Perfecting the Odds (18 page)

“
Karis?”

“Mmm,” she murmured.

“How were my hands and mouth?”

Her eyes remained closed as h
er giggle rose to a full laugh, finally moving into a full blown sob.  She rolled onto his chest and buried her face in his neck and inhaled his calming scent. He lay silent, stroking her hair, allowing her to finish the cry she so desperately needed.

“Michael?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“That was
most certainly toe-curling. In fact, I’m pretty sure I broke a few toes mid orgasm.” She held her breath and waited for the cocky response. But he chuckled then looked down at her with such sweet reverence, her breath caught in her throat.

“How do you feel about that?”

She let out her breath slowing as she said, “Happy…and sated, but still horny…scared and—.” What had she done? She’d been a widow for only three years. What kind of person moves on so quickly? But, damn, it was good.

“And what,
Karis?”

“
Confused…why don’t I feel horribly guilty, Michael?” She stared into his eyes. “Shouldn’t I feel guilty?” New tears began to build, and she swallowed hard to squelch them. She had just given up an intimate part of herself to another man, not her husband. Correction, she had allowed him to take it and hadn’t wanted to stop. In fact, she wanted even more. She was more fucked up than she thought.

He
combed his wicked fingers through her hair from root to tip, an instant calming effect to her unease. “Maybe you know this is something good.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. Michael was right. Why was she thinking about her husband when Michael was here, alive, in the flesh? She certainly didn’t want to hurt him.
No more tears, dammit. Enjoy this.

With one deep breath,
she swiped her hands across her cheeks. “Okay. I’m ready, Michael,” she said matter-of-factly.

Looking down at her, h
e furrowed his brow. “For what?”

She
propped her chin on his chest and smiled sweetly. “Ready for you to tell me that you are, indeed, a sociopath—because that’s the only way those twenty-five ‘pasttimes’ would let that much hands- and-mouth talent walk away.”

He threw his head back, and h
is laughter echoed throughout her bedroom. If only she could bottle that sound and keep it in here for those lonely nights. It was exactly what she needed to lighten her mood and stop the nagging thoughts. She swiftly straddled him and gestured for him to sit up. Briefly cushioning his face between her breasts, she felt his cock pulse beneath her.

Just enjoy yourself,
Karis.

She
willed herself to relax, to take pleasure in this unbelievably sexy man. The guilt still hovered, there but not. However, she certainly wasn’t going to force herself to feel it. Michael felt
right
.

Basking in her orgasm glow
, Karis lightly pushed him back down onto the pillow.

K
issing a path down his chest, she eyed him between each taste. Wide-eyed, he stared at her, his cock twitching against her sex with each open-mouth kiss. She sat up, keeping her hands on his broad, muscular chest. “You’re not intimidated are you, Professor Finn?” She lifted one brow. “Because you damn well should be.”

“I—uh,” he stuttered. Karis pressed one finger over his lips. “Shh, Michael. Rhetorical question.” She bent down and pressed wet kisses to each bulging shoulder, realizing again how much even her tall stature dwarfed this huge man. His hisses of breath spurred her on.  Her tongue made a languorous path down his chest, flicking each nipple, circling his navel, stopping just above the waist of his jeans.

She
purred, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen arms like yours.” His eyes flared as she kissed each bicep and drew them over his head, fingering lines down their undersides before letting him bring his hands to her waist.

He closed his eyes
. “I’ve always liked working out, but I had to do something to get my mind off everything…and you. Working out—.” She rocked her hips against him, feeling the length of him harden further.  “Uhm…it helped even if only for a few hours.”

She slid her buttocks down his
thick upper thighs, prompting his eyes to flash open. “Now, we have to get these off.” She eyed his pants and that delicious vee formed below his waist.  “I don’t know which part of you is my favorite: your arms, your chest, your stomach, or this--,” she said, fingering the trail below his belly button. “I think I’ll use my mouth to remove these pants, just to show you I can use it for more than quick wit.” She saw his chest rise as he held his breath, and she reveled in the reaction. He found her sexy, and she would play that role for him.

But ultimately,
Karis was curious about what lie beneath his pants.

Eying the
hidden beast, now pulsing like a heartbeat against the leg of his jeans, she used her hands to unfasten the button. She bent and licked the sensitive skin above his boxers, peeking out from his jeans. She flicked the zipper, grabbing it in between her teeth, and slowly pulled it down. Her nose brushed the raised veins of his shaft, hot beneath his boxers.
Yes, he could definitely split me in two with this thing,
she decided.

“You’re killing me,
” he rasped between gritted teeth. She sat up higher on her knees as he lifted his hips, allowing her access to pull down his pants.

“
Le petit morte. Although what you just did to me was definitely not little…unless you call a Tsunami little.” He smiled. “Just mouth and hands, Michael” she reminded him. But then she looked down and chuckled loudly.

“
Karis, never,
ever
stare at a man’s package and laugh,” he admonished as his lips pouted adorably. He had to know the package was anything but funny.

She
bit her lip as she stared at the boxers decorated with Mickey Mouse. “I’m sorry. I’m guessing you didn’t think you were getting lucky if you chose those.”

“
Come on,” he droned. “They were clean.”

“Oh, Michael,
you are in dire need of a woman.”

Bringing his hands up, he
cupped her face. “No, I am in dire need of
you
, love.” He tapped his lips with his finger once, and she flushed. Bending forward slowly, she took his mouth abandoned with appreciation.

“Thank you
, Michael. You are...gratuitously kind. I don’t know what I did to deserve your persistence and your compliments. I’ve been harsh, curbing on rude. I’ve pushed you away, said some mean things, and we’ve talked only a few times. And then you go and do what you just did, and it was so amazing…and so selfless--.” She bit her lip to restrain the tears and groaned in frustration. “Sorry, I’m ruining the mood again.”

