Persona (6 page)

Upstairs in her room, she decides to makes some use of her alone time. Tossing her pillows off her bed, she climbs up on it and sits Indian style. Rolling her neck to get rid of any tension she might have, she closes her eyes with a sigh. Lightly, she places her palms up on her knees and takes even calm breaths. After a few years of this type of relaxation mediation, she had been able to bring on her persona at will by just parts. It was hard at first, but she slowly was able to do it. Like all things, it takes practice. When her room starts to fade around her and all she focuses on is the buzz from the heater, that’s when she feels the tingling sensation across her skin.

It always starts like that, like tiny bugs crawling all over you and your skin breaks out in goose bumps. Moira thinks of this feeling as a warning system, that she is about to lose control, but uses it to push herself when she practices. In her mind, she pictures herself sitting here and slowly envisions her hair changing from wavy strawberry blonde to a silky auburn mass of curls. Brought on by the thought, the tingling travels along her scalp and she feels her hair rising up from her back and settling past her shoulders. She asked her dad once, what the deal was with her hair changing like that, but he didn’t really have an answer. He just told her that she was like a wolf, showing her true fur underneath. Moira laughed at him, not able to picture her whole body covered in red fur. What a sight, that would be.

Concentrating now, she pictures herself standing in front of a mirror so that she is staring into her hazel eyes and see’s that they look like a mix between green and brown. The tingling travels from her scalp to her eyes making them itch and water for a second, and she knows that if she were to look at them, they would be changing to a deep emerald color. She keeps her eyes closed though, as to not be distracted by her heightened sight.

Taking a deep breathe, she empty’s her mind and concentrates on pushing herself harder. The next part is a little difficult, but after a while she feels her hands tingle. They feel like they were asleep and are slowly waking up, it starts in her palms and travels up into her fingertips. Without any pain, she feels her nails grow out and without looking she knows they are pointed at the tips.

The next part always forms last with her for some reason. She tried before to just do this part, but it never worked. Now that the rest is complete, the tingling travels throughout her body again and this time migrates to her neck. It feels like a muscle spasm for a second, and she has to remain calm and control her breathing. From her neck, it lingers up into her jaw so that her gums feel like they are vibrating. She feels a stinging sensation almost to the point of pain and then it’s gone, as she feels her teeth push up. Opening her mouth slightly, she makes room for her teeth to elongate into sharpened points. Smiling, she finally opens her eyes.

Her room is more clear and sharper, and she can almost zoom onto things she couldn’t before. Glancing to her desk, she can see a fleck of dust that looks like the size of a quarter to her now. Her body feels stronger too, like she could do anything. Moira has to remind herself that it’s not true though, there are things that you can’t come back from. She doesn’t know if it’s part of the persona to have thing feeling of invincibility, but it does fade when she returns to normal.

Sliding of the bed, she goes over to her mirror on the back of her closet. She sees a different girl walking towards her reflection. Like always, it takes her by surprise. This girl is beautiful to Moira, and has strength to her, that she does not. Her hair practically glows, and her eyes are shinning. With her teeth and nails, she looks like a predator ready for a hunt. Reaching out a hand, Moira touches her reflection and wonders how anyone could see someone like her as a monster. All she sees is beauty. Taking a deep breathes, and slowly letting it out, she watches as the other girl slowly fades from the reflection. Her eyes dim, and her hair lightens and falls down her back. Her nails retract, and her teeth follow suit. She feels empty now, and no longer a strong fighter.

Sighing, she pulls open her closet door and turns away from her plain image. Someday, she’d like to be the other girl from longer than a couple minutes.

She’s just not sure if that will ever be an option.

Chapter Four

Following an uneventful weekend, Moira finds herself back in line with Marty at school on Monday. He was unusually quiet on the bus ride, and the weather out matches his dark clothes and attitude. They’ve already been waiting to get inside for twenty minutes, and it started raining about ten minutes ago.

Flipping up her hood to her sweater, she turns to Marty and says, “So, you want to talk about it?”

Moira offers him a small smile, and leans into him and bumps his shoulder with hers. He finally smirks at her, and bumps her back.

