Paranormalcy (20 page)

I
already knew I was a disastrous dancer, thanks to the iPod ankle-spraining fiasco, but Lend and I threw caution and self-consciousness to the wind, flailing around in the middle of the floor with everyone else.

Lend pulled me out for more pictures. “Let's just do a classic pose, okay?” he asked as we waited for the couple's picture.

I shrugged. I didn't know what he meant, and I didn't care as long as we got the photos. Like I said, I wanted proof. We stood next to each other, his arms around my waist. Then, right when the picture was about to be taken,
Lend dipped me, putting one hand behind my head and kissing me full on the lips. I was so surprised I would've fallen over if he hadn't been holding me so tightly. As soon as the flash went off he pulled me back up.

“You dork!” I smacked him in the shoulder, laughing. “That's going to be the weirdest picture ever.”

“Told you I was going to mess up your makeup,” he said, a smug grin on his face.

“Yeah, speaking of which, now I have to go to the bathroom and reapply my lipstick.” I reached out and ran my thumb along his bottom lip. “It's a good shade for you, though.”

“You have lipstick here?” he asked, confused since I hadn't brought a purse.

“Oh, never underestimate the ingenuity of a girl in figuring out where to pack necessities.” As much as I hated to leave him, I was determined to look hot all night.

“Aren't you going to ask someone to go with you?”

“To the bathroom? Why?”

“Girls never go to the bathroom by themselves.”

“I'll try not to be too lonely in the ten seconds it'll take me to finish.”

He smiled. “Meet you by the drink table.” He put his arms around me, pulling me in close. “Hurry,” he whispered, then let me go.

I practically floated to the bathroom. A couple of other girls were in there, giggling about their dates and gossiping
about who was wearing what trashy dress. I pulled the lipstick out of my bra. Being flat had its advantages in added storage space.

Retouched to perfection, I walked back to the gym and looked for Lend. As I made my way around the dark edges of the gym, I scanned them for potential trouble.

Rolling my eyes, I laughed. Tonight there were no vampires or faeries or crazy burning girls. As far as this high school was concerned, none of those things even existed. Lend waved to me from the drink table and, for the first time in years, I felt all the tension melt from my body.

Just as I reached him, a slow song started. We moved to the dance floor and swayed like everyone else. “You know,” he said, leaning in so closely his lips were on my ear, “I might lose all my masculine credit forever for saying this, but I'm pretty sure tonight is perfect.”

“Me, too.” If it were possible to die of happiness, you could have written my obituary right then.

After a couple minutes of the swaying, Lend shook his head. “We can do better than this.” He took my hand in his and began dancing us through the crowds in a bizarre imitation of the tango. As he dipped me backward, I saw John and Carlee, dancing so close you'd be hard-pressed to slip a sheet of paper between them.

Lend pulled me back up and grinned mischievously. “You thinking what I'm thinking?”

As one we charged forward, using our outstretched
hands like a wedge to break them apart. Carlee laughed and John jumped on Lend's back, trying to give him a noogie.

“Boys, honestly,” I said, giggling.

“May I cut in?” a voice like liquid gold murmured in my ear. My spine stiffened as my stomach clenched with fear, and before I could scream a slender hand took mine and spun me away through the crowd. I tried to pull back but we were twirling impossibly fast, the room around us a blur as a sea of faces swirled around me. Reth's arms around me were like steel bands.

“Lend!” I shouted, only keeping my balance because of Reth's too-strong hand on my back. In a glimpse I saw Lend, his face a picture of panic as he tried to fight through the mass of dresses and tuxedos to get to us. Silk and sequins made a rainbow curtain, hiding him from my sight once again as Reth slid expertly through the bodies around us. Humanity, as always, provided no protection from him.

We broke through the edge of the crowd and Reth danced us straight through a faerie door and away from everything I had ever wanted.

“Evelyn, my love. Finally we dance.” He dipped me back, pulling my body right up against his in the infinite darkness. I closed my eyes, my head spinning, as I willed myself not to cry. Why couldn't I have remembered to shove some dry bread in my bra along with the lipstick? Or an iron pipe?

Why did I let myself think I could be normal?

“Take me back,” I said, pushing myself as far away from
him as possible, hating that I had to keep hold of his hand in the Paths.

