Perfect Freedom (39 page)

“I'm head over heels with that dancer but so's everybody else. It's really rather common of me. I'd much rather be in love with you. Would you mind, darling?”

Nobody had ever called him “darling.” He supposed it was sort of girlish but he loved it. He wondered if he could ever use an endearment with a boy. “What would we do if you were? Nobody ever has been.”

“It would be quite tiresome for both of us unless you were in love with me too. That's the trouble with the dancer. Perhaps we'd better stick to sex. That's something you obviously know a great deal about. I've never known anybody so thrilling. It's such a relief to have the first time out of the way. It always reduces me to a quivering jelly. The pounding heart. The heaving chest. Too demolishing. Now we can wallow in the delights of our lovely young bodies.”

Robbie giggled. He couldn't imagine this exquisite creature's chest heaving, “You're so silly, darling.” He had said the word. If it was girlish, at least he had somebody to share his girlishness with. He felt as if they were drowning together in ineffable sweetness. He held him closer!

“I know I am, but nobody has ever said it so adorably,” Edward said.

Robbie drew his lips into his mouth. His cock lengthened into vigorous erection again. He shifted Edward over onto his stomach and sprawled out on top of him and covered his shoulders and back with kisses. He slid down and bit his buttocks. Edward uttered quick moans of pleasure. Robbie flipped him over onto his back and saw that he was nearly erect. His chest actually was heaving slightly. Robbie lifted himself to his knees and bent over him and completed his erection with his hands and mouth.

“You're turning me into a ravening beast, darling. I never dreamed I could function again so quickly.” Edward disentangled himself and pulled himself up and knelt in front of him. “Let me see us together. I do want a good look at yours.” They put their hands on each other's hips and held them so that their erections lifted side by side. “You see? I'm absolutely
puce
with envy. An imperial scepter. It's divine but do try not to let it grow much more, darling. I can't bear great stallions stampeding over me, can you?” Edward sat back on his heels and Robbie imitated him. They leaned forward with their heads together and stroked each other slowly. “Shall we have a cozy natter about sex? I don't think people talk about it nearly enough—not seriously, that is. The one or two boys I've known with cocks like yours were such aggressive brutes. Do you want to bugger me?”

“No, I'll never want that with anyone.”

“I thought you were about to a minute ago. I'd let you, of course. If I fall in love with you I might even want you to, but let's work up to it slowly. Nobody's ever wanted me to bugger them so we don't have to worry about that.”

“Why not? I'd love you to.”

“Oh no, darling. I couldn't. You're such a man.” Edward hitched himself around and sat with his back to the bulwark, his legs spread out in front of him. He drew Robbie to him and opened his mouth for his erection. Robbie exerted gentle pressure and watched it entering while Edward's tongue did thrilling things with it. He was overwhelmed by bliss again.

“Oh God,” he gasped. “I love it. I'll do yours in a minute.”

Time passed.

They lay together, their hands running idly through each other's hair. Edward's was beguilingly frizzy around the edges. Robbie heaved a deep shuddering sigh of contentment.

“Happy, darling?” Edward murmured.

“Yes, darling.”

“My darling.”

“Darling. I love us to call each other that.” He was a homosexual. Edward was a homosexual. There was nothing loathsome about it. Their acceptance of each other was complete. He was drunk with the sensual awareness that flowed like a soothing current between them. The fruity drink might have something to do with it too. He knew they couldn't stay here much longer but he hadn't the will to make a move. It was his last thought before he slid into a deep sleep.

A familiar drawling voice brought him back to consciousness. The words were blurred and then close to his ear he heard, “… so beautiful?” He smiled. He was lying on his back and he had another erection. Edward's hand moved along it and circled its base and lifted it upright. He let it fall with a little slap against his navel.

“My word,” a girl's voice said.

Robbie's eyes flew open and he whirled around seeking concealment against Edward's body. Anne was standing beside the bunk. Edward held him and kissed his mouth.

