Phenomenal X (15 page)

It takes everything in me not to cry. Even though I know accidents happen, I feel like a failure. The sight of the broken plates confirms my earlier speculation that maybe I’m not so cut out for the real world after all.

“What the hell happened?” I glance up at Andy, who is sizing up the mess with a furrowed brow. “Are you hurt?”

“Are you kidding?” Alice snickers. “Her ass is fat enough to cushion her landing.”

“Watch it, Alice,” Quinn barks as she helps me up and asks, “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” I dust off my knees and pause when I see the scarlet liquid on my fingertips.

Xavier pushes past my cousin and scans me from head to toe.

“You’re bleeding.” He scoops me up into his massive arms and shifts his gaze to Andy. “Where’s your first aid kit?”

“On the wall in my office, through the kitchen,” Andy replies, and Xavier takes off in that direction.

My eyes trace Xavier’s concerned face. “I can walk, you know.”

He shakes his head. “There could be glass in that cut. No walking until I look at it.”

“I didn’t know you were a doctor too,” I tease.

He smirks. “Don’t be a smartass. I just know a lot about fixing wounds.”

Xavier sets me on Andy’s desk and grabs the kit off the wall. Without any hint of hesitation he rifles through the box, searching for the correct supplies to treat my leg. His last words ring in my ears, reminding me there’s so much about him I don’t know about.

He brings over a bottle of peroxide and gauze and sets the open box next to me. He pours a capful of solution and opens one of the sterile bandages. “This won’t hurt. I just need to clean it up.” After I nod, he holds the gauze below the small cut on my knee and pours the peroxide into the wound. It bubbles and fizzes—flushing the germs out before he dumps another capful into it. His eyes inspect the cut, and I know the logical reaction would be for me to be worried about the pain, but all I can focus on are his large hands on my body. The tenderness of his touch causes my stomach to flip. “You don’t appear to have any glass in there—looks like just a bad scrape.”

He dabs some triple antibiotic ointment on a clean wad of gauze and applies it to the cut before covering it with a bandage. His skill amazes me. My father would never have been able to do that. Injuries like this were always handled by my mother, which makes me wonder why Xavier is so good at it. “Where did you learn how to do all this?”

He shrugs. “Just something I learned over time. I’ve always had to take care of myself, you know.”

One corner of my mouth pulls down into a small frown. “Did your mom teach you?” I know the question is prying, and he’s told me he doesn’t talk about his family, but I can’t help wondering what happened to him when he was a little boy.

Xavier blows a rush of air through his nostrils. “My mom died when I was a kid.”

I gasp and instantly wish I could take back my nosy question. “I’m so sorry. That’s terrible. How old were you?”

He swallows hard and tosses the open packages in the trash. “Eight.”

My heart instantly crushes in my chest. I can’t imagine losing someone as important as your mother at such an early age.

I place my hand on his, attempting to comfort him, but he jerks away and shakes his head. “This is exactly why I don’t talk about my family. I hate pity. Don’t feel sorry for me.”

I flinch at the sudden change in tone. “I’m sorry, I just…I want you to know I’m here for you…if you ever want to talk about her.”

He closes the box and latches it shut. “I’ve done just fine not talking about her for this long, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. She’s dead. I’m over it.”

I can tell by the pained expression on his face that’s far from the truth. “It’s okay to miss her—”

“Enough!” he snaps. “Damn it. Are you always this nosy?”

“Are you always this evasive?” I fire back, unable to stop myself.

He directs his stern blue eyes to me in what I’m sure is a look that’s meant to get me to back off, but it doesn’t scare me. Not one bit.

“I just think that if you talked about her—”

“That what? I’ll suddenly be a better person. News flash, beautiful, that’s not how shit works in the real world. Dragging up things from the past only fucks with people’s heads more. It doesn’t magically heal them. People don’t talk about certain things for a reason, and believe me, I have mine.”

“It’s still not healthy. If you would just—”

“Why don’t you follow your own advice, huh? I saw the bruises on your arm that first day. Why don’t you tell me what made you really run away from home? What was so bad? Did your boyfriend beat you? Your father? Who?” The air whooshes from my lungs and he takes in my panicked expression. “It’s not so easy to talk about something
you
don’t want to, is it?”

