Owning Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC Series Book 4) (15 page)

“I’m leaving. Going to go home and try to get my head straight. Maybe when things settle down and the fog in my head is gone I’ll see things differently, but please, just give me space, okay?”

No, it’s not fucking okay, but what the hell can I do? She’s already made up her mind. Shit, maybe she had her mind made up before she saw me and Kat…who the fuck knows? What I do know is that she’s leaving, possibly for good, and she’s taking a piece of me with her. I feel dead inside, numb.

“You’re making a mistake,” is all I say. They’re the only words I can come up with.

Sighing, she stands up with her bag over her shoulder. “Maybe. But it’s my mistake to make,” she says, then walks toward me and stops in front of me. “I’m sorry, Mack.” Then she’s out the door.

When it closes softly behind her, it’s like the door to my whole world has slammed in my face. Everything I had, everything I wanted or needed, just walked out on me. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

I don’t know how long I stand in that one spot in my room, feeling numb and desolate, but I finally get feeling into my body. Throwing open the door, I rush out into the bar to see if I can stop Rose, but she’s already gone.

Maybe she was right and she needs some time away from everything to get her head around what we are and what she wants, but I need to know she’s all right.

“Prospect!” I yell, waiting for him to come running.

“Yes, Prez?” he asks, rushing up to me, eager to do whatever it is I tell him.

“Rose left. I need you to catch up to her and follow her wherever she goes. Update me on anything that goes on or if she leaves anywhere, but do not engage her. I don’t want her to know you’re there,” I order in a commanding voice.

“Yes, sir,” the prospect replies and he scurries on his way.

There’s really nothing else I can do but wait; wait to hear from her or wait to hear from the prospect. Either way, I fear that Rose leaving is more final than I originally thought. It may just kill me in the end.

***

I’ve been sitting at the bar nursing a bottle of beer when Jax comes up and sits beside me. “Everything okay, Prez?”

I nod my head, then shake it no. He’s probably thinking I’m insane, but right now, I pretty much am. I’m insane with worry, I’m insane with anger, and I’m insane with feeling the loss of Rose.

“Not really, brother,” I tell him. I hate how I’m feeling but don’t have a clue as to what I’m supposed to do about it. I tried talking to Rose and calming her worries, but she didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to see what is plainly in front her, and that’s me. I’m broken and surrendering to her because that’s what she does to me; she brings me to my knees with everything she makes me feel for her. I think I may actually love her. But it’s pretty fucking obvious she doesn’t feel the same way.

“Rose left. Thought I was running around with Kat behind her back,” I explain because maybe he can shed some light on what I should do now. I’m pissed that she left me and didn’t believe me, but I’m pissed at myself more because I wasn’t enough for her. I wasn’t worthy of her trust, her love.

“You love her?” he asks, picking the words right out of my mind. Do I love her?

“I can’t be sure, but I think I do. She makes me want to be a better man; for her and for the club. She makes me happy. I feel more alive with her than I think I have ever felt in my whole life.” There’s so much more I could say about Rose and the way she makes me feel, but I can’t put them into words. She’s simply everything to me.

Jax is quiet for a moment. I’m not sure if he’s thinking about what I said, or something else. I’ve never been one to really ask for advice, because I haven’t really had anything important enough to ask for. Until Rose.

I’m not trying to sound like I’m a know it all, but I’ve never been in a situation where I needed it. I’m usually the one people look to be the voice of reason or give advice. So if Jax has anything to add or has any idea of what I should do, I’m open to suggestions.

“I’ve been around you guys for a while and I’ve seen a lot in that time. I’ve kept my mouth shut about a few things because my input wasn’t needed, and I thought you’d all figure it out,” Jax says, but waits until I look at him to continue. “And I don’t mean any disrespect to you, Prez, but you ain’t figured it out yet.”

I can’t help but get angry. “You don’t think I fuckin’ know that, Jax?” I yell.

Sighing, he’s the one to look away now. “I think there’s something going on with her, or she’s afraid of something. It was weird, but when I picked her up from her apartment that night she came here, she wanted me to go up with her to help carry stuff down. I didn’t think anything of it, but she was kind of skittish. Once we got up to her apartment, she seemed relieved to not find anyone there or whatever she was scared of,” he says, then looks at me finally. “While she went into her room to pack her stuff, I did a search around her house. I didn’t find anything, and I mean anything. No little knickknacks that chicks usually like to have around. No pictures of family or friends. Of course that could just mean she either doesn’t have any family, or maybe she’s just too busy being a nurse to decorate, I don’t know, but I found it odd. Then when she came back out, packed and ready to go, she only had the one bag. Not the amount she said she’d needed me for. It’s like she wanted protection from something.”