“Oh, come now. We haven't spoken in so long. I'm sorry about that, really. I meant to visit, but you were sleeping in a nasty iron bed and that watery witch was rather vigilant. But I've managed to keep busy with our old friends at IPCA. So many social calls to make thanks to you and your wonderful words.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice flat to avoid betraying the rising panic. What had I done? I thought of my words from that night—commanding him to take a new name. That would keep IPCA from bossing him around anymore, but I didn't see how that would free him completely. Then I remembered the other command: ignore what IPCA told you. I wanted to throw up as the full weight of my words hit me. No doubt he took it to mean ignore every command IPCA ever gave him, including all those don't-harm-people rules. “Oh, no,” I whispered, horrified. “What have you done?”

He smiled, his teeth brilliant white in the darkness, and took several steps. I resisted, but he dragged me along, and then we were in a meadow that wasn't really a meadow. The edges were hazy, indefinite, and the cheery yellow sky felt far too close. Grass and small pink flowers were set in whorls and patterns, the whole place a mocking picture of tranquility.

“There.” Two chairs appeared and he sat in one, gesturing for me to do the same. “Now that you're safe and sound, we can finish.”

“Oh, I'm finished.” I folded my arms tightly across my chest. “How many of them did you kill?”

He frowned. “Who did I kill?”

“IPCA. How many did you kill? Did you kill Raquel? Is that how Vivian got her communicator?” I was shouting now, so angry with him I didn't care what happened. I wanted him to get mad; I was tired of his smug smile.

“Goodness, Evelyn, listen to you. I've simply helped them into an early retirement of sorts. I didn't kill anyone. Why would you want me to do a thing like that?”

“I
don't
want you to! Why should I believe you, after you let Vivian into the Center! Are you going to pick her up next? How long have you been working with her?”

He smiled. “Oh, yes, that evening was a nice bit of choreography. But, I assure you, I've not been ‘working with her,' as you put it. I needed a new name and you seem to work best under stress. I wouldn't have allowed anything to happen to you. Still, it hasn't been easy, getting involved in the dreary workings of the court again, and you've sorely tried my patience. When we finish, you might stand a chance of justifying my involvement.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “That's really what it was about? All those paranormals died so you could force me into a situation where I'd give you that command?”

“Well, yes. But we've got to move along.”

“Why couldn't you leave me alone? I was fine! You have your stupid new name. Why didn't you just stay in the Faerie Realms?”

“Because they were about to find you, my love. I could only hide your location for so long before they caught on. Vivian is on her way there right now.”

I covered my mouth, shaking my head in horror. “No, she can't—she'll—Take me back! Right now! I've got to warn them!”

Reth sighed, crossing his legs. “They don't matter. And you have yet to be filled.”

“I don't want any more of your disgusting soul!”

He narrowed his eyes, angry. The sky twirled from yellow to nearly black, wind whipping my dress. “My dear girl, you've no idea what I am sacrificing to keep you alive; to secure your eternity. It comes at great cost, and I'm not about to waste all the effort it took to make you by throwing you at Vivian.”

“You—you made me?” It was too horrible to imagine.

“My court made you. We had to have something to balance against theirs, after all.”

“Oh, I know all about your court,” I spat. “And I'm not doing anything for the Unseelie faeries!”

He gave me a puzzled look once again. “What makes you think I'm Unseelie?”

“I'm not stupid! Unseelie faeries are the evil ones!”

“I absolutely agree. Horrid, the lot of them. We would have made you sooner, but we didn't know they had succeeded with Vivian. Still, there's time. If you'll give me your hand.” He stood.

“Never.” I glared at him, so angry I was shaking. “And
you forgot something.”

“Oh?” he asked, calmly walking toward me.

“Denfehlath!” I shouted. His eyes went wide with surprise and anger as a door opened next to me and the faerie with ruby eyes walked through.

“What have you done, Evelyn?” he asked.

“Take me to Lend's house!” I said, turning to Fehl. She laughed her shattering-glass laugh, shooting a look of triumph at Reth.

“There you are.” She took my hand and we jumped through the door. Her steel grasp through the Paths made me nervous. She wasn't annoyed anymore, she was eager. I had to run to keep up. At last another door opened and we came out in Lend's kitchen.

Vivian, in all her fiery glory, sat on the counter, swinging her legs. “Finally!” she said, jumping down. “It's about time! Thanks, Fehl.” I couldn't make out her features under the brightness of her light, but I could hear the smile. I was dead. We were all dead, and once again it was my fault.

