Picks & Pucks (16 page)

“I can’t do this,” I muttered against his chest. “You’re a hockey player and nothing good ever—”

His nose pressed against my cheek as I turned away from him. It would be a mistake to kiss him, although at the moment I wasn’t sure why it would be a mistake. He took a huge breath and moved me away from his body. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall, cursing my fucked-up life.

“I’m sorry,” he said and walked upstairs, leaving me wondering why he had apologized to me.

I spent the rest of the evening sipping wine and watching Eli and Taylor giggle and whisper. Sometimes I thought they were going to kiss, but Eli would get flustered and move away from him. I wanted to pull Eli aside and give him a pep talk, but my body parts weren’t all working properly.

Eventually, things just faded away, and the night disappeared.

S
UNLIGHT
WAS
a horrible thing when you were nursing the hangover from hell. The brightness made my head pound. The litany of promises to never drink again were on the tip of my tongue, but then I spotted Eli curled up on the floor with his head resting on Taylor’s chest. The sickeningly sweet sight made me feel like a proud mama bear. At least someone got the boy.

The demons perched on the coffee table and stared at me. I nodded, acknowledging them. They frowned and floated to the ceiling.

Across the room, I saw movement and heard a low groan.

“Something died in my mouth,” Eli whined. “And my back is killing me. Why in the world did I sleep on the floor?”

“Shhhhh,” I hissed. Eli sat up and stared at me. I pointed at the floor, and he quickly snapped his head down to look at a still-sleeping Taylor.

“Please tell me I’m not dreaming.”

“You’re not dreaming.”

“Did I kiss him?”

“Don’t know?”

“Well, shit,” he said. “What happened to CJ?”

“He—”

The front door opened, and a blast of cold air raced into the living room. Taylor shivered and opened his eyes.

“Rise and shine,” CJ said. “I have grease.” He held up several bags from a fast-food restaurant.

“Oh God,” Taylor moaned. “You have the best friends. I think I love you.” He suddenly realized what he’d said, and all his visible skin turned bright red.

Eli stopped breathing, and his mouth dropped open.

CJ’s cold hand touched my shoulder, and I jumped. “Let’s go eat,” CJ whispered.

The last thing I saw was Eli moving in for a kiss.

CJ tossed the bags on the table and handed me a bottle of orange juice.

“Thanks,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” he answered.

I shifted in my seat, wondering if I should say anything about Eli and Taylor, but I didn’t really know what to say. I mean, we had almost kissed in the hallway, so I didn’t think he was homophobic. But I had never been good at reading people.

I rolled my eyes as I thought about Danny and how different he acted in public. Get him alone and he transformed into a loving, attentive guy. Put him with a bunch of straight guys and he turned into every gay boy’s nightmare with the name-calling and smartass comments.

I leaned on the table and sipped my juice, nibbling on my breakfast sandwich. CJ went to the fridge and handed me a bowl of sliced fruit. I wondered where it came from, until I glanced at the mess on the counter. I figured he had cut it up for me.

“Food,” Eli moaned as he stumbled into the kitchen. His crazy hair was plastered to his head, and his guyliner had smeared, making him look like a scrawny football player who got carried away with the eye black. Taylor’s lips were bright red and wet with spit. His eyes were glazed over, and when he went to sit down, he ended up on Eli’s lap.

Eli giggled before moaning loudly and grabbing his head. “Hangover from hell.”

“Agreed,” Taylor said, slowly slipping into the open chair. Eli pouted but smiled when Taylor grabbed his hand.

The food helped put some color into everyone’s cheeks. Taylor shifted his chair so he was almost back in Eli’s lap. I made a show of dropping my napkin on the ground so I could check out what was going on under the table. Their legs were pressed tightly together from hip to ankle, and a wave of jealousy raced through me when I thought about how lucky Eli was at the moment.

I wasn’t so proud that I couldn’t admit I was a little interested in CJ, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings. I didn’t have time to pine after another hockey boy. The best thing I could do was shut the feelings down.

