Owning Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC Series Book 4) (14 page)

I stay quiet for the most part since I don’t have much to contribute to the already close trio. Plus, I’m not pregnant, so there’s nothing to add there. But I do give my support and answer any medical questions they may have. It’s still a nice conversation, even if I’m not active for the most part. It’s nice having this time with them and hearing their thoughts and concerns. Even their wishes.

Dani has talked about hiring another tattoo artist or two for her shop so she can spend more time at home with the kids. And since Louie works with her too, she thinks it would give him more time to spend with Harlow and the twins, and of course the club. I think that’s a great idea, but she’s worried what Michael with think.

He’s the one that brought her into the trade and gave her a job. And he’s the one who handed down the shop to her. She’s just unsure how he’d feel about her stepping back a bit. She’d still own the place and come in a few times a week for a few hours, but she’d have more family time. I told her I think Michael would have no problem with that. Heck, I think he’d actually be thrilled that she’d want to do that.

She seemed a little unsure at first when I put in my two cents, but then she smiled and thanked me, and said she thinks I’m right. She’s going to talk with Blaze and Louie soon and then sit down to talk to Michael.

We pull into the parking lot of the mall a few minutes later. We all get out and ignore the fact that the prospect parked a few spaces away and is following us at a leisurely pace. He doesn’t even seem upset that he got the job of babysitting us. But then again, he’s probably willing to do anything the club says to win their loyalty and respect. He’d probably even clean toilets, if he hasn’t already.

The girls want to stop at a few stores to look at baby clothes and furniture first. It’ll probably be better to get all the regular shopping out of the way before we start getting stuff for the party, which is planned for next month sometime. We haven’t hashed out all of the details and the date, but they agree with me and want it to be well before the babies are born, that way they can get things situated and get anything else they need or want. That’s the way I’d want it if it were me.

Moving in and out of stores, they buy everything from baby clothes, diapers, and set up delivery times for the furniture they picked out. I asked at one time if they should wait to ask the men what they think, but they all laughed and said that the guys would just say something like, “Get whatever you want.”

Next, they wanted to do a little shopping for themselves, so I decided to take advantage of that and do a little shopping of my own. I’d like to pick out more jeans and shorts since I am no longer working at the hospital. Though, eventually I’m going to have to find a new job, but I want to wear normal clothes more, even when I do get a new job.

I find a few pairs of jeans, a couple shorts, some shirts, and even a dress or two that I want to try on. I’m not sure that I’ll get everything because it’s a lot of money and I’m going to have to be careful with my spending, but I want to at least get one outfit.

“I’m going to go try these on,” I tell the girls as they look through a few racks with some sexy lingerie. I didn’t even know this store carried shit like that.

“All right, hon. Let us know if you need anything or want us to grab different sizes for you,” Sara says.

“Yeah, and make sure to come out and model for us,” Dani says, wagging her eyebrows at me just like Michael does.

I laugh and shake my head as I make my way toward the dressing rooms.

I’m talking to one of the associates, waiting for her to find a room for me when I feel like I have eyes on me, watching my every move.

Turning around, I scan the store, but don’t see anything or anyone out of place. Dani, Sara, and Harlow are still where I left them. There are a few women shopping here and there, and there are three employees walking around, restocking and checking on customers. I don’t see anyone else, not even the prospect.

Shaking my head, I let it go as paranoia. I’ve always been this way, but the past couple months more so than usual. Whenever my brother pops into my life like he did that night at the hospital with that note, it always spikes it up though. But I’m safe and he doesn’t even know where I am. Shit, for all he knows, I’m out of the fuckin’ country…and I’d like to keep it that way.

After trying on all the clothes, I look for the girls but they are nowhere in sight. Where they hell did they go?

“Um, excuse me. Did you happen to see where the three women I came in here with went?” I ask one of the sales ladies.

She smiles. “Oh, sure. They left rather quickly with a man that came in.”

Starting to panic now, afraid that my brother did come here after all and took them, I drop all the clothes and run out of the shop. I’m sure I’m getting a bunch of weird looks from everyone inside the store, but I just don’t give a fuck. I have to save them. I’ll offer myself up on a silver fucking platter if that’s what I have to do, but they don’t deserve to pay for my sins of having an evil brother.

I’m almost out the door when I run into what feels like a wall of brick, but is really a hard mass of muscles covered by an MC cut. At first, I think it’s my brother and start to fight him, getting ready to scream, but then I notice the patches; Forsaken Sinners. Looking up, it’s the prospect.