It makes me upset that he’s just now telling me this, but I’m sure he had his reasons. Did Rose tell him not to say anything? Did she tell him what she’s scared of?

“Why are you telling me this now and not when it happened?”

“I wasn’t one hundred percent certain, ya know? So I watched her, and she seemed better once she got here. I didn’t see any trace of her being scared, so I let it go. Maybe I shouldn’t have or maybe I should have just told you, but I didn’t know what to do, brother.” I can’t fault him for not telling me because I didn’t even notice what was going on. But now that he mentions it, I can see that maybe that’s why she’s been so off the last few days. Did something happen while she and the girls were at the mall?

“It’s okay, brother. I get it. You did the right thing,” I tell him, trying to ease his guilt for not saying anything.

Smiling a little, he nods. “Well, I do have to say one more thing.”

Laughing, I say, “Of course you do.”

“You may not know that you love her, Prez, but I do. I see the way you are around her, the way you look at her, and even the way you talk about her. You love her. And I’m not sure what happened or why she left, but if I were you, I’d go after her.”

I think about what he said. Do I love her? I love being around her and I love the way she makes me feel. And I know I didn’t want her to leave…that much is for certain. Then it hits me; Jax is right. I do love her.

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” I ask, afraid that if I do go after her, she’ll get angry and I’ll lose her all over again.

“She does. She looks at you the same way, Mack. She follows you with her eyes and smiles to herself when she thinks no one is looking. And I think maybe the reason I saw the change in her since she got here is because of you. She feels safe and protected with you. She loves you, just as sure as Dani loves Blaze, Sara loves Toby, and Harlow loves Louie.”

With a new drive of determination, I get up to go after my girl. My phone rings, so I grab it off the bar and talk as I make my way to the door, but the words stop me dead in my tracks.

It’s the prospect and he doesn’t sound good. “Prez,” he says, in pain. “It’s Rose. She’s in trouble. It’s the Kin—” There’s a loud gunshot and then there’s nothing but silence.

Chapter Fourteen

Rose

After leaving the clubhouse, I’m a wreck. I hated to see the look of defeat and pain on Michael’s face. I lied when I said I don’t trust him, but I had to do something. What we’re doing isn’t going to work, mainly because I can’t be honest with him. He’s the one that shouldn’t trust me.

I was on my way to look for Michael, to tell him I was leaving, that we weren’t a good match. I put him through hell the past few days with the way I’ve been acting, but I didn’t know what else to do. At the mall, it became too real that the life I live isn’t something that lets me have a normal life. I can’t love someone and bring them into the danger zone with me, because that’s what it would be. Anthony is still out there and eventually he will find me. And then what I thought happened at the mall will
actually
happen. And I won’t risk that. I won’t risk the people who have come to mean so much to me.

So when I saw him with that woman, yeah, I was jealous, but I knew he wasn’t going behind my back to be with her. And when he explained what was going on, I believed him. But it helped me in my case that we weren’t good for one another and that I was leaving. It gave me the perfect excuse so I wouldn’t have to tell him the truth. I know that makes me the worst person in the world, but when you’re desperate, you’ll do just about anything.

I’m not proud of what I did, but it’s done now and there’s nothing I can do to change it. The only thing I can do now is go home, pack my things, and leave for good. Get as far away from here as I possibly can and never look back. I should have done it when I planned to do it, instead of taking on the job of caring for Michael, but I’m glad I didn’t. It gave me that time with him and his family, and I’ll treasure it for the rest of my life. That’s all I’ll have to sustain me―memories.

It seems to take forever to get back to my apartment, but I finally pull into my parking space. It’s getting dark, but I don’t mind. It fits my mood perfectly. Actually, I think every day for the rest of eternity should be dark, rainy, and gloomy. Maybe it would make me feel better about my situation and who I left behind. Well, probably not, but I deserve to be unhappy and remember that I lied and left them.

Getting out of my car, I don’t even bother to grab my bag because I’ll be coming right back out with the rest of my stuff. I didn’t even really need to come back, but I want to do another look around and grab a few things. I won’t be back so I don’t want to leave anything behind that is either embarrassing or that I’d miss. It’s probably not much though.

I’m fishing out my keys and am almost to the door that leads to my apartment when I hear a sound behind me. It’s a bike. Did Michael come after me or did he send someone to come and get me? I don’t think Michael can ride his bike yet, so if I had to guess, it’s one of his brothers, or maybe the prospect.

