Paradise Found (19 page)

A glass of water was placed in her hand. Hannah gently coaxed, ‘Here, drink this, although really I think it should be brandy. You've gone as white as a sheet. I shouldn't have spoken so sharply to you just now. I didn't make allowances for your suffering.'

On taking a sip, Zoe said, ‘Please don't be too nice to me, Hannah, you'll make me cry. I don't want to go soggy-eyed to Tony to return his ring, and that's something I must do straight away.'

‘Yes, dear. I'm sorry, sorry for all of us, that things haven't worked out the way you wanted. I'm even sorrier still that they haven't worked out the way I would have liked,' Hannah added ambiguously.

‘Thank you, Hannah.' What else could she say. ‘I'll go find Tony.'

But first she went up to her room for the box the ring had come in from the jeweler's shop. She put the ring in the box, then placed the box in an envelope on which she wrote:
I'm sorry it had to be like this, Tony. The contents will explain it all. No words necessary.
Then she went downstairs to find him.

He was where he usually was, in the garden. She handed him the bulky envelope. He accepted it, read what she'd written on the front, and tore it open. Shrugging, he put the ring box in his pocket.

‘Good
old never-make-a-fuss Zoe!' he scoffed, a look of bravado coming to his face. ‘It never ceases to amaze me the calm way you take things. I expected fireworks and recriminations.'

That's what Zoe had expected from him. ‘What for, Tony?' she asked carefully.

‘For giving you such a rotten deal, of course. I'm sorry. God, how inadequate that sounds, but it's true. I'm sorry for you, and selfish to the end, I'm just a little bit sorry for myself. Quite recently Nan remarked that I was a better person for knowing you, and I think she's right. If we'd stuck together you might have reformed me totally. As it is, well, Camille and I are out of the same mold. And you could say that I've landed on my feet. André Dupont is comfortably off. Camille is his only grandchild and will inherit the lot. On reflection, my position is really quite enviable.' Suddenly he dropped the light, jocular tone to ask, ‘So why don't I feel better about things?'

Zoe hardly dared to believe the implication of Tony's words. Was he saying that he was the father of Camille's child, not Matt? All she could feel was stunned incredulity.

‘I don't know,' she said, her words reflecting her perplexity: ‘You tell me why you don't feel better about things.'

‘Because I think I was falling in love with you.'

‘Weren't you in love with me when you
asked
me to marry you? The truth, Tony. You owe me that.'

‘Yes, I guess I do. And so, no I wasn't in love with you. I was attracted to you, and I want you to know that my affection for you has steadily grown, but my main reason was wanting to triumph over Matt.'

‘But you weren't aware that I knew Matt. Or were you?'

‘Yes, I knew. Have you found out yet why Matt didn't come back to you five years ago?'

‘Yes. Hannah told me about his accident.' She gasped. ‘You knew! You knew there was a girl in his life. You've known all this time that I was that girl. And you let me go on thinking that he didn't return because he didn't want me, even though you and I had talked about it.'

‘Don't look at me like that, Zoe. I didn't have to tell you now, and I'm only doing so to try to make amends. I knew all about the message you got to the effect that Matt wasn't available when you phoned to ask about him. That message came via me. I visited Matt in hospital and he told me to instruct the staff to say what they did should you inquire.'

‘Matt thought he had nothing to offer me, and he didn't want my pity,' she said in a low voice.

‘Something like that. I thought he was being stupid; it was obvious that he was eating his heart out for you. I couldn't understand his
reasoning.'

Her lashes flew up. ‘And when we met, and you heard my name, you knew who I was!' The accusation scraped rawly on her throat. She seemed to be fighting back both tears and laughter.

‘Yes . . . Said cold, it sounds horrible, and I'm ashamed. At the beginning I didn't see you for yourself. You had something I found attractive, and that was Matt's interest. He's always scored in life. It would have been something to put one over on him. To get my hands on something he wanted appealed to me very much.'

‘How did you know that Matt still wanted me after all that time?'

