Pierced: Pierced Trilogy Boxed Set (97 page)

“I get this text from her this afternoon asking me to meet her, and she gives me an address in the Redmond area.”

He whistles. “Pricey neighborhood.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” I mumble. “I get there and she is all excited, bouncing around like a five year old, telling me how she fell instantly in love with this place as soon as she saw it.” I pause and take another deep breath. “I thought she’d be looking for another apartment, you know? But she starts showing me around this house, and it’s … big. Her mom and her brother and her uncle … you know, they all live out in Bellevue and their homes are serious mansions. This place … it’s not quite that grandiose but … it’s damn near close. Certainly looks like a mansion compared to my place.

He raises his eyebrows and nods at me, saying nothing, and I’m not sure what he’s thinking. So, I continue.

“She takes me into the over-sized, climate-controlled, five car garage and starts going on and on about how the Charger is going to feel right at home, and it hits me then that she means for us to move into this place together.” I can hear the anxiety in my voice and I know that I must look panicked right about now.

Lee lets a slow smile spread across his lips. “And you don’t know if you’re ready for that kind of commitment?”

I sigh, running both my hands through my hair in aggravation as my breathing shallows slightly. Is that what this is about? Or is it something else? “Lee, I love having Samantha at my place. Before we caught Echols, I spent every single night at her apartment. Hell, we have practically been living together since our relationship began. I love being with her; that’s not why I’m freaking out right now!”

“Then what is it, Guy?” He is looking at me as if I have three heads, and I know that my own expression mirrors his.

“Lee … she bought this house,” I tell him forcefully. “Made an offer on the spot. Prepared to pay for it right then and there with her own money. A fucking $865,000 home!” My voice is raised in frustration and I look him in the eye and see realization slowly dawning. “You tell me … how the fuck am I ever supposed to feel like the man in this relationship when she’s buying million dollar houses for me and my car to live in?!”

He takes a deep breath and looks at me sternly. “Is that what’s got you so upset, Guy? That her rich daddy left her a few million dollars when he died? Are you telling me you can’t deal with that?”

“A few million dollars?” My voice is low and full of sarcasm and I roll my eyes at him. “Just between you and me, Lee, it’s a hell of lot more than ‘a few million dollars,’ okay? Between her trust fund and her share of the family business, Samantha is worth a couple
billion
dollars all on her own.”

His eyebrows reach for the heavens and he takes another breath. Then he nods his head slowly. “Okay. That’s a lot of money. But let me ask you something, Guy … is that her fault?” I give him a puzzled look and he continues. “Let me put it this way … are you upset with her because she was born with money? Because that would be just as wrong as her looking down on you because you were born without it.”

His words make me feel like an ass, and I realize that this is not solely about the money. “I’m not upset with her for having money, Lee. All right … the truth is, her money shouldn’t be a problem, but it is. Maybe I’m just a prideful Neanderthal but, I’m being honest,” I say, looking him in the eye. “You heard the guys in the briefing room this morning. All that noise about me being in it for the money. And the jokes about quitting my job and letting the little woman take care of me. That shit fucking irritates me!”

“I get that, Guy,” Lee responds, looking me in the eye. “But they were harmless jokes!”

“They didn’t feel harmless!”

“Has Sam asked you to quit your job and let her take care of you?” he counters. “Has she requested that you stop being a cop and become a househusband instead?”

“No! Of course not, but…”

“Okay then! Has it ever occurred to you that the guys are riding you about this because they’re jealous?”

His words stop me in my tracks and I frown at him. “Jealous? What? Because Sam’s rich?”

“No, kid. Because you hit the jackpot,” he says reasonably, as his eyes and voice soften. “Even if you take the money out of the equation, Guy … Samantha is a beautiful, vibrant young woman, and the two of you are so obviously in love. Any one of those knuckleheads we work with would give their right arms for a taste of what you’ve found.”

I’m actually a little speechless at his words. Is he right? Are the guys giving me a hard time because they envy what Samantha and I have? I take a deep breath and let out a tired sigh. Even if he is right, the flack I’m getting at the station is only half of the problem.

