Perfect Freedom (25 page)

Rico gripped his shoulders and threw all his weight on him and drove into him with redoubled force. Robbie wanted to be punished for exulting in his subjugation. He had discovered the ecstasy of pain. Briefly, they were warriors locked in mortal combat and they both cried out with victory as they were rocked by orgasm. Rico drove his triumphantly into an adversary whose victory consisted of surrender and lay on him, breathing heavily. Robbie drifted in a stupefied daze of fulfillment, not daring to think how far he had moved toward accepting his future. He felt the hard power within him diminishing and he flexed newly discovered muscles to retain it.

“Some boys almost good like girls,” Rico said against his ear. “You very good, very wanting. Why you no got tits? You be perfect then.” He laughed. Robbie could feel it inside him.

“Have you done it with many boys?” Robbie asked hesitantly, still trying to fathom the mystery of what this meant for him.

“Sure not. Not many. Five, six maybe, when no girl. You the best. You be my girl. You give me present, show Rico how much you like fuck. Other boys give me present.”

“What kind of present?”

“Nice present. Money. I got no money. You no want to give me money?”

“Sure, but I haven't got any, either.” He knew Rico didn't mean it the way it sounded. He wasn't asking to be paid for what had happened. It was just sharing between friends. “Don't worry. I'll get some. I promise.” He uttered a little cry as the power surged into him and filled him again.

Rico chuckled. “You want Very much, you make me strong. I fuck you good again.”

“God, yes. I want what you want.”

“Sure. You my girl. Beautiful like girl. You give me nice present, maybe I give you a kiss.” He laughed as if he'd made a great joke.

Offering himself again for Rico's satisfaction confirmed everything he was discovering in himself. He had never guessed that his body would some day be capable of such rapture. He had never imagined that he would arrive at such sexual freedom. His mouth tried to join Rico's but it evaded him. He was aflame with love and untried sensuality but resigned himself to what he supposed was the normal restraint imposed by their being the same sex. As they approached another climax, he sensed the restraint being overcome, as if Rico had forgotten that he wasn't a girl. He doubted if a girl could bring his friend to more impassioned orgasm. Rico wanted him.

When they lay still, Robbie felt as if he were cradled in a great healing peace after surviving a violent storm and he plunged into a deep sleep with Rico still sprawled on top of him, slackly joined to him. He awoke alone and squinted against the glitter of sun in the light that filled the cabin. He was seized by panic at the memories that crowded his mind but was instantly lulled by the peaceful fulfillment that seemed to have seeped into his bones. His new sense of identity was strong. He was somebody at last. He was embarked on a life of his own. He would have private joys, private disappointments. He was alone but he knew what it was like to be wanted. It dispelled the loneliness that had always haunted him.

He became aware of the mess he had made of the sheet and rose, pulling the sheet up with him and tossing it into a corner. He replaced it with the top sheet. He must be sure to have a towel with him in the future. Rico would know how to dispose of soiled linen.

He went through his morning routine at the basin and crossed the passage to the cramped shower to wash thoroughly. The boat was moving smoothly through the sea and it was another brilliant day. He wanted to go above to join Rico but he also wanted a little time to himself, to grow accustomed to everything that was new in him. His body had become precious to him in a way it had never been before. He saw for the first time that it was beautiful.

He dried himself slowly in front of the mirror in his cabin, gloating over his tan and the smooth flow of muscle under his hairless skin. Now that he'd seen another to compare it to, he was impressed by his cock. Wondering if Rico would ever want to take it in his mouth made it lengthen and a little encouragement from his hand and the towel made it rigid. He swayed his hips, studying it. As pure form, he found it spellbinding—long and straight, the convoluted head suggestive of plant life, with an indefinably imperious lift unlike anything else he knew in nature. The more he studied it, the more conspicuous it appeared to be, more worthy of Rico's attention.