“Hey, what’s the matter? Did something happen?” he asks, seeming to get worried, but looking around the store with a hard glare, willing to throw down with anyone if necessary.

“The girls. They’re gone. I don’t know where they went, but I think—” I start to say, but the prospect interrupts me.

“Hey, it’s okay. They’re down at the food court waiting for you. They got hungry and told me to come and get you,” he says, and instantly my body relaxes and I feel so fucking stupid. I really need to get a handle on this shit.

“Thank god. I was really worried there for a minute,” I say stupidly, trying to explain my panic to him, but in the end, I don’t care if he thinks I’m a freak. As long as the girls are safe and my brother didn’t take them.

Stepping away from him, I make my way toward the food court when the prospect asks, “Did you want to get anything here?”

Looking back, I see the sales clerk picking up the pile of clothes I threw down in my haste to get to Dani, Sara, and Harlow. “Oh, um, no. I can come back and get the few things I found. The girls are probably waiting for me and I don’t want to keep them.” That was a dumb excuse, but honestly, I don’t care much about the forgotten clothes now. I feel drained and just want to go back to the clubhouse and curl up in a ball and maybe have a good cry.

“Are those the clothes that you were going to get?” he asks, pointing to where I was just looking.

“Yes,” I say, already turning away.

“Okay then. You go on ahead and I’ll be along shortly,” he tells me, but I don’t even reply. I’m just ready for this day to be over.

After finding the girls, I sit down while they eat. I don’t get anything because I’m not sure if my stomach could handle food right now.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Sara asks, looking at me with concern.

“No. I’m actually not feeling the best all of a sudden,” I tell them.

“Yeah, you do look a little pale.” This comes from Harlow.

“We can take the rest of the food to go,” Dani says, already standing and helping me out of my seat. It’s not needed, but it’s much appreciated. “Let’s get you home, honey.”

Chapter Thirteen

Mack

Things have been different for the past few days. Off is probably a better term.

The day Rose went shopping with Dani, Sara, and Harlow, she came back feeling sick. Looking at her, it was like she’d seen a ghost or something. But every time I asked her if she was okay or what was wrong, she’d brush me off and just say she wasn’t feeling well.

All she does all day is lie in bed, either sleeping or staring at the wall. She doesn’t talk and she says she doesn’t want to see anyone. Sometimes it’s like she doesn’t even want me there. I fucking hate it and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m losing her.

After waking up this morning, I asked Rose if she wanted any coffee, to which she replied that she wasn’t thirsty. I asked if she was hungry and maybe wanted to go out for breakfast, to which she freaked out. She practically ripped my fucking head off.

Deciding to give her some time alone—or more time alone—I left the room and went outside to the garage. There was one girl I knew would want my company. My bike.

The past few days, Blaze and I have been coming out here and working on me riding again. Even though I haven’t done more than maybe a few laps around the garage, I’m still riding. And it feels great. I can’t wait until I can take her out on the open road again.

Taking the cover off of her, I checked all her fluids and started to gather everything I would need to change the oil. I know it was done right before I got shot and was in the hospital, and I think Blaze mentioned he did it again before I got home, but I needed to keep my hands and mind busy. Otherwise, I’d march back into that room and make Rose tell me what’s going on with her.

I go through the motions of grabbing all the tools, making sure I have all the supplies, and then sit down on one of the stools out here, just staring at my bike. It was the only thing I cared about after my old man died. Then, the club came and I started to add more and more people to that list. I had a family again, a mission, a duty. I started my tattoo shop and things were great. I never thought they could get better.

Then Dani came into my life. She may think I helped her, but that’s not true. She did all that herself. But something else she doesn’t know is that she saved me. I never knew what I was missing until her. She gave me something more to protect, to love, and it was different than my club. She became my daughter and reason for living.

Sure, I had the club and I wouldn’t go down without a fight, but with Dani, I had more fire and more of a will to not go down before I was ready.

Next came Sara, the twins, and then Harlow. And again, I thought I was complete, that I didn’t need anything else in my life. But I was wrong again. I needed Rose.

A few minutes later, Blaze comes strolling in. “Hey, brother.”

Nodding my greeting, I get back to the task at hand. Blaze doesn’t make any further comment and lets me do my work in peace.

By the time I’m done, he’s taken a seat on the work bench watching me with a crazy look on his face.

“What do you say we take her out for a spin?” he asks, nodding toward my bike.

