Outsider (40 page)

“We
have to go to the studio for a segment on satellite radio. And we’re heading
for Atlanta directly afterwards.”

“Is
Sinners involved in that?” he asked, burying his head under a pillow.

“Not
the radio show.” Was he really going to abandon her when she needed his
support? Of course, she hadn’t yet told him that
American Inquirer
had
struck again, so he didn’t realize she needed him beside her. Except he should
realize she
always
needed him beside her. Wanted him there. She fiddled
with her new engagement ring as she said, “I thought maybe you’d like to read
the newly released article about how devastated you are about my continued
affair with Ethan.” She scowled and shook her head. “During a funeral.”

“We’re
tabloid-famous again?” he said, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed.

She
nodded, sucking her suddenly trembling lip into her mouth. He wrapped a
comforting arm around her shoulders as a tear slipped down her cheek.

He
brushed her bangs out of her face, but she knew if she met his gaze, she’d have
a total breakdown.

“We’ll
get through this week’s printed garbage,” he said, “and next week will consist
of all happy news about how you’re engaged to the sexiest, most charming, most
talented man alive.”

She
laughed. “That
is
happy news.”

Trey
palmed her face and urged her to meet his dreamy eyes. She almost forgot why
she was upset until he asked, “How did you hear about the new stories already?”

“I
waited at the newsstand until the new issues were delivered.”

“Why
would you do that to yourself?” he asked. “Next you’ll tell me you’ve been
googling your name on the Internet.”

Reagan’s
heart sank. “Have people been saying bad things about me online?”

“Nope,”
Trey said, shaking his head. “Not a one.”

“Oh
God,” she said. Of course the Internet trolls and hundreds of self-righteous
assholes had been talking about her online. She was sure they’d be even crueler
than the tabloids because slander was rampant online and no one had a mind to
stop the spread of speculation and outright lies. Why hadn’t she thought to
look there? “What are they saying about me?”

“You
are forbidden to find out,” Trey said.

“I
have a right to know,” she said.

Trey
wrapped his arms around her, trapping her arms at her sides. “You will not go
online, Reagan. I’ll restrain you if I have to. If I’d known you were going to
get up before the sun to torture yourself with tabloids, I’d have restrained
you before I fell asleep. You’re making yourself miserable.”

“
They’re
making me miserable,” she reminded him.

“But
instead of going out of your way to avoid the negativity, you’re intentionally
seeking it. Why did you get up so early to buy a paper?”

A
paper? Okay, yeah, she’d let him
believe that. The truth was far more neurotic.

She
shrugged. “I don’t know.” It had seemed like a good idea at the time. If she
had a heads-up on what the soul-sucking strangers were feeding on, she’d know
what to expect when they followed her around barraging her with uncomfortable
questions. That was the rational explanation she’d been trying to get behind,
but it wasn’t the truth. The truth was far harder to admit. “Maybe I . . . Maybe
I deserve this.”

Trey
leaned away and took her chin in his hand, but she couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Reagan,” he said gently, “how can you possibly think you deserve this?”

She
shook her head, unwilling to share her innermost misgivings with anyone. Not
even Trey.

“I
thought you were happy in this relationship,” he said.

“I
am.”

“Are
you sure? You don’t seem happy. If it isn’t worth it to you—”

“It
is. Everything
feels
right about loving you and loving Ethan, but . . .”
How did she say what she was thinking without making Trey believe she wanted to
end it? Because she didn’t want to end it, no matter how many voices whispered
to her that what she was doing was morally wrong. And no matter how much
something deep inside her fucking agreed with those voices, with one voice in
particular—her father’s. “I wasn’t raised this way.”

Trey
tilted his head and stared at her, searching for understanding.

“Raised
what way?”

“To
sleep with two men at once. To
love
two men at once.”

“Were
you raised to be true to yourself? To trust your heart and follow it?”

She
wished she could say she had been. She knew Trey had been raised that way.
“No,” she said, twisting her engagement ring around her finger. “I was raised
to not embarrass my father. To do what he said and be who he wanted me to be.”

“Ah,”
Trey said, “so that’s why you left home as soon as you could. So you could be
who your father always wanted you to be? I thought you went to Los Angeles to
find yourself.”

“I
did,” she said. “I’m just not sure I like what I found. The rest of the world
doesn’t seem to like it much.”

Trey
pressed his forehead against hers and shook his head. “You don’t know how wrong
you are. You are loved. By thousands.”

“And
I’m hated,” she whispered. “By thousands.”

“They
don’t know you,” he said. “Not really.”

She
grasped that idea and clung to it tightly. Maybe if she could force herself to
believe that the negativity surrounding her wasn’t directed at her personally,
she’d get through this.

“I
do a lot of social media stuff with Sinners fans,” he said. “I could help you
find your fan base online if you want.”

“Too
risky right now,” she said. Instead of finding fans, she might find haters.
“Maybe the craze will calm now that I’m engaged to the sweetest, most charming,
most talented man alive.”

“You
forgot sexiest,” he said, capturing her lips in a tender kiss.

She
tended to forget everything when he kissed her like that, except that he was
sexy.

A
timid knock sounded at the door. Instead of diverting Reagan’s attention, the knock
made her kiss Trey more desperately, press herself closer to him, and hold him
tighter. Out there, people hurt her. Here she was safe, cocooned in love and
understanding. The only way the moment could have been more perfect was if
Ethan had been with them.

“Reagan,”
Toni called from the other side of the door before knocking again. “It’s almost
time to go. Are you ready?”

She
shook her head, wondering why she’d gone out that morning when she could have
been blotting the outside world from existence with the shining star that was
Trey Mills. She ran her hands down his hard chest and flat belly as she
intensified their kiss. He caught her hand just before she found his cock
beneath the sheet tangled around his naked hips.

