Paranoia (3 page)

―Because I want to look good when I see Hadley,‖

she said. ―I want to make sure she knows she didn‘t break me.‖

I‘d helped her put the makeup on, the whole time wondering if she‘d real y wanted to

look good because she knew she was going to see Cam.

―I‘m still hungry,‖ she says now, leaning back in the passenger seat and sighing.

―I don‘t know how you could be,‖ I say, turning on the cruise control. I‘m exhausted, and starting to lose my focus on the road. I‘m also preoccupied, because a few minutes ago I realized I‘m to have to figure out what I‘m going to tell my mom. I have her car. And even if she‘s sleeping now, at some point, she‘s going to wake up.

And she‘s going to notice I‘m gone.

―You should eat something,‖ Raine says. She crumples up the empty chip bag and throws it into the backseat. ―You‘re going to need your strength.‖

I want to ask her if she‘s so worried about me keeping up my strength, why she ate al the chips. I also want to ask her if she put some kind of spell on herself where calories don‘t matter, because I can‘t imagine how she can eat like that and have a body like she does.

―I‘m fine,‖ I say.

She looks at me. ―You don‘t look fine.‖

―Well , I feel fine.‖

She shrugs. ―Suit yourself.‖

I sit up straighter in the seat, but my eyelids keep drooping. There‘s nothing but black pavement in front of me, and even the high beams from my car are only illuminating the white stripes in the middle of the road. I turn the radio on in an effort to stay awake, but I‘m losing the battle.

―You‘re falling asleep,‖ Raine says.

―No, I‘m not.‖

―I think we should stop,‖ she says.

―How far away are we?‖

―A couple of hours,‖ she says, then shrugs. ―Maybe more.‖

―Maybe more?‖

―I‘m not a GPS,‖ she says.

―Well , maybe we should turn one on.‖

―Where we‘re going isn‘t on the GPS.‖

I resist the urge to reach my hands out and strangle her. The thing is, I‘m not even that annoyed with her.

I‘m annoyed with the situation. I‘m worried about Cam. I want to call Brody, but I‘m not sure if I should. I don‘t know what I‘m going to tell my mom. I know I can‘t completely trust Raine. I‘m scared, yes. But overriding the fear is frustration.

―Let‘s stay the night in a hotel,‖ Raine whines.

―No way,‖ I say, shaking my head. ―I‘m not letting Hadley and Cam get further ahead of us.‖

―You‘re not going to be any good to Cam if you end up dead.‖

―Why would I end up dead?‖

―From a car accident,‖ she says, rolling her eyes, like she can‘t believe I would think it was anything more sinister. I guess she‘s forgotten about the fact that just a week ago she was trying to kill me.

―I‘ll bet Hadley and Cam pulled over somewhere to spend the night,‖ she says, watching closely for my reaction. I try not to have one, but the thought of the two of them together makes my mouth go dry and my stomach seize up. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, the tension in my body taking over.

I don‘t answer her, and we drive for a few more minutes without saying anything.

But the exhaustion doesn‘t go away, and I feel my eyes closing again. At one point, I‘m so tired that I hit the warning strip. A loud vibration fills the car.

―We‘re stopping at a hotel,‖ Raine says. ―I‘m not going to get killed just because you‘re too stubborn.‖

―We‘re not.‖

―We are.‖

―We‘re not.‖

I look over at her, and she crosses her arms over her chest. She‘s not wearing her seatbelt.

I guess she‘s feeling reckless.

―I‘m not going to tell you where we‘re going unless we stop,‖ she says, ―Sorry, but I‘m tired. I need to sleep.‖ But she doesn‘t sound tired. In fact, she sounds total y amped up.

―Why do you want to stop so bad?‖ I ask.

―Because. I‘m. Tired.‖ She rolls down her window, and the air blows the strands of her hair around her face. ―We‘re stopping,‖ she says again, ―or I‘m not telling you where we‘re going.‖

I sigh. I don‘t get the sense that she‘s planning something. In fact, it feels more like she‘s nervous.

Or maybe staling? But I can‘t be sure. And she is right about one thing – I‘m going to be no use to Cam if I‘m dead. And I have a feeling that if I push Raine on this, the two of us might get into some kind of altercation.

So when we see a sign for a Sheraton at the next exit, I pull the car off the highway and fol ow the signs toward the hotel.

***

Raine uses her mind control to put a spell on the front desk clerk and get us a room for free. We have no choice --- neither one of us is eighteen, and even if we were, we don‘t have enough money to pay.

