Picks & Pucks (13 page)

“You’re going to kill me, and if you don’t, Marina will hack me into little bits and serve me in a stew. I know you both worked hard on it, but I’m not feeling it. I mean, even Kenny noticed.”

Eli poked me. “Calm down, Justin. You’re not making any sense.”

“Right,” I said.

“He wants to change his long program. And the short too,” Eli blurted.

“The short too?” I gasped.

“Yes, I have music for the short.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“A mix of music from
Harry Potter
.”

I let the words sink in, remembering some of the music from the movies. Curiosity crawled up my back. “Can I hear it?”

“Wait a minute!” Janae shrieked. “Are you both crazy? We have less than three weeks before Skate America. Marina is going to have a meltdown. I’m… you can’t do this.”

Eli patted her shoulder and handed her my phone. “Yes, he can. He came home to change his life, get rid of his demons, and this is part of it.”

“You know about the demons?”

He cocked his head, giving me a look that said,
everyone in the world knows about your demons.

“When has he ever done anything by the book?” Eli asked.

“True,” Janae said. “I need to sit down.” She yanked on her long hair, pulled it back in a ponytail and then let it fall forward again. Her leg shook until Eli put his hand on her thigh and she looked at him. He took the phone from her and pushed play, then carefully placed it back in her hands. She cradled it and watched.

When it ended, she hit Play again and again and again until her bouncing leg and soft murmurs were setting my teeth on edge and I wanted to pull my hair out.

“This is fucking fantastic,” she finally said, breathing deeply in between each word.

“I know,” Eli said.

“We have four days before she arrives. We won’t tell her anything. We’ll debut the program when she gets here.”

“What about the short?” Eli asked. “I have the music ready.”

“We’re really changing the short too?” Panic slipped into her voice, and my knees gave out, making me sit down on the bench next to her.

The demons hovered nearby, not knowing what to think about this situation. Janae leaned against me, laying her head on my shoulder. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure,” I said.

“I have demons too. I’ve been angry with you for a long time, until Dad said something that made me stop and realize this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I wasn’t made for the limelight, to be the star. I was put here to help others achieve their dreams. Maybe even to help you find your way to the top, where you belong. Mom saw it in you. She knew how mad I was when you started taking lessons from Marina. Everything came so easy for you, and I was so jealous I actually wanted you to fail.

“Two days before her accident, Mom pulled me off the ice and reminded me that you were my little brother, you didn’t do any of this on purpose, and it would be nice if I would help you. I snapped at her and blamed her for not believing in my abilities like she believed in yours. In her eyes, you could do anything. I told her she was a terrible mother for playing favorites.” She shuddered.

“She died before I could take it back.”

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and looked at her. The demons had moved closer.

“It took me a while, but I know it’s not true,” Janae whispered. “She loved us all.”

The demons seemed to sigh, and a few of them faded away like dissipating mist. The weight on my shoulders lessened a fraction, and I could breathe easier. Maybe coming back here had been a good idea.

“I’ll help you any way you need me. And if that means changing your programs, that’s what we’ll do. We’ve got a ton of work to get through in the next few days, and I still have commitments to my students. Eli, you’re going to have to step up and give me a hand with choreography.”

“Let’s transfer this video to your computer so we can take a closer look. You can tell me exactly what elements he needs to achieve the highest score,” Eli said.

“Can you put the music on again?” I asked. “I just want to mess around with a couple things.” Janae smiled, and Eli helped both of us to our feet. “I know this is insane, but thanks, I already feel better.”

“You should have said something earlier,” Janae scolded.

“I seriously didn’t realize something was wrong with the programs. I’m used to feeling miserable all the time, and I thought I could work through it.”

“Justin,” she said. “I believe in you.”

“I believe in you too.”

“Hey, I’m feeling a little left out here,” Eli whined.

“We believe in you too, darling,” I said, winking at him. He gave me a bear hug and kissed Janae on the cheek.

I spent the next hour skating while Janae and Eli had their faces pressed up against her computer screen. Their wild arm gestures would catch my eye, and I’d have to stop just to watch them interact. They acted more like brother and sister than Janae and I ever did, which was sort of creepy because Eli had asked her out several times.

