Packed and Ready to Go (34 page)

“
Not a problem. You can use the room for as long as you want.”

“
I’ll be gone by Christmas. I don’t want to wear out my welcome.”

He took a step forward. “I wish you would.” The fire behind his eyes made me want to rush into his arms, but being half naked I didn’t dare move.

***

My life was about to change. The thought didn’t scare me like it had in the past. I stuck the key in the lock, opened the front door, and stepped into the house. It was exactly the way I’d left it, but it seemed lifeless.

In the kitchen I poured myself a glass of orange juice, and dialed Carla.

“
I’ve been waiting on you to call. Can I come over? I got someone to sub for my spinning class so I can spend the whole day with you.”

“
I’ll leave the door unlocked. When you get here, come up to the bedroom.”

I hung up and opened the refrigerator. There were leftovers from the wedding breakfast and a huge hunk of wedding cake. After more than a week, the breakfast leftovers had to be scrapped. I wrapped the cake, then placed it in the freezer.

Seated at the kitchen table, I nibbled dry toast and stared at the blinking message light. Walter, no doubt. But I ignored it. There was so much I needed to get done and he would just have to wait, maybe for the rest of my life.

Crystal would have to be told, and so would my mother. The thought of those conversations made my heart race. Instead of reaching for the extra bottle of pills I stored in the cabinet, I poured a glass of water, then dialed my mother’s number. Thankfully, Crystal was away, it gave me a few more days to figure out how to tell her.

“
Tracy, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you,” my mother said. “It’s been a few days.”

“
I’m sorry. Is everything okay?”

“
I’m doing the best I can. Sometimes I’ll see something or hear something and think I have to share that with Carl, and then I remember—” She stopped. I heard her fight back a sob. “I’m selling the house. I’ve been here for over fifty years, but they were all with your dad.

I imagined her sitting at her kitchen table with her coffee cup. My guilt for not visiting her for several days rested on my chest, but I hadn’t been frolicking around having fun.

“
Mom, I’m leaving Walter,” I said.

“
What?”

“
It’s a long story. I promise to tell you all about it. But for now, all I can say is my marriage is over.”

For a long moment neither of us said anything.

Then with a sharp intake of air, my mother said, “You know best. You’ve never been impulsive. You know you two looked so content and happy at the wedding that I thought things were getting better. Well...” I could tell she was having difficulty compartmentalizing the information. I wished there was some way I could have spared her this disappointment, too.

“
You need me to come down there?”

“
You’re sweet, but no. I’ll be okay. I’ll come up before the end of the week and tell you all about it.”

“
Does Crystal know?” she asked.

“
No.”

“
That poor girl goes away on a honeymoon and comes back to a totally different world.”

“
This wasn’t part of my planning. But Crystal will be fine. You and I will see to it.”

I hung up and pushed out of the chair. In the garage I found the box of extra-large trash bags and carried them under my arms as I managed the stairs. I went straight to Walter’s closet and pulled his starched white shirts from the hangers and stuffed them into one of the bags.

I ignored the cell phone when it rang. When the house phone rang, I let it to go to the recorder. I continued stuffing his clothes into the trash bags. Each handful I shoved in the bag shored up my resolve. For once, I was doing something instead of having something done to me.

My body ached, but I refused to take a pain reliever. By the time Carla walked into the bedroom, I had eleven bags lined against the wall.

“
Girl, what are you doing?” Carla looked around the room, her hands on her hips.

“
Something I should have done the very first time he cheated on me.”

“
Girl, please let me help.” Carla threw her purse on the bed.

“
Those are his drawers, just take everything out and put it in a bag. When that’s empty, just move to the next one.”

“
All right, this is up my alley.” Carla yanked Walter’s underwear out of the dresser and shoved them into the bag like she was trying to win an Olympic medal. She made me laugh.

The sound of rustling bags filled the room for thirty minutes. We used hand signals to indicate where we could find more of his belongings. When the bags were all gone, we fell on the bed to catch our breath.

“
Now what? Should we drag this shit outside and burn it in the driveway ‘Waiting to Exhale’ style?”

“
No, Carla. I’m going to call someone to pick all his stuff up and take it to his new home. If I give him absolutely everything, then he will have no reason to come back to this house or near me.”

The phone rang again. “Want me to get that for you?”

“
No, let the recorder get it. Walter’s been calling all morning. But Carla…I’m telling you, I don’t want to see him and I don’t want to talk to him.” I put my hands behind my head and crossed my feet at the ankles.

“
What will my life look like once I’m divorced?”

“
You’ll go back to being that fun person I met in college. The girl who laughed a lot and smiled all the time.” She cradled her head in her hand, too.

“
I didn’t stay here last night. I stayed at Marco’s.”

“
Marco’s house?” Carla turned over on her stomach, her mouth slightly opened. “You barely get one man out of your life and you invite another one in?”

