Paradisal Tragedy (22 page)

She remembered turning to look at the trees as she felt eyes piercing into her back, and once she had turned to look, there he stood. Ian Anderson. Her first love. She could even say the one that got away. She was stuck between reality and a ghost. She’d thought it was real, but after asking Elliot, he’d only told her she’d been imagining things since they were visiting Ian’s parents’ grave.

She took an emotional turn that day. She wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but she couldn’t shake the thoughts of Ian. He was consuming her mind, as he did while they were together, and she couldn’t seem to stop it. She and Ian had a love that couldn’t be explained. The moments they’d shared together, every kiss, every touch, every laugh, every cry…

They’d experienced so much together. Yet in the end it hadn’t been enough to keep him from running. As she reflected back on the time she’d spent with him in their glory days, Allison’s emotions rushed to the surface. The truth was that what she and Ian had was real, and when she thought about it, it still hurt. The worst part was that she never found out the true reason why she’d been abandoned.

A knock at the door startled Allison and dropped her back in reality. When the door opened she welcomed her boss into the room as he took the chair in front of her desk.

“Good Morning, Allison,” Daniel Morgan greeted her as he stared at her with worried eyes. Dan wasn’t just a coworker or a boss, he was a friend. They’d even had drinks a few times and dinner at each other’s houses. As he ran a hand through his thick blonde hair, his hazel eyes pierced into hers, willing her to speak.

“Morning, Danny, how are you?” Allison greeted him, hoping that he’d leave the obvious subject alone. She couldn’t bear to speak of the things that weighed on her mind.

“I’m betting I’m better than you. What’s up with you, little lady?” Dan asked her.

Allison knew that she needed to vent. The last time she held things in, it literally ended up driving her insane. The truth was she just couldn’t bear to talk about it right now. She just needed time.

“I’m okay, Dan, I promise. I’ve just got a few things on my mind, and I need to clear my head.

“Well what if I told you I had the perfect way to do so?” Dan tempted Allison with a smirk that reached his eyes. He was hiding something and by look on his face, Allison had a feeling she was about to receive good news.

“Why are you smiling like an idiot?” Allison asked.

“I want to offer you a job at our new publishing house in New York.”

“The one that you’ve been building for months now? Dan, I’m not sure I can just leave my family. I don’t know,” Allison was shocked. She’d always wanted to go to New York; anyone who knew her knew that. She’d even planned it with Ian once upon a time. They had plenty of plans they’d even put it in their dream notebook. Those plans were now dead, but more than anything Allison still wanted to visit.

“Yes, it’s finally completed. All the last-minute things; everything that needed to be accomplished for it to open are finished. They need editors though, and great ones. And if we’re being honest here, you’re the best one I have. This publishing house in New York could be amazing and that’s why I’m asking you. I know that you’ve always wanted to visit New York, I believe you’ve even told me a time or two that you’ve always wanted to go,” Dan replied, scooting the chair closer to Allison’s desk so he could touch her hands. “Listen, you don’t need to make any decisions right now. I completely understand where you’re coming from. Your entire family and Lucas are here, so I’ll give you a few days to answer, but Allison, I’m going to need an answer soon.”

“When would I have to leave?” Allison wondered out loud. She was conflicted as the thought of New York approached her mind. It had always been something she wanted, but could she go now? Could she leave her family and Lucas behind to do the job she loved so much and to live in a place she’s always wanted to go?

“I don’t know, Danny. My family, they mean everything to me. I’m not sure I can just up and leave them. And then there’s Lucas, I love him. God, do I love him. That man has stood by me for the year that we’ve been together, and I don’t know if I can just walk away from him.”

“I don’t see it as walking away from him. You can come back as often as you’d like, I’ll even pay for your visits, no matter how big or small the reason is. I won’t pressure you into this. We both know we’re more than just coworkers. You’re not just an employee to me, you’re an amazing friend. I just want the best for you. I do believe that this would be an amazing opportunity for your career but I get it if you don’t want to go. And if you don’t, I’ll still pay for you to take a trip to New York.”

“I just need a few days, Dan, is that alright?” Allison questioned, blinking in awe. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She half expected to wake up and find it was all a dream. Although she wasn’t sure it would be considered a good or bad dream. She wouldn’t deny the fact that a really huge part of her wanted it more than anything. She’d dreamt of going to New York since she was a child and right here in this moment she had the chance to make that dream a reality. Should she take it or leave it?

“I understand, Allie, you take a couple days. I hate to push or rush you but we need a fast decision.”

“I know, Dan. I just need to talk to Lucas and decide if this is really what I want. I do thank you for the opportunity,” Allison said with a smile.

“I’ll let you get back to work, but just think about it. This could be great for you, Allison. It could be amazing. We’ve been friends for two years now, and I know you all too well. I know that if you pass up this opportunity, in the long run you’ll hate yourself for it. Do what’s best for you. Not everyone else,” Dan told her with honesty. He knew that Allison always put everyone she loved ahead of her own desires.

As Dan walked out of her office, quietly closing the door behind him, Allison was left with scattered thoughts racketing in her brain. She wasn’t sure what had just happened but she knew it was the chance of a lifetime. Isn’t this what she wanted? To have an opportunity to not only see the city of New York, but have the chance to live and work there?

