Paradisal Tragedy (18 page)

Twenty-Three

Annabella woke up wrapped in Travis’s arms. She was still freaking about his declaration from last night. He told her he loved her and she said nothing in return. She was a coward; instead of saying something, she just lay on his chest and said, “Oh.”

How stupid could she be?

He confessed something that was probably really hard for him to say and all she could say was oh. That was the worst response she could have given him, especially after the night he had. She imagined that Travis was disappointed in her for not giving him a real response. She didn’t blame him one bit.

Slowly getting out of her bed, she left him to sleep as the sunlight bounced off his skin. He looked so peaceful. She could watch him sleep forever. He looked relaxed and comforted as she began to softly snore.

“Why are you staring at me?” Travis asked, opening his eyes. His brown hair fell over his face as he rolled over and sat up.

“I was just thinking,” Annabella admitted.

“About what?”

“Travis, I’m sorry,” she said, feeling the emotions ready to consume her.

“For what?” he asked, taking her hands in his.

“You told me you loved me, and I just said
oh
. And I should have said…”

“Stop talking. I’m not going to take back what I said; I meant it. I love you. I think I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you with those beautiful blue eyes, and these pretty little curls.”  He started curling his finger around a strand of her hair. “I didn’t expect you to say it back. Sure, maybe I hoped a little bit, but I don’t want you to say it if you’re not there. I only want you to say it if you mean it.”

“Okay.” Was all she said in response? “What are you doing today?”

“Well first I have to go by my house to shower and change. Then, I was going to drive out to see my dad,” Travis responded as he got out of bed and put his shirt on.

“You’re leaving?” Annabella asked him, disappointment rising inside her.

“Hey, I thought you were coming with me,” he said.

“I didn’t know if you still wanted me to.”

“I meant what I told you last night, sunshine. I can’t do it alone. And I know that sounds selfish with everything you’re dealing with and I’m sorry. I just I need you.”

“It’s not selfish. I want to be here for you Travis. You saved my life, and I want to help you get yours back.”

“I’m scared,” Travis whispered, taking a seat on the futon.

“You are?” she asked. She didn’t know Travis to be afraid of anything.

“I’m terrified. Bella, he hurt me so much. And honestly, I don’t care to have him in my life. I’ve just had enough.”

“I understand, and no matter what you choose to do, I’ll support you one hundred percent. I do have a question though,” Annabella stated as Travis put his shoes back on.

“What is it?”

“Are you going to forgive her? Your mom. I know you don’t want to hear this, but she loves you so much. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but she knew how much you suffered when he left. She probably didn’t want you to blame yourself, and that’s why she kept it from you. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but the least you can do is give her a chance to explain,” Annabella said to him, her tone full of concern.

“I love her, Bella. She’s been my rock for so long, even before he left. I was never the perfect son, hell I was far from it, but she never gave up on me. That being said… She lied to me. The one person I loved the most lied to me. She didn’t trust me with the truth,” Travis said in a disappointed tone. He loved his mother more than anything, he’d die for her if given the chance, but he just couldn’t forgive her, not yet.

“Just think about it. For me. She loves you and she’s hurting too, try and remember that. As much as what she did was wrong, she did it to lessen your suffering. Instead, she suffered alone in that.”

It then dawned on Travis that maybe Annabella was right. He was still nowhere near ready to forgive his mother, but maybe he could sit down and hear her side of things. It was the least he could after all the times she stuck by him, even when he was wrong. She wiped away his tears when he cried, patched up his cuts when he was wounded. That was so much more than he could say for the man that walked out on them four years ago. Travis knew deep down that he wasn’t the only one that this affected; he wasn’t the only one that was hurt in all of this. In fact, his mom was probably the one who suffered the most.

“Did it sink in yet?” Annabella asked.

“How did you know it would?”

