Authors: Meg Cabot
Perfect Princess (10 page)
Pocahontas may not have had an adorable pet raccoon in real life, like she does in the Disney movie, but she was a real princess. She did meet a man named John, just like in the movieâexcept that he wasn't the John she threw herself in front of in order to save him from the wrath of the Powhatans. That was Captain John Smith. The real Pocahontas married another John, whose last name was Rolfe. He taught her English, and she taught him her native language. Eventually, she went with him back to England, where she enjoyed immense popularity and was treated as what she was: visiting royalty.
Until, that is, she got smallpox, and died at the age of twenty-two.
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[Whoa! That last part, so not in the movie version! What a bummer!]
Michael's Random Act of Princess:
Be like Pocahontas: Learn a language! It will come in handy when you're meeting with international dignitaries to discuss peace, or at least look good on your college apps.
Princess Diana of Paradise Island was raised by her mother, Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons, in a place devoid of the war-embracing ways of men. Until, that is, World War II pilot Steve Trevor's plane is shot down, and his unconscious body washes up on Paradise Island's virgin shores. Princess Diana is instantly smitten, so when Steve's wounds have healed enough for him to be moved, she volunteers to take him back to his people.
In order to prepare her daughter for the dangers the queen knows she'll face in the land of men, Hippolyta gives Diana a golden lasso that compels whoever it holds to tell the truth, and also loans her the royal invisible jet (don't even ask how an island of Amazons who haven't had any contact with the outside world developed the technology to build an invisible jet. You wouldn't believe me if I told you).
Armed with these things and a pair of wrist bracelets with which Diana can ward off bullets, the young Amazon princess heads for Washington, D.C., with a groggy Steve in tow. There, Diana is appalled by all the evil she seesâand not just from the Nazis. She vows to remain by Steve's side, to protect him as best she can from those who seek to kill him, which it turns out is actually a lot of people. Like Superman's Lois Lane, Steve never quite figures out that his mild-mannered secretary Diana and Wonder Woman, the Amazonian princess who keeps stopping all the bank robberies in the Washington area, are one and the same person.
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[Like Diana, I, too, would go to whatever lengths I had to, to make sure my man was safe from the Nazi scourge⦠even if that meant forsaking my native land and running around our nation's capital in nothing but a one-piece bathing suit with gold eagle wings where the built-in bra shelf should have been. I would gladly make such a sacrifice, if it would in any way aid my love.]
Mia's Random Act of Princess:
Be like Wonder Woman: Wear your bathing suit proudly. Don't slouch or try to look inconspicuous, no matter how big you think your thighs are, or how little you've got going in the chestal area. Anyone can look good at the beach or pool, if she's got the most important accessory of all: confidence.
Leia Organa, adopted daughter of Bail Organa, viceroy of the doomed planet of Alderaan, has a complicatedâsome would say convolutedâfamily tree. Her birth mother (see page 101) split Leia and her twin brother up at a young age, raising Leia herself, until her own death.
Leia was a born leader, and became a senator at a very young age, striving to help her people, whom she saw as oppressed by the Imperial government. An active member in the rebellion against galaxian emperor Palpatine, Leia little expected to be captured and held a political prisoner by a man who would later turn out to be her own father⦠or that she would be rescued by a man who later turned out to be her own brother. Or that she would fall in love with a smuggler with a heart of gold, and later be forced to wear a slave-girl outfit while serving drinks to that same smuggler's mortal enemy, Jabba the Huttâ¦.
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[I had to cut Michael off here. His thing on Princess Leia went on and on! Who knew there was so much to say about her?]
Mia's Random Act of Princess:
Be like Leia: Experiment with new hairstyles! You'll never know what looks good on you until you've tried a lot of different looks. Who knows? Maybe the real you is all about buns on either side of your head! Even if you do something as radical as shaving all your hair off, or dying it pink, no worries: The great thing about hair is, it grows back!
Amidala, also known as Padmé Naberrie, was elected queen of her planet at the age of fourteen. Some might say it was unwise of the people of her planet to elect such a young queen. To them I say⦠didn't you see her in Attack of the Clones? She looked totally hot in that white pantsuit. I mean⦠What I meant to say was, Queen Amidala served her term on the throne and later became a senator, serving her people wisely and well, until that Hayden Christensen guy came along and messed it all upâ
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[I had to cut Michael off AGAIN! He was getting kind of wound up⦠the same way he gets about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, only worse.]
Mia's Random Act of Princess:
Be like Padmé: Don't wear whatever style is “in” just because everyone else is doing it. Find what looks best on you, whether it's long and flowing or sporty and formfitting. Don't let the in crowd dictate what goes on your body. Choose the look that you feel comfortable withâand look good in.
Mia Thermopolis, also known as Princess Amelia Renaldo, only came recently to the throne of her native land, Genovia, but has already made great strides in rectifying many social problems affecting the tiny nation, including the crippling parking problem there (by implementing parking meters). Mia has also cleaned up the Port of Genovia and decreased the incidence of sea mammals getting their snouts caught in plastic six-pack holders by almost 60 percent.
Mia continues to show great promise in an area that used to trouble her greatly: Algebra. She is funny and smart, and, though she doesn't necessarily agree, is also totally gorgeous, and looks great no matter what she's got on, overalls or ball gown. Plus, her kindness and generosity to others knows no bounds. Which is why I love her.
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[!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear I didn't tell him to write that
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MM + MT =
TRUE LOVE 4-EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Michael's Random Act of Princess:
Be like Mia: Don't litter or smoke, and try to walk, ride your bike, or take public transportation instead of burning more of our precious natural resources. And spit your gum out in the nearest trash receptacle: Birds can be attracted to the color if you spit it on the ground, and they eat your gum and get their beaks stuck shut and starve to death.