Pan's Salvation (6 page)

“You sound like you speak from experience.”

“I am.” His expression grew shuttered and his voice went flat. “What’s your answer Lark?

Are you ready to let go and be free, or are you going to remain chained to your past?”

This man was temptation. A shiny ripe red apple. She longed to sink her teeth in, sample the juices and enjoy every morsel. Her heart pounded in her chest. Sweat slicked her palms. He had resources she didn’t. A whole gang of people with power, money and numbers. More than

anything, he could relieve the endless sea of loneliness she’d been swimming in. Like Eve before her, she took the bait. The words stuck in her throat. She wrestled with the connection from her brain to her vocal chords. Giving in and rolling over wasn’t in her, but her breaking point was near, along with the water level rapidly rising. She was in over her head on this one. She couldn’t help Robin if she were drowning. She took a deep breath and let the words roll out on an exhale,

“I’m ready to let go.”

Pan leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Good girl. Let’s get to work.”

It was a gamble.
I’m sorry, Robin. I can’t do this on my own anymore.
Guilt assuaged her as she deferred to the man she knew would change her life forever. As Robin hit a downward spiral, she was making the choice to actually live.

Pan hung up the phone and turned to the anxiety-ridden woman pacing the room. “They’ll

take your 50,000. They want it in small bills and they want it by the end of the week.”

“Wait—just like that?” she whispered.

He nodded. It made him antsy.
Why would they be so happy to be rid of her?
Chances were she was in bad shape. He wouldn’t voice his thoughts to Lark, but he could tell by the look on her face, she’d thought of it all on her own.

The silence in the hotel room rippled with a painful vibe.

“Okay. Then I guess. I–I’d better call the bank and make the arrangements to clear out my account.”

“Tomorrow,” he said gently.

“What?” she asked clearly dazed.

“You’ll call them tomorrow. It’s too late to do it now.”

“Yeah. Of course.” She nodded. “I’ll just, have a seat.” She sunk down on the edge of her bed.

“You know what? We’re not going to do this. Get up.”

“What? Why?” Her brows came together.

“Now. We’re not going to sit in here like we’re at a wake. You got a dress. I need drinks and a good time. We’re going out.”

“We can’t.”

“Says who?”

‘I…” She opened and closed her mouth.

“Exactly,” he purred.

A number of emotions chased their way across her face.

“You aren’t betraying her by being happy, Lark.”

Her mouth formed an O.

Pan couldn’t help but think about her plump lips wrapped around his cock. Desire rose like a fire set to dried wood. “Yeah, I know what I’m talking about. This is part of you…coming first.”

“Why do you care?” she yelled the repeated question as she stood.

Her height might intimidate others, but it did nothing for him. If she thought it would make him back off, she still didn’t understand who she was dealing with. “I told you. There’s something in it I want.”

“What’s that?”

“You.”

Tension filled the air like a storm front that came in unexpectedly. She squirmed.

He watched the muscles in her legs flex as she moved around on her heels.

“What does that mean?”

“What do you think it means?” He arched a brow.

“I-I don’t know.” She placed a hand on her throat.

He tsked. “What did I tell you about lying?”

“I’m not.”

“No? Then let me clarify. I want you in my bed, against the wall, on the counter. Anywhere as long as you’re on my dick, screaming my name and begging me to satisfy you.” He trailed the backs of his fingers down her face. She was soft and warm. Her delicate features tugged at his heart. He’d never say she came off as weak, yet she raised some caveman instinct inside of him.

He wanted to protect her from herself, maybe because he couldn’t do the same for himself.
What
the hell is it about this woman that makes me act so out of character? Maybe it’s just easier to
deal with her problem
s.
Then I don’t have to look at my own.
“What do you think about that, Lark?” His voice echoed deep and husky. His dick strained against his fly.

“I think you’re making a lot of assumptions.”

He smirked and ran his thumb across her lips. “We both know it’s not if, but
when
.”