“
Karis, look at me.” He rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks and gazed at her. “Stop questioning everything and just enjoy it. I sure as hell am. Let yourself be happy for godssake.”

She realized at that moment, she had to stop.
She was feeling things for this man that couldn’t possibly be true…not this fast. She needed to answers. Call it masochism, call it her ceaseless OCD, call it pitiful. Nonetheless, it confused the hell out of her.

“But why, Michael?
” She exhaled deeply. “What if I can’t do
this
? I feel like all of this”--she waved her hands over him--“is for someone else, someone less fucked up. I feel like I’ll blink and…. Shit, you even said it. I have shitty luck. And you better believe it, once you get wrapped up in my shittiness....” God, was that even English? She had never had this much trouble putting words together.

“
Karis,” he growled. “Stop trying to convince yourself this won’t work.”

She lifted to her knees. “Michael
,” she growled back, and she saw his mouth turn up a bit. “Have you even considered that maybe, just maybe, because you saw me at my lowest, you have some irrational, deep-seeded need to protect me, that you don’t actually like anything about me?”

He shook his head with one curt movement.
“That’s ridiculous, Karis. I like
everything
about you. But of course I want to keep you safe. What man wouldn’t?”

She rolled her eyes again. “Lots of men. There are more assholes out there than guys like you.” He shrugged dismissively.

“I have my asshole moments, too, you know.”

She lifted her hand to smack him playfully just as he lifted his torso and put up both arms to block. “Ah, yes, the Marine can block effectively. Don’t worry. I’ll catch you off guard one day when you least expect it.”

“Shall I add spiteful to my list
of everything I like about Karis?”

“Astute observation, professor,” she retorted
and stuck out her tongue.

“Because that just makes you sexier, sweetheart.” His eyes darkened.

“Arggg! You’re relentless, Michael. I do have faults, you know. A shit load of undesirable traits.”

“Doubt it.”
Looking pretty damn sure of himself, he shrugged again and laid back down. He placed his hands behind his head, his biceps flexing, too lickable to ignore, but Karis shut her eyes to fight the urge, and when she opened them, she did her best to throw glaring daggers at him. She knew what she had to do. Time to release the arsenal. “You better hold your nose, Michael. Here comes the shitload.” He laughed; she ignored him.

“
I snore. Yeah, and loudly. And I’m a kicker when I sleep. I have sniper-like aim, if you know what I mean. Robert once puked in bed because of how hard I kicked him in the junk…Don’t laugh! He was out of commission for like a week. Also, when I wake up, I don’t brush my teeth first. I have my cup of coffee because, seriously, who would brush teeth, then drink coffee? Morons do, that’s who. And when I eat, none of my food can touch, especially anything that’s runny. If it was meant to be mixed together, it would have been. And I eat only custard-style yogurt--like vanilla, lime, and coffee-- because chunky yogurt is the anti-Christ of dairy products. Oh, and when people lick that layer of yogurt or pudding off the underside of the lid.” Karis made a gag face. “Lord have mercy. I’d rather stick a frickin’ spike through my eye.” Michael bit his lip.

“
I also have to remove all the seeds from the lemon slice before placing it in my water because I
truly
believe that if I swallow one, a lemon tree will grow in my stomach. You want more?” He nodded. His lips pressed together, doing everything his power not to burst out laughing, and it just made her more annoyed. “I hate laundry, like really hate it. So I let it pile up until it’s completely overwhelming.  Honestly, I’d rather buy new clothes and donate the dirty ones. And most importantly, if you haven’t guessed already, I have a severe case of OCD. My clothes even have to match their hangers. I have to alphabetize the food in the pantry. If it gets out of order, I have to breathe into a brown paper bag to calm the damn panic attack! And I check the front door probably three times before I go to bed, even though I know it’s locked. And if that’s not enough, I sleep with a frickin’ steak knife underneath my pillow because I’m paranoid that someone will break into the house and hurt my children. Michael! Don’t you see? I’m completely dysfunctional; I’m every flavor of fucked up. A smorgasbord of insanity!” Karis slumped back, arms crossed over her heaving breasts, and a full pout decorated her face.

Let’s see how he handles all that lovely insight
into the flawless Karis Bennett,
she snickered within.

His eyes danced with humor as
he grabbed her face, pulled her toward him, and kissed her forehead. “You are pretty fucked up, aren’t you?”

She scowled, determined for her point to be made.
“Dammit, Michael! I would make your life miserable. I certainly made Robert’s life a living hell. If he wasn’t deployed so often, we probably wouldn’t have made it so long.” The last part exited her mouth as a whispered, and she cringed at the admission she’d never once considered. Perhaps that was why she felt little guilt. Perhaps her relationship wasn’t as perfect as she thought. Perhaps that was why she hadn’t forgiven him for lying to her. Ah, crap. This was getting way too deep for a first date.

He sighed.
“Come on, Karis. We all have things that make us unique.”

“You sound like a goddamn after-
school special,” she retorted as she turned her head away from him. “Whereas I’m a neurotic head case, I’m sure you’re frickin’ flawless. Did you even have awkward years?”

“I’m definitely not flawless
.”

“Did you
even have braces?”

“No.”

“So your teeth are naturally beautiful?”

He shrugged. “They’re just teeth,
Karis. Yours are perfect too.”

“Well, ye
eeaaaah,” she drawled. “after four years of metal and headgear!” She couldn’t help herself, so she straddled him again, still crossing her arms. “Share. Now.”