“
It wasn’t like that, Carla. I just couldn’t stay here. I’m not sure I’ll ever spend another night in this house. Ursula’s in Philly, you and Javier are busy. Besides, could you really say Walter was in my life? I think I was hanging on to the fringes of his life.”

“
Girl, you know I’m always there for you no matter what.” She reached across the bed and touched my hand.

My eyes locked with hers. “How are you doing, Carla?” I hoped she knew I was asking about the whole baby business.

Her mouth opened like trying to form an answer to my question was exhausting. I wanted to retract the question, but it lingered between us.

“
I’m trying to accept the idea that maybe it won’t happen. And even though he’s been very supportive and would never say otherwise, I’m sure when Javier thinks I’m not paying attention he has a sad, distant look in his eye.”

I squeezed her hand and wondered if it was the same look I saw in her eyes.

I climbed off the bed. “It’s time to change the scenery. Ready to hit his office? I’m sure we’ll find lots of good incriminating stuff down there.”

“
Yeah, you’re calling the shots and I’m your girl.” She jumped off the bed and any traces of sadness fell away. “There may be some stuff you want to hold on to. It could be useful if he decides to act crazy later on.”

I snapped my fingers. “Good idea.” I nodded remembering the cell phone bills I found in his desk drawer. “Very good idea.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight – Tracy

“
I think I hate this house.” We made our way to Walter’s office. Everything was neatly organized and pristine, except for the paper I’d scattered on the floor the night before.

“
Will you be able to live here, you know…after? Carla asked.

“
When I first saw this house, I begged Walter to buy it because I loved it so much…”

“
Where should we start?” Carla glanced around the immaculate space.

“
I’ll take this bottom drawer. The important stuff is in here. You take the rest.

I found enough evidence to indict Walter for being a lousy husband.

Receipts for expensive jewelry I never received.

Hotel bills for rooms I never stayed in.

Statements for an investment account I knew nothing about.

His betrayal ran deep, and I’d allowed him free range to lie to me. With a hefty sum.

“
Have you told Ms. Frances or Crystal what you’re planning?” Carla heaved a sandwich bag full of pen refills into the trashcan.

“
I told Mom today. I’ll tell Crystal when she gets home. I haven’t spoken to Ursula since I left the hospital. So when you get home tonight, before you jump Javier’s bones, call her and tell her.”

“
I’m on it.” Carla laughed.

“
My body’s screaming for a rest.”

“
Okay, I’ll get us something to drink.”

“
Water for me,” I said.

In the family room, Carla sipped wine. I drank water.

The house phone rang again.

“
Sooner or later, you’re going to have to talk with Walter. He’s been blowing up your phone all day. Get it over with.” Carla held the receiver out to me.

“
I’m not ready yet. I’m still so angry and can’t say anything constructive. This anger gives me an edge and I like it.”

“
Let me tell him to stop calling, it’s driving me crazy.”

When the phone stopped ringing, Carla hit the message play button. “Let’s hear what he’s got to say, the poor bastard.” She depressed the speaker button and Walter’s voice permeated the room.

“
Tracy, I know you’re upset and you have every right to be. But baby, we can get past this.”

“
Did he call me baby?” I whispered.

Carla put her index finger to her lips to quiet me.

“
I know I messed up pretty bad this time, but I love you. I really love you and I know you need a little time to calm down. Listen, I’m going to my office tonight, so please call me there. I’m sorry, Tracy…I never meant for things to get this far. Baby, I can make this up to you. I’ll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. Give me a chance.”

The phone beeped, cutting him off. I sat back against the sofa and laced my fingers together.

Walter’s third message played. “Tracy, if you’re there please pick up. We can talk about this. It’s not what you think. Let me come home. I’ll be different, you’ll see. Think about what this will do to Crystal.”

“
That sucker hasn’t talked that nice to me in probably five or six years. I don’t believe he called me baby. You know, if he was here right now I’d gash his eyes out.”

“
No, you wouldn’t, Tracy. You’re not like that.” She sat next to me and placed her hand on my back. “You’ve got to have faith in what you’re doing.”

“
I know I’m doing the right thing, but it doesn’t lessen my anger.”

My cell phone rang. I expelled a heavy sigh. The ringing phones exhausted me. Carla picked up my cell phone and glanced at it quickly then handed it to me. “It’s Marco,”
she sang.

“
How’s it going?” His smooth baritone voice eased my tension. I flipped my hand at Carla, but she refused to leave the room.

“
Hey. Carla and I are cleaning house.”

“
Are you ready for me to pick you up?”

“
I’ll drive over to your place this evening. I need my car.” I stretched my legs out in front of me.

“
How ’bout dinner tonight?”

“
I…um…okay. I guess we can,” I stuttered. “Sooner or later I have to go out in public.”

“
Is that the only reason you’re saying yes?” he asked.

“
Certainly not. I’d love to have dinner with you,” I replied.

“
Good. You have the key I gave you. I’ll be there at six.”