Her lids lowered to half-mast. Her nipples stood out against the thin material of the dress.

“Your body knows the truth.”

“That’s a biological response.”

“Bullshit, babe. You don’t believe that anymore than I do. Enough.” He lowered his hands down to his sides. “We’ve got somewhere to be.” He placed a hand on the small of her back and steered her to the door. She didn’t protest and a comfortable silence fell between them. As they traveled to his bike, he imagined they looked like a couple down for a vacation. The thought pleased him more than it should. It would be nice not to feel like his brother had everything. Like their lives had inverted and now, he was the sad pathetic twin, with a drinking problem to boot.

They climbed onto his bike and he ran his palms over the flesh her lifted dress revealed. She shuddered. They played a dangerous game. Eventually, he was going to cut the bullshit and take her the way he’d been dying to. He started the bike.

Lark wrapped her long legs around his hips and molded her body to his back.

Pan pulled off, counting on the wind to cool the heat coursing through his body. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d given a shit about a woman. It wasn’t his style and most of the girls who frequented the clubhouse weren’t old lady material. He rode into town and stopped at a lively Cantina. Top-twenty pop spilled out of the front door. Lamps lit up the front patio area.

Couples crowded in the square tables.

He parked his bike and held out his hand to help her off her bike, so she wouldn’t flash anyone. The only person looking up her dress would be him.

“What are we doing here?”

“Having a few drinks and taking our mind off tomorrow.”

“How do you expect me to do that?”

“Like this.” He cupped the back of her neck, pulled her to him and connected their lips. Jolts of current dam near electrified him. It was the closest he’d ever come to experiencing the fireworks phenomenon. They tilted their heads, deepening the kiss as they explored each other’s mouths. Sweet and refreshing, she was his new favorite dessert. He wrapped his arms around her and cupped her firm ass. His cock did its best to salute.

She moaned and rocked her hips against him.

Pan grinned against her lips and pulled back.
It’s mutual.
“Come on, let’s go have that drink.”

Pressed against his side, she walked beside him with no protest. The kiss changed

everything. Kisses weren’t about pleasure as much as they were about the expression of

emotions. Along the way, they’d connected and formed a relationship.

Common sense said he should be scared shitless. Only, this felt natural, like slipping into a worn pair of blue jeans. They wove their way through the crowd to the bar. He pulled out a high back stool and she climbed up. He nodded to the petite bartender with coal black hair, brown eyes and an easy smile.

“Hola Senor. How can I help you?”

“Dos cervesas, in a bottle, por favor.”

“Si.” She smiled.

Lark turned to him. “Now what?”

The waitress returned and set down two frosty green bottles.

“Now, we drink.” He offered her a salute and tipped back the bottle.

She watched him through narrowed eyes.

Pan slammed the bottle on the bar. “Your turn.”

Lark lifted the bottle to her lips and took a sip.

“Good.” He remained quiet, allowing her to soak in the atmosphere as they drank their beer.

College kids dominated the dance floor behind them. Locals sat on barstools and watched the display of youthful rebellion. He smirked. “I was like them once, out to have a good time and get drunk.”

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah, wasn’t everyone who lives this close to the border?” He arched a brow. “What about you?”

“Me?” She snickered. “I wasn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m very careful about what I consume and how much. Addiction is a curse that

poisons a bloodline. It lurks in your DNA, waiting to be activated by your object of ruin.” She swirled the bottle. Her face looked thoughtful while her eyes reflected a soul much older.

“How old are you?”

“Don’t you know? I mean I’m sure you’ve gone through all of my things.”

“That’s not the point. I want you to tell me about yourself.”

“Why are you still pretending any of this is normal?”

“Would you rather we stay in the room, so you can eat up the carpet with your heels, wring your hands and torture yourself with an overactive imagination.”

“And this is better? Playing dress up and sitting at a bar like we don’t have a care in the world?”

He drained the rest of his beer in one gulp and gestured for another drink from the waitress.