“I don’t know, Lee,” I tell him honestly. “Maybe you’re right but … the truth is, I just don’t know how to deal with it. I mean, Sam and I have talked about this before, and I realize that the money is an issue that I’m going to have to learn to deal with if I want to be with her. I know that. And I’m willing to try. But it’s not easy sometimes. Especially when she does shit like she just did today!”

“I guess I can understand that,” he says quietly. “But at least you’re talking about it with her. That’s important. Communication, kid … that’s the most important thing in any relationship. Whether you have money or not.”

“Yeah, well if that’s true,” I say frustratedly, “then Samantha and I have a lot to learn. She’s always wanting me to talk more, but what about her? I mean, if she wanted us to move in together, she could have asked me! We could have looked for a house together … we could have
bought
a house together. Sure, it probably would have been something a little smaller and a lot more modest than the place she picked out. But we would have done it
together;
I thought that’s what relationships were supposed to be about! Was I wrong?” I ask, looking at him anxiously, wide-eyed and desperate as I try to understand. “Am I doing this wrong, Lee?”

“No, Guy.” His voice is steady and sure as he looks me in the eye. “You are not wrong. If you and Samantha love each other and you want to stay together, then you
should
be making these kinds of decisions together. It sounds to me like you might want to go home and have a serious talk about communication.”

I sigh and look down at my beer, nodding slightly. I know that he’s right, Sam and I need to talk. I need to tell her how I’m feeling. But I don’t want this to turn into an argument like last time. Especially not with the way I’m feeling right now.

“Look, Guy,” Lee says quietly, looking at me as if he’s reading my mind. “Something you need to keep in mind is that this girl is young. She likely doesn’t have much more experience with relationships than you do. You are both gonna make a few missteps here and there. Cut her a little slack,” he says, his eyes boring into mine. “When you get home, sit her down, take her into your arms, and then,
talk
about this. Don’t argue, okay? Talk.”

I swallow nervously at his words and nod slightly. I know that Lee understands my unspoken fears. He, more than anyone else, knows that I worry about the possibility that I might lash out in anger at Samantha at some point. Like the old man would.

“It’s difficult to yell at the woman you love when you’re holding her in your arms,” Lee says.

At his words, I study his eyes for a minute and nod again. I’ll try to remember that. Glancing at my watch, I see that I’m already starting off badly. I told Sam I’d only be about thirty minutes but, it’s been almost an hour.
Shit.
I look back up at Lee. “I gotta go,” I tell him. “I’m late.”

“Okay,” he says, eyeing me closely.

“Thanks for the advice, Lee,” I say quietly as we stand. “And for listening. I appreciate it.”

“You can always come to me, Guy,” he says. “Anytime. You know that.” I nod again, and to my surprise, he reaches out and pulls me into a big bear hug. “I’m proud of you, son,” he says as we embrace, and I’m slightly startled by his words. “You’re going to be fine.”

He pats my back soundly and releases me. And when I look at him, his eyes are glassy again and I can’t help wondering what he’s thinking. He seems sort of emotional lately and I wonder briefly if everything’s all right with him.

“You remember what I said, son … hold her as you talk. It will work if you let it.”

I nod my head and we turn to leave then. We shake hands and go off to our respective cars and I take a few deep breaths as I get in and start her up and get underway. On the short drive home I repeat Lee’s words to me over and over in my head, and as I pull into the garage next to Sam’s car I feel my stomach doing flip flops. I get out of the car and cover her up, and then head inside the house.

When I open the door, Samantha is standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. She looks up as I enter and I can see the apprehension and worry in her eyes. I’m sure my own eyes probably reflect those same emotions back at her. I step inside and close the door behind me.

“Sorry I’m late,” I start quietly as I walk further into the room. I swallow nervously. “Hope I didn’t ruin your dinner.”

She shakes her head at me. “It’ll keep.”

She says nothing more as her emerald eyes bore into me and I feel a ripple of anxiety. “It smells good.”

“Baked ziti,” she says quietly, and I nod. I swallow again and take a deep breath.