He dropped to the bunk and stretched out and caressed himself idly where he wished Rico would caress him. Although his mind shied away from the word, he knew that the monstrous thing called homosexuality was a threat he must beware. He wasn't a homosexual and could never become one, but apparently it happened to some people. Things he had thought and felt last night—this morning—might be deeply troubling if it hadn't happened with Rico. Finding a substitute for girls wasn't homosexuality. Rico would probably kill him if he suggested there was anything homosexual about it. If he could be transported to an exalted level of pure emotion and selfless adoration by acts that he had been taught to think of as abhorrent, he couldn't accept anything as truth without testing and re-examining it for himself.

Most people didn't really know very much. There was so much to learn. He had discovered that with his painting. For the immediate future, he had to learn how to make his friend so happy with what they had found with each other that he would forget any limits that two boys might ordinarily impose on themselves. He thought of Rico's “nice present.” He must find a reason for asking his mother for money.

He sprang up as his erection subsided. It was time to go out and discover how he would actually function now that he had acquired a whole new self. As a start, he could dispense with his confining trunks. He hitched a towel around his waist. His cock felt good swinging about freely as he headed to the aft companionway. Rico could get at it easily if he should suddenly take an interest in it. He found his mother writing a letter in the saloon and paused to greet her. She looked up serenely, her eyes gentle with love.

“How enchanting you're looking, my beloved. That tan is heavenly. Are you just getting up? What a lazybones. It's almost lunchtime.”

“Mercy. How decadent. I suddenly felt like sleeping my life away. Did I miss anything? Any sign of Greece?”

“Angelino says we'll sight land in the morning. We should be in by midday. It's really quite exciting, sailing all the way to Greece. I don't see how they know where we are in all this water. Your father thinks he's Odysseus.”

“I hope he has a better sense of direction. I wouldn't want to be out here for the next forty years or whatever it was. He's a great one for battling the elements. We're going to have to arrange for things to go wrong at home every now and then—power failures, water shortages—something for him to cope with now that he hasn't got his grapes.”

“That's very perceptive of you, my darling. Heaven forbid that we should simply relax into the lap of luxury.” They laughed at the head of the family.

“We'll have to tip the crew, won't we, Mum?” Robbie asked.

“I think that's the usual thing.”

“I thought it would be nice if I give Rico his. We've become good friends. It would make it more personal.”

“That's very thoughtful of you, darling.”

“Do you have any money? If I give it to him now, he'd be able to have some fun ashore. I'm sure he has a girl in every port.”

“What an odd life a boy like that must lead. I have some leftover lire. About fifty dollars, I think. Is that too much?”

“We'd better ask somebody but that sounds all right for now. Maybe we should give him more at the end.”

“It's very sweet of you, darling.” She was surprised by his thought. Over the last few days she had noticed a change in him that seemed to be growing more pronounced. He was more open, more easygoing, more—“ordinary” was the word that came unexpectedly to her mind. She loved his aloof, superior manner. It kept people at their distance. Was he going to turn into just another amiable boy, popular and easily absorbed into the herd? With the customary pang, she thought of girls. She hoped his sailor friend wouldn't try to include him in all his escapades.

“I think I'll go above and take a turn around the deck before lunch,” he said in mockingly hearty nautical style.

“You're too absurd.” She trilled youthful laughter and gathered up her writing things. “I'd better let Beppo set the table for lunch.”

Robbie let her precede him up the companionway. He had made another major discovery during the brief conversation. He was safe. If he had suggested making a gift to a girl he would have had to put up with jocular innuendo from his father, reproachful warnings from his mother. He could suggest giving money to a boy without sacrificing his privacy. Whatever took place between them, there were certain things that people didn't mention or even think about. He was free to be himself. Everybody didn't have to be silly about girls. What about bachelors? He could ask his mother for money again and give Rico lots of presents. His friend would be pleased.

His father was sitting at the wheel behind the binnacle where Rico had been last night. Robbie blushed and his eyes slid past him as they exchanged the usual pleasantries. He caught sight of Rico forward, bent over one of his ceaseless chores. He gave his towel a hitch for security and stepped up onto the narrow deck. Rico looked up as he approached.

“Hey, Robbie. What you do? Why you no come see me?” His smile was merry and his eyes full of familiar admiration. He radiated health and wholesome high spirits. There was no shadow of shame between them. They loved each other. He dropped down beside him.

