Perfectly Shattered (16 page)

“Who was it?”

She swallowed hard, a lump forming in her throat. “A guy I knew in high school. Nat Hudson.”

A crease formed in Bradan’s brow. “What happened?”

If she cried right then, it would be embarrassing. Plus, he’d see more than she was prepared for him to. Bradan had become a friend of sorts, one she had sex with, but they weren’t to the point of sharing everything.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” A sob threatened to bubble up. Her chest tightened. She looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. Trying to force her thoughts onto something else—the cooking contest or the night with Bradan, anything but Nat—she kept her eyes averted from Bradan’s inquiring look. She struggled to block out unwelcome memories.

When she looked back down, Bradan was staring at her. But his look was not accusatory. Maybe a little concerned, but there was no challenge in his eyes. Cami floundered, having no idea how to proceed.

He smiled, and his blue eyes were soft. “You remain the Chinese checkers champion. So…where do you want to go today?”

She glanced toward the door and spotted the replica she’d noticed on the way in. “The Space Needle,” she said.

He laughed. “I say you can go anywhere and you pick the Space Needle.”

“I’ve never been. The lines are always too long.” Cami stuck out her lower lip in a fake pout. “You’ll just have to suffer with me, because I want to see the view from up there.”

Bradan lifted his hands in surrender.

“But first I have to go home and shower and change. I can’t wear the same clothes two days in a row.”

Bradan took her to her apartment then took off for his own, saying he’d be back in an hour. He kissed her sweetly and said goodbye. He tasted like coffee and cinnamon. Cami had the urge to drag him into her apartment to shower together. But she really did want to see the Space Needle.

The hour flew by, just enough time to get clean and fresh for a day with Bradan. She dressed in layers, the only way to do it. The weather could go from mild to bitter without warning. The monorail took them right to the Space Needle. It was one place that was too far to walk.

They chatted while in line, and the time went by quickly. The structure rose 605 feet above the city, looking very spaceship-like from below with narrow legs and a huge round top. The scene from the observation deck was fantastic, and definitely worth the wait to see. They looked over downtown and out to Puget Sound dotted with cruise ships.

Cami had brought her camera, intending to capture the 360-degree view. She took numerous shots, not knowing which would be best until she uploaded them later. By the time they had observed the panorama from all directions, they were starved.

“That toast didn’t hold me very long. I’m really hungry.”

“Me too,” Bradan said, and guided her toward the Skycity Restaurant.

The tables were against the windows of the round room, and they had a view of the waterfront with snow-covered Mt. Ranier looming high in the distance. Cami could see the Ferris wheel she’d ridden not long before. The staggered buildings of the city were below.

They each had an American burger, as it was called on the menu, which came with bacon jam and seasoned fries. “Mmm,” Cami said. “There’s something to be said for a simple burger.”

Bradan’s eyes twinkled. “Not very gourmet.”

Through a mouthful of food, she said, “Doesn’t have to be.”

Crunching on a fry, Bradan looked at her. “There’s no one else I’d rather see the Space Needle with.”

Cami laughed. “I’m honored.”

Once they finished the burgers, they gulped the rest of their Cokes and left. The trip down was much quicker than the one going up. In the monorail, Cami looked over at Bradan. He held her hand like they were sweethearts. Maybe they were.

“Let’s go by the grocery store on the way home. I’m cooking for you this evening.”

He raised his eyebrows. “What’s on the menu?”

“What’s your favorite?”

“Well, if I was home, I’d say my mom’s Irish beef stew. But since I’ve been in Seattle…other than hamburgers…I’ve had some really good beef tenderloin.”

Cami grinned. “That I can do.”

Holding hands, with her thigh pressed against his, felt so right. The hours she spent with Bradan were memorable. Maybe she was really falling for him. Other than in the bedroom. He treated her so well when they were alone. It seemed the only time trouble occurred was when other women were involved.

She didn’t dare ask if he planned to date any of the women who would willingly fall into his bed. Cami didn’t think she wanted to know. Plus, everything had happened so fast. She didn’t know if she was willing to put her feelings on the line. But it was going to be a great weekend; that much she was sure of.

