Pastor Needs a Boo (10 page)

Tatiana Townsend needed a change in her life, and was hoping she could work her way back into Denzelle's good graces. That is why she had schemed and plotted to get Todd to accept the job offer from Duke University. She wanted to be closer to Denzelle and all of the church action that was bound to be associated with a prominent and well-respected pastor in the Gospel United Church.

Things had changed in the years since she left Denzelle. Back then he was a small-time pastor with limits on his budget. Tatiana rubbed her hand across the smooth, black crocodile leather of her Nancy Gonzales purse. There was no way she would have been able to afford a $2,700 pocketbook on Denzelle's old salary. Only someone earning money like Todd could do a girl right in the purse department.

But things had changed. Denzelle's church had over three thousand members who were faithful in their tithes and offerings, and it showed. Plus, Denzelle was a busy pastor, and he had money coming in from all kinds of sources to run his vast ministries. What had she been thinking to let this fine, sexy man go for Todd?

Tatiana slid her hand threw the loop in Denzelle's arm like they were still a couple, and then gazed down in the direction of that woman in the lilac suit, hoping she'd see them like this. Marsha didn't miss that bold move. She also didn't miss witnessing Denzelle removing Tatiana's hand and signaling to an usher to come and take the girl to her husband.

Once Tatiana was put in her place, Marsha, Veronica, and Keisha walked up to the pastor to shake his hand. Denzelle gave both Keisha and Veronica warm handshakes. But he saved the hug for Marsha, laughing when she pulled back, being careful to give him the church hug—which was a very chaste hug, when you grabbed a person from the side and then quickly moved back and away from them.

“I won't bite, Marsha,” Denzelle whispered in her ear, and then chuckled when she looked up at him, perplexed.

Keisha didn't miss a thing. And she made a mental note to call Dayeesha to get some 411 on what was going on with the pastor. 'Cause if her expert eyes served her right, Reverend Flowers had it kind of bad for Marsha and was trying to play it off like he didn't have it as bad as he did.

“Men,” she whispered.

Pastor looked like the kind of brother who would run from matters of the heart. She'd bet the last few dollars in her bank account that he'd told his own-self something real dumb and stupid like “I am going to put all of my time and energy into my work. As long as I work from sun up to sun down, I won't have to worry about worrying that I am sad and lonely and with no decent quality of life to speak of.”

Keisha looked at the robe Reverend Flowers was wearing and thought, “It's a shame that Rev is walking around, sharp as can be, and there is no one in his life to tell him how good he looks in his preacher uniform before he comes out to minister to the flock.”

She walked down the hall to the bathroom and almost walked right into Tatiana Townsend. Keisha's first response was to show her home training and say “excuse me.” But Tatiana's expression was so hard and full of venom that she decided to throw manners to the wind. Keisha stopped and stared Tatiana up and down, and then rolled her eyes at the woman when they made eye contact.

Tatiana drew back, surprised that this ghetto church girl took her on like that. She looked at Keisha's outfit. She'd seen it in a J.C. Penny's catalog. It was very cute and fit Keisha well. But it was still from J.C. Penny's.

She turned her mouth down and mumbled, “Cute but cheap” loud enough for Keisha to overhear her.

Keisha took in Tatiana's outfit. It could have paid her rent for almost three months. She said, “Frankenstein-shaped-head heifer” loud enough for everybody to hear her.

A few folk chuckled. And one little girl tugged at her mother's hand and said, “Mommy, I told you that lady in
The Young and the Restless
lady clothes looked like she is a Frankenstein lady. She's kinda pretty like. But her head is big and square and looks like it used to have bolts in it.”

The mother put a forefinger to her lips and whispered, “Shhh, it's not very nice to call people Frankensteins out loud and in church, Baby.”

“But, Mommy, that's how she looks. You are always telling me to tell the truth. Jesus always told the truth. And sometimes He said things people didn't want to hear Him say.”

The mother didn't quite know what to say, because her baby was right. She leaned down and whispered, “It's true, but we don't want to talk about it out loud. It might hurt the lady's feelings.”

The little girl smiled and said, “Let's finish this in the car. Can I text Daddy and tell him about the lady?”