For a second, I wonder if we should get two rooms. I have a mental

picture of waking up in the middle of the night, Raine standing over me, looking crazy and trying to kill me. But she‘s my only hope for finding Cam, and I want to keep an eye on her. The fact that she was so weird about wanting to stop for the night has put me on edge, and I‘m not completely sure she won‘t run away in the middle of the night.

―Wanna go to the diner next door?‖ Raine asks once we‘re in the room.

I stare at her incredulously. ―This isn‘t a slumber party,‖ I say, sitting down on the bed closest to the door. It‘s covered with an ugly orange quilt, and the mattress seems lumpy, but I don‘t care. Al of a sudden, the only thing I can think about is going to sleep. I realize I have nothing – no toothbrush, no pajamas. Al I have is an iPad with a crazy woman on it, the clothes I‘m wearing, my mom‘s car, and my purse.

―I didn‘t say it was a slumber party,‖ Raine says, al snotty. ―But I‘m hungry, and I‘ll bet they have good food. Did you see all the cars in the parking lot?‖

―At this time of night it‘s probably al drunks,‖ I say,

―They‘ll eat anything.‖

―Drunks have excellent taste in food.‖

―Why are you eating so much, anyway?‖ I ask, pulling the covers down on my bed.

―You‘re acting like it‘s your last meal or something.‖

She turns away, and I can tell from her expression that I‘ve hit a nerve.

―What‘s wrong?‖ I ask.

―Nothing,‖ she says. She‘s stretched out on the other bed, looking up at the ceiling.

―You‘re scared.‖ It‘s a statement, not a question. I don‘t want to give her the chance to deny it.

―Of course I‘m scared,‖ she says, propping herself up on her elbows and looking at me.

―Do you have any idea where I‘m taking you?‖ She says it like I‘m a child.

―No,‖ I say, ―I don‘t. Remember? You won‘t tell me.‖

―It‘s….bad.‖ She lies back down on the bed. ―The people there, they… you don‘t know

what they‘re capable of.‖

―Then why don‘t you explain it to me?‖

―They can make you do things,‖ she says, ―Bad things. They don‘t care about us Natalia, and if you ever start to think that they do, you‘re wrong. Al they care about is the good of the world. We‘re just play toys to them.‖

―So then why are you going there?‖ I ask her.

―Because,‖ she says simply. ―I‘m going to surrender.‖

―You‘re going to what?‖ My mouth goes dry.

―Surrender.‖ If she was scared before, the fear is gone now, replaced with the usual face she has, a slight sneer, like she can‘t believe she got stuck with someone as stupid as me. ―You know what surrender means, don‘t you? Wave the white flag?

Turn myself in?‖ She‘s pulled the compact out of her bag, and she‘s studying her

reflection.

She pushes her hair out of her face.

―You‘re going to surrender?‖

She doesn‘t say anything.

―Why would you do that?‖

This question seems to anger her. ―Jesus, Natalia,‖

she says, throwing the compact onto the floor. ―You don‘t know anything, do you? Do

you even know where I was this past week?‖

―Yeah,‖ I say, ―You were in Hadley‘s basement.‖

―Do you know where I was before that?‖

―No.‖

She shakes her head, and I see her eyes fill with tears. But then her whole face changes.

―I‘m going to bed,‖ she says. She kicks off her shoes and slides under the covers, fully clothed.

―Raine,‖ I say.

But she turns off the light and doesn‘t answer.

***

I go outside and call my mom. I tell her that Cam and I got into a fight after the disastrous dinner we had at our house. I tell her that Cam took off to Maine to see his dad, and that I fol owed him. She‘s pissed. She has to work tomorrow, and now she‘s going to have to take a cab. I tell her I‘m sorry. She doesn‘t care. She says I basically y stole her car, which is true. But I play it off like I‘m brokenhearted and angsty. Which isn‘t even a lie. I am brokenhearted and angsty.

And I am fol owing Cam to Maine. The only part I leave out is the part about the witches. And the mind control.

And the finding Raine in Hadley‘s basement. My mom‘s not happy. But honestly, she‘s

the least of my problems.

When I get back to the room, Raine‘s asleep, her breathing slow and even. I take a

shower in the small but clean bathroom, then slide under the covers in the other bed. It‘s surprisingly comfortable. But still , I can‘t sleep. I toss and turn for over an hour.

Final y, at around three in the morning, I creep out of the room and out to the car.

I slide into the driver‘s seat and then reach into the back, where I stashed the iPad Brody gave me under the seat when Raine wasn‘t looking. I sit there for a second, holding it in my hands.