The demons swarmed me, making me remember what I’d had to endure when I was with Danny. He ran hot and cold, and it gave me whiplash.

“Jesus, Justin, I’ve never been with anyone like you,” Danny muttered as he sucked on my collarbone. “So hot. So pretty.”

“I bet you say that to all the boys and girls,” I said, gasping when he brushed his fingers over the head of my cock.

“Nope. Only you.”

Two hours later he was shouting shit about lipstick and glitter in a rink full of guys. I wanted to kill him.

“J
USTIN
!” E
LI
shouted.

“What?”

“You’re ignoring everyone.”

“I’m eating,” I said and shoved a huge piece of melon into my mouth.

CJ laughed and my stomach plummeted. He bumped me with his shoulder, and I glanced over at Eli. He rested his head on Taylor’s shoulder, grinning at him like he was going to pass out from sheer happiness. I left the room and walked upstairs to clean up.

Brushing my teeth turned into taking a long, hot shower and jacking off to relieve the tension from the past night. Hopefully, if I lingered in the bathroom long enough, everyone would have disappeared. Even though it was my day off, I was going to the rink. I needed to skate.

Unfortunately, when I walked out of the bathroom, CJ was sitting on the floor, leaning against my bedroom door with his eyes closed. I paused for a few seconds to admire him. Not a great idea, because my dick decided the view was nice.

I had no way to get into my room without moving him, so I nudged him with my foot. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times before he looked at me.

“Do you need something?” I asked.

He rose to his feet and stepped into my space. The demons pressed in close, crowding us so we were standing chest to chest. I couldn’t breathe with him this close to me.

“Eli and Taylor seem to be getting along,” he said.

I nodded. “If you’re not okay with them, you should move on. And just so you know, I’m gay.”

He backed into my room, tugging on my belt loop so I had to follow.

“I’m not really interested in labels,” he said. “Was I getting my signals mixed up?”

I should have lied and said I wasn’t giving off any signals, but he was staring at me with a look that could melt an iceberg.

“This isn’t a good idea,” I said, sliding my thigh between his legs.

“It never is,” he answered.

But when he placed his fingers under my chin and tilted my head up, I didn’t stop him. When he pressed his lips against mine, I didn’t back away. When he licked into my mouth, I opened up and tasted him. When he pushed me toward my bed, I let my legs hit, and as I was falling, I dragged him down on top of me.

What I didn’t expect was for him to stop and climb off me.

“When you are ready,” he said. “Come find me.”

He pressed a quick kiss to my cheek and disappeared. The demons hovered above me, frowning. All of us were confused as hell.

“Christ,” I muttered.

I heard the front door open and close, so I figured CJ had left and it was safe for me to go downstairs.

Eli was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the pile of garbage from our fast-food breakfast. He had several hickeys on his throat. He looked up at me with a dazed look, and I swear stars sparkled in his eyes.

“Hi,” he said.

“Anything you want to tell me?”

He sighed. “He’s perfect.”

“So I take it things went according to plan?”

“Better. The boy can kiss.”

“I can see that. Is he part leech or something?”

Eli chuckled. “We got a little excited.”

“You be careful,” I said.

“That’s my line,” he said. “But don’t worry, Taylor wants to take things slow. Apparently, he just broke up with a long-time boyfriend, and he doesn’t want me to think I’m a rebound thing. I’m cool with taking things slow, because I really don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Slow is good, Eli.”

“I’m still confused about the top and bottom thing.”

“You’ll know when the time is right,” I answered.

“What about you?” he asked.

“I already know what I am,” I answered.

“You know what I mean,” he said.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Don’t lie to me, Justin. Your lips are swollen, and CJ stumbled out the door looking like he was on the moon.”

I shook my head. “I’m not lying. He kissed me, pressed his body against mine, and then stopped, climbed off me, and told me that when I was ready to come find him.”

“Do you like him?”

“He’s easy to like.”

“Then what’s the problem? And don’t give me that hockey boy crap.”

“It’s not crap. He’s a hockey player. A really good hockey player, and he has his own demons. Something happened at his old school that he won’t talk about.”