“Not right now, Baby,” the mother answered, wishing the Frankenstein lady would quit staring at them like that.

Tatiana wanted to slap Keisha silly, and then give what was left over to that bad little girl. She must have fell and bumped her head to think she should think about joining a church Denzelle pastored. She didn't like the people here, and it was clear the feeling was mutual. Come to think of it, the people at his old church didn't like her.

The worse part of this fiasco was coming to terms with Denzelle not wanting any part of her. Like most folk who called the shots in a painful breakup, Tatiana was having a hard time digesting that all of the stuff she did to her ex-husband made him want her as much as he wanted to wear those pants Todd had on this morning. Denzelle wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit. And it looked like he didn't want to be caught dead with Tatiana, either.

It was amazing how upset folk who rejected and dogged-out a good person became when they discovered that person didn't want them anymore. Tatiana had a big ego, and she always believed Denzelle would be so happy for her to want him back. Based on how he was acting, it was clear Denzelle didn't even want her as a member of his church.

After seeing Denzelle in that robe and watching the women ogle him, it was clear that the reason Tatiana was so unhappy was because she was married to a trauma surgeon. It wasn't a doctor that would make her happy. Tatiana needed a preacher to be happy.

Tatiana didn't know why she hadn't thought of this when she was wishing Todd would die, so she could be happy and have enough money to enjoy her happiness. It was Todd's bank account and being the wife of a well-known surgeon that gave Tatiana the illusion that her happiness was with Todd Townsend. But now she knew better and could finally see the light.

It was clear that being the wife of a prominent pastor was the answer to all of her problems. Plus, as the first lady, Tatiana would actually have more clout in her church than she would as a rich doctor's wife. And if her husband ran for bishop and won? That was like winning the Indy 500. The bishop's wife, or the Episcopal Supervisor, could be an enviable position if you worked it right.

On second thought, Tatiana was glad Denzelle dissed her. She didn't think he had any interest in running for bishop. And being a pastor's wife wouldn't suffice. Tatiana would need more prestige than that.

She closed her eyes and tried to think of a good-looking and wealthy pastor who would run for bishop in the next year.

“Xavier!” Tatiana exclaimed out loud and then started coughing, hoping no one heard what she said. There weren't a lot of Xavier's in the Gospel United Church, and somebody would figure out that she was talking about Reverend Xavier Franklin

Xavier Franklin was the perfect choice for a new husband. And with her by his side, Reverend Franklin would be a sure-shot winner in that very expensive and competitive race for a place in the church's Episcopacy.

Tatiana was going to have to work fast, though. There was a lot to do if she planned on becoming the first lady of Xavier's church before the Triennial Conference rolled around. She didn't know how she was going to work that out, however. First, Tatiana was still married to Todd, who considered their union a 'til death do us part kind of deal. Second, she had gotten used to living well off of Todd's money. And third, Xavier was married, too. It was a good thing that neither of them had children.

Maybe she and Todd could separate, she would stay in the house, Todd could pay her household expenses, and Tatiana and Xavier could become an item. A legal separation would give her a legal right to have a man in her life. It would also keep the money flowing in until the divorce was final. And if Tatiana could make Todd think she was coming back to him, he'd probably be more likely to pay what she wanted him to pay.

Tatiana had walked all the way back to the front of the church in this dreamlike state, working out the details of her plan while waiting on Todd to go and get the car. It all seemed so perfect until Todd pulled up and blew the horn to get her attention.

“Babe, you ready?” he asked, wondering what put that cat who ate the canary grin on his wife's face. Sometimes Tatiana made him uncomfortable when she went off into space like that. Todd wasn't much on this God thing. But Tatiana could make him spend some time in prayer when she looked like that.

Tatiana shook her head like she was coming out of a trance. She stared at Todd's top-of-the-line Mercedes and frowned. This was not going to be easy. She would have to keep Todd in check while she dated Xavier, help Xavier keep his wife in check while they dated, plan the divorces, and get some really ruthless lawyers to suck as much money out of Todd as possible.

“This is going to be some work,” Tatiana mumbled while getting in the car.