Memories of the day I left home flood my mind. Thoughts of what I went through just to make it out of there cause a sob to rip out of me. Damn him for making me feel this way—for making me remember the hellish life I left behind.

“Damn it.” Xavier closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them and reaching out to embrace me. “I’m sorry, Anna. I shouldn’t have…
fuck
.”

I shake my head as guilt washes over me, finally understanding why he didn’t want to talk about his past. The pain of my own past is hard to bear, and I can only imagine what he must feel like if his was worse than mine.

“I’m sorry too.” I bury my face in his chest and continue to cry softly.

We stay like that for a few minutes—both quiet and unmoving. For a moment it feels like whatever wall Xavier has built around himself comes down a bit, allowing me to see inside, if only for a brief moment. The memories that haunt him aren’t something he obviously wants to discuss, so I’ll respect that, but I hope one day he’ll trust me enough to let me in all the way.

Quinn clears her throat. “Everything all right in here?”

Xavier pushes away from me and takes in my tear-stained face. He grimaces, like the sight of me causes him physical pain, before stepping back. “I’ve got to go.”

Panic fills me. He’s pulling away just as I thought we were getting somewhere, and it scares me. I don’t know him well enough to know whether I’ll ever see him again, if he walks out this door right now. “Xavier…wait. Please.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t.”

I swallow hard as he zips past Quinn in the doorway and possibly out of my life forever.

I bite down on my lip and try to force the tears of abandonment away. It’s crazy to feel this way about him, but I can’t help it. There’s so much more to him than the tough persona he presents to the world. He’s hurting, and I just wish I knew how to help him.

“What was all that about?” Quinn asks the moment Xavier is out of earshot. “You sure you two aren’t sleeping together, because that felt fucking intense.”

I sniff and grab a tissue from Andy’s desk. “I think I just pushed him away.”

She tilts her head. “How did you do that?”

“He told me that he doesn’t talk about his family, and I couldn’t stop myself from prying. He got upset. We both said some things…then apologized, and now I’m not sure where we stand.” I wipe under my eyes, the black mascara staining the tissue. “I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again after this.”

Admitting out loud that I might not see him again causes another sob to rip through me. My cousin is instantly at my side, hugging me.

I wrap my arms around her, and she sighs. “Oh shit. This is worse than I thought. You have feelings for him already, don’t you?”

While it must be obvious that I do, saying it out loud makes it real, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that. But I have to give her something. Quinn won’t stop pushing me for details unless I do.

I close my eyes, and tear rolls down my cheek. “I don’t know what’s going on between us. All I know is the idea of never seeing him again…it scares me.”

She nods. “I completely understand. Things are still new between the two of you, and it’s hard to dig into heavy issues at this stage, but you can’t let him leave Detroit with this weight hanging between the two of you. You have to let him know you’re here for him.”

“What if he doesn’t want to see me again?”

Quinn smiles. “He does. Trust me. You should go after him.”

“Now?” I shake my head. “I can’t. What would Andy say if I just left in the middle of my shift?”

She waves me off. “I’ll tell him your leg hurt, and you needed to go home and rest. He’ll be so worried over the worker’s comp claim he won’t bat an eye about you leaving. Here,”—she digs in her pocket—”take my car.”

I furrow my brow. “Do you want me to come back and pick you up?”

“No.” She grins. “Brock will give me a ride.”

I raise my eyebrows. “I take it you two are getting along now?”

Her grin widens, and she licks her lips. “You could say that. We’ve been working on it the past two nights in the parking lot after work in the backseat of his car.”

I laugh and hop off the desk with only a minor stinging pain on my knee. “You guys are too much. Call me if you need a ride, and I’ll come back for you.”

“Will do. Speaking of calling…” Quinn pauses for a beat. “Did you call Uncle Simon yet?”

“No,” I whisper. “I’m still not ready to talk to him yet.”

Quinn frowns. “Okay, but you should consider doing that soon. Ma says he’s worried sick and been talking about flying out here so you’ll talk to him. It’s been a week, Anna. I don’t know how much longer Ma can stall him.”