I looked at the faerie in horror. She smiled at me. “Oh, bleep,” I whispered. If Reth really was a good faerie, I couldn't imagine what Fehl must be like.

Vivian picked something up off the ground. Before I could react she swung it, barely missing me and smashing it into Fehl's face. Fehl crumpled to the ground. “Iron skillet,” Vivian said cheerfully. “Smart family. So, baby sister, how's it going?”

W
hat
could I possibly say to Vivian, standing here in Lend's kitchen? I was terrified. And not just for myself, but for Lend and everyone here. I'd brought Vivian right to them. I had to get her out, away from the people I loved. “I—You're here.” My brain felt as frozen as my body. I watched her burn, golden and bright.

“Yeah, stupid. I would have gotten here a lot sooner if you had just told me where you were.” It was so weird talking to her now that I couldn't see her features. I had to go by the tone of her voice. She seemed happy.

“Umm, sorry about that. I guess a faerie was blocking
you.” I had to get her to leave with me. I didn't know what Lend would do now, but we couldn't be in this house much longer. “So, what do you say we go?”

She laughed. “Why? I've always wanted to drain a faerie. Plus, hey, I can show you how!” She knelt down next to Fehl. “I wonder how long she'll be out. Well, forever now.” She put out a burning hand, placing it on the faerie's chest. “I always hated her. Her voice was like—I don't know—like breaking glass.”

I shook my head. “We should go. Right now! I mean, other faeries know where we are, right? Let's leave.”

“Chill, Evie.” She turned her face up to me and I could barely make out her eyes above the liquid flames. “We don't need to worry about the faeries anymore, not now that we're together.” She looked back down at Fehl. “Man, she just keeps going and going. If I had known faeries had this much to offer, wow. It's—Come on, I want you to feel this with me. You're going to love it. There's nothing better, not in this whole sucky world.”

“Please stop,” I said, half sobbing. I couldn't help it. As much as I didn't like Fehl, I couldn't stand there, watching her soul being sucked away.

“Why?”

“Because—you don't need to!”

Vivian shook her head, standing up. “You don't get it.”

“No, I do! But, look, you said I'm getting brighter, right?”

She nodded. “Killer dress, by the way.”

“I haven't taken any! I don't even know how. So there's another way, there's got to be, right?”

“No, there isn't. I already told you. We don't have our own souls. I'm not going to stop, not now that I found you. Do you know how long I've been waiting? Do you? Fifty years, that's how long.”

I was shocked. She didn't look older than twenty. “You're not—How?”

“Because of this.” She held out her flaming hands. “How do you think? I would have burned out before I even hit adulthood. So tell me, Evelyn, do you want to die?”

“No, I don't, but I don't want to take other souls just to live!”

“You don't have any choice!” Her voice changed, went softer. “What about your boyfriend? The one made of water? You've noticed his soul, right? That light he carries around with him? It was bright. Do you know what that means?”

I shook my head. I didn't want her to talk about Lend, to notice him. He had to stay safe.

“That means
he isn't going to die
. Did you ever think about that? Your little boyfriend will last forever, and you're going to snuff out like a stubby little candle. So, you still too good for this?”

Lend was immortal
. My heart broke in that moment, remembering the way David looked at Cresseda, that sorrow, that
separation. Would that be my role? Left behind? Or would I be dead, like Vivian said?

“Listen to me. This faerie? Do you know how many people she killed before IPCA started controlling her? Men, women, children. And for no reason. She thinks it's funny. So you tell me how much she deserves that soul. Tell me why
any
of these things deserve what they have. And even the ones you think are innocent—why should they be forced to stay here? It's wrong. I'm saving them, and I'm protecting the world from the ones like her.”

I closed my eyes. I used to think I was protecting the world, too. But it wasn't that simple. Nothing was. Who were we to decide that anyone or anything didn't deserve the spark of life they had been given? “That makes us just as bad as the faeries.”

She slapped me. I stumbled, falling against the counter and putting my hand to my cheek. It burned.

“I'm nothing like them!” She grabbed my hand, pulling me to where Fehl was lying on the ground, but the faerie was gone. Vivian swore loudly, standing up and looking around. “Look what you did! I wasn't done with her. Now who will I show you on?”

Just then another door lit up. Reth stormed through, looking like he was ready to bring the house down on all of us.