“What is going to be some work, Babe?” Todd asked, and then shivered when his wife looked at him. If he didn't know better, he could have sworn Tatiana had the hard glint of someone who wanted to kill you in her eyes.

Todd suppressed the second shiver that ran up his spine. He reached out and covered Tatiana's hand with his, hoping to ignite some warmth between them. He said, “Never thought I'd say this, but I want to come back to this church, Babe. And I don't care if the pastor is your ex-husband. This is a good church with good people in it.”

Tatiana was so shocked, she started hyperventilating. One of the key parts of this plan she had just started working on rested on Todd being a man who didn't like going to church. Now he was talking about coming back here to worship again?

“Are you alright, Babe?” Todd asked.

She started sweating and rolled the window down to get some air. The attack subsided. This was not going to be easy. This man was not going to give her up without a fight.

“I'm fine, Darling,” Tatiana answered weakly. She couldn't wait until she was with a man like Xavier, who could roll the word “baby” off of his tongue like it was something good to eat. She wanted to be called Baby like that so bad, it almost made her cry.

It suddenly occurred to Tatiana that if Todd wanted to come to Denzelle's church, it would be easier to figure out a way to get to Xavier's church without her husband. She was going to have to move fast to get to Xavier, make him fall in love with her, and then move toward becoming Xavier's wife.

The more she thought about planning how to make this work, the better she felt. It had been months since Tatiana felt like there was something to live for. Some days it took everything in her to get out of bed and pretend to Todd that she was happy and on top of the world. Now, just the thought of Xavier, whom she hadn't seen in over a year, made Tatiana feel all tingly and so alive.

As much as there was to do to put this plan into action, the one thing Tatiana didn't have to worry about was convincing Xavier to hook up with her. Xavier Franklin had always had a thing for Tatiana, and would jump at the chance to have an affair with the good Reverend Denzelle Flowers's ex-wife. The only thing Tatiana had to do was inform her new lover that this was not a fly-by-night thing. They would have an affair until they could get married.

The one real big problem in this plan was Xavier's wife, Camille Creighton Franklin, who had all of the money in their marriage. Camille came from money. Her mother had been a North Carolina black socialite, whose family owned the Classy Clean Car Wash Company.

Camille's father, Revered Dr. Creighton, had left her a boatload of cash when he died, too. He had been a prominent theologian and professor at Eva T. Marshall University's Divinity School. Reverend Creighton had also made a lot of money from his three cleaners—Clean Inside Cleaners.

Xavier came from people who didn't have a pot to piss in. He was smart, fine, sexy, and suave. He was not, however, a black man with good credit on his own, or some extra cash to dispose of on his other woman. Tatiana's good credit came from Todd paying off her AMX Black Card expenses on time every month. Xavier's purchasing power was totally dependent on that mean and ugly woman he married in exchange for some cash in the bank.

“Pimping show ain't easy,” Tatiana whispered to herself, with a tear streaming down her right cheek.

“Babe, are you going through the change?” Todd asked, now concerned.

“Yes, Darling. I am most definitely going through a change of life,” she said, and then cheered up. Change of life was the perfect way to describe what Tatiana was planning on going through.

Todd put the car in drive and glanced at his wife out of the corner of his eye. He could have sworn Tatiana had gone from a boo-hooing moment to absolute delight in less than sixty seconds. His car didn't go from zero to sixty that fast—and Todd drove a Mercedes CLS63 AMG. The el-cheapo cars in this class started at over ninety grand.

*   *   *

Dayeesha and Metro walked out of church with their three children skipping behind them just as the Townsends were about to pull off. Dayeesha did not miss the self-satisfied expression on Tatiana's face. She also didn't miss how quickly that smirk turned into a scowl when Tatiana's eyes locked on Dayeesha's suit.

“You know something, Metro,” Dayeesha said, and pointed at Tatiana, making sure that skank saw her. “She looks like the killing girl on a Lifetime Movie Network movie. You know, the woman who comes back to a town acting all innocent, when in reality she showed up just to kill some man or his wife at the high school reunion. And nobody believes she's that evil until a bunch of weird and crappy stuff starts happening to people.”