Parker's Island (16 page)

“Okay, you’re off the hook!  I’m really sorry for being so mean.  I don’t know what I thought you were doing
,
or where you went
,
but I should have known you wouldn’t just run off with some guy.”

“Is that what you thought?”
I asked, feeling hurt.

“The way you were acting when I talked to you on the phone and then the way you were clinging to Brian, like you were begging for
f
orgiveness, had me wondering. 
I should have known that you would never do that
,
”
s
he said, looking very contrite.
  “Well, maybe if it was Logan
,
”
s
he grinned and saw the look on my face.  She looked instantly remorseful.  “I’m sorry
,
I didn’t mean to bring him up.  Of course you wouldn’t…
”

“Don’t be sorry!”
I said a bit too harshly.  “I would have thought the same thing if
I was you
,
” I said, trying to cover my tracks.

It was only 5:30
in the afternoon
when we were done talking, but grief and exhaustion had taken its toll.  I told Molly that I needed some sleep and that I still wasn’t feeling very
well
. 

“How about we get into our pajamas, p
ut on a movie and do nothing?” s
he said, relieved that I was safe and sound and that we had finally talked things through.

“That sounds great.  You pick a movie.  I’ll go change
,
” I said, grateful to have a few minutes alone in the bathroom to catch my breath.  I had lied so much lately, I knew I couldn’t keep it all straight.  I had to come up with yet another lie for Brian.  I would also have to lie to my parents again when they asked me what I did over the weekend.  The guilt weighed heavy on my mind, but not as much as the grief.  In a short 24 hours, I had lost my innocence and the love of my life.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to bounce back this time.

As I crawled into bed, Molly looked at me funny. “What are you wearing?”
s
he asked, pointing at my pajama top.

“Pajamas
,
” I said.

“What are you wearing under your
pajama
’s
?”
s
he asked, grabbing the collar of the shirt I was wearing under my pajama top.

“It’s just a shirt.  I was kind of cold
,
” I lied.

“Okay, but I could turn up the heat if you
’
r
e
cold
,
”
s
he said.
  “Isn’t that a guys’ shirt?”
s
he asked, looking closer at the buttons.

“No,
and I’m warm enough now, thanks
,
” I
lie
d, and rolled over, burying my face in Logan’s shirt
.  I had kept it on under the blouse he gave me, tucking it into the skirt.
  I breathed deeply, trying to keep him fresh in my memory and soon drifted off to sleep, praying that I could at least dream of him.

I slept all night, waking up feeling no better than the day before.  I missed Logan
terribly
and I had hurt Brian deeply.  I sighed, sat up and ran my fingers through my hair.

“Did you sleep well?”
Molly asked.

“
I guess.  Molly, would you mind driving me over to Brian’s house?  I really need to talk to him.”

“Yeah, okay. 
Do you want to call him and tell
him you
’
r
e
coming?”

“No, I just need to go
.
I’m afraid he won’t want to see me if I give him the option
.”

I got dressed, pulled my hair back into a ponytail and grabbed my bag
.  I knew
that Brian wouldn’t be the only person I would have to lie to today
.
I
still
had to go home.  “One thing at a time
,
” I
told
myself.

“Delaney,
is
one of your earrings missing?”

I reached up to touch my ear lobes, and sure enough, one of the earrings my parents’ had given me for graduation was gone.  “Oh no, what am I going to do?  Will this nightmare
n
ever end?” I said, realizing I had no idea where it was or what I would tell my parents. More lies!

Molly pulled up in front of Brian’s house.  I told her thanks and that I would walk home
from Brian’s house after I made my apologies
.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.   It wasn’t your fault you got sick.”

“
He needs to hear what happened.  I was too upset to talk to him yesterday.”

“Okay, go talk to him.  I’ll wait here until
I know he’s home.”

“You don’t have to wait
.
I’m walking home
,
anyway.”

“Okay.  Call if you change your mind.  Oh, look who I’m talking to
…
the only person I know without a cell phone
,
”
s
he grinned.

“Don’t forget about my
parents
.  Th
at make
three
people
you know
without cell phones!”
I
half smiled.

“
Well, use Brian’s phone if you need me.  Good luck.”

I watch
ed
her drive away, took a deep breath and headed to Brian’s front door.

“Hello.  May I help you?”  A woman I assumed was Brian’s mother answered the door.