“Will you let it go, if I say no?”

“Not so much, no.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. You’ve been itching to ask me all morning, since you got on the bus.” He shrugs, and gives her a knowing look.

“Yeah I have actually. I got the gist at lunch on Friday, but do you want to elaborate on it?” She asks sweetly.

Shaking his head, he says, “Just the usual bull, really. Some dudes trying to mess with Raven, and they weren’t backing down. So I stepped up, and made them back down.”

Moira watches him as he talks and wonders if he notices the emotion’s he gives off when he talks about Raven. He probably doesn’t, most guys don’t know they could like someone until it’s too late. She thinks he’s admirable helping out Raven, even if she finds it funny she would need help in the first place.

“Did you hurt them?” She asks softly.

She didn’t hear anything about anyone being hurt, and he wouldn’t be at school if he did. But it’s good to hear if he intended to or not.

“No. But I wanted to so bad, you have no idea.”

He was starring of into space as he told her what happened, but he turns when he’s done and gives her the saddest look she has ever seen. It breaks her heart that she can’t tell him, which she knows how he feels. Her persona is so strong sometimes, that she can feel it building under the surface just wanting to get out.

“But you didn’t. And that’s what important.”

Moira reaches out and takes his hand in hers and gives it a tiny squeeze. With a small smile, he returns the pressure in they’re hands.

“You know something Warner? You’re kind of an awesome girl.” Marty says in awe.

“I know that silly, but don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret.”

Laughing, Marty lets go her hand. He gets behind her as they move up in the line. As Moira takes a step forward, something bumps into her left side and throws her off balance. Trying to avoid a puddle in the sidewalk, she hears Marty call out as she stumbles to her knees.

When she lands down hard, she regrets ever wearing a skirt that day. Upon impact with the walkway, she skins her right knee on rock pebbles. She feels the sting immediately, and turns around to glare at whoever knocked into her. To her surprise, its Quinn and her three lookalike friends.

“My bad, I didn’t see you there. It was like you were invisible or something.” Quinn snipes.

Her friends laugh at this, like it’s the funniest thing in the world. All it does is piss off Moira, and she’d get up and hit her if her knee wasn’t throbbing. But Marty’s not sitting. In fact, he’s facing off with Quinn looking pretty pissed off too.

“What’s your problem Quinn?” He barks out.

“My problem?” She laughs and looks between her friends. “It’s not my fault your little girlfriend can’t walk right.”

Marty clenches his fists at his side, and starts shaking in anger.

“Careful dog boy, you don’t want to get expelled do you?” Quinn says nastily.

Moira knowing he must be close to changing, pushes herself to her feet so that she’s standing next to him. She glares at Quinn, and has to control her own anger. But she’s not going to let one stupid cheerleader, make her lose control.

Touching Marty’s arm, she says, “It’s alright Marty. I’m fine, really. They don’t matter to me. Don’t let them psych you, you’re the one in control.”

Quinn laughs at her and says, “Who says stuff like that? Your such a freak.”

Marty tenses again, and takes half a step forward in the other girl’s direction, but Moira stops him by the arm. One of Quinn’s copies gives a little shriek and the rest of them back off. Turning to face him, Moira notices that his eyes have shifted to a darker shade of green, that they appear almost black. His two toned hair is beginning to switch to black, when Moira squeezes his arm hard. Flinching, his eyes shift to her and away from the others.

“You need to calm down Marty. Take deep, shallow breathes.” She says softly.

Slowly, he relaxes in her grip and his hair returns to its natural two toned brown. He lets out a deep breathe, and as he looks her in the eye, his lighten so that they are deep green again. He sags back a step and shakes his head to clear it, and Moira turns to glare at Quinn again, who has been watching.

“Look who’s a dog whisperer. I guess like calls to like, loser.”

Moira doesn’t let her remark get to her, as she steps close enough to touch. She leans to her ear before the other girl can step away.

“Back off now Quinn, if you know what’s good for you. I don’t care what your deal is with me. But it ends now.”