“I could possibly do a little search for you. I’m a good fucking spy. This school should offer a detective degree. I bet I could get mine in two years,” he said.

“I don’t know if you should go snooping in his business. Both Janae and my dad said he’s had a tough year. I mean, why else would he switch schools?”

“I can be discreet,” he said and smiled.

“This is all fucking crazy, but if you decide to play PI, don’t tell me. I need to go to the rink and skate. I can think more clearly when I’m on the ice.”

“I’ll come with you. My dick hurts from thinking about Taylor.”

“Don’t you have a test on Monday?”

He frowned. “Thanks for that. Now I have a headache and a hangover.”

“You have to be at the rink tomorrow for me. I need your help, so go study and let me just skate.”

“Fine,” he grumbled but eventually agreed with me, bitching about school until he was in his car.

“I’ll see you at the rink tomorrow morning!” I shouted as he drove away.

T
HE
SOUND
of hockey pucks being shot echoed through the rink, and I almost turned around to leave. But the pull of the ice drew me back, and I went into the locker room to change. Just because one sheet of ice was in use didn’t mean the other one wasn’t available.

My curiosity got the best of me, and I peeked into the main rink to see who was on the ice. It surprised me when I realized CJ was the one beating the crap out of the pucks.

I tried to slip out unnoticed, but he turned and spotted me. Before I could wave him off, he had skated over to the boards.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Please continue killing those pucks. I’m heading to the other sheet of ice.”

“Can you toss me that towel?” he asked.

I threw it in his face and left him to mop up his sweat. Seeing CJ all hot and red-faced did nothing to calm me down. If anything, it charged me up. I raced over to the other sheet of ice, popped in a mix of music, and messed around until I was dripping sweat. When I skated over to the bench, CJ threw a towel in my face.

“I owed you,” he said. “That was certainly a wild mix of music.”

“I like all sorts of music,” I said.

“I like to watch you skate,” he said.

“Really?”

He leaned on the boards. “If I asked, would you skate for me?”

“Depends.” I moved in closer so we were only inches apart.

“After Nationals last year, you skated an exhibition program.”

My mouth dropped open. “I figured you’d be more of a rock and roll kind of guy.”

“I like it all.” He smirked. “Something about that program pulled me. I felt like I was on the ice with you. The bits I saw of your new long program do that too.”

“It was for my mother,” I murmured.

“Did she ever get to see you skate it?”

“No, but I like to believe she sees me every time I skate.”

CJ smiled warmly and touched my hand. I had to close my eyes and think about Eli and his football player eyes so I wouldn’t cry.

I skated over to the sound system and scrolled through until I found the music he wanted. It had been a long time since I had skated this program, but I was pretty sure I remembered most of it.

The moment I took my position at center ice, the demons filed in and sat down in the first few rows. Emotions I’d kept tucked away flooded to the surface, but I didn’t want my nerves to affect this program. I shook my head and chased away all the bad thoughts, when the haunting sounds of a violin filled the arena.

“For you, Mom,” I whispered.

A warm breeze tickled my cheek, and I knew she was with me. My blade dug into the ice, and I pushed several times to gather speed. I hit a gorgeous tano lutz and moved quickly into a triple loop. The jumps were spot-on, and all the movements followed the highs and lows of the music.

During a massive crescendo, I did a death drop followed by a powerful scratch spin. The move always brought the crowd to its feet. As the notes died away, I did a spread eagle, gliding the entire length of the rink until I was back at the center of the ice. I did a few more steps to set up for a broken leg sit spin. At the completion of the spin, I stopped and blew a kiss toward the sky.

I took a deep breath and looked over at CJ. I was surprised to see a few hockey players sitting on the bench. I steeled myself for snide comments, but none came.

“You’re fucking good,” Spock said. The rest of the guys echoed his sentiment.

“Thanks.”

They asked a few questions about my competitions before they begged me to come on the ice with them. I groaned and finally agreed. The demons gaped and questioned my sanity as I changed skates.

CJ sat beside me. “Do you know what the words mean?”