“Um, hi
,
I’m Delaney Miller.  I was wondering if
…
”
             
“Delaney, I feel like I
already know you!
  Brian talks about you
all the time.  I hope you two had fun at the party.  Brian didn’t say much about it, but he was s
ure
excited that you two were going together.
”  She hugged me and immediately invited me in.

“Oh, okay.  Thank you.”  I followed her inside and noticed Brian standing at the foot of the stairs.  He didn’t say a
word;
he just looked at me
with his arms folded across his chest
.

“Brian, don’t be rude.  Say hi
,
”
h
is mother’s scolded.

“Hi
,
”
h
e said obediently.

“Hi.  Um, can I talk to you for a few minutes?”

“I’ll leave you two alone.  Would you like to stay for lunch
,
dear?”

“Um no,
but
thank you
,
anyway.  My parents are expecting me home soon
,
” I smiled at her. 

I looked up at Brian, waiting for him to answer me.  “Please, I need to talk to you
,
” I asked again.

“Fine
,
”
h
e said and headed up the stairs.

“Um, where are we going?”

“To my room.”

“Won’t your parents mind?”

“They trust me
,
”
h
e said,
looking back at me with obvious doubt as to whether
he believed
I
was trustworthy.

I took his double meaning in stride and followed him up the stairs.  His room was pretty much what I expected
;
sports equipment and posters of
football
players scattered throughout.
  It was spotlessly clean though, no doubt due in part to his mother.

“Your room’s great
,
” I said.

“What d
o
you want
,
Delaney
?”
h
e said, obviously in no mood for small talk.

“
I needed to apologize, for starters.”

“For what?” 

He was definitely
not going to make this easy for me.
  “For making you worry, for not apologizing
yesterday
and…”

“And what?”

“And I wanted to explain about how I ended up with
…
L
ogan.”  Even saying his name made me sound pathetic and I knew by the way Brian gritted his teeth
that
I was trying to win a losing battle.

I wasn’t having the best luck apologizing,
and
then it suddenly struck me; I
hadn’t
do
ne
anything wrong.
  I was a victim and I
ha
dn’t ha
d
any
idea that Logan would even be there.

“Brian
,
I’m sorry that you were so worried and
that you
had to spend the entire night looking for me.
Trust
me;
the night didn’t end up as either of us
had
planned.
I was
sick
.
Y
ou know that
,
because you were too.”

“I know
,
”
h
e said, softening a bit.

“And, as far as Logan is concerned, I swear to you I didn’t know he was there!  There was no plan for us to meet.  It just happened.  I didn’t even know he live
d
on the island!” I said, obviously angry now.

“Okay
,
”
h
e said, the truth starting to finally sink in.

“Okay, that’s it?”  I was really angry now, but I was taking it out on the wrong guy.  It was Chad and Logan
that
I was angry with.  Chad for obvious reasons and Logan for making me think he cared about me and then
pushing me away.

“What do you want me to say
,
Delaney?”

“
I want you to tell me that you believe me!”

“I do believe you
,
”
h
e said, reaching out to take my hand.

I pulled my hand away and said, “I didn’t sleep with him, I swear it!”  I
said, my own words taking me by surprise.

I was standing in the middle of his room with my hands balled into fists, shaking. 

I was expecting more of a fight, expecting him to challenge my declaration, but instead, he walked over to me and hugged me.  “I’m sorry.  You were sick and as out of it as I was.  I was just so worried.  And when I saw who was driving that car, I got a little crazy. 
I was
jealous.
” 

I found myself hugging him
back
, needing comfort
.  “Why couldn’t I love Brian?
M
y life would be so much easier
,
” I thought to myself.

“
Excuse me
...”
Brian’s mom called from the doorway.

I pulled back, feeling ashamed for being caught in a hug, as if I had done some unspeakable act.

Brian laughed and put his arm arou
nd my waist.  “What’s up Mom?” h
e
aske
d, pulling me closer.

“I was just letting you know
that
lunch is ready.  Delaney, please join us.  There’s plenty.”

“I really should go home.  My parents are expecting me.  Thank you for the invitation.
  Next time
though
, if you’ll have me.
” 

“
You’re welcome any time. 
I was just outside and I didn’t see your car
,
”
s
he said.

“Oh,
I don’t drive.
I don’t live too far from here.  I’m going to walk home.”

“Don’t be silly.  Brian will give you a ride home.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you a ride
,
”
h
e said, grinning at my obvious discomfort
of being caught
in his room and in his mother’s presence.