Phantom Scars (28 page)

Chapter 53 – Setting it Straight

Warren came for dinner at our house to celebrate the opening of the new restaurant. We were set to open this upcoming weekend. I'd gotten used to seeing the gentle touches he would give my momma, but I was happy to find out that Clayton had been wrong. Momma was in a serious relationship with Warren, but not a sexual one. She was holding out until they were married, and Emma suspected Warren was going to ask her soon.

We were just sitting down to dinner, when the phone rang. I didn't recognize the area code, but Emma said it was an Arizona number, most likely Phoenix. I left the table to answer the call, and a deep voice introduced himself as Jimmy Green.

"Are you Agent Green's father by any chance?" I asked.

"Yes, I am, and unfortunately, I have some very bad news. Emma's parents were in a serious auto accident this morning. They're both alive, but Emma's mother sustained catastrophic head trauma. She's on life support, but she's considered brain dead. They're attempting to keep her alive to sustain the baby until he can be delivered viably," Jimmy said sadly.

"No," I gasped. "What about Clark?"

"Clark's injuries are serious, but not life threatening. He’ll have to retire from working, though, and he'll need extensive physical therapy to recover." Jimmy explained the rest of what had happened and gave me the hospital information.

"Is there any hope for Paige at all?" I asked.

"It doesn't look that way according to the doctors. The damage to her brain was extensive, and it's not showing any activity. They said it's a miracle she didn't die instantly."

I thanked him for letting us know, and he promised to contact us if anything changed.

"Please give Emma my love and condolences on her momma's condition. Clark's my best friend, so let me know if I can do anything to help," he said before we hung up.

I called Warren into the kitchen to tell him what had happened. I was going to need his help in telling Emma about her momma. This was not something I wanted to do. Warren agreed to break the bad news to Emma for me.

The sorrow seemed to radiate from our very beings, as we entered the dining room. Everyone fell silent, gazing at us worriedly, knowing what was coming was not going to be good.

I pulled Emma into my lap and nodded to Warren, letting him know he could go ahead. He calmly relayed what I had told him, explaining that there had been an accident, and that Clark had been hurt badly, but he would live. Emma was holding her breath, waiting for his final words regarding her momma. He took a deep breath and broke the horrible news of her momma's condition. She crumbled in my arms. My momma hugged us both and said she would arrange plane tickets for us to go to Arizona immediately.

My heart broke for Emma. I knew how life-changing losing a parent would be for her. Our celebration for the restaurant was cut short, as we all rushed to pack and then left to catch the next flight to Arizona. Emma was nearly catatonic. Shortly before we boarded the plane, Warren gave her something to help her sleep.

I couldn't imagine what Clark was going through right now. Just the thought of losing Emma crushed me. I really didn't want to leave on the ship now. I called Captain Towers from the Airport in Phoenix and quietly explained what had happened. He said he would adjust the departure date to squeeze in another two weeks of home time, giving me a month with my girl, but I didn't know if that would be enough.

We arrived at the hospital around six o'clock the next morning after flying all night. We were exhausted, but Emma wanted to be there for her father. Warren took my momma and our luggage to check into our hotel. Emma's family had been in such serious condition that they had airlifted them out of Kingman to Saint Luke’s hospital.

The visiting hours were not until 8:00 a.m., but the nurse said she would get the doctors to talk to us and give us the latest updates. The OB/GYN came in first. Apparently, he had been there delivering a baby and had just finished. He had a broad smile that seemed so out of place.

"Mrs. Clemens?" he asked in too jovial a tone.

"Yes," I answered for Emma.

"Well, it looks like your little brother is fine. It's just a matter of getting him as close to the end of the third trimester as we can, and I don't see any complication with that, as long as your mom holds out. I do understand that your father has had extensive limb damage, and so he’ll require some help caring for the child. Would you or someone you know be willing to take charge of the baby? I don't believe your father will be in any shape to care for himself, much less a newborn," he said with very little concern for my wife's feelings. I wanted to hit him.

My girl just looked at me, and I nodded yes. There was no way we were turning out family. We would have to see about moving Clark in with us as well. I was suddenly thankful we had added a service elevator to our new apartment.

"We'll be taking care of both of them. They'll be coming home with us when they're released," I said firmly.

Emma looked up at me gratefully and hugged me tightly. I kissed her head, trying to convey my commitment to this. We would take care of her family. There was never any question of it for me.