A few of Janae’s students showed up early, and I invited them to skate with me. Carly especially fascinated me. She was a very flexible skater with uncanny spinning ability. Watching her twist her body around made my muscles ache and beg for me to never try those positions. One’s leg does not normally bend that far backward.

They asked me all sorts of questions about competing at the senior level and winning Junior Worlds. I did the best I could to answer all their questions.

“Hey, Justin,” Janae shouted. “You have an appointment with Jesse for a massage.”

It took me a few minutes to decide if my body was up to being kneaded and worked by Jesse, but I decided not to argue with Janae. We’d been through enough this morning.

As I took off my skates, I listened to Janae talk with her students about their goals for the day. They never questioned her, never looked away to mess around with their skates or each other. What Janae was telling them was important, and they wanted to learn from her. She was amazing, and I saw glimpses of my dad in her.

Eli sat down next to me and bumped my shoulder. “You good?”

“I think so.”

“Number seventeen is living at your house.”

I pursed my lips and nodded. “Freaked the shit out of me this morning. He was half-naked when I ran into him.”

“And how was that?”

“I didn’t get much of a chance to look.”

“Promise me you’ll be careful,” he said, trying to keep his serious face in place. It didn’t last long before he laughed. “I was going to say behave yourself, but we both know that’s impossible.”

“I need to have my skates sharpened and get to my massage.”

“I’ll text you and we’ll meet at home for dinner,” Eli said.

I slung my skates over my shoulder and headed toward my dad’s office.

“W
E
MEET
again,” CJ said when he came out of the locker room.

“Oh boy,” I said.

“Are you a figure skater?” CJ asked.

“What gave it away?” I asked sarcastically. “My tight pants or the figure skates I’m carrying?”

“Sorry I asked,” CJ said and brushed by me.

A moment of weakness or utter stupidity came over me, and I went against all my rules. “Hey wait,” I shouted. CJ stopped but kept his back to me. “Look, I’m sorry for being a dick, but things are far from stable in my life and complications just keep increasing.”

“Forget it,” he said. “I’ll just stay out of your way.”

“Shit,” I mumbled. “CJ, that’s not what I meant. It’s just….” I paused and rolled my eyes. I didn’t mean to be an asshole to this guy.

The locker room door opened in the middle of my stammering sentence. Danny, Spock, and Kirk came out, dressed in workout gear. The last thing the new guy needed was to be seen talking with me. They stopped and stared at us.

“Is Jeff around?” I asked, quickly. He was the only person in town I trusted to sharpen my blades.

Danny narrowed his eyes, looking hard at CJ and me.

“It’s a simple fucking question,” I snapped.

“Yeah,” Kirk finally answered. “He’s in his office.”

“Thank you,” I said and shoved past the idiots.

Danny laughed and whispered something to Kirk. I shook my head and plowed through a few more hockey players.

The rest of the day was uneventful. The massage was tolerable, and I only squeaked a couple of times. Jesse laughed, telling me he was barely touching me. I told him it felt like he was walking on me in spiked heels.

“You’ve experienced that before?” Jesse asked.

“Um, no, but I have a vivid imagination.”

He laughed and continued with the torture. I didn’t think I’d ever understand why people liked massages so much. It made everything from my skin to my bones hurt. I wanted to get home and take a hot bath.

When I stumbled into the house, to my surprise, CJ stood in the kitchen wearing an apron and peeling potatoes. Visions of coming home to a naked apron-wearing CJ floated through my mind. I lowered my head, hid my eyes, and grabbed a carrot stick.

“Dinner will be ready in a half hour,” CJ said quietly.

“Yes, dear,” I said before I could censor my stupid mouth. The corners of CJ’s mouth twitched, so I almost got a smile from him. He tossed a potato into a kettle, splashing water on the counter. My face was so hot I probably could have boiled those potatoes on my cheek. “I’ll just go in here, er, and wait for dinner.”