Saturday wasn’t nearly over. They went to Pike Place and had coffee at the first-ever Starbucks. Another place Cami had been meaning to visit. They walked along the waterfront and visited the aquarium. Bradan even bought her fresh flowers at the market.

If someone had told her a movie was being filmed, starring
them
, Cami would have believed it. Their time together was too good, and she felt her heart swelling with emotion that she wasn’t sure she could handle. Brushing that aside, she focused on the present as well as she could.

Dinner that evening was at her apartment. Not only was Bradan’s place foodless, he didn’t have the utensils or spices she needed to make the meal she had in mind. While she cooked, he sat on a stool at the counter and watched her, making her nervous.

His blue eyes undressed her while she moved around doing the preparation. They’d picked up a couple of bottles of wine with the groceries, and sipped Malbec, a smooth red wine. Bradan worked through her music collection, playing Rev Theory then Alter Bridge.

Most of the prep was done, and the meat was cooking, by the time Brandon Boyd began singing “Incubus.” The song’s shifting mood matched the lyrics, and Cami had always thought it matched how she often felt.

They kissed and touched while they sipped wine, waiting for dinner. It was very homey, and Cami was a little too comfortable. Life had never been predictable, and she didn’t have confidence the idyllic respite would last.

In some ways, experience had made her a pessimist. But she didn’t let it show. Whatever she felt, it was better to keep it buried. Cami wasn’t going to let bad memories ruin what she had with Bradan. Whatever it was that they had together.

The beef tenderloin was seared and roasted, then served with chunky potatoes. A bowl of creamed spinach finished it off. Cami presented it on her best plates, and lit candles at the table.

The look on Bradan’s face as he started eating was rewarding. She loved watching his satisfied expression as he devoured the food, bite by bite.

Halfway through his meal, Bradan leaned back and took a gulp of wine. “You know how they say, ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’?”

Cami nodded, knowing where he was headed, and liking it.

He rubbed his toes against her ankle. “They were right.”

Cami pinched him. “Why do you think I learned to cook?”

The rest of the evening was relaxed and intimate. After helping with the cleanup, Bradan settled on the sofa with her to watch a vampire movie. She’d told him they were her favorites, and he wanted to do something she liked.

One thing led to another, and they didn’t end up making it back to the penthouse. They made love on Cami’s small mattress, and there was something very sexy about that. It was so personal having the man she was crazy for in her own bed.

After the wine, food, and awesome sex, they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Cami’s last thought was of how romantic being with Bradan was. She would never have expected it of him in the beginning, and was relieved to know she’d misjudged.

Chapter 18

After spending the weekend together, Cami and Bradan were reluctant to part. But work called, and life resumed its normal flow. Neither spoke of commitment, nor did they need to. The way they felt in each other’s arms was enough.

Things were going well, and it felt like it would never end. To Cami, it didn’t seem like it would. The weeks passed, and Bradan took her out regularly. Sometimes it was just for coffee. Other times she cooked for him, finding that he liked almost anything she made.

His boss had to extend his trip for a few more weeks, so some evenings were spent making love at the penthouse, though soon Bradan would be renting his own place. And some of the nights were spent in Cami’s bed, a sort of intimate gesture in itself. Their attraction blossomed, though neither verbalized their feelings. They saw each other when they could.

One night, Bradan took her to The Crocodile to see a new group she liked called Alabama Shakes. The club had been fondly tagged as
Belltown’s much-loved living room
, and incredible bands had played there, including Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Cheap Trick. Cami had wanted to attend some of the concerts long before she’d moved to Seattle.

Watching Brittany Howard belt her way through “Hold On” and “Always Alright” was an enlivening experience. When the performance was over, they went to Back Bar, the neighborhood pizza place at the back of the concert hall, for a pepperoni and cheese and to wind down.

While waiting for the pizza, Cami noticed Bradan looking at her intently.

“What?”

“Just wondering.”

Cami waited.

He leaned forward. “Will you ever tell me about being in love?”