The air is cool, and so I start the car and slide the dial on the heat to low. The warm air fills the car, and I turn the iPad on. That same room fills the screen, with that same woman. Only this time, she‘s sleeping on the cot.

I watch her for a moment.

I clear my throat. ―Hello?‖

She doesn‘t say anything. ―Hello?‖ I say again, a little louder this time. I try to remember her name.

―Samara,‖ I say. ―Samara!‖

She turns over on her cot, and then without opening her eyes, throws her pillow on the floor. ―Go ‗way,‖

she mumbles. There‘s a line of drool hanging off her mouth, and she wipes it away with the back of her hand.

A white hot rage slides through my body. I‘m mad that I‘m in this situation, mad that I‘m somehow involved in all this craziness. Mad that I can‘t just be normal, that I can‘t just have a stupid high school romance filled with drama and facebook stalking and all the other things you‘re supposed to do when you have a boyfriend. Mad that no one will tell me what‘s going on.

Mad that I can‘t do something.

―Hey!‖ I yell . ―Get your ass out of bed! Now!‖

Samara sits up and blinks in the light of the room.

Then she throws her head back and cackles. This pisses me off even more. ―Stop

laughing,‖ I say. ―It‘s not funny.‖

She throws her leg over the side of the bed and walks over to a tiny cupboard in the

corner. She pulls out a pack of gum, unwraps a stick, and puts it in her mouth. Then she grabs the chair from her little folding table and sits in front of the camera.

―It‘s late,‖ she says, smacking her gum loudly.

―Oh, real y?‖ I say sarcastically y. I‘m too pissed to be polite or to even be scared of her.

―Yeah.‖ She nods. ―I don‘t like being woken up.‖

―Yeah, well , I don‘t like the shit that‘s going on either.‖

―I bet you don‘t,‖ she says, then throws her head back and cackles again. She‘s wearing a long white dressing gown, the kind of thing you‘d see in an old historical romance novel. Her hair is a mess, and there‘s a white stocking cap perched haphazardly on her head.

―I need your help,‖ I say.

―Says who?‖

―Brody said you would help me.‖

―Brody who?‖

My mouth drops, but then she laughs again. ―Just messing with you, Blondie.‖

―I‘m not blonde.‖

She laughs again. Jesus Christ. This is the woman who‘s supposed to be helping me?

This is the woman Brody left me with? I think again about cal ing him. But I know what he would tell me. He‘d tell me not to trust Raine, to stay away from her. And honestly, I don‘t want to hear that. I want to believe that Raine is taking me to Cam, that she‘s bringing me to wear I can find him.

―Do you know where Cam is?‖ I ask.

―Cam who?‖ She laughs again, like this is the funniest joke ever.

―Forget it,‖ I say, reaching for the button to switch her off.

―No, no, wait!‖ she says. ―Campbell is here.‖

―In jail?‖

―No,‖ she says, ―At the compound.‖

―The compound?‖

She nods. ―Now can I go back to bed?‖

―No,‖ I say. I have a million questions for her. ―Is Raine taking me to you?‖

―You‘re with Raine?‖ she asks. ―Wowzie wow. I didn‘t know you had it in you,

Blondie.‖

―Yes, I‘m with her. I…‖ I swallow. ―Can I trust her?‖

―What do you think?‖

―I don‘t know!‖ I practical y scream. ―That‘s why I‘m asking you!‖ I‘m so frustrated I want to cry.

Then suddenly, a look comes over Samara‘s face. A look of lucidity. It‘s almost like

she‘s been completely mad up until this point, and now she‘s having a moment of clarity.

―Listen,‖ she says, ―You can‘t trust Raine. Not completely.‖

I take in a sharp breath. A shiver runs through me, and it feels like a million sharp knives are pushing on my lungs. I knew I couldn‘t trust Raine, but I had no choice. Did I?

―What should I do?‖ My heart‘s pounding fast and I feel a little lightheaded.

―You have to fol ow her,‖ Samara says. ―She‘ll take you to Cam. She will . But be

careful. There will be times you must trust her, and times you must not.‖

―And how will I know when those times are?‖ I ask. I can hear the desperation in my

voice.

―I don‘t know, Blondie,‖ Samara says. ―Why the hell do I have to do all your thinking for you?‖ She‘s up now, shuffling back toward the cupboard. She hawks her chewed up gum into the garbage, then starts walking toward the cot.

―Wait!‖ I scream at her. ―That‘s it? That‘s all you have to tell me?‖

But she‘s not listening. In fact, it seems almost like she‘s somewhere else. She climbs back into bed.