Moira steps back, and gives Quinn a sweet smile, before turning her back on her. She hears her say something like itch, and her friends and her walk away. As gawkers in their squabble continue in the line, Moira goes back to Marty’s side. He’s sort of standing off to the side, looking guilty. They lost their place in line, but she doesn’t care. She just wants to make sure Marty’s alright, and as she moves she can feel something dripping down her knee. Looking down, she sees blood from the scratch she got from falling. She forgot about it until now, and like most cuts, it starts to sting.

Marty follows her gaze to her knee, and is about to reach out and touch her, but she flinches away. He straightens up, and gets a hurt expression on his face.

“I’m sorry. You probably think I’m a monster now, huh?” He stares down to the ground, afraid to face her.

“You’re not a monster Marty. Trust me, I’ve seen actual monsters, and you’re not it.” She touches his arm lightly, to get him to move up in the line. “I just have a thing about blood, the less I see it, the better.”

They finally reach the doors to the school, and Marty goes inside first. As he steps to the side, she walks up, and see’s one of the many monitors giving him a detention slip. He looks even more upset now, knowing he got into trouble for sticking up for her now. Moira feels bad, since Quinn would leave him alone if it wasn’t for her.

Coming up next to him, she says, “Don’t feel bad alright. You’re a good guy, Marty. I’m going to get a Band-Aid from the nurse, so I’ll see you in History okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” He tries to give her a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

Moira feels bad leaving him standing there in the hallway, but she has to cover up her scratch. All she needs is to get caught being hurt one minute and then healed the next. The healing thing can be a pain sometimes. Helpful, but not good when you want to appear normal.

Later that day, in gym, they have to stay indoors because of the rain. The plan was for the entire class to work on body strength, but they just ended pairing up and doing exercises. Moira wasn’t looking forward to working with someone she doesn’t know, but Spencer came to her rescue. As soon as the class was told to find someone, he went right up to her.

“Mind if we pair up?” He asks with a smile, as stops in front of her.

Moira’s first instinct is to say no, since he’s Quinn’s boyfriend, and she is a total hag. But his smile makes her belly flutter, so she agrees. They go off to the side of the gym, and find a spot to sit. Most of the class is doing sit-ups, so Spencer lies down.

“Listen, I just wanted to apologize for what happened this morning with Quinn. She can be a little rough some times.”

“You don’t have to say anything for her. It’s not your fault, it’s hers.” She says, as she tries not to be irritated.

“I do though. She’s really not that bad, honest. She just gets jealous easy.” He says with a smile.

Moira doesn’t know what he means at first, but then what he says registers. Who is Quinn jealous of, her? She doesn’t think that’s possible. Before she can call him on it, he interrupts her thoughts.

“Hold my feet?” He asks as he already does one sit-up on his own.

She places her hands on his white sneakers, and can feel his muscles working as he moves. She watches the way his shirt tightens over his abdomen, and she feels her cheek burning. Every time he sits up, he gives her either a smile or a wink. She wishes suddenly that he wasn’t so cute, it would make being mad at him easier. But how can a guy like him, be with a girl like Quinn? She wonders if he’s really as nice as he appears.

He sits up again and says, “Alright, your turn.”

They switch positions, and when she lays down, she wishes she wore newer sneakers. But when his hands squeeze her feet, she couldn’t care less about her shoes. With a deep breath, she pushes herself up and then back down. Every time she goes up, he gives her a smile and she can’t help grinning like an idiot in return. Even after a few petitions, she still doesn’t feel the burn of her muscles in her abdomen, when she should. So she sits up and pretends to be winded, even though she’s not.

“Nice job.” He gently pats her knee, causing her blush to deepen.

They work the rest of class in silence, and Moira wonders again why he’s so nice to her, when Quinn is not.

***

December 2014

Peter Fletcher sits at his desk I his office, and tries to focus on his monthly data reports. He reads the same page three times before he tosses it aside with a curse. It’s been like this all afternoon, since Moira’s father picked her up for the day. He can’t believe that he allowed that man outside visiting rights. Not that he has any control really, but it still makes him angry. That’s not the only thing angering him these days though.