“We need to talk first, Sam.”

“I know.”

Remembering Lee’s words, I step toward her and take her by the hand, then lead her out of the kitchen and over to the couch. I sit down on the end of the couch and pull her gently down next to me. And as I do, I can’t help but picture the two of us on this same couch just over a week ago, making love to the playlist over and over. The image is reassuring.

Turning toward her, I put my hand on her waist. “Come here, Sam.” She moves closer and I wrap my arms around her as she sits practically in my lap, facing me, and I take another deep breath. “I’m not exactly sure where to begin,” I say, being honest.

“Begin with what happened,” she says softly, her voice slightly accusatory. “You got so angry at the house and I don’t know why.”

My jaw clinches tightly, her words and her tone instantly spiking my anger. And I want to let go of her and stand up in frustration, but I hear Lee’s voice in my head.

“It’s difficult to yell at the woman you love when you’re holding her in your arms. It will work if you let it.”

Taking in another deep breath, I try this again. “Samantha … I find it hard to believe that you really have no idea why I’m angry.” I keep my voice as even as I can, and look deep into her eyes as I speak. And my steady gaze must be intense because she lowers her eyes and looks a little contrite.

“Is this about the money again?” she asks softly, looking back up at me.

I stare at her incredulously. “No. Yes! Sam … there are so many things wrong with what happened today that you couldn’t possibly be that clueless, baby.”

“Josh, I…”

“No.” My voice is stern but quiet. “Let me go first.”

She nods her head, looking at me sadly. “Okay.”

I sigh heavily and tighten my arms around her, feeling very awkward in this position. I want to yell and scream to make my point, and I realize now that this is exactly what Lee was going for. This forced closeness and intimacy, leaving me no choice but to surrender my natural instincts and try to talk my way into an understanding. Into a connection with Sam. I shake my head slightly at the realization.

“Sam … okay, let’s just start with the obvious. I thought you were looking for another apartment for yourself. Never once did you indicate that you were looking at houses for the two of us to live in together. You never once brought up the topic of us moving in together! But then you text me an address and say meet me here, and you don’t expect me to be angry about it?”

She looks as if I’ve slapped her. “I just thought…,” She stops as her bottom lip begins to tremble. Shit. “You don’t want to live with me?” she asks softly.

“Baby, that’s not the point,” I say in exasperation, trying to ignore the tear that goes trailing down her cheek. “If you wanted us to move in together, we should have talked about it. The point is, if we’re going to be in a relationship, Sam … if we’re honestly going to try to do this, then you can’t go around just making these huge decisions that involve me without talking to me first. Don’t you understand that?”

She says nothing but, she blushes a soft rose and chews on her bottom lip. I’m distracted momentarily, but I can’t let myself get sidetracked. We have to get everything on the table.

“And yes … the money does play a big part of my anger today, Sam. I thought we already talked about this and that we had a plan. We were going to talk about money issues as they came up, remember?” I ask her, my voice sounding too harsh to my ears.
Rein it in, Pierce.
“We were going to try to meet in the middle. What the hell happened to that, baby? You go out and buy a near million dollar home and expect me to live in it without talking to me about first?”

“Okay, you’re right. I get it,” she says, her voice a sorrowful sob. “I screwed up. I guess I just never dreamed that you wouldn’t want to live with me. I want to be with you all the time; I just assumed you felt the same way.”

“Baby, I do feel the same way all right,” I sigh in aggravation. “I have loved you being here, and I loved being with you at your old place. I do want to live with you, Sam. I’m just trying to get you to understand that we have to make these kinds of decisions as a team, baby. As a couple. ’Cause we if can’t do that, this is not going to work!”

My voice still sounds too gruff to me, and she looks at me sadly and nods. Only I’m not sure she’s really getting it or that my words are really sinking in. Keeping my voice as even as I can, I try a different tack. “Baby, how would you feel if I had just gone out and bought a house? Let’s say, in Kent or Federal Way. Something a little bigger than this place … a three bedroom house in a nice working class neighborhood. Just all on my own, bought it for us to move into without telling you first. What would you think of that?”