“You
touch that and you’re going to miss your ride,” he warned. His low, sexy voice
danced up her spine and made her shiver with desire.

“Reagan?”
Toni called, a little louder.

Trey
offered no resistance when Reagan tugged against his loose hold and found his
half-hard cock with her hand.

“Guess
I’m going to miss my ride,” she said, her smile part amusement, part challenge.

“She’ll
meet you downstairs,” Trey called out to Toni.

Reagan
giggled when Trey flipped her onto the bed and went straight to work removing
her jeans and panties. He settled between her splayed thighs on his belly and
rubbed the tip of his nose over her mound and the ridiculous
lunch-with-arrow
tattoo she had there—the consequence of losing a stupid bet. “A bit early for
lunch,” he murmured, nipping the inked words sharply, “but my mouth is already
watering for a taste of you.”

She
whimpered, clinging to his silky hair as his tongue delved into her “lunch”
box. He released her tension quickly with deft licks, teasing kisses, and hard
suction. She was almost worked up enough to come a second time, when he moved
up her body, peppering kisses across her belly. He nibbled at her nipple
through her shirt and bra and then lifted his head to watch her face as he fit
his body into hers. The man had a rhythm like no other—a rhythm that
synchronized perfectly with hers and filled her with pleasure and excitement,
but also contentment. Gaze locked with hers, he took her higher and higher
still until she shattered completely. She rocked her hips, trying to help him
find release. His eyes drifted shut, and he bit his lip, strands of black hair
sticking to the sweat on his throat and face. He thrust harder, then faster,
then slow again. He shifted her hips slightly. Fucked her shallow and then
deep. Gyrated his hips. Pounded into her.

“Come
on,” he whispered.

“Are
you having difficulty?” she asked.

“I
think I’m trying so hard to come that I can’t,” he said. “Maybe if you were on
top.”

He
tugged off the rest of her clothes while she rode him. She got herself off with
her deeply satisfying churning motions, but Trey still couldn’t find his peak.

“You
need Ethan, don’t you?” Reagan asked with a grin. “You need his big hard cock
pounding your ass.”

“No,
I—” He groaned when Reagan crawled off of him, exposing his hard, wet dick to
the air. She suckled its head gently, making Trey twitch, and then mounted him
backwards, sinking down slowly. His fingers dug into her hips, thumbs pressing
into her ass cheeks as he helped her find the rhythm he preferred.

She
peered at him over her shoulder and found his eyes squeezed shut and his gorgeous
face tense with concentration. Poor guy. He really was missing Ethan. Reagan
stuck two fingers into her mouth, wetting them with saliva, and slid them down
his balls. Trey jerked so hard when her fingertips brushed his ass that he
nearly unseated her.

“Easy,”
she whispered, massaging his entrance until one fingertip breeched him.

He
shifted beneath her, bending his knees and opening himself to her penetration.
She pushed her fingers into him as far as they would go, and he released a
groan of satisfaction so sexy that her pussy pulsed in response.

“Tell
me when I find your sweet spot,” she said, thrusting and withdrawing her
fingers slightly. She curved them upward and tried again. Trey never had to
help Ethan find it, but then Reagan didn’t have a prostate of her own for
comparison’s sake.

“Almost,”
he said, releasing an excited gasp. “A little . . . A
little deeper.”

She
knew when she found it without being told. He cried out, his cock jerking
inside her so hard that she felt his rhythmic pulses of pleasure.

“Don’t
stop,” he pleaded.

She
didn’t want to. His excitement was infectious. She concentrated hard on riding his
cock and penetrating him the way he liked it until he finally let go. His ass
tightened around her fingers, and his hands grabbed her hips to hold her on him
as he writhed beneath her. She peeked at him over her shoulder again, finding
his face taut with release and his belly tightening in ever intensifying
contractions as he completely let go. That was exactly what she liked to see, her
man lost in rapture. Her fingers were no substitute for Ethan’s big, thick
cock, but they’d gotten the job done.

When
Trey finally relaxed and took a deep, sputtering breath, Reagan found herself
tossed on the bed beside him and spooned up against his heated flesh as he
snuggled against her. “You’re perfect,” he said, kissing her jaw. “I don’t know
why I was struggling so hard to come.”

“Because
you miss Ethan,” she said. “I miss him too.”

“I
do miss him, but I think it might be because I really, really need to take a
piss.” He kissed her shoulder and hopped out of bed.

She
giggled at the moan he released just before the sound of water striking water
drifted from the bathroom. With a resigned sigh, she reached for her discarded
clothes, wondering if the bus had waited for her or if she’d be thumbing a ride
to the studio.

“Are
you coming with me on Exodus End’s bus?” Reagan asked, finding it difficult to
put on her panties because her legs were still shaking from overexertion. She
gave up with them still around her ankles and collapsed back onto the mattress.

“I
just came with you in that bed,” Trey said, turning on the water in the
bathtub. Soon she could hear the spray of the shower. “But I’ll come with you
there too. Join me in the shower?”

“I
don’t think we have time for that right now.”

“I’ll
behave.”

If
behaving meant touching every inch of her—sometimes with soap in hand, but more
often not—then Trey was remarkably well-behaved in the shower. Most likely,
though, their prolonged stay in the steamy water was causing additional tension
in her band while they were forced to wait for her. Or maybe they had left
without her. She couldn’t blame them if they had. She was being uncommonly
selfish this morning.

She
was surprised to find all her bandmates as well as Butch and Toni congregated
in the hotel lobby when she traipsed off the elevator. She had her bag slung
over one shoulder, the handle of her guitar case in one hand, and Trey’s hand
clutched securely in the other.