Paranormalcy (21 page)

I
looked at Reth. Filled as I was, I could see better than ever through his natural form and straight to his soul. It was beautiful. Unlike the liquid flames he'd given me, his soul was stationary, crystallized. It was the same bright gold of all the other souls but utterly unchanging.

“I was going to be cross with you, calling an Unseelie faerie right to you. If you had died, I would have been very disappointed. But this worked out nicely. Now we don't have to waste time filling you.” He stood up straight, smiling. “We can get right to the fun part.”

“The fun part?” Even my voice sounded different; it was
richer, layered, like multiple versions of myself were speaking at the same time. An immortal voice.

“Oh, yes.” He clapped his hands. “We can dance all night, every night, and you'll last forever now. Of course, there's work to do as well. But that can wait until after I've taken you around the court. They'll all be thrilled to meet you. And now that you'll be joining us, I can explain everything to you. Listen to me, prattling on. I'm so pleased we won, that you can come home with me where you belong.”

“Why?”

He looked puzzled. “Why what?”

“Why would I come with you?”

“Well, you certainly don't belong here anymore! You can feel it, can't you? The transience, the flimsiness of this world? Besides, it's impossible to keep anything clean.” He frowned down at his waistcoat and brushed at it. “And then there's the work to be done, gates to be opened, homes to find. I'm glad it's going to be your poem. Far more cheerful.”

“My poem.” I would have been eager to know before, desperate almost, but it was difficult to care, burning with life, so much life.

“Let's see, how did that one go…‘Eyes like streams of melting snow,' and so striking, by the way. ‘Cold with the things she does not know. Heaven above and Hell beneath, liquid flames will end her grief. With her fire, at last release. With her fire, at last release.'”

The house felt close—too confining, too temporary. The decay weighed me down. I walked to the front door, barely noticing when the doorknob melted in my hand. Stepping off the porch, I breathed in deeply and looked up at the sky. The stars, cold and bright, felt like good company. Odd shadows and hints of light surrounded me. I saw everything. Not only was every leaf, every blade of grass perfectly defined, there was more—just beyond what I was seeing.

“Evelyn, love, where are you going?” Reth caught up, standing next to me.

“The light and shadows. Where are they coming from?”

“Paths and possibilities. I can teach you how to manipulate them, if you'd like.”

I stared up at the stars. Lifting my burning hand, I held it flat against the air. “There's something here,” I said softly, my voice foreign and strange in my ears. There was so much more to this world, more than I had ever felt. “A door.”

Reth put his hand on my arm. “Oh, you don't need to bother with that. That's nothing. I'll make the door. You belong with me, by my side for eternity.”

I turned back to the sky. If I aligned those stars just right in my vision, it looked like a gate. Odd I'd never noticed.

“Evelyn, stop,” Reth said, an edge of panic in his voice now.

“Stop what?”

“You don't want to let them go. Not like this.”

I turned to him, frowning. “What are you talking about?”

“The souls. You need them. That is not the gate you're supposed to open.”

“My souls.” I sighed. I loved them. Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply, tracing the energy, my energy, my souls. I was filled. But underneath, vague and gnawing, I felt off. It was too much, and not enough, all at the same time. The flames were stretching me, changing me. And while I was already full to bursting, I could feel the craving, the desire seeping in. “I want more,” I whispered.

“Well, that can be arranged. Come on.” Reth pulled gently on my arm. Why didn't I burn him?

Then I noticed lights. It took me several seconds to realize it was a car. It screeched to a stop in front of us and a man jumped out of the driver's side. His soul was a pale, quavering thing, already on the decline. It made me feel peaceful in a way I couldn't explain, tender toward its fragile beauty.

Then the other door opened. I went rigid. If I had thought Reth's was beautiful, it was nothing to this soul. It filled the night with light, dancing and rippling like the reflection on a pond. I hadn't seen many souls, but I knew that this one was special. I wanted it. I needed it.

“Evie!”

I blinked, trying to filter through my disconnect and place the voice.