Laughing, I stand up, not feeling any pain or weakness. “Fuck ya, brother.”

Saddling up, I strap on my helmet. I wish I had Rose behind me when I take my bike out for the first time since being in the hospital, but I’d probably get another earful if I asked. Guess I’ll just have to wait until she’s feeling better to do that.

Starting the bike, I feel her rumble underneath me and it makes me smile. God, I’ve missed this. The feeling of being free with nothing but open road ahead of me.

I walk the bike out of the garage but as soon as I hit the dirt, I’m revving her up full throttle and taking off down the road. The wind on my face and nothing but dust behind me, I know everything is going to be okay. Even if Rose doesn’t tell me what’s wrong, even if we don’t figure out what the Street Kings want, I know everything will be okay. Because if I can get through being shot, if I can walk again when no one thought I would, I can make Rose see I’m the man for her and I can figure out a plan to take care of all our problems with the MC. It may take a lot of work, but I’ll figure it all out.

***

We get back to the clubhouse an hour later and I feel better than I have in a long time. Not in the sense that my legs aren’t hurting or the way that Rose makes me feel. No, I mean I feel like I’ve been revived and refreshed from all things old and bad, and now I’m a new man. The road will do that to you after so much time away.

“You good, brother?” Blaze asks as we walk our bikes backwards into our spots in front of the clubhouse. Stepping back, it’s a damn good sight to see my bike in its rightful spot.

“Yeah, man. I’m good.”

When we make our way into the clubhouse, I see it’s a full house today. Everyone is here, including most of the hang arounds and club whores. I don’t know what the occasion is, but I don’t care. The only thing I want to do is see my girl and get her to tell me what’s going on. I need her to get out of this funk or whatever it is that’s going on with her. I have a feeling it’s not that she’s ill, but something else entirely and I’m going to find out what.

On my way through the bar, heading toward my room, I’m stopped by a sight I haven’t seen in months. It’s a sight that used to make me smile and long for the feel of release, but now, I feel nothing at all.

“KitKat, how are you, darlin’?” I ask the woman standing in front of me. She’s staring me down like I’m her last meal.

“I good now that I’m with you, Macky,” she says, and even though she’s not the woman I want to see, her voice isn’t annoying. Kat is kind of like the house mama. She keeps all the whores in line and keeps things running smoothly when it comes to the pussy. This place would be a wreck without her; no man getting the pussy he wants or needs and all the whores thinking they’re worth more than they are.

Now, I’m not some degrading asshole, but these bitches need to know their place. They will never be an old lady and they need to know not to try. I’ve never seen a brother turn a whore into a house wife and I probably never will. They’re only good for one thing and that’s taking the guys’ minds off of the hard shit by sucking or fucking them.

Kat and I used to have a mutual understanding. She liked having me and I liked having someone I could get a release from when the moment rose. I really don’t want to be a jackass and point it out to her, but I will if I have to. I just hope it doesn’t come down to her leaving the clubhouse for good.

“Listen, darlin’. I missed seeing your beautiful face around here, but what we were before is not possible now,” I tell her, hoping she gets it.

She looks hurt at first and then a look of understanding crosses her face. She may be in her late forties, but she’s still one beautiful woman. “I was wondering when the right woman would come along to sweep you off your feet, honey.” Smiling, she closes the distance between us to give me a hug.

After a few seconds of embracing me, she whispers in my ear, “I know it would never happen—you taking me as your old lady—but that doesn’t mean I didn’t hope for it.”

I pull back and grab a hold of her face. “I’m sorry, darlin’. You are an amazing woman, and if any of you girls would be old lady material, it would be you,” I tell her with a sad smile.

“Just not for you,” she finishes for me, and I nod. I do feel sorry that she’s getting the shit end of the stick, but this is our life. It’s the way things are. But I know she understands that, maybe even better than anyone else.

“It’s okay, honey. I’m just glad you found someone. I hope she’s good to you,” Kat says before kissing me briefly on the lips before making her way to the bar. I’m not sad to see her leave though because I know what waits for me in my bedroom.

That thought has a smile breaking out all over my face. Desperate to get to my girl, I turn around, but stop in my tracks when I see a very pissed off Rose.

My smile drops marginally, only because I’m not sure why she’s upset, but I continue on. “Hey, baby. I was just coming in to get you,” I tell her, but she just glares at me.

“Are you feeling better?” I ask, trying a different tactic to get her to talk, but nothing. Now I’m starting to get pissed. Why the fuck is she acting like this?

