Pierced: Pierced Trilogy Boxed Set (98 page)

She says nothing but, I finally see dawning understanding start to bloom in her eyes. “If we had talked about it first, Samantha … we could have looked for a house together. But instead, you just went out and bought a house that suits you. How is that meeting in the middle, baby? And how do you expect me to ever feel comfortable there? I can’t live in a place where I’m worried about putting my feet up on the furniture, or scared to invite my friends over for fear they’ll spill something on the floor or they’ll be too rowdy for the neighbors. I need to be able to be me in my own home, Sam.”

“I know that, Josh! And I thought about all of that this morning with every house the realtor showed me. I think we looked at four houses today and the others were nice but, the minute I saw this one I knew. It has everything, but you left before I could show it to you. Please, can I tell you about it?” Her voice is soft and desperate and her moist eyes are boring into me, imploring me to hear her out. So I take a deep breath and say nothing, letting her know that it’s her turn, and she continues.

“The house has everything we could want or need, Josh. It sits on eight acres and there are five bedrooms and the master suite is so beautiful, it has a fireplace and
two
walk in closets! There’s a deck that runs the length of the entire back of the house and the grounds are amazing; there’s a rose garden! There’s even a small cottage near the back of the property that the previous owner used as a greenhouse. With a few tweaks it would make a perfect studio for me to paint in!”

She sounds so hopeful and I watch her eyes sparkle and dance as she describes it to me. And as she talks I rub my fingers rhythmically across the small of her back as I hold her.

“And besides the special spot for the Charger in the garage, it has a completely finished basement with a game room. There’s an existing pool table in there and an air hockey table, and there’s certainly enough space down there to add a real poker table for you and the guys. And it has a wet bar down there and a giant screen TV with a Dolby sound system so, it’d be the perfect ‘man cave’ for you! You could have poker night at our place all the time if you wanted to! And there would be plenty of space for the band to come and rehearse.”

Her hands rest on my chest and play with the buttons of my shirt as we talk, and she looks up into my eyes as she rattles on and on about the house. It has a large family room as well as a formal living room, and a dining room that sits off the spacious kitchen. There’s also a library and home office, and space for an exercise room. And Samantha gasps as she remembers something else.

“Oh! And I almost forgot … there’s even room for you to go hunting!”

I raise an eyebrow at her. “On eight acres, baby? I don’t think so.”

She giggles slightly at me, and it’s nice to see her smile. “No. I met one of the neighbors. He calls himself Old Joe. The realtor walked me down to the back of the property to look at the greenhouse. Well there are woods that butt up against the property and this sweet old man came stepping out of the woods with his dog and we struck up a conversation. Turns out at one time, that whole area belonged to him but, he sold the bulk of it and let them develop it. Now he just owns around a hundred or so acres. He farms a small part of it but leaves the woods untouched and he hunts there. I told him all about you, and when he heard that you’re a cop he got all teary eyed for some reason. He said you could hunt in his woods anytime.”

She looks proud of herself and she’s watching me closely, trying to gauge my reaction to all of this information. And I take a deep breath, slowly shaking my head at her.

“I’m still waiting to hear back from the realtor,” she says quietly, watching my eyes. “But I suppose it’s not too late to rescind the offer if you’re really not interested.”

“Sam,” I say softly, returning her steady gaze. “Baby, I can’t tell you not to buy the house. It’s your money; if you want that house, then buy it!”

“I don’t want the house for me,” she wails softly. “I want it for us. If you’re not interested, then there’s really no point. I’ll just … do what you said and look for an apartment … for myself,” she whispers sadly.

I feel like a jerk for what I’m about to say. But I have to say it. “Sam, do you understand how uncomfortable this situation makes me?” Then I shake my head, feeling the muscles of my arms clench and tighten anxiously as I answer my own question. “I know that you don’t. You have no idea! And I can’t blame you because I realize that you have never known any other way. I do get that!”

Her shoulders slump as she sighs heavily. “We’re back to the money again, aren’t we?”