Bradan hadn’t pressed since the one time she’d made it clear she wasn’t ready to talk about it. High from the rock music, his question brought her back to reality. Eventually she’d have to tell him.

Pulling herself together, Cami tried to voice what her mind still refused to admit, even after all the time that had passed. She looked at Bradan, trusting him but fearing she’d fall apart.

“We were in love,” she said. Tears formed in her eyes and she tried to swallow them back.

Bradan put his hand over hers.

“He died.”

Nothing else was said. Cami couldn’t speak. She looked down at the table, hoping he wouldn’t ask for details. And he didn’t. Bradan lifted her hand and kissed it silently.

*****

As time went by, Cami began to think the bottom wouldn’t fall out. After all, life’s lessons weren’t always repeated. Maybe there was a future there, though she was thankful that Bradan never pinned her down about it. He was as willing as she was to enjoy what they had without the need to discuss permanency.

Despite all that, Cami began to expect his calls and look forward to her nights with him. In between, she worked, cooked, and went to Pilates to stay in shape. One day after class, she and Brittany decided to grab some lunch. It was a weekday, so Bradan would be working. Not that she had to spend every minute with him.

Brittany took a last look in the mirror and dabbed at a smear of mascara under her eye. “Where do you want to go?”

Cami put her bag over her shoulder. She wore her coat since the weather was overcast. Though March was ending, the cold temperatures and drizzle persisted. “I have a craving for duck egg on soba noodles.”

“You’re weird sometimes.”

“Follow me. There’s this place around the corner where Bradan took me last week. They have amazing food. Desserts too. They even make their own caramel.”

Brittany followed her out to the street. “Sugar, yum. I’m in.”

*****

The recent weeks had been good to Bradan. Not that he was marking the calendar or anything, but he hadn’t fought with Cami since the party. He’d made it clear to Tanya that he wasn’t available, which she took rather well.

Work was busy, but overtime was out of the question since he spent every spare minute with Cami. The sex was amazing, and he liked her company besides. What more could a guy ask?

In fact, he liked being with her so much that he’d been seeing her exclusively, though there was no stated arrangement. And that suited him fine. As long as he could see Cami when he wanted to, life was pretty darn good.

Early mornings were still reserved for the gym, and Ian showed up most of the time. Once in a while, Bradan worked through lunch, but not often. It was more usual to duck out with co-workers to grab a bite.

Mid-morning, while pushing against a deadline on a project, Bradan got a call. He lifted his phone to see who it was. Cami called him infrequently at work, but he checked in case it was her.

He didn’t recognize the number, so out of curiosity he answered.

“Bradan here.”

There was no immediate response, and he nearly hung up.

“Hello, Bradan.”

The voice was so familiar. Too familiar. But his mind wasn’t working. Nothing clicked in.

“Who is this?”

Again, some hesitation.

“Amber.”

His heart began a rapid staccato and adrenaline pumped through his veins. It was as though the years hadn’t passed, like it was just yesterday that she’d betrayed him. All the old anger and humiliation rose instantly, clouding his thoughts.

Wanting some privacy, Bradan left the main workroom and went down the hall. “Why are you calling me?”

“I just…I’m know I’m probably calling you at work. Can we talk?”

“What the hell for, Amber?”

“It’s been a long time, you know, Bradan.” Her voice sounded sweet, which he found all the more annoying. Visions of the woman he’d once thought so highly of flooded back into his consciousness.

“Not long enough. I’m at work. Just tell me what you want.” His clipped speech didn’t begin to unleash the rage he’d pent up for so long.

“I just want to see you.”

“Jesus, Amber. There’s no point. You made your choice.” Bradan paced, trying to keep his voice down.

“That was so long ago. Can’t you just meet with me?” Her voice was from the past, reminding him of years of his life, years he’d felt something for her. Not just something. Hell, he would have moved in with her.

“I’m not driving to Boston.”

In a softer voice, she said, “I’m in Seattle.”

Emotions shook Bradan to his core. He didn’t want her in Seattle. He’d come to the city to get away from her, to get away from everything that reminded him of her. Now she’d violated his privacy and shown up in his new life.