I hear the bike come to a screeching halt behind me, so I turn around, exasperated that I was followed, but when I finally turn around, I’m met with chilling eyes that are terrifying, yet familiar.

Gasping in shock, I try to turn around and run away, but I’m rooted to the spot. I can’t move. My muscles are frozen and they’re not allowing me the escape I so desperately need right now.

“Well, hello, sister dearest,” my brother, Anthony, says in a mockingly sweet voice. I know it’s just a mirage. He’s anything but sweet.

“A-Anthony. W-What are you d-doing here?” I ask, my eyes jumping around, trying to find an exit or help, but they come up empty.

“Well, my dear sister, I’ve come to retrieve you. See, I’ve made a deal and it’s time to pay up,” he says. The façade he only moments ago was using with a sweet voice is starting to fade and my real brother is coming out now. This is Brutus, a member of the Street Kings MC.

Not really sure what he’s talking about, but knowing I won’t like it, I try to stall him by keeping him talking. I don’t want to know what it is he’s done and what deal he’s made—or what’s more, what the payment is and what it has to do with me—but if it will give me more time to figure out what I’m going to do or how I’m going to get away, I’ll do it.

“What deal?” I ask, this time a little more smoothly, but still scared out of my mind. I know this man in front of me is dangerous. It doesn’t matter if I’m his sister or not―he’d kill me if it benefited him.

“I’ve been promoted to Vice President. But in order to do that, I had to give my president something. And there was only one thing he wanted. You,” he says, stepping closer.

Finally, my muscles allow me to retreat, but it’s not fast enough. He reaches out and wraps his large hand around my bicep. It’s painful, and even though I know crying out will do nothing to stop him, I do it anyway. I can’t help it, the pain in my arm is almost as bad as when I broke my leg when I was ten. Well, actually, I didn’t break my leg. He did. My brother.

We were at the park playing, and he thought it would be funny to push me off of the monkey bars. I was so frail from barely eating at home that when I landed on my leg wrong, it snapped right in two. I was lucky the bone didn’t protrude out of the skin and that there was a nice family close by that called the ambulance right away.

Anthony went with me, saying he was concerned about his little sister, but it was all a farce. He really just wanted to make sure I kept my mouth shut, which I of course did. I was too scared not to. I just told the doctors that I fell and that my brother tried to save me, but it all had happened too fast. They of course believed me and I was sent home after they set my leg and put me in a cast.

“Gutter has had a thing for you for years. He’s even followed you around and placed cameras in your apartment. Sick bastard probably even sniffed your panties,” he says, laughing like it’s the funniest thing in the world.

I feel sick to my stomach and scared to death. I’ve been stalked and spied on for years? By some pervert who has been in my home! I can’t believe this. And now, my own flesh and blood has auctioned me off to this guy for a promotion? I can’t fucking believe this.

“Anyway, he came to me a few months ago and said he’d give me the title of vice president and make sure I take control of the club when he’s gone if I brought you to him. I, of course, had no quarrels about that, sis, but I do want to thank you for your help in my promotion. Guess it was a good thing I didn’t kill you all those times when we were little, because you’ve turned out to be very useful to me.”

He laughs like not killing me all those years ago is the funniest thing he’s ever heard. If I didn’t know it before, I do now; my brother is a soulless monster.

“And as it turned out, you’re even more important now than you were when I first made the deal.”

I don’t see how that’s possible, though. What is different now than before? But then it dawns on me. Michael.

“Ah, I see you’ve connected the dots. I guess you are smarter than I thought―just not smart enough,” he says, then starts dragging me toward his bike and away from my freedom.

Knowing that I’m going to play a part in hurting Michael and his club, I fight. I can’t let him do this to the people I have grown to love. “I will not go with you, Anthony! You can’t do this,” I yell and pull with all my strength to get him to stop, but it’s no use.

Anthony stops and backhands me, making me drop to the ground. I forgot how much his hits hurt, but I’ll suffer hundreds of his heated blows if it means Michael and his family will be safe.

“What are you going to do to them?” I need to know what he has planned. Maybe I can talk him out of it.

“Ah, I’m so glad you asked, sis. You see, we’ve been looking for a way to hurt the Sinners ever since they killed our brother, Titus. But not only that, we want them gone, extinct. Their time to rule this state is over. It’s time for The Street Kings to take their rightful place on the throne.”

I don’t know what he’s talking about with this Titus guy, but if he’s right and the Sinners did kill him, he probably deserved it. They wouldn’t kill someone for the fun of it or because they wanted to make a point. No, they would only do it if he was an evil man, which seeing what club he belonged to, he had to have been evil.