‘When he got the business on its feet again he set someone on trying to find you. But you'd moved and changed jobs and couldn't be traced. I couldn't believe my luck when I met you—not strictly by chance, incidentally. I fixed the first meeting. I overheard your name in conversation. It had to be you. I knew the personal details about you from the inquiries Matt had been making your age, coloring. There couldn't be two redheads in that age group with such an unusual name. And so I made a fast play for you. I wanted to keep you secret from Matt until after the nuptial knot was firmly tied—that would really have rubbed his nose in it—but it didn't come off. He made one of his famous unscheduled visits before
the
wedding, and your identity couldn't be withheld any longer. You've got to hand it to Matt, though, he was a cunning old dog, setting me up like that.'

‘You mean by taking you out and getting you drunk?'

‘That wasn't all he did. The party he arranged for me wasn't the traditional stag thing. Camille was among the people he invited. He laid it on the mat for me. I've always fancied Camille, I won't deny that, but she's never looked at me before. It's always been Matt. She was all over him that night, but he wasn't playing, so she turned to someone who would play—me! It started off for laughs. I took her home and we started messing around, just kissing. We'd both had too much to drink. Before I realized what was happening, we were in bed together. Camille had dug out a bottle of Scotch and we'd started drinking again, and so it's all pretty hazy in my mind. But I know we made love. I woke up with an awful hangover, which was how I came to fall down the steps and break my stupid leg on leaving Camille's apartment.'

‘That was a lucky break for both of us. It would have been a disaster if our wedding had taken place as planned.' It didn't bear thinking of. ‘What you said just now about beginning to fall in love with me . . . well, that wasn't true. You were just considering my feelings. You can't feel that way about me because you're in
love
with Camille. I can't believe my own stupidity. I've seen the way you look at her. Why it didn't occur to me, I don't know. I guess I've been too wrapped up in my own affairs. I'm pleased for you, Tony. It's not the best way to start a marriage, so it's up to you to make it a good one. I hope that you and Camille will be very happy.'

‘Thank you, Zoe. That's sweet of you.'

‘One thing puzzles me. I thought the steps you fell down were at the club you'd been to. What was it called—the Ace of Clubs?'

‘There are no steps at the Ace of Clubs,' he said sheepishly.

‘I see. The girl who phoned to say you'd been taken to hospital. That was Camille? Your mother said she spoke with a foreign accent. That's really ironic! Your mother said she thought the girl was French because her voice was like Camille's. No wonder. It
was
Camille!'

‘Yes. And that's it. Now you know it all. The whole sordid story.'

‘Thank you for telling me, Tony.' She ought to be furious with him. But she was so unbelievably happy that it was Tony, not Matt, who was responsible for Camille's condition that she couldn't get her anger anywhere near the boil. She couldn't stop smiling.

‘Thinking about it, did I have much option?'

‘No. So perhaps I mean for the way you've told me, fairly and truthfully. It's made me
hope
there's still a chance for Matt and me to find happiness together. Your grandmother phoned Matt straight away, asking him to come. Because Matt was head of the family, and because of the longstanding friendship between the two families, Hannah had felt that Matt should pay André Dupont the courtesy of talking to him, conferring with him about the arrangements for the wedding, and possibly allaying any fears about Tony's willingness to shoulder his responsibilities. It had not been for the reason she had thought, Zoe realized, hugging herself for joy. ‘I was all set to pack up and get a plane out before he arrived, which would have created even more misunderstanding between us. So I owe you a big thank you.'

‘Don't pin any halos on me, Zoe. I know that Nan's phoned Matt to come. She buttonholed me before you did.'

‘Just now, while I was upstairs?'

‘I suppose so.'

‘That wasn't the first you knew of the baby, was it?'

‘It was the first time I got it officially, but Camille suspected she might be pregnant the day we went to St. Tropez, remember?'

‘Ah, yes, her indisposition wasn't because of something she ate!' Zoe observed wryly.