“You that worried about your age?”

“Thirty-five.”

“And what do you do for a living?”

“What do you do?”

“I work in a shop fixing motorcycles, rebuilding them from the ground up. You name it, I can do it.”

She tilted her head. “I think there’s a lot more you have your hands into.”

“What you don’t know can’t get you hurt.” He winked.

“Point taken. I work in retail. I grab hold of whatever upper management job I can get, bust my ass, save my pennies and always leave in good standing.”

“That what you wanted?”

“That’s what I got.”

“Not what I asked you.”

Lark took a long swallow of her beer. “I thought we were supposed to be having fun?”

“Touché.” The bartender returned with his beer to keep the demon at bay. The only thing he wanted to suck dry was her. He took a healthy swig and waited.

“I like music. Every era, every genre. It fascinates me how people can tell a story so

poignant you believe they must understand what you’re going through. When all else fails, music has been there to save my ass and keep me sane. I have a vast collection of vinyl records. To me, they always sound better. There’s a purity to them that’s been lost in the digital age.”

The passion in her voice intrigued him. “So, why didn’t you do something with music?”

“I tried for a while. I saved up, got some decent equipment and started Djing. I worked my way from the ground up. After a while, I made a little bit of a name for myself.” The happiness in her voice and the expression of pure bliss on her face changed her.

“You loved it.”

She laughed. “Yeah, I did. The money was shit, the hours were long and put me at odds with everyone else I knew, but…when I was up there watching everyone dance to the music I wove, it was fucking magic.”

“So, what happened?”

Her face clouded over. Her eyes went flat. “Robin. I was letting her stay with me for a while. She’d been clean for six months, got a job at a local dinner and damn, I was hopeful, you know? An old friend showed up at work, one thing led to another and she was off the wagon.

Our hours were completely opposite, so I didn’t notice until I came home from working a shift at the boutique where I worked part time and found everything gone.”

“What the fuck?” he whispered.

“The place was ransacked. I called the cops. They wrote it off as a robbery. I made the report and jumped through all their hoops. Then I came home and started the clean-up process. I was broken, but not out for the count. My thoughts were on rebuilding. I’m not the type of girl who lies down and takes it. I’m sure you figured that out on your own.”

He laughed. “I read that loud and clear.”

“I was feeling like a Phoenix about to rise from the ashes when it hit me. Robin hadn’t been around all day. It—it broke something inside me, knowing she could destroy the one thing I loved.”

“Why didn’t you cut ties?”

“Because I didn’t want to be like my mother. I refused to abandon her, or allow her to sink any deeper into the hole she’d begun to dig for herself. So. I-I tracked her down and I spent my nest egg, placing her in one of the top rehabilitation centers. She got clean, apologized and for a long while, we were happy.”

“How did you go from there to here?”

“A man, if that’s what you want to call him. I think he was the devil himself. He showed up all smiles, lavishing and pampering. He was a businessman, or so he said. He worked in

advertising. He should’ve been good for her. She was head over heels within a month and nothing I said mattered.”

“You didn’t like him?”

“No, he set off alarm bells. He was a little too squeaky clean and far too perfect. From his perfect tan to his blindingly white teeth. I saw something moving behind those blue eyes that made her swoon.” She scowled. “I should’ve pressed her about it and stood my ground. Instead, I watched while he stepped in and separated us, little by little. Hell, part of me felt relieved. Now, she was his problem to look after. Great sister, huh?” She laughed coldly and took another drink.

“Human sister, I think.” He placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Now, you know my sin. Even now, this isn’t about her; it’s about me. My guilt. My need to clean my slate. Because if she dies now? That’s on me. And I—I.” Her voice warbled. “—I can’t handle that.”

“She’s a grown woman who made her decisions, Lark.”

“Yeah well, head versus heart.” She shrugged. “I’d do anything to just forget for one

second—maybe you had the right idea, after all.” She finished off her beer.

With her actions and change in attitude, he knew he’d won.