“Evie, are you okay?”

“Lend.” My Lend. It clicked into place. That soul was my Lend. I clenched my hands into fists at my side. I shouldn't take that one.

“What's—Your voice, it's different. What did he do to you?”

I squinted, trying to see Lend's face over his soul. Maybe if I could see his face I wouldn't want him so badly, maybe I'd be able to stop. I lifted one hand toward him.

“Oh, go ahead,” Reth said. “He doesn't matter. But do hurry, we should be getting along.”

“What happened?” Lend ran up to me, within reach. I wanted to cry as I put my hand on his chest, but I couldn't. It had to be mine. I opened up the channel—

And gasped. In that moment, touching Lend's soul, I finally connected with my own. It had been lost in the swirl of new souls, overwhelmed. But my soul knew Lend's, loved it, and it was enough.

I pulled my hand back before Lend lost anything. Closing my eyes, I held onto that recognition, focused on my own soul in the flames. And then I noticed the individuals. Hundreds of them, freed from Vivian only to be trapped again. My breath caught—I felt Lish's. I knew it was hers. Gentle and intelligent, swirling nearest to my heart. I wanted to keep her with me forever.

The guilt came then and I tried to push it down. If I let them go, I didn't belong with Lend. Not with the soul I'd
seen. I'd burn out and he'd continue, eternal and breathtaking. Just like Vivian had said.

“If I keep them, I could stay with you.” Tears streamed down my face.

“Keep what?”

“The souls.”

“The—what?”

“I took them, from Vivian.”

“Vivian's here?” He looked around, panicked.

“Not anymore.” I shook my head sadly. “But, Lend, I've got them—they're inside me.”

“What do you mean? You took the souls?” His voice was concerned and scared.

I was ready to argue, explain why I had to keep them. But watching his soul dancing in front of me, I knew I couldn't. I couldn't be with him, not like this. I wouldn't deserve to. This immortality, this life exploding within me—it wasn't mine. I couldn't ask Lend to love me like this. My own soul was the only one I could offer. Now that I knew I had one, it was enough. I had never been empty.

“I have to let them go,” I whispered.

“Let the souls go?”

“They need to be released.”

“Not yet!” Reth said, anger twisting his smooth, golden voice.

I looked back at the stars. The souls nudged me forward, guiding my hand up.

“Evie!” Lend said, panicked.

I looked down at him. I was rising into the air; I couldn't stop. If I didn't release them now, I didn't think I'd be able to. Finding the outline of the stars, I pushed my hand forward—and met resistance. This was it.

“Stop.” Reth's voice was hard, commanding. My arms wouldn't move. “That is not the gate you need to open. If you let them go now, all this will be wasted. We need those souls!
This is not the right gate
.”

I focused, willing the fire to concentrate in my arm. It grew even brighter, turning from gold to pure white, blinding in its intensity. And then, still pulling against the power of Reth's voice, I lifted a single finger and traced the stars, the light leaving a trail of white between each point until the entire gate was outlined.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Go,” I whispered. For the briefest moment I felt peace, gratitude; then excruciating pain as the fire ripped straight out of my body and shot through the gate of stars. Just when I thought I could stand the pain no longer, it was over. Almost. A single lingering soul—Lish, my Lish—paused, passing through my heart in what I knew was her last good-bye.

As my body went cold and dark I fell toward the earth, wondering again what death would feel like. I smiled, grateful I had at least known my own soul if only for a moment, and then everything went black.

B
eing
dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless. Maybe I was in hell, but I really didn't think I deserved that. Besides, hell was supposed to be hot, and I was freezing. Absolutely freezing.

I moved my legs, trying to get more comfortable. Holy bleep, I wasn't dead! If I were dead, I wouldn't have my body. As my soreness settled in, I knew I definitely had a body. That hurt. All over. I forced my eyelids open, feeling like they weighed twenty pounds each.

Not hell. Not heaven, either, because I really hoped that
place would have more taste than this ugly paneled ceiling with fluorescent lights. “Ugh,” I said, figuring that one word summed up both how I felt and what I thought of the decor.