Paige's doctor came out shortly thereafter and said the same thing Jimmy had told us over the phone. There really was no hope. They were just keeping her alive to carry the baby inside of her.

Clark's doctor came out looking haggard but smiled. "His extensive operations have gone well. I was able to save his leg and arm, but they'll have limited mobility for some time. He'll need a good year of physical therapy or more, before he’ll be able to use them again. He's going to have to learn to write and eat with his left hand. It isn't his dominate one, so it's probably going to be very frustrating for him. He's never going to have enough fine motor skills in his right hand to manipulate a pencil to write again. He should be able to grab light things with it after some extensive physical therapy exercises. We have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't develop any infections, but once his leg and arm are physically healed, and he's safe from developing infection, he should be able to go home."

"How long is that going to take?" I asked.

"Probably a good six weeks, as we had to reattach a large portion of both limbs. We need to be sure there's good circulation going in both of them as well. It's vital to the healing process," the doctor explained.

"When can we see him?" I asked.

The doctor looked at his watch. "I can take you back now."

We followed him down the cold white halls into the hospital room. Clark was wrapped up pretty tightly in white gauze and strapped down so he couldn't move.

"He's under the influence of some heavy muscle relaxers. It's vital at this time to keep him from moving or even attempting to flex his muscles in the reattached limbs. You can talk with him, but he won't be waking up for a while.

My girl had tears streaming down her face. I could see her crumbling and caught her, pulling her over to a chair and holding her in my arms. I kissed her head, whispering in her ear that he was going to be fine, reminding her that she hadn't lost her father; he was just resting to heal. I held her until she cried herself to sleep, going limp from exhaustion, and I moved us to the little couch in the room and lay down with her. I was exhausted as well.

I didn't know how I could even consider leaving her now.

Chapter 54 - All of Me

My momma helped me arrange to have Clark and Paige moved to hospitals nearby in South Carolina. They had to be flown here on medical jets, taking up the last little bit of reward money I had. I called Captain Towers, updating him on the condition of Emma's family. I didn't know how she would handle me leaving, but at this point, we really were going to need the money if we were going to be caring for little CJ, as Emma had been calling him. Also, the care of Paige and Clark themselves would cost a small fortune. Clark would have to go on disability, because at this point, there was absolutely no way for him to work.

Momma cleaned up her guestroom and put my twin bed in it for Clark. Our place wasn't going to be ready until after I returned in July. I hoped with her father and my momma keeping her busy, Emma would be alright. She seemed to settle down a little, as we prepared Clark's room for him. I figured seeing her father coming home alive would help put her mind at ease.

I spoke with momma to make sure she could handle taking care of my family while I was away, and she promised me she would. I knew she would see them as her own family as well. Warren was over daily, moving furniture and helping get things arranged, so Clark could get around in his wheelchair. He had to have a power one, as he needed to take it easy on his one arm.

My momma and Emma started pulling some of mine and Clayton's old baby things out of storage. She had a cradle for Emma to put little Clark Junior in. My father had made it for me, and she had kept it and used it when Clayton had been a baby as well. The heavy wood was sturdy and would be perfect for the baby. I just needed to sand and refinish the cradle, so it was fresh and clean for him.

We decided on holding off on buying the big baby things like the crib, until I returned from my run, so I could help pick them out. Momma insisted I be involved, as the stuff we bought for little CJ would eventually be for our children as well.

In the midst of all of this, Emma continued to do her schoolwork. I was truly amazed that she was still pulling that off. She didn't want the money to go to waste. I had already prepared financially for the summer semester as well, since I was going to be gone all summer. I didn't want her missing out.

Momma promised me she would help her out with the baby and Clark, so Emma could continue to take all her classes. I didn't care so much about the money going to waste, but I didn't want her dream going to waste. I really didn't want this to stop her from getting what she wanted in life.

We finally had things set, and it was only two days until I shipped out. I was antsy and ready to tell Captain Towers I couldn't go, but again, we really were in need of the money. Taking care of her parents and then her brother was really going to drain us financially. I just didn't see a way around it.

"What has you all worried-looking?" Emma asked.

"I don't want to leave you," I admitted.