Vivian laughed. “Perfect timing.”

Reth looked at me, giving Vivian time to pick up the
skillet. She swung it at the back of his head, knocking him down. He tried to stand but she pushed the skillet flat against his chest.

“Don't know why it works, but so glad it does,” she said. “Come on, Evie. You can't tell me this faerie—after everything he did to you, how he lied and manipulated and used you—you can't tell me he deserves to live forever. Think of how many more girls he'll take, how many more he'll hurt.”

I shook my head, tears in my eyes. I didn't know which one of them I was more scared of. Reth's amber eyes blazed with fury. I was sure that if the iron hadn't been blocking him, Vivian would be dead. If she
could
die with the amount of energy she had flowing through her. And then I realized—there was nothing I could do to stop her. If I fought her, she'd lose her temper and kill me. Everyone I cared about would die, too, and we'd all be trapped forever, swirling around in her sad, empty black hole of a body, just like Lish. I couldn't fight her. Reth was right; I wouldn't survive.

Kneeling, I shook my head in defeat. “Show me how.”

She laughed. “It's about time!”

“Do I just touch him?”

“No, it's not that simple. Otherwise you'd drain everyone you ever touched. Put your hand there—right over his heart. That's where the soul is centered. Then you have to want it. You have to know it should be yours and want it
and call for it. It'll hear you, because that's what we're made for. We're the Empty Ones, and the souls want to come to us. That's why we can see everything, why we can see past the glamours. And once you have more, you can see straight through to souls.” She put her free hand on my arm, and I could hear the happiness in her voice. “It's beautiful, Evie, and they'll all be ours. Together.”

Nodding, I put my hand on Reth's chest. His achingly lovely face had gone calm, and he regarded me with placid eyes.

“You've got to want it,” Vivian said eagerly. “Take it.”

And then I knew. I knew what I wanted. “Hey, Viv,” I said, trying not to cry as I turned to look at her. I could feel her joy at finally connecting with someone. “I'm sorry you were alone for so long. And I'm sorry. So sorry.”

I shoved my palm against her chest. She was so hot it burned. I could feel her searing my flesh, but I didn't move, closing my eyes and, for the first time, opening myself up, inviting the souls in.

Nothing happened.

Vivian ripped my hand away from her chest and threw me across the room. I slammed into the wall, pain blossoming through my whole body. “Why'd you do that? Do you want me to kill you? Because I will! I don't need your pity, you pathetic little thing. Do you know what I am? I'm a
god
, Evie. I am death, and I am life, and I can't believe I wanted to share this with you. The faeries were right.” She shook
her head as she crossed the room and stood over me, bright and terrible. “There's no point in keeping you around.” She pulled me up by my hair, forcing my face right next to hers. I could feel my skin turning red from the heat, the stench of burning hair stinging my nose. Her voice lowered, softened. “I should have known you wouldn't understand, you wouldn't really want it. But don't worry. I'll add what little soul you've managed to scrape together to my collection. That way we really can be together forever.”

She put her hand over my heart.

I held my breath, clutching at the last precious seconds of my life. How would death feel? Her hand was hot, burning. But that was it—my life didn't rush out of me.

Her shoulders started shaking and I realized why it wasn't working. “You have to want it,” I whispered. Vivian didn't want to kill me. Lifting my own hand, I put it gently over her heart. I understood now—I wanted it. I wanted those souls, wanted to free them from her. “Let go, Viv.”

I gasped, stiffening as the heat burst through her skin, racing like an electric current through my entire body. I was flooded with it, overwhelmed. Nothing existed but me and the fire spreading to every cell.

Vivian dimmed, all her fire draining. Her features became clearer, the flames dwindling until they were only in her heart and behind her eyes. Just a little more, I knew, just a little more and she'd be gone. And then I felt her. Felt Vivian, her own soul. It was such a tiny, broken thing, and I
longed to take it, give it haven in myself. I nearly did, until I saw her eyes. They had gone cold—so cold, and blank.

I ripped my hand away and Vivian fell to the ground. I thought I could still see a spark, the very faintest hint of a soul.

And then I didn't care.

With the fire coursing through me everything was removed, like I was seeing the world as it truly was—nothing but a passing dream, dark and cold and dead. I was eternal and nothing in this existence, nothing in this normal life I had craved so much, mattered at all.

“It's about time,” Reth said, leaning casually against the counter.