“Leave them alone,” I say weakly, unable to put much venom behind the words. My face hurts along with my heart.

Anthony grins devilishly. “And if we don’t? What are you going to do about it?”

I may not be able to physically save Michael and his club, but I can do something. “I’ll give myself to your president willingly. I’ll do anything he wants. I won’t fight him and I won’t try to run. I’ll be his. I promise. Just don’t hurt them,” I plead.

Suddenly, I hear another motorcycle, and I fear it’s more men from my brother’s gang. But if I’m going to save the ones I care about, I better get used to them. It doesn’t matter what happens to me as long as they are okay. Shit is going to get worse than it is now. My brother’s president, Gutter, is most likely pure evil. He’s got to be if he keeps company with my brother. Plus, I’ve seen a few of them in action and heard all the rumors. These men are bad fuckin’ news and I’d bet money on it that Gutter is probably the worst of them all.

“Hey! Get your fuckin’ hands off of her,” I hear, and I instantly know who it is. It’s the prospect from the Forsaken Sinners. Michael sent someone for me after all. I almost smile, but know this isn’t over yet. My brother is not a man to mess with and I fear the prospect will suffer for trying to save me. I need him to leave before that happens. It’s too late for me, but not for him.

My brother starts to laugh as he steps toward the prospect. My god, I don’t even know his name, but here he is, trying to save me.

My brother’s chilling voice brings me back to what’s happening. “Who the hell are you?” He’s a few feet away from the prospect but still close enough to hurt him.

“Leave him alone, Anthony. I said I’d go with you, just don’t hurt him or anyone else in the club,” I demand with steel in my voice.

But of course my luck is shit. Anthony doesn’t pay me any attention and he continues staring down the prospect.

“Leave him alone. It’s me you want,” I try again to get my brother’s attention, but it’s no use. He doesn’t see me as a threat.

Looking around, I try to find anything I can use to distract him or hurt him, but I’m not finding anything. There are no rocks, or anything else I could use. But then I remember the keys I’m still holding.

Tightening my grip on them for a second, I look down and place the biggest key between my pointer and middle finger while holding the rest tightly in my fist. It probably won’t do a lot of damage but hopefully it will be enough for the prospect to get away. I can only hope that the rest of them stay away so no one else gets hurt because of me. I know it will be hard for Michael, but he’s got to know this is the best option.

Charging forward, I scream, “Ahhh!” and as soon as Anthony looks at what I’m yelling about, I punch him right in the face with my key weapon fist.

“Fuck,” he roars, holding his cheek while staring daggers at me. When he removes his hand, I see a long gash on his right cheek and it’s bleeding bad. Shit, this worked better than I expected.

Anthony starts to come after me, but before he can reach me, the prospect is moving to my rescue. “No!” I yell, trying to get him to save himself, but he either doesn’t hear me or he just doesn’t care.

He jumps on my brother’s back and they begin to fight. I have a hard time keeping up with them and I don’t have any idea who’s winning until my brother lands a solid blow to the prospect’s face and he’s down on the ground.

He’s not dead or even unconscious, but he’s hurt, that much I can tell. I don’t know if the wind was knocked out of him or if a bone was broken, but he’s not breathing right and he’s in a lot of pain. I’m not sure if there’s any blood because it’s too dark, but I know if I don’t do something soon, he’s going to die.

Looking back to my brother, I see him pull something out of his cut. It’s a gun and he’s now aiming it right at the prospect.

Not even thinking, I rush forward and grab a hold of the arm that the gun is in, which causes a shot to ring out. I just hope it didn’t hit its intended target, but I can’t stop to look because I’m too busy grappling with my brother. Or more like being tossed around like a rag doll.

“I won’t let you hurt him,” I yell, trying everything I can to keep Anthony from getting his hands on me but also to keep him away from the prospect, who may or may not still be alive.

I hear a low moan and then the prospect talking, but I’m not sure who he’s talking to. I can’t make out the words. The only thing I know for a fact is I heard my name.

Turning around, I try to see what he’s doing or what he’s saying, but that was a mistake. As soon as my attention is diverted, my brother punches me in the face, which causes me to fall down to the ground.

My head hurts like a bitch and everything seems fuzzy, but I try like hell to keep my eyes open. If I don’t pass out or die from a brain bleed, maybe I can still keep my brother’s attention on me long enough for the prospect to get away. I just hope he takes the chance this time and not try to save me again. I’m already doomed for a fate worse than death, but the prospect doesn’t have to suffer with me.