I raised my head, ignoring the swimming lights in front of my eyes, and looked down at myself. I was covered with several blankets and one of my arms had a lovely little IV taped to it. Then I noticed something really bad—my dress was gone. I might not have been dead, but if anything had happened to that dress, someone was going to be.

Lifting my arm to scratch the area around the IV tape, I stopped. The glow—the liquid fire that had been there since Reth forced it on me—was gone. All of it, every last bit from him and Vivian. I was both relieved and sad. With my flames gone, everything was strangely heavy, like gravity pulled harder than normal on me, binding me to the earth.

I felt around my body then, looking for damage. Nowhere seemed especially sorer than anywhere else. I sighed, laying my head back down. Maybe I was here because I was dying. Maybe letting go of all those souls hadn't killed me, but I didn't have enough left to hang on for much longer.

Or maybe I should just push the freaking call button and ask a nurse. The worst that could happen was them coming in with stun guns, having figured out I was a freak of nature. I paused. That would actually be pretty bad. I'd take a nap first. At least then I'd be well rested if I was going to
be interrogated or something.

I fell into a strange, exhausted sleep. I thought I heard the door open, but couldn't muster the energy to open my eyes or move. Someone set something down on the table next to me, then sat on the edge of the bed. A gentle hand brushed the hair back from my forehead, and then lips brushed the top of my head.

The bed sprung back and soft steps padded away. I heard a small, soft sigh—a happy one.

“Raquel?” I murmured, finally forcing my eyes open. The room was empty. Disappointment washed over me. I had been sure it was her. I wanted it to be her.

A vase with an explosion of bright tropical flowers was on the table next to me, with a small card. My hands trembling, I opened it. It read, “Be
happy
, my darling girl. You'll be missed more than you'll ever know. Love, Raquel.”

I looked back at the door, my heart fluttering. I wanted to say good-bye, even if it would make things harder in the long run, even though I knew Raquel wouldn't leave IPCA and I wouldn't go back. Our time together really was over.

Suddenly I missed her more than ever before.

I wiped a small tear away, feeling very alone in this stupid room with its salmon-colored walls and worn furniture. Where was Lend? I was more than a little disappointed. If this were
Easton Heights
, Lend would have been by my bedside the whole time, having cried himself to sleep holding my hand. Then I'd gently wake him up and we'd kiss like
crazy. Of course, we'd also break up before the end of the episode, which I didn't like quite so well.

My stomach tied itself in horrible knots. Maybe Lend didn't want to be here. I had, after all, nearly sucked out his soul. I closed my eyes as the memories of what happened overwhelmed me. “Vivian,” I whispered, wanting to vomit. Had I killed her?

A throat cleared next to me and I sat up in bed, startled. “Raquel?”

“Hardly.”

“Oh, go away,” I snapped, turning to look at Reth, who had made himself comfortable in a chair next to my bed.

He glared at me. “I'm very disappointed in you, Evelyn. After all that time, everything I gave you. Very disappointed indeed.”

I laughed. What can I say, I was loopy from pain and an empty stomach. And I was done with Reth and his crap. “Ouch. I'm devastated.”

“Not only did you release the soul I gave you but you didn't even fill your end of the prophecy. The prophecy I worked very hard to make sure you lived to hear, I might add.”

“See, that's the problem with putting your prophecies in vague poem form. Because I filled it exactly—released all those souls.”

His eyes flashed with fury. “You weren't meant to release
them
, you silly child. You were meant to release
me
. Us.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“It's hardly your business now!”

“Sorry. Guess you should have been clearer. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to sleep.”

He stood. “I am not finished with you yet.”

I lifted my hand, palm toward him. “Really? Because lemme tell you, having all those souls inside me, I'd be lying if I said it didn't give me a real taste for them. So unless you want to lose yours, I suggest you stay far, far away from me. Got it?”

His face went ice cold and he smiled at me. “You cannot last on your own, my love. You will need more, and then you'll become what you're meant to be. When that happens, I'll forgive you.” He turned and walked through a door in the wall.