Janae and Eli found me in the living room, staring at a blank TV screen. They both watched me for a few seconds but said nothing. I must have looked slightly crazy.

“Dad wants to talk to you,” Janae said. “He’s probably outside waiting.”

“Why doesn’t he come inside?”

“Just go talk to him,” Janae said.

“Fine,” I grumbled and grabbed a jacket. He pulled up just as I opened the front door, and he waved at me to get in the car.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“You didn’t come and talk to me after practice.”

“I forgot,” I answered quickly.

“You’ve met Colton?”

“He’s living in the same house as me. I’ve met him.”

“Take it easy on the kid. He’s had a tough time. His story is not mine to tell, but I would be grateful if you made an effort to be nice to him.”

I narrowed my eyes. My dad had never asked me to interact with his hockey players before.

“Let’s go inside before they get curious,” he said, glancing at his watch. I got out of the car and followed him inside. I had no idea what to think about the whole situation. Janae and Eli were waiting for me in the living room.

“Everything okay?” Janae asked.

“Peachy,” I answered.

“You get the evening off,” Janae said. “Eli and I are going to wade through this program so most of it will be ready to go for your morning skate.”

“We both think you should watch
Braveheart
tonight,” Eli said.

Janae handed me the DVD. I’d seen the movie before, but it would be nice to refresh my memory, and I wasn’t going to refuse a night off to watch a movie.

CJ poked his head around the corner and told us dinner was ready. My dad was already seated at the table. Dinner conversation centered around my skate this morning. Apparently, Kenny babbled about a new long program in the works.

“Is it true?” my dad asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Eli put together awesome music, and everything just clicked.”

“Here,” Eli said, handing my dad his phone. CJ and my dad squished together and watched the tiny screen. When it finished, my dad replayed it. Three times.

“I think Marina is going to have a stroke, but I will back you. She’d be crazy not to change. This program will push you over the top.” My dad patted me on the shoulder. “Dinner was great, CJ. Thank you, but I need to get home.”

We said our good-byes to my dad and continued eating. I wanted CJ to be a prick, to fit nicely into my category of a typical cocky, asshole hockey player. Unlike Danny, who liked to be the center of attention, CJ was quiet. It almost seemed like he didn’t want anyone to notice him. Eli got a few words out of him when they started discussing tattoos.

The conversation turned back to skating when CJ asked if Janae was coaching me. She grinned like a smitten schoolgirl. “How do you know I coach?” she asked.

“I follow figure skating,” he said.

“There’s no way!” I shouted before I could shut my mouth. “You didn’t even know who I was.”

I sounded like a fucking diva.

“I never said I didn’t know who you were, but we had never been properly introduced,” CJ said. “I thought, since we were living in the same house, I deserved the courtesy of an introduction. I guess I was wrong.”

“Burn,” Eli whispered. If my eyes could shoot daggers, Eli would be severely wounded.

CJ stood up and left before any of us could say another word.

Both Eli and Janae started to say something, but I gave them a glare that could have started the entire city on fire.

“Don’t you all need to leave?” I asked.

Before I could set my fork on the table, they had rushed out the door, with shouts about me cleaning the kitchen.

“Well, shit,” I grumbled as I cleared the table. I stuffed the plates and utensils into the dishwasher as I cursed arrogant hockey players. The demons roared, reminding me that I had been a total jerk to CJ and he had every right to return the favor.

“Shut up,” I said.

After cleaning the kitchen and throwing my dirty clothes into the wash, I settled on the couch with a giant bottle of water and some popcorn with no butter. The competitive season was too close for me to put on extra weight. But who can watch a movie with no popcorn? I was so into the movie and music I didn’t hear the front door open nor did I realize CJ was standing next to the couch until he cleared his throat.

“Hey,” he said.

I paused the movie. “Hey,” I said. “I thought you left?”

“Just went for a quick jog to clear my head.”

“Oh.”

“Can we start over?”

I stared at him for a few seconds before I restarted the movie at the beginning.

“Not the movie, you and me,” CJ said, holding out his hand. “But I would like to watch the movie.
Braveheart
is on my favorites list.”