’re just a little homophobic.”

“More
than a little. I don’t want Trey anywhere around them. If their hatred and
hurtful remarks are directed toward me, I think I can handle it, but I fear
what they’ll do to him if they think he’s responsible for what I am.”

“That’s
ridiculous. You can’t change that part of who you are. You can deny it, maybe,
and not act on it, but you’ll never be able to change who you’re sexually
attracted to or who you fall in love with.”

“I
know it’s ridiculous, but you know what my brothers are like. Best to keep my
sexual desires a secret and keep Trey as far away from them as possible.”

“So
you’re not ready to reveal the truth about our relationship to the press?” She
was relieved that Ethan was on her side, even if she did feel bad for Trey. She
knew he wanted the world to know he was in love—one person or two or even ten,
he didn’t care who knew. And truth be told, she admired that about him.

“I’m
not. Are you?”

She
shook her head, sending a sharp pain into the center of her brain. She
distinctly remembered that feeling of horror she’d felt when her father had
called earlier. And Daddy didn’t know half of what he thought he knew about her
affairs. “No.”

“So
how do we keep Trey happy? He’s used to getting his way.”

Reagan
chuckled. “He
is
a spoiled brat.”

“He
deserves to be spoiled.”

Reagan
grinned. Ethan had it so bad for the guy, not that she blamed him. But she
found Ethan’s sappy side adorable, and he was displaying it now more than ever.
“So we’ll spoil him. That should keep a smile on his face.”

The
door opened a crack. “Are you through discussing me among yourselves?” Trey
asked.

“Who
said we were talking about you?” Reagan asked, scooting into a seated position
with Ethan’s assistance.

“Why
wouldn’t you be?” Trey said, brushing his long bangs back with his free hand.
“I’m just that awesome.”

“Someone’s
full of himself,” Ethan said.

“Someone,”
Trey countered, “would rather be filled with you.”

“Back
of the line, Mills,” Reagan said, wrapping her arms around Ethan’s neck. “I’m
first.”

“You
sure you’re up for this?” Ethan asked, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“You had a splitting headache earlier.”

“My
headache was caused by stress. And being here with the two of you has washed
that all away.”

“For
now,” Trey said, offering her the glass of water he’d brought.

She
released her loose hold on Ethan to take the glass and swallowed a drink, the cool
liquid soothing her scratchy throat. “Don’t burst my bubble of happiness here,
Trey. It gets enough holes poked in it
out there
.” She flicked her wrist
toward the offensive
out there,
and water sloshed over her hand.

“Won’t
happen again,” Trey promised. “Tonight we’re the only three people on the
planet.”

Reagan
wished they had more than one night alone together. They were all heading to New
York City after the funeral the next morning, and as much as she loved
performing onstage with Exodus End, there wasn’t any place to hide in the
spotlight.

“Maybe
it would be best if you found a different bodyguard for the tour, and I stayed
home,” Ethan said.

“No!”
Reagan and Trey said in unison.

“I
don’t care if she finds a different bodyguard,” Trey said, “but I wouldn’t be
able to stand not seeing you every day.” He crawled up onto the bed with them
and wrapped his arms around both their backs, leaning his face in so their
cheeks were touching. His breath tickled Reagan’s lips when he said, “It was
hard for me to stay away from you both today.”

“You
made it look easy enough,” Ethan grumbled.

“It
was terrible,” Trey said, turning his head and stealing a kiss from Reagan.
Somehow he’d managed to get between her and Ethan. “I’m first.”

Ethan
rescued the glass of water from her hand just before Trey tumbled her back into
the nest of pillows she’d been sleeping in.

“Excuse
me,” Ethan said, his hand sliding between her belly and Trey’s, “but I believe
she requested the double chocolate-covered Macadamia nut surprise.”

Reagan
scrunched her eyebrows together. “What’s that?” She didn’t remember requesting
anything.

“Nice,”
Trey said, ignoring her question. “Raw or toasted?”

“Raw
or toasted?” Ethan asked her.

“I
don’t know what you’re talking about,” Reagan insisted.

“We
should surprise her,” Trey said.

It
was too dark to see their faces, so she didn’t know if they were joking or
serious. “Turn on the light.”

“I
thought the light bothered your head,” Ethan said, leaning over Trey’s shoulder
to kiss her.

“Not
knowing what the two of you are up to bothers me more.”