I exhaled. I couldn't believe he had been dissuaded that easily, and I was sure he'd be back someday. But his words wouldn't leave me. I loved life. I loved this world, and I especially loved Lend. I didn't want to leave it, but I wouldn't become Vivian, no matter how strong the temptation would be.

I pulled down the neck of my hospital gown and gasped. My heart, which I had expected to be as cold and empty as my wrist, glowed with a faint light. It was subtler than when Reth put soul in me, but there was definitely still something there. It was both puzzling and comforting.

The doorknob turned, startling me. I yanked my gown
back into place as Lend burst in, out of breath and upset. “I'm so sorry! The doctor said you probably wouldn't wake up for a few more hours, and so I thought I'd—Evie, I'm so sorry, I wanted to be here.”

I smiled as he rushed across the room and took my hand in his. It was nice to see his real face again. As amazing as his soul was, I'd rather see him. “So what happened?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Man, it was crazy. After Reth took you away, I called my dad. We raced back and saw you and Reth. You were all weird and floated up in the sky, then you went stiff and you dropped. I caught you, but I kinda didn't do a great job.” He looked sheepish. “Your head hit the ground pretty hard. So Reth said in his stupid commanding voice, ‘I'll be taking her with me,' and I said, ‘Over my dead body,' and he shrugged like that was fine by him and started toward me. But then my dad, who had gone back to the car as soon as you started floating, came out with his golf club. I never understood why he keeps custom golf clubs everywhere since he doesn't actually golf. But then he held it up in the air and said, ‘I've got a nine iron that says otherwise.'”

“You're kidding me.”

Lend shook his head, his eyes shining with excitement. “No, dead serious, it was so freaking awesome. Reth's face went all furious—it looked like he was going to kill both of us. Then he just turned around and walked through a tree and disappeared.”

“Wow. Your dad rocks.”

“I know. So then we took you inside—What happened to the doorknob, by the way?”

“Umm, oops?”

He laughed. “Anyway, we found Vivian on the floor. I thought she was dead, but my dad found a pulse. When you didn't wake up right away we brought you both here. You'll be fine, just some minor burns and hypothermia, which was kind of hard to explain.”

I laughed drily. I had managed to stop Vivian, free the souls, and not kill anyone in the process. Or die myself. I had done okay. “Where is Viv?”

“She was here, but I think she's gone now. My dad says she'll probably never wake up, so he found someone who could take care of her.”

I frowned, wondering who on earth could do that until I remembered my first visitor. Raquel would take good care of her. The idea of Vivian, asleep and alone forever, made me sad, but at least she'd be safe from the faeries.

I wondered when the same thing would happen to me, when I would burn out.

“So, I've got a question,” Lend said. “What did you mean when you said if you kept the souls you could stay with me?”

I bit my lip. Lend had no idea that he was immortal, his soul brilliant and eternal. I opened my mouth to tell him but couldn't choke out the words. It felt like as soon as I said
it, that would be the end for us. “I don't know.” I shrugged and tried to smile. “All those souls burning me up inside, I was kind of whacked out.”

“What did it feel like?”

I shifted uncomfortably. Remembering it made me feel even colder; I wanted to forget how amazing it was. I couldn't have that again. Ever. “Crowded?”

“Well, I'm just glad you're okay.”

“Me, too. So, what was so important that you had to leave?”

“Ah.” He plopped a bag on the bed next to me. “I thought you'd want something to do until you got released.” He pulled out a box. A boxed set, to be more specific. The first two seasons of
Easton Heights
.

“Shut up!” I shrieked. “You really
were
worried about me, weren't you?”

He smiled but the strain showed through. “I was really scared I'd lost you.”

I scooted over, patting the bed next to me. “No such luck. And now you get to watch forty straight hours of
Easton Heights
with me!”

He turned on the first disk, shaking his head, then got onto the bed next to me. “Small price to pay for getting to hold your hand.”

I wasn't cold anymore.