She smiled softly and pulled me over to the bed. We snuggled up, and she kissed my lips. "I don't want you to have to go, either, but you need to do this. We need you to go. I've seen the bank statements, Devin. Even with my father's disability, we're going to be so tight. I know Abby is helping with the baby stuff, but when I looked online at the list of things we'll need to buy, there's just no way we can do it. Maybe if I drop out of school and get a refund…"

"NO!" I cut her off. "That’s not an option. I'll go to work, and you’ll go to school." I pulled her tightly into my arms, kissing her forehead, so she knew I wasn't upset. "I don't want you to even think about giving up what you want. I'll find a way to make it work. I just don't want you to struggle while I'm gone. If you need me, you call me, understand?" I said looking her straight in the eyes.

She let out a sigh. "Well, at least this year you won't be gone as long, and I'll have Abby, my dad and CJ to keep me busy."

"I'm sorry I can't be here for you. I want to be. You know that, right?" I asked, worried that she didn't know how much I truly loved her.

"I know." She leaned up and kissed me. I took a chance and leaned into the kiss, looking for more. I rejoiced a little when she let me and leaned in even more herself. She pulled back panting with sparkling eyes and then dove into my lips for a second go at them.

"I love you," she whispered.

My heart swelled. "Oh, baby, I love you, too. So much, I hope you know that."

"I do, Devin, I don't know what I did in heaven to deserve you, but I'm so glad I did it. I don't know what I’d do without you. Even with you leaving, I know you'll still come back to me. You're still mine."

"I am, baby, I'm only yours."

She cut me off by kissing me again, straddling me and grinding against me. This was the first time since we had moved in with my momma that she had initiated anything this serious. I didn't want to push her, but I knew I would love to do something intimate with her before I left.

She pulled her shirt off, only breaking from the kiss to pull it over her head, and then she dove back into my lips again. My hands quickly wove into her hair, loving the feel of it between my fingers. I figured her hair was safe to touch. She started pulling on my shirt, so I yanked it off. She moved down my neck, kissing my chest, slowly licking and nipping my skin. I was going to come any moment, I could feel it. She was still moving against me, but not as hard as she had been when she was sitting on me.

I was surprised to feel her moving to my jeans. When she popped my button, I moaned and bucked. She giggled in response and unhooked her bra. I was throbbing at that point. I didn't know if I could hold out much longer. It seemed like such a long time since I had gotten off.

She made her way up to my lips and whispered, "You can touch them."

I was hoping she was talking about her breasts, because that was really what I wanted to touch. I slowly grabbed her waist and moved my hand up her side, carefully watching her face the whole time. I brushed my thumb under her breast, feeling the soft skin, and she smiled at me wider. I carefully moved my thumb up toward the nipple, and when my finger ran over it, she moaned.

I froze for a moment, but I saw that she liked it and continued. She started kissing me again and held my hand to her breast, reaching for my left hand to grab her other one as well. She started grinding down on me hard, and I ended up losing it. She didn't seem to mind or stop, either. She lost it in my arms, and I was glad I was the one who could make her feel that.

We snuggled in bed for a moment, until she shifted and kicked her pants off, leaving her in just panties. I told her I needed to go get cleaned up, but she stopped me, telling me to stay where I was. She grabbed her robe and ran to our bathroom down the hall. She returned with a warm wet washcloth and wiped me down. She was touching me, and before I knew it, I was hard again. She gripped and stroked it, moaning just as hard as me. She seemed to really like touching me like this. I really liked having her touch me as well.

I finally sat up and started kissing her. I needed to feel her against my skin. Her breasts pressed up against my chest, and I squeezed one lightly, causing her to jump in my lap and drop her robe.

I stopped, shocked. She was naked. I was naked. We were naked! She must have taken her panties off when she had gone to the bathroom. Her warm wet flesh was pressed against me, causing me to nearly lose it again. I wanted her so badly. I was so close to having her. I tried to settle myself down, remembering how scared she had been last time this had happened.

"I want you," she moaned, as she kissed me.

I squeezed her perfect backside, forcing myself to hold still and not buck up inside of her. I wanted to so badly.

"Do you want me, Devin?" she asked, suddenly timid.

I pulled her lips to mine. "Always, I'll always want you and only you," I promised her. "I love you, Emma," I whispered against her lips, as she rubbed her soft flesh against me.

"I want you, I want all of you," she said, nipping at my neck and suddenly rubbing against me with more vigor. I grabbed her hips to slow her down. I didn't want her to do anything she would regret or be upset about. I kissed her softly, letting her know we didn't have to do this, but she dove in again, kissing me passionately.