“It’s
just a little double chocolate-covered Macadamia nut surprise, Reagan,” Trey
said. “Everyone does it.”

“Then
why haven’t I heard of it?”

“It’s
hard to explain,” Ethan said. “Better if we show you.”

She
trusted both of them, but her brain was racing through possibilities of this
previously untried act. It had to be something pertaining to their balls, she
decided. Would their nuts literally be covered in chocolate or was that a
euphemism for something dirtier?

Reagan
was stripped of the panties and T-shirt she’d worn to bed and spread out on her
back. As if the two of them were synched for her pleasure, Ethan drew her right
nipple into his mouth while Trey delighted her left with that exquisite tongue
piercing of his. Pleasure rippled down her belly, anchoring itself in her pussy
as a deep throb of longing. A soft sigh escaped her, and her toes curled, her
back arching in surrender to her body’s forbidden indulgence.

Trey’s
arm shifted across her thighs, and Ethan’s mouth freed her nipple, a broken
sigh brushing against her dampened flesh.

Trey
released her flesh as well. “Is your dick this hard for me or for her?” he
asked gruffly.

“For
both of you,” Ethan said.

“Fuck
her for as long as you like, but save your cum for me. I want you to mark me as
yours on Brian’s bed.”

Reagan
wasn’t sure why that got them so hot and bothered, but the two of them were
instantly tearing at each other’s clothes and exchanging deep, heated kisses
over her neglected chest. She cleared her throat.

“So
the, uh, double chocolate-covered Macadamia nut surprise is two guys sucking
your tits at the same time? I’ve got to say I’m underwhelmed.” Though there was
nothing underwhelming about the two of them going at each other like maniacs.
She just wanted to be one of the maniacs.

Both
men chuckled as they drew apart. “Sorry, love,” Ethan said. “We haven’t gotten
to your surprise yet. I was just a little distracted by Trey finally figuring
out that he can use my jealousy of Brian to make me burn for him.”

“Damn,”
Trey said. “How could I’ve been so dense?”

Reagan
laughed at the sound of Trey slapping his forehead. Or was he slapping Ethan’s
ass? She couldn’t be sure.

“Has
he ever come on your dick?” Ethan asked. “Watched his own fluids drip down your
shaft and balls and ass.”

“Nope,”
Trey said breathlessly.

“Mmm,”
Ethan said, obviously visualizing what he was saying. “Has he ever—”

“Hey,”
Reagan interrupted. “Can you stop talking about what Brian
hasn’t
done
to Trey and start talking about what you
are
going to do to me?”

“We
already told you,” Trey said. “The double chocolate-covered Macadamia nut
surprise.”

“It
will blow your mind,” Ethan said, giving Trey one last kiss before returning
his attention to Reagan’s breast.

Either
that display of their excitement for each other or her own anticipation made
the sensations even more pleasurable; her body shuddered in response to the
firm tug of Ethan’s lips. She moaned when Trey’s mouth captured her other
nipple. She was already on fire when their hands began to explore her quivering
belly and trembling thighs, so when they tugged her legs apart and began their
thorough exploration of all the hot achy flesh between them, she ignited into a
raging inferno of need and desire. Ever impatient, Trey slid two fingers into
her drenched pussy. She cried out when two of Ethan’s joined them. They worked
their fingers inside her—in unison, in opposition—while their thumbs massaged
her clit and their little fingers took turns teasing her ass. Even after they
brought her to orgasm and she was screaming her bliss into the dark room, they
continued to touch her as partners in her pleasure. Perhaps they were too busy
kissing each other to notice her pussy was clenching around their joined
fingers or maybe they liked to drive her insane. Unable to stand the torment
any further, she clamped her legs shut on their hands.

She
heard their mouths separate somewhere over her belly. Both were breathing
nearly as hard as she was.

“So
that
was the double chocolate-covered Macadamia nut surprise,” Reagan
said. “I definitely enjoyed that. No wonder everyone is doing it.”

“That
was just a warm-up for the real surprise,” Ethan said.

Strong
hands gripped her hips and turned her onto her side. Her leg was looped over a
shoulder, and Trey’s tongue flicked against her already over-sensitized clit.
She knew it was him, because that mind-blowing tongue piercing of his was working
its magic.

She
gasped when another tongue brushed over the tingling flesh of her ass.