‘Anyway, to get back to what Matt's reaction will be. To say he isn't going to be pleased is the understatement of the year. Camille isn't
some
girl I've picked up off the street; we've known her since we were kids. It's to my advantage to make my peace with you. You have a lot of influence with Matt, and I want you on my side.'

‘Perhaps that's the way it is, and perhaps not. I think you're so happy yourself with what has happened that some deep down generous streak, which you're fighting to deny, wants me to be happy, too. So, again, thank you, Tony.' She kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked on air as she left him to find Hannah again.

‘I've changed my mind, Hannah,' she said without ceremony. ‘If Camille wants me, I'd love to be bridesmaid for her.'

‘What brought that about?'

‘I jumped to a silly conclusion. You'll never believe who I thought the father of Camille's child was.'

‘You mean you didn't think Tony was responsible?'

‘No. I thought it was Matt.'

‘But how absurd! Admittedly, I'm surprised by all this. I knew that Tony had a weakness for Camille, but it seemed hopeless, because Camille's always had an outsize crush on Matt. But she's a child in his eyes. He was always very protective of her; he might not have put her in her place too severely to avoid hurting her feelings, but he never intentionally led her on. I don't know why Camille turned to Tony—perhaps out of pique—but that's just a
wild
guess.' For a wild guess, it was pretty accurate, Zoe thought. ‘It seemed that I was going to lose you, Zoe. Is there a possibility that that may not be so?'

‘I don't know.'

‘When I spoke to Matt on the phone, he said he'd pull strings and be here as soon as possible. He asked how you had taken the news. I said you were utterly miserable and that you'd taken it very badly indeed. When he gets here—this evening, I hope—I think he's going to have a pleasant surprise.'

* * *

Tony and Hannah had accepted an invitation to dine with Camille and her grandfather. Zoe had been included in the invitation, but she had declined. If Matt got there that night, she wanted to be waiting for him.

She dressed with care, choosing the white dress she'd worn when Matt had arrived the last time and found her in the garden. She brushed her hair until it was like silken fire and was extra generous with her favorite perfume. She fastened Matt's pendant round her neck. Her fingers were shaking in anticipation of his coming. What if they were all wrong? She had never heard it from Matt's lips that there was a valid reason for his nonreturn five years ago. What if he'd dropped her because she had ceased to interest him? In
what
way did she interest him now? Did he only want a beautiful but brief affair, or did he have it in mind to spend the rest of his life with her?

She put off eating, although she hadn't been able to eat any lunch and had promised Hannah faithfully that she would have something when they left. She was too choked up, frightened, and excited to eat. And in any case, she wanted to wait and eat with Matt. She felt as though she didn't even want to breathe without Matt.

She heard the car pull into the drive. She had the door open and was outside in time to see him pay the taxi driver off. She wanted to run to him, but she couldn't. His face was visible in the light cast from the house. It was so grave and solemn. He looked as if he'd thrown himself together, pulling on the first clothes that had come to hand in order to catch his plane. He wasn't even carrying a suitcase she noticed as he came striding toward her. His arms went round her and he bundled her inside.

‘It's going to be all right, Zoe. He wasn't right for you.'

‘I know.'

‘You're well rid of him.'

‘I know.'

‘He didn't love you in the way you should be loved. He was attracted to you for all the wrong . . . What did you say?'

‘I
said I know that Tony wasn't right for me and that it's better that he's out of my life, and I'm fully aware that he wanted me for all the wrong reasons. I can't begin to explain what a tremendous relief I feel.'

‘But on the phone . . . mother said you were inconsolable, desolate beyond belief. She said she'd never in all her life seen anyone crack up the way you did.'

‘That was when I thought it was you and Camille.'

‘Me? But Camille's only a child.'

‘If you think that, you haven't been looking at her properly lately.'

‘That's probably true. I haven't been looking at anyone properly lately. All I've been able to see is you. You've superimposed yourself so firmly on my mind that there's been no room for anyone or anything else. You've put me through every kind of mental and physical torture possible.'