“Because I know you. And I know that no matter how hard you try, you won’t stay mad at her because through everything, she was the one parent you could rely on no matter what you did. At the end of the day your mom is the one person you love more than anyone in this life.”

“I think there’s an exception to that,” Travis told her as he pressed his lips on hers.

“Travis, I have to shower and everything before we go,” Annabella told him, not ready to go back to that conversation. She wasn’t ready to discuss the love thing yet. She just started to become herself again, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for love yet. She knew she cared about Travis, but did she love him? Could she possibly be capable of love after everything that happened to her? Well if it was possible, she’d soon find out, right?

“Okay, go on, I’ll be here waiting,” he said.

She grabbed her clothes and locked herself in the bathroom to shower.

***

“I didn’t think you’d be back anytime soon. “ Casey said as she sat on the couch. Annabella decided to give them space, so she went into his room and waited for him. The conversation with his mother was something he needed to have on his own.

“I wasn’t going to, but Bella convinced me that I needed to talk to you; clear the air,” Travis told her. He paced around the room, unable to sit near her.

“I love that girl,” Casey smiled.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Did you not think I could handle it?” Travis asked, cutting to the point.

“I didn’t find out until a few weeks after he was gone. Travis, I watched you cry every day. You passed his office and you’d just have to that look in your eye like your world had fallen apart. I saw you become distant. And I know I should have told you, but I’m not going to regret it if that’s what you’re looking for. You’re my boy; I carried you for nine months and I’ve loved you since the moment I found out I was pregnant. I vowed to always protect you from any kind of pain, and that’s what I did. I couldn’t bear for you to ever think any of this was your fault,” Casey said.

“Mom, you should have trusted me enough to let me know that I had a sibling. Hell, now I have three and a father who wants to see me. “

“I’m not going to tell you that you should go, but sweetheart, I don’t think you should ignore him either. Who knows, maybe you might even be interested in what he has to say,” Casey told her son as he plopped in the chair across from her.

“I just don’t understand what the hell he wants now. He’s had four years to claim me as his son, but he never did. And now all of the sudden he wants to give a damn,” Travis said.

“I don’t know his motives but what I do know is that I love you more than anything in this entire world and given the chance I’d do it all over again. A mother never wants to see their child in pain. And that’s why I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry that you got hurt, but I’m not sorry that I didn’t tell you.”

Travis knew that his mother’s intentions were pure, but it didn’t make it any easier to forgive her. He knew that he didn’t hate her, in fact if anything he loved her more. The fact that she took his suffering for her just showed how truly amazing of a mother she was. Travis knew he wouldn’t stay mad at her because it would be completely selfish to do so. She only wanted what was best for him, and even though she did that in a way that was completely wrong to him, he couldn’t hold it against her because if the roles were reversed, he would have done the same thing.

“It’s okay, mom. I’m not mad at you, at least not anymore. I was hurt, I felt betrayed. I felt like we were so close, I was thought you’d never keep anything from me. I know that you only did it to protect me, but I just felt like if you could keep something so huge from me that we weren’t as close as I thought we were,” Travis explained.

“I understand, but I love you and I’m always going to protect you, and sometimes you’re not always going to agree with the ways I choose to protect you,” Casey explained to her son. The only thing that mattered to her was her son’s happiness and she’d go a long way to make sure he got it.

“I know. I have to go shower, I texted him with that number you gave me, I’m supposed to be meeting him a bit,” Travis admitted, but the truth was he didn’t want to meet him at all. What was he supposed to say to the man that left him to pick of the broken pieces? What did he say to the man who forced him into growing up? He just didn’t know what to think about anything anymore.

***

“I’m glad you came. “ Travis’s father, Jamie, said as Travis and Annabella sat across from him at a coffee shop. Jamie and Travis looked a lot a lot. Travis had his familiar green eyes and his brown hair. Just looking at them together, you could tell they were related.

“I wasn’t going to,” Travis snapped. How did his father have any right to be happy to see him after all the pain he’s caused?