“Have you looked at his beautiful brown bottom?” Anne asked. “I've never seen a boy before with such a beautiful bottom. Perhaps you'd better not look at it now. You really must come out. I told them you were looking at the engine room. It sounds like something that boys would do. I presume we have an engine room.”

“We must have. Run along, darling. We won't be a minute. Tell them I'm adjusting a gasket.”

Robbie heard her laughter and a door closing. He reared up, shaking his head to clear it. “What's happening? Have I been asleep long?”

“Only about half an hour. It's been heavenly watching you.”

“You let Anne see my cock.”

“Of course, darling. I couldn't deny her such an impressive sight.”

“Half an hour! Has everybody noticed we're missing?”

“It doesn't matter. It's quite extraordinary, you know. No matter how many people I tell about myself, nobody really believes me. I don't find it so incredible, do you?”

“I'm beginning to think it's incredible that everybody isn't the same.” Robbie laughed, amazed that in this part of the world, even here where he had learned to abhor everything he had discovered in himself, even here an avowed homosexual could be casual and humorous and carefree. What had become of the foul pit of depravity that he had thought awaited him? He fell back into Edward's welcoming arms and their bodies lolled indolently together until passion intervened and they offered each other their mouths.

“What a lovely phase this is, passing or no,” Edward sighed while they were waiting for everything to settle down. “I'm so happy we're going through it together. I wonder if I'm a case of retarded development. I don't suppose twenty is advanced senility but I don't feel older than you. Is there much more than a year's difference?”

“Well, actually I'm not eighteen yet.”

“Good Lord. So young? That should make me feel wicked but if doesn't somehow. You have such quiet authority. Do you feel very wicked, darling? I doubt it. We'll go to the Tour Engloutie tonight and I'll show you Toni. I'm sure I'll watch him now with frigid indifference but the place is a show in itself. I swoon over the beauties and try not to notice the ghastly camp followers. A bit
too
camp for my tastes but if we're poofsters I suppose we must take the rough with the smooth. You'll be a sensation. Is this a good moment to leap into our knickers, darling, or shall we stay here the rest of our lives?”

“I wouldn't mind.” They retrieved their trunks from where they'd fallen and pulled them on. Robbie wished he could match Edward's insouciance at facing the world after such a long suspicious absence. “Does your father know about you?” he asked.

“Oh, yes, the Sea Dog knows but he adheres to the ‘passing phase' school. Besides, he's navy, darling. Sodomy is in the grand old seafaring tradition. He'd think I'd taken leave of my senses if he caught me with a cock in my mouth.”

“You're the first who's wanted to do it that way with me. I thought nobody ever would. Is it so very unusual?”

“Dear me. How different our experience has been. That's how I found out I was a poof—a lovely boy wanted to pipe a tune on mine and I couldn't wait to make it a duet. I confess I'm depressed by tiddly little ones, but give me one like yours and I become as one possessed, a virtuoso of the cock rampant.”

Robbie looked into clever blue eyes and laughed. “You don't know how wonderful this is for me. I don't mean just sex but finding somebody I can really be friends with. Homosexuality is so new to me. I haven't known what to expect. If we're friends, I don't have to worry anymore.”

“Please, darling,” Edward said, looking suddenly shy and flustered. “Don't make me fall in love with you before I've had lunch. I might not be responsible for my actions. What an adorable boy. I've never thought I had much sex appeal but you're doing wonders for my ego. You were in my arms before I was even sure it was on. Come along, darling. We must.”

“I know.” They kissed lightly and Edward took his hand and led him out. They mounted to the upper deck and crossed the saloon toward the stern where the party was assembled. As they approached, Robbie was sure that everybody was wondering what the two of them had been doing. The appalling thought struck him that Edward might call him “darling” in public and he let himself be separated from his lover the minute they stepped out onto the crowded after-deck. People had started to eat. Anne appeared at his side and thrust a well-laden plate into his hands.

“Eat, darling,” she ordered. “I know sex makes boys hungry. You looked so perfect together. I do hope it's going to be a real affair. Edward's been rather at loose ends lately. Are your parents tiresome about homosexuality?”