"Emma," I said firmly, "Please, baby, you're making it difficult for me not to..." I moaned, unable to finish my plea.

"I'm not going to wait anymore. I almost lost my family, Devin. Dante is dead, his goons are in jail. I don't want you to leave without taking part of me with you."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"I don't want to miss out on doing this with you," she whispered, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Anything can happen in life. No one knows how much time we have on earth. I don't want to waste any more of it, Devin. I don't want to waste another second of it being too afraid to love you completely. You have me completely, and it's time I let you claim it. I'm yours," she said firmly.

I leaned in, kissing her again, but this time I wasn't going to stop. She was mine. She was my wife, my lover, my life. I would give her anything she wanted.

She gasped in pain and squinted her eyes, and I stopped immediately, worried that it hurt too much for her. I kissed her face all over, and she smiled up at me, claiming my lips. They were hers. I was hers, all of me. She regulated her breathing, and I felt her relax around me minutely. "Go ahead," she whispered.

"Are you sure you're okay? We don't have to," I said breathing a little hard, as I held my body still. I had never done this, but my instincts had kicked into overdrive. I wanted to pump my body in and out of hers like there was no tomorrow, but I refused to let myself move until I knew she was really okay, and then I would force myself to be gentle with her.

"Yes, please, Devin, I want you," she begged me, and I pushed forward slowly.

"Faster. Like a Band-Aid," she gritted out.

I hated that I was hurting her. I pushed forward quickly, seating myself deep inside of her. She cried out in pain. I stopped again, holding still and looking down at her. Breathing in deeply again, I felt her start to relax around me. I kissed her face softly. "Let me know if you're ready, or if you want me to stop. I'll wait for you."

Her body was softer than anything I had ever felt and moist, gripping me tightly. I could feel her insides flex, as she tried to relax them and accept me into her. After a few moments, she told me I could move. I pumped a few times and came on the fifth heavenly stroke. I felt bad I didn't get her off, but she pulled me down into her arms and kissed me.

"Sorry," I grunted, "I've never…I mean, I don't know how to last, and you just feel really, really good," I groaned.

I carefully pulled out, cringing when I saw the blood and felt the loss of our closeness. I grabbed for the washcloth she had used on me and carefully dabbed her clean, a little relieved that it was cold, because I was sure if it was warm like when she had used it on me, it would have hurt her more. I kissed her tummy and looked up into her eyes. "Are you okay? Do I need to get you some pain medicine or something?"

She smiled and shook her head no. "I took some ibuprofen when I went to the bathroom earlier." I looked at her worried. "Faye said it would help ease the pain and swelling if it was already in my system."

"Oh," was my genius response, because what did you say to that? I should have thought of that. I should have looked into this before I did it, so I would know what to do for her pain and swelling. My insides cringed.

"Devin?" she said my name worried, cupping my face.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," I whispered.

She just smiled. "I'm not, and next time it won't hurt so much. I hear that sometimes it actually can feel really good," she teased.

I leaned over and kissed her softly. "Thank you. You felt amazing. I'm sorry I couldn't make it good for you."

"You love me, and that’s all I need. We'll learn together. I didn't expect fireworks, Devin. We're both figuring this out, and I love that. I love that I'm your first and last."

I pulled her tightly to me, needing to feel her skin against mine, as I kissed her. "Yours, only yours ever, Emma, you're the only one I'll ever want."

She looked up into my eyes to see if I was sincere, and I was. I hoped she saw that. She must have, because she smiled and snuggled impossibly tighter into me. She had given me what I had waited so long for, and I knew I would always be hers completely.

~*~

I pulled Emma into my arms tighter, not wanting to leave her side, even though my bladder was screaming at me this morning. She had let me take her last night. I’d had my wife for the first time, and even though it wasn't everything they made it out to be in the movies, it was still perfect, because it was with my wife.

She had snuggled into me with a gentle smile, and that was how we had fallen asleep, and now this morning, I didn't want to move her or leave her. I just wanted to stay here, holding her for the rest of my life, content with her by my side. I loved her. I had known I loved her for a while now, and I knew she loved me, making what we had done so much more special. I didn't want to leave. I pulled her even closer, and she groaned a little. I worried that I'd hurt her and loosened my hold. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at me.

"You okay?" I asked worried that I had squeezed her too tightly.