Past Will Haunt (14 page)

Ethan stepped out of the elevator just as the other one closed. With his profile in hand, he headed through the bullpen. His desk was at the opposite side of the area, but he knew Gabe would want this paper ASAP.

When he found his door locked, he saw the two desks right outside his area.

All the Feds knew that he put his two favorite agents right where he could see them. By favorite, he meant two biggest trouble makers.

Thank God he was across the room.

The last thing he needed was to be in Gabe’s spotlight. He actually felt sorry for the agents who were.

It had to suck.

Ethan was irritated that he’d come all the way into work and Gabe wasn’t there. Normally, the man worked late into the night. In fact, he was the first to arrive and last to leave.

So many of the agents believed he slept in his office.

He wouldn’t be surprised.

Well, he might as well leave the assessment on the nearest desk.

Sitting, he grabbed a pen.

As he glanced up at the name on the cubicle wall, he scribbled it on the top of the folder.

E. LaRue,

Here is a profile for Gabe. Can you make sure he gets it in the morning? It’s for the Butcher case.

He was gone for the night.

--E.B

As he got ready to leave, something assaulted his senses. There was that smell again.

It was like cookies and spice and everything nice. It caught him off guard and appealed on some primitive level in him.

Ethan looked around.

He wasn’t quite sure where it was coming from, but it gave him the chills. In fact, it also made a warmth wash over him.

It was incredibly pleasant.

For that moment, he leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. It kind of reminded him of when his mother would bake him cookies as a kid. There would be that moment when he’d realize what she was doing.

Ethan, for the first time, in a long time, let the relaxation take over. He let the memories come, and the peace settle in. He wished he knew the name of that perfume. He’d spray it all around his brownstone.

It made him…happy.

Maybe one day he’d find the source.

Standing, he opted to get ready to leave. He was going out in the field tomorrow with Jay, so he needed to get some sleep.

He hoped the case brought him some excitement.

Ethan liked to live on the edge. He needed a challenge and adventure.

He had so much to prove to the world, and so little time to do it. Agents burned out fast, and he already knew his fate.

It was destiny.

       
         
* * *
  B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x   * * *

Across Town

Livy was nearly home. She had a few more feet until she made it to her steps. While she didn't mind walking around in the city alone, tonight, she was actually worried.

It felt like someone was watching her.

Why?

She didn't know.

The hairs on the back of her neck were standing, and she didn't want to risk it. She didn't have her sidearm with her. When she got changed before dinner, she opted to leave it at home.

Now, she wished she hadn’t made such a rookie mistake. If she made it home, she’d never do that again.

She swore on her life.

As she approached the steps, she heard the running from behind her.

Someone was about to reach her.

Livy got ready to defend herself. As a hand touched her arm, she spun, swinging out with her fist.

She made contact.

The man was hit squarely in the groin and crumbled to his knees. That one shot was all it took to fell the giant man.

Then she realized who she took down. In the light from the streetlamp, she saw Gabe.

Shit!

She just gave her boss a nut shot.

This wasn’t going to end well.

“Oh my God!”

He fought the need to throw up.

“Gabriel! Are you okay?” she asked, crouching down beside him.

“I’ll. Be. Fine.”

She was beyond embarrassed. Oh, she’d gotten her wish. She wanted to put her hands on Gabe’s junk, and she just did. This was proof that the universe hated her guts.

This night was going from bad to worse.

“Oh, Gabriel, I’m so sorry,” she said, helping him to her steps. “I heard running, and I went into defense mode. I was freaked out that you were trying to hurt me.”

Yeah, someone definitely was feeling some pain. It was him and the balls now relocated to his throat.

He made a mental note not to do that again. Livy wasn’t screwing around. She didn't pull that strike.

“It’s okay. I didn't want kids anyway.”

Livy sat beside him and pulled a tissue out of her purse. Little beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. As she wiped them away, he began breathing normally again.

“I am so very sorry.”

“I’m okay.”

She stayed by his side.

“So, this is your place,” he said, trying to regain his dignity. He was a large man, and he’d been dropped by a MUCH smaller woman.

If this got out…

“Yes, I know it’s further out from work, but I love the neighborhood. Generally, it’s safe here. Then again, my neighbors might want me to leave after this. Apparently, I’m a menace to the opposite sex.”

He glanced over. “I’m sorry I scared you. I was trying to catch you before you made it inside.”

“It’s okay. What did you need?” she asked.

Gabe felt that wave of wariness as he had a choice to make. Why did he race after her? Could he actually pull this off?

No. He was chickening out.

“I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. I was worried about you.”

So, he’d been the one following her.

Well, at least she felt better.

“Thank you. I appreciate your concern. I’ll let you get home. I’m sure you have more important things to do than make sure I’m safe.”

Her words were like a blade to his heart. She was seriously over him and their situation. In that moment, he knew she was going to follow through and walk away. Maybe it was silly, but that broke him. Maybe that was one more reason why he didn't get attached. His father had been married to the FBI, and his wife had left him. His uncle had been in the same boat.