But there was the matter of the people she loved. Her mother was her best friend, her biggest supporter. She’d been there for her through all her hardships, her laughs, her joys; could she really move across the country? Who would she run to when things got complicated?  Who would wipe her tears away when her heart was breaking and tell her that it was okay to let go? Could she possibly survive in a different state without her?

Then there was her father. It was no secret that Allison was daddy’s little girl. He supported all her dreams and hopes just as much as her mother did. He held her when she cried, and protected her from the dangers that lurked around every corner. He was her hero in every way. Could she wake up every day and be happy while she had to adjust to being away from him? And what about her brothers?

Lastly, there was Lucas, the man she had pushed away every chance she got. It wasn’t enough though, because as much as she pushed, he pushed harder. She fought him for months, not wanting to let him in, fearful that she’d only end up with another broken heart. The way Ian hurt her had consumed her. It broke her. She vowed to never feel that way again, even if it meant ruining her own happiness.

Somewhere along the lines though, something changed with Lucas, something big enough for her to open her heart up and love him. It had been the best decision she’d ever made. She loved him, and they were perfect together. Could she have the heart to tell him that she wanted this opportunity? Did she want it? What would it mean for their relationship?

Sighing, Allison decided to finally pick up a manuscript; she’d think about all her worries later. Right now she only wanted to get lost inside a book. Her reality could wait. She knew she had to do it soon, but she had no desire to choose between her loved ones and her dream.

Acknowledgements

Xavier- I can’t even explain in words how much you were the biggest influence and supporter throughout the journey of the last few months with publishing this book. You believed in me like no one else did, and did your best to help me accomplish my dream. On the days when I was falling apart and the doubt in me was incredibly overwhelming, you just took my hand and told me that it would all be okay, and I love you for that, you’re honestly the most amazing boyfriend a girl could ask for. I’ve accomplished with this book because of you, so thank you!!!! You’re truly amazing.

Mom- Thanks for believing in my writing and always telling me I could do whatever put my mind to. I love you.

Erica Mayer- Thanks for always putting up with me and believing in my dream when no one else did. You’ve been a great support system and I can’t explain in words how grateful I was to have you as my mom and dad growing up. I love you.

Jordyn Kinder- Our friendship was something much unexpected but I’m so glad that you braced me with your presence in my life. I can’t tell you how truly much it has meant to have that one person that never stopped showing how much they supported you, even through the times we didn’t chat. Out of all the people you’re probably my biggest supporter when it came to helping me promote and stay on task, you helped me in so many ways, listened to my frustrations and doubts and honestly, you were such a true friend throughout this whole process. I owe you so much, my little star. Thank you for all you’ve done for me.

Laura, Sarah, and Candice- Without your support, I honestly have no idea what I’d do. Each of you has been there for me at one time or another and I honestly couldn’t thank you enough, even on my self-doubt days, you all saw the best in me and helped me through it.

Megan Toby Gallt- I can’t express in words how much your support has meant to me. You’re such an amazing friend and this book wouldn’t have been possible without you. You were the first blogger I ever reached out to and ever since you’ve been such a great support system, thank you.

Shanda Payne- You were the first person to ever read
The Power of Love
and loved it instantly. I can’t tell you how much all your support means to me. You’ve been here for me through so many doubts and I couldn’t or wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have you. 

Stephenie and Savannah- I’ll never forget the days I spent with you at pace. The memories we shared and all the encouragement you gave me to pursue a dream that everyone else told me was silly. Out of everyone you two have the biggest hands in where I am today. Without your emotional support and pushing me to do what I love, I probably would still be keeping my writing to myself.

Shay- You’ve always inspired and encouraged me to follow my dream of being a writer since I was sixteen. I thought there was no way I could do it for a living, but your words telling me to never give up were always burned into the back of my mind. Thank you for always being here, not just as my former English teacher, but helping me with some editing. Before and after rewrites. This book wouldn’t be published without you.

Melanie White Smith- I can’t explain how much your support means to me. Meeting you was a blessing, and I’m so thankful to be able to call you a friend. You’re the one person who always gives me honesty, when it comes to my books, you never sugar coat, you tell me whether you think something is realistic or not, and I can’t tell you how much I need that. As an author, I only ever want honesty, even if it’s not what I want to hear, and on top of that you’re just one of my biggest supporters and no matter what you’re always trying to help me and I can’t say thank you enough.  So thank you for supporting and believing me.

Jennifer and Kirsty- You guys are truly amazing supporters and I’m thankful to have you in my life.

And to all the amazing authors I’ve met who’ve helped me with the smallest things. There are honestly way too many to name. Coming into the Indie world I never once expected to make so many amazing friends. You’ve all helped me in some way and I can never thank you enough for that.

To all my beta readers, thank you for giving my book a chance when you barely knew anything about it. I can’t tell you how much your love and support of
Paradisal Tragedy
means to me. You guys love it before anyone, and you’re a big part in how I came about being more confident about it.

And to all my readers!!! I have a hard time with calling you fans so I’m sticking to readers!! Anyway, I wouldn’t be here without all your amazing support, constant questions, sharing and just supporting me through this amazing journey. You guys are truly amazing and I couldn’t ever ask for more than what you’ve given me. THANK YOU!