Robbie blushed and almost choked and glanced hastily around them. What would she say next? Who would hear her? “They don't know,” he muttered.

“Oh dear. Is that a good idea? Edward believes that deception leads to all sorts of dreadful repressions. He feels we must do what we can to enlighten our elders. It's so much more healthy. I must say you looked wonderfully enlightened a little while ago.”

Reminded that she had seen his cock, he blushed more hotly. “How did you find us?”

“Where else would you be, darling? Edward thinks casual sex is immature but from the moment he looked at you he was wild to make love to you. We've talked about you for weeks.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Everybody's been talking about the fabulous Coslings.”

The fabulous Coslings. Stuart heard the phrase repeatedly. He didn't understand how they had become thus institutionalized, but the fatigue of having been up since dawn and the drinks he had consumed since his arrival made a pleasant blur of everything taking place around him and he handed out rather vague invitations right and left. While he was still taking notice, he had talked to a celebrated writer, two painters, a film star, a prince and his princess, and a cluster of lesser aristocrats. As lunch progressed, they became anonymous if familiar faces, a gallery of nameless new friends.

Helene remained alert and selective with an emphasis on those with residential ties in the area rather than the transients. As she asked questions and exchanged pleasantries, it crossed her mind that Carl would be very much at home in the community that was beginning to take shape.

“We ran into a man called Carl von Eschenstadt in the islands. Have you ever known him?” she asked the admiral, who remained ceremoniously at her side.

“Eh? Von Eschenstadt? Name's familiar. Sounds like a Hun. Bad bit of goods, what?”

“Oh, we didn't think so,” Helene protested.

“Dare say I'm thinking of some other chap. These foreign names all sound alike, you know.”

She caught a glimpse of Robbie talking to the admiral's fey daughter. She hoped he was making friends with the young people. They would make a pleasant addition to the life she was planning.

The party drew to a natural conclusion. After Robbie had made sure that both his parents had seen him with Anne and other guests, he allowed Edward to reclaim him.

“I can't bear being without you for an instant, darling,” the older boy drawled. “That's a very bad sign.” They talked some more about the evening. Robbie pointed out that his father was making an event of their first family dinner in the completed house. “Of course, darling, I can't expect to take over your entire life on the very first day. I shall eat my heart out till you come back. Toni isn't on till about midnight. We might pipe a merry tune before or after. Perhaps both. I do hope rather a lot of sex is included in your thoughts of our future happiness, darling.”

“I'm thinking of a nonstop duet.”

Edward laughed. “You
are
adorable, darling. Now that I've had some lunch, I can tell you quite rationally that I'm halfway to falling in love with you. I'm trying rather desperately not to go further. Tonight might be decisive.”

Stuart had arranged for the Rolls to be left for them when Boldoni had come in to take off their luggage. They drove out to the house with lively anticipation while they discussed the party.

“Did you like the admiral's children, darling?” Helene asked Robbie. “I thought Anne quite attractive in an odd original way.”

“She's nice but they're all a bit mad. They talk nonsense just to shock people. Edward calls everybody darling.” That was the point he had had to make as quickly as possible. His heart seemed to shrink as he adopted a disdainful tone toward the boy who had made him so happy, but he had to protect himself. “Did he call you darling, Dad?” he asked to drive his point home.

“I don't think I talked to him long enough to give him a chance. He seemed rather effete but he has great charm.”

“Oh sure, they have plenty of that but I think they're apt to wear thin. You can't take anything they say seriously.” He had disposed of the Cumberleighs. He thought of the melting appeal of Edward's eyes and despised himself.

“I'm afraid we'll find a great many people like that here,” Helene said, approving his perception. “All fairly superficial. I'm sure you won't be taken in. We'll find the exceptions.”

Stuart was sorry to hear the note of aloof superiority creeping back into the boy's voice. He'd hoped he'd been cured of it. “Edward took you on a tour of the boat, didn't he?”