“What changed your mind?”

“What is it that you want?” Travis asked in a harsh tone, ignoring his question.

“You’re my son, I wanted to see you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Yeah, you’ve missed me so much that you never call, you never write, never come by. Don’t give me that load of crap, you could care less about me. Or my mother. “Travis snapped, feeling the anger rise inside of him. Just the thought that this father thought he’d actually buy his I’ve missed you speech showed how much he didn’t know him at all.

“I know that I wasn’t the perfect father to you, but I really am trying. “ He told him

“That’s bull. When were you going to tell me you had a whole other family? “

“The time was never right, Travis. I didn’t want to keep it from you; I just didn’t know how to tell you the truth.”

“That’s bull. I’m so sick and tired of you lies, you think can come and go as you please and I’m going to just welcome you with open arms every time, but I’m not. You left me, and it was a little bearable when I thought it was because you fell in love with someone else, but it’s dawned on me that you didn’t just leave because of mom, you left because you have another kid. And you know how much that hurts. It’s like a knife twisting at my heart. You weren’t a good father to me, even before you left but yet you could be a father to your other kids,” Travis preached to his father as he just stared at him. Travis felt Annabella’s hand touch him in comfort, reminding him of where he was.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he tried to defend, and that was enough for Travis.

“But you did. You took my life and turned it upside down. You left without a single goodbye. I heard my mother cry herself to sleep every single night for two years. She never got over you, because of you she barely even dates. Screw me, screw my feelings, I’m a big boy. How could you do that to her? She gave you everything and more. More than you deserve. You never deserved her.”

“It’s not that simple, Travis.”

“Yes it is. You hurt her and more than that you left our family, and I’m done listening to all your excuses. This was a bad idea. Come on Bella,” Travis said as he grabbed her hand, but before he was completely standing, Jamie stood in his way.

“Get out of my way.”

“Please don’t walk away.”

“You showed me how to do that best,” Travis replied moving around him, but Jamie pulled his arm back. Reacting on instinct, Travis’s hand formed into a fist and before he realized what was happening, he pounded it into his father’s face.

“That’s for my mother. Now don’t ever try to contact me again. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a father, you’re dead to me,” he said then they left.

 “I’m sorry you had to witness that,” Travis said when they arrived back at his house. Casey was gone at work, and Annabella wasn’t sure it was a good idea for them to go back to her house.

“It’s okay, I’m proud of you for standing up to him. It’s good that you got it all out,” Annabella told him.

“You’ve given me strength. I feel happier than I’ve ever been. You’ve changed me; you’ve made me a better man,” he commented as he pulled her to his lap.

“I don’t know what to say to that,” Annabella said. She was speechless.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to know that it’s not just me that makes your life better, you make mine better just as much. I can’t see my life without you again. You’re amazing, you’re talented, and you’re funny. You bring me to life.”

“Travis, I feel same way. You’ve helped me in ways I never thought anyone could help me.”

“I know you do. I’m glad you moved here, because that brought you to me,” Travis said, just as he pulled her into a kiss. Annabella felt the happiness in the room fill the air. Travis was always so good to her. She loved how they helped each other through the hard times. She loved being with him, feeling his kisses, his touches. She loved it all. She loved him.

“Travis, I love you,” she said, not realizing herself that words were coming out.

Pulling her tightly, Travis was stunned by her declaration. Sure, he said it to her first, but he never expected her to say it back, especially not so soon.

“You do?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she smiled.

“Are you sure? I mean I don’t want you to feel obligated to say it. I want you to say because you know in your heart that’s how you feel.”

“I’m sure. I think I knew it when you said it, but I was too afraid to tell you.”

“You don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me something.”

“I know. I love you,” she repeated.

“I love you too,” Travis told her as she pulled him into a kiss.

In that moment, Travis knew everything would be okay. Being with Annabella was all he could ever want. Everything was perfect.