“I just woke up.”

“We have big night.” Rico's teeth flashed with his laughter and he winked. “You like? You want again?”

“God, yes.” Rico had a big needle in his hand and was repairing a sail. They sat side by side on the deck, facing in opposite directions, their thighs touching. The freedom of Robbie's cock permitted it to swell deliciously at the contact. They were out of sight of the cockpit. “I just asked my mother for some money. I'll have a present for you.”

“You get?” Rico beamed with pleasure. Robbie soared giddily; it made him almost burst with happiness to see his friend happy. “You good friend. Nice present?”

“Fifty dollars.”

Rico's eyes sparkled with cupidity “Very fine. You
very
good friend. I give you kiss for that.” He slipped a hand under Robbie's towel and ran it along his thigh. Robbie's cock leaped up when the work-roughened hand reached it and moved on it with playful familiarity.

Rico didn't seem to find it particularly exciting but he was getting more interested in it. His hand was really feeling it for the first time. “You plenty big, Robbie. You crazy notta want girls. You change, I bet.”

“There's nothing to change. You're the one who says I don't want girls. I just don't think about them.”

Rico chuckled. “You get big hard cock when you think about me.” He moved his hand along it, exerting small pressures. When he reached the end, Robbie was shaken by a little shudder.

“My God, Rico. You're going to make me come.”

“Sure. You suck me. We come together. Nice. Hurry.” He pushed the sail aside and scrambled to the hatch. Robbie followed, trying to keep his erection under cover. He dropped down into Rico's arms where he was content to remain but Rico hustled him along the passage to his cabin. Robbie tossed his towel onto the bunk. Already he found it natural to be naked with his friend. His erection lifted shamelessly toward Rico as he stripped. They loved each other. They liked to be naked together. Rico reached for him and ran his hands over him down to his buttocks and pulled him in against him. Their bodies moved against each other, their joined erections prodding them into closer union. Rico chuckled.

“You got skin like a girl. Beautiful.” Their mouths met. Staggeringly, Rico darted his tongue out along his lips. Robbie's heart almost stopped. Was that the way to kiss? The caress of hands on him and the tongue against his lips overcame him. He dropped back onto the bunk and grabbed for the towel and was shaken by orgasm.

Rico stood over him and laughed. “I make you come quick. You do me now.”

Robbie was seized by a final spasm and he lifted his head. Rico's aggressive cock stood in front of him, demanding his attention. Could he do it again? If it was something that boys usually did together, why hadn't Rico done it for him? He supposed he hadn't given him much opportunity to. He shook off what seemed now like only token reluctance and lifted his hands to him. This rigid virile flesh had joined them to each other this morning. He mustn't think about that. His mouth was compelled to celebrate its phallic splendor. His tongue rolled over taut skin. His lips caressed it. He opened his mouth wide to allow its mysterious power to enter and claim him once more. How could he have thought this act was ugly or abject? It was sublime, the hard purity of male serving male, male obeisance to male supremacy. His hands roamed over Rico's chest. The hair on his body was a light froth of curls scattered over clean muscle and swarthy skin. His hands caressed all Rico's body and felt tremors of response racing through it. He held small tight buttocks and drew him closer in an ecstasy of worship, filling his mouth and stretching his jaws until his lips were brushed by hair. Rico gripped his head and put a hand under his chin and drove into his mouth with mounting urgency. His body was tensed and strained with lust, muscles and tendons as taut as his swelling cock. The imminence of Rico's climax made Robbie shake with excitement and his own cock filled out and lifted again. His hands flew about erratically over his agitated partner. He moaned with anticipation.

“You swallow now,” Rico commanded. His hips gave a great lurch, his knees buckled momentarily, and Robbie reeled with a second orgasm. His mouth was flooded once more with the pungent essence of his friend. He swallowed it avidly, grateful to receive it. Why had he wanted to spit it out? He continued to suck on dwindling flesh while Rico made little sounds of satisfaction in his throat. He had done it right this time.