Gabe assumed he’d have that same outcome.

It scared him. She scared him. Livy made him feel things that could destroy him.

“Olivia,” he said, touching her cheek.

She gave him the opportunity to give it one more shot. “Would you like to come in?” she asked. “I think I have whiskey in the liquor cabinet.”

Gabe knew he had a choice to make. So, he stood. “I’d love to come in, Livy, but I won’t.”

She stared up at him. This was the last time she was going to try to reach him. She couldn’t keep doing this. Apparently, he did just want to make sure she got home safely.

“Oh, okay. I understand.”

“I don’t think you do.” He was about to do something so incredibly stupid. Before he raced after her, he measured it all in his head. There were two choices, and he’d weighed his options.

She was worth the risk.

“Maybe what I should have said was this—if I come in, I won’t be going home.”

That caught her off guard. There was no way she’d heard what he’d said. It had to be the wine that made her hearing go and her mind fuzzy.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Gabriel.”

“No, it’s my turn, Livy. I need to get this off my chest. I’m all twisted up in knots, and I don’t like it at all. In fact, I hate it. I pride myself on being controlled, and this isn't like me.”

He was thinking about the kiss. It made his body ache even more than it had been before she touched him. At that moment, he was erect, and that was despite getting nailed in the balls.

She just didn't notice.

“Okay, Gabriel. I understand.”

“I need all the facts to make a logical decision. I need to see the whole picture because that’s how I live my life.”

“Okay.”

“Did you stalk me to the park today? I think it’s only fair you be honest with me so I can work through this.” And he needed to see if she’d lie. He already knew the truth, but he wanted to see if Olivia Spencer was dead serious about what was potentially brewing between them.

“Yes.”

“Why, Livy? I need to know why.”

“I did it because I wanted to see you outside the FBI building. I’m interested in you. There’s something about you that makes me feel all mushy and stupid inside. When you’re around, I find myself staring. I can’t help it.”

He watched her. This woman was gorgeous. He wanted to run his fingers down her cheek.

“I’m a horrible bet. I’m bossy, loud, controlling, and incredibly difficult to get along with. I get focused on my job, and I forget everything else around me. I don’t know how to be in a relationship with anyone, because the only love affair I’ve ever had is with the FBI.”

She listened.

“She’s my mistress. If you get entangled with me, you won’t be happy. You’ll rarely see me, and I’ll probably make you cry more than anyone else would. I’m going to hurt you, Livy, and I hate that it’ll happen.”

“I don’t cry easily, Gabriel. I think you’re forgetting that I have the same job as you do. It goes both ways.”

“No, when I say that I’m obsessed with work, I really mean it. I have a five year plan, and it’s not going to be an easy journey. Any woman who signs up for it is going to be miserable. I’m going to make you hate me.”

She saw the hurt in his eyes. In the streetlamp glow, she could see he was doing something he never did before. His eyes gave him away. He was giving her a look inside.

So, she opted to lighten the mood.

“Holy shit! You’re a male Elizabeth. No wonder you two get along so well. Now I get why the both of you have to work overtime and give the FBI more of your souls.”

He didn't even flinch.

“That’s the point. I’m not a good choice. I sold my soul years ago.”

“Gabe, you’re thinking too hard.”

“Am I?” he asked, running his hands through his hair in frustration. This woman drove him to madness. She turned it all upside down. Now he had to deal with the ramifications of that one kiss.

“Yes, you are. This should be my choice, shouldn’t it? If I want to risk my heart, I should be allowed to make the decision without you telling me what to do. You’re my boss, not my keeper.”

He watched her with a wariness he seldom felt about anything else in life. He’d been shot, chased, nearly killed, and none of it scared him like this.

Like her.

“I don’t know how to stop control freaking it to death. I don’t know how to…live. This is new to me.”

Livy felt horrible for him.

He was being serious. Gabe really didn't know how to relax and let his heart lead him.

“It’s easy, Gabriel. All you have to do is jump in. You close your eyes, hold your breath, and don’t look back.”

He didn't move.

Livy laughed.

“Or you find a woman who can do it for you,” she offered. Then, she took the plunge.

Livy stood and found a step that would put her on the same level with his face. The entire time, he watched her warily. “Oh, Gabriel, what am I going to do with you?” she asked.

He didn't have an answer.

What he wanted to yell was,
‘love me’
! He’d never felt any of that in his life. He had a taste of what it would feel like to be wanted, and he longed for it to never end.

That was why he buried it under work.

Her fingers gently stroked the worry lines on his face, but it didn't ease his stress.

“We shouldn’t.”

“You’re probably right,” Livy said, moving her mouth closer to his. “This is the close your eyes part.”

He did what she said.

“Next comes the hold your breath.”

“Livy,” he whispered, when her mouth was a breath from his. He could smell the wine she’d been drinking, her perfume, and the scent of her skin.

He craved her.

Despite it all, he wanted her in the worst way.

“Now we jump in.” When he tensed, she offered him the best reassurance she could. “Gabriel, I won’t hurt you. I promise.”