Rose looks me up and down, almost in disgust, then shakes her head in anger before turning on her heels and taking off down the hall. Not going to let her get away without telling me what the fuck her problem is, I go after her and grab her by the arm.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” I yell as I whip her around to face me.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” she yells back as she tries yanking her arm from my grasp, but I don’t let go.

“Baby, stop,” I try to calm my voice, but I’m not sure if it’s working.

“Let me go,” she growls, staring pointedly at my hand.

“No. Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

“You want to know what’s going on? Why I’m mad?” she seethes, getting angrier as each word leaves her lips. “You’re a fucking pig. That’s what the problem is.”

“What the hell did I do?” I ask. I’ve been trying to get her to talk to me for the past three fucking days, only to be ignored or bitched at. I’ve done nothing but give her space when she wanted it and been nice.

“Really? You really have to ask me that?” she asks, though I don’t think she wants an answer, but I’m going to give her one.

“Yes, I really have to ask. I have no idea what you’re going on about.”

Is she mad because I left her alone after it didn’t seem like she wanted me around? If so, then she’s fucked up in the head, because the only reason I did that is because she told me to or wouldn’t say more than two fucking words to me.

“You and that whore!” she yells, and then rips her arm out of my hold and takes off down the hallway. It finally makes sense. She’s jealous. She saw me with Kat and thought it was more than it was, but she’s wrong.

Taking off after her again, I can tell by one look into my room that she’s in there tearing shit apart. She’s in the closet throwing every piece of clothing out; hers and mine.

“What are you doing?”

She doesn’t answer me, but continues to throw shit around the room, cursing up a storm to herself, though I can still hear her. She’s calling me every name in the book and even making up a few I’ve never heard of.

“Rose. Baby, you need to stop. What you saw wasn’t what it looked like,” I start, but when she looks up at me with a look of hatred, I stop in my tracks. I hate that look on her and when it’s directed at me, I feel like my world is crashing down all around me. Like the floor was whipped out from under me and now I’m freefalling to my death.

How did everything go to such shit?

“Just let me explain, please.” When she doesn’t make a move to stop me, I continue on. “Kat and I are friends. Yes, she’s a club whore, but she’s not like the rest. This club is all she has. She’s not in it to become an old lady or to manipulate anyone. She doesn’t even care about having sex with any of the single brothers. She’s just a nice woman. I like to talk to her,” I tell her, knowing I need to tell her the rest, but dreading it. I know she’s not going to understand.

“And yeah, before I met you, there were a few times that it went beyond friendship, but it was only sexual. That’s it. What you saw just now was a friend talking to a friend. I told her about you and that I care about you a lot. She said she’s happy for me—happy for us. She knows you’re special to me, baby. Please, just stop being mad so we can talk about this,” I plead, not even caring if I sound like a pathetic fool. Rose is too important to me to lose over my foolish pride or my ego. I’ll lay it all out on the line and bare my soul for her if that’s what it takes for her to see that she’s it for me.

“Yeah? Well, that’s not what it looked like from where I was standing,” she whispers. I’m not sure if the words were meant for me, but I’m going to reply.

“It was a hug and peck on the lips from a friend…that’s it. There was nothing sexual about it, I swear.” She’s got to see it like it is. She just has to. I can’t lose her, not over something so fucking stupid.

She doesn’t answer me, but now instead of throwing shit around the room, she’s found her bag she brought all her stuff here with and is now throwing all her clothes into it. I panic.

“Come on, baby. You have to believe me. Please, Rose,” I beg.

Stopping what she’s doing, she looks up at me and her face is void of all emotion for a few seconds before I see the saddest look I’ve ever seen on anyone’s face. “I’m sorry, I just can’t,” she says. She falls down to the floor, then sits there with her face in her hands and cries.

I want to go to her, comfort her, but I don’t know how or even if it will help. It fuckin’ destroys me that she doesn’t believe in me―in us. I could deal with her being angry and even yelling and throwin’ shit around, but the fact that she doesn’t trust me? It’s devastating.

“I’m sorry, Michael. I wish I could believe what you say is true, and maybe I do in a way, but this just isn’t going to work. Shit, maybe we were doomed from the very beginning. But this—what we had—is no more. I can’t do this with you. We’re not a good fit for each other. I’m sorry,” she says. I hate that those words are coming out of her mouth. We are a good fit for each other, I know it. I can fuckin’ feel it. Why can’t she see that?