I sigh. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

That answer seems to satisfy her because she nods. “Good plan. Two overly emotional men in one night might be too much for you.”

I roll my eyes. “Goodnight, cuz.”

“Night. Don’t do anything that I’d do.” She winks.

“Isn’t the saying don’t do anything that I
wouldn’t
do?”

“That’s exactly my point. If you were like me, you’d fuck that man into submission. Your ‘friends first’ tactic seems to be working, so don’t be like me,” she teases before she struts by the two cooks, smacking Brock’s ass as she passes by on her way to the dining room.

Brock stares after her and says to no one in particular in a dreamy voice, “I love to watch that girl go.”

Sooner or later I’m going to have to get the scoop on those two.

The moment I lock myself into Quinn’s Honda, I scroll through my phone to find Xavier’s number. If he’s on his bike he’s not going to answer, so it’s pointless calling right now. There’s only one place that I know he likes to go, so I crank the engine alive and head in the direction of the diner.

Nerves jitter through me as I drive through the city. What in the hell am I suppose to say to him? Am I supposed to tell him that I’m sorry again, or do we drop it and move on? What if he sees me and walks away, angry that I didn’t get the hint the first time?

I sigh and keep driving, because I have to at least try. I don’t want our friendship to get crushed because I couldn’t take a hint and back off a touchy subject.

I pull into the parking lot, and there’s no sign of Xavier’s bike. My shoulders sag as it occurs to me that I have no clue where he lives. We’ve only ever met in public places, so I don’t even know how to attempt to find him. I pull out my cell and dial his number but it instantly connects to his voice mail. “It’s Anna. Call me, please.”

I drum my fingers on the wheel and debate my next move until I spot Nettie through the window, serving tables.

She’ll know where I can find him.

I hop out of the car and shove my phone in my back pocket as I make my way toward the diner’s entrance. It’s then, in the distance, I hear a motorcycle rumble. I stop in my tracks and wrap my arms around myself as I stare in the direction of the sound.

Xavier pulls into view, and my eyes glue to him. His dark hair blows back while the dark sunglasses he’s wearing hide his eyes from me. The material of his black t-shirt strains against the defined muscles in his chest and arms, and his jeans hug his powerful thighs perfectly. He’s sexiness personified, and I can’t tear my eyes away.

He parks next to me but because of his glasses I can’t get a good read on his expression. Xavier flicks down the kickstand and swings his leg off the bike. “What are you doing here, Anna?”

I hug myself tighter. “I didn’t like how we left things.”

He leans back against his bike and crosses his arms over his chest, still hiding his eyes behind the dark plastic. “Don’t sweat it. It’s over. Let’s not rehash the bullshit.”

There’s no doubt the small crack I broke through has now been bricked shut, and I’ve learned pushing him doesn’t always end with the result that I want.

I readjust my arms and nod. “You’re right. No need to discuss things we’ve dealt with.”

His lips pull into a tight line. “Then why are you here?”

I take a step toward him, feeling the pull that connects us drawing me to him. “I wanted to make sure we’re still all right.”

“We’re still friends. Nothing will change that.” Coldness rings through his voice and it scares me. I don’t want him to push me away.

I take another step, unable to stop myself from getting closer to him. He raises his eyebrows as I straddle one of his legs and place my hands on his sides. “
Nothing
?”

Xavier shakes his head. “No.”

An overwhelming need to taste his lips flows through me, and I can no longer fight against it.

“Then I’m breaking rule number two of our friendship clause.”

And with no clue what in the hell I’m doing, I lean in and press my lips to his.

His entire body tenses for a moment—muscles contracting beneath my touch before relaxing as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his hard chest. His tongue flicks across my lips, begging to be let in. The instant he thrusts his tongue into my mouth, he emits a low growl from the back of his throat. My sex clenches as I find myself more turned on by him than ever.

A wave of pure, unadulterated lust washes over me, and I curl my fingers into the fabric of his shirt, wanting to hold him next to me forever. Large fingers slide over my collarbone and up my neck before finally cradling my cheek, locking me in place. There’s no going back now. I have most definitely crossed a line, but I don’t care. I want this.