“Yes! We are back to the money again,” I say in exasperation as my voice raises without warning. I don’t mean to yell, but my control suddenly slips and I can’t stop it. “I know you don’t understand this, but I’m feeling all kinds of emasculated here! You want to buy a near million dollar home for me. What do I do in return, Sam? How do I pay you back for that?”

“Pay me back? You don’t pay me back; I’m not buying the house for you, Josh. I’m buying it for
us
!”

“You know what I’m getting at, Samantha,” I bellow, as my arms tighten around her in aggravation. “What can I possibly ever buy you or do for you that you can’t already do or buy for yourself? You don’t need me to provide for you; you apparently don’t need me to help make the big important decisions. You don’t
need
me at all!”

She pulls away from me and stands, looking down at me with big, angry eyes. “I don’t need you?” Her words are an astonished whisper. “You have that so wrong, Josh. You are obviously the one that doesn’t need me! I have done everything.” Her words are flowing like her tears as her voice raises in anger and frustration. “I’ve done everything that I know how to do to make you believe that I love you and I want to be with you. But you keep finding barriers to put up between us, first it was your dad and now it’s my money. Well guess what? I don’t give a damn about what an abusive pig Danny Pierce was or how the son of a bitch died! And I don’t give a rat’s ass about the fucking money!”

She is screaming at me and all I can do is sit here in stunned silence and listen.

“All I want is to be with you, and I don’t care if you buy the house or I do. Your money or mine, what the hell difference does is make? Why does it have to be an issue? The money is there and it’s not going away. We’re sort of a packaged deal, Josh; you can’t have me without it! And if I want to use it to buy a house for the two of us to live in, why shouldn’t I be able to do that?”

“Sam…”

“And you said I don’t need you! Is that really what you think? Because there is no way in hell I would have ever made it through these last few weeks if you hadn’t come into my life when you did, and I’m not just talking about being attacked. You saved me in more ways than one Joshua, and I need you desperately!”

She is a screaming, sobbing, beautiful mess and I am on my feet in an instant, folding my arms around her and holding her tightly to me. She cries into my chest as I hold her, feeling like a self-absorbed ass. I’ve been making this whole money issue all about me and how uncomfortable it makes me feel. But I have never stopped to think about how that makes her feel at all.

To her, the money is just another fact of her life, like her chestnut brown hair or her love of art. It just is. And me being uncomfortable with that aspect of her life is like me taking issue with her hair color or her interests. It’s a part of her. Another facet of who she is, and she wants to share that side of herself with me without the fear of it causing a problem between us.

“I’m sorry, baby,” I whisper as I hold her, kissing the top of her head. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Sam. I just … I wanted you to think about my perspective and try to see where I’m coming from. Sometimes I don’t think you do that.”

“You’re wrong, Josh,” she says softly, looking up at me with tears swimming in her beautiful eyes. “I think about your point of view all the time, I really do. I admit, that I screwed up today … I got so excited over the house and I jumped the gun. But I do try to think about your perspective and put myself in your place.”

I tighten my arms around her and lightly kiss her forehead. “Sam…”

“And you’re wrong about something else,” she continues tearfully. “Maybe I don’t need you to provide for me financially and to put a roof over my head or to keep food on my table or to buy me things. But you provide me with something much more important than money or financial security, Josh. You make me feel loved and cherished and protected and brave and sexy and confident. You make me strong. You make me happy. And no one can buy those things. But they are all things that I am in desperate need of, and you give them to me!”

“Oh, Sam,” I whisper, wiping away her tears. I am taken aback by her words. I make her feel brave and confident? I make her happy? “Baby, you make me happy too.”

“Then will you please move in with me?” she asks softly, her green eyes searching mine.

I study her eyes for a long moment, getting lost as I look deeply into their vast green pools. This woman has turned my world completely upside down. But I know that I don’t want to be without her for a single second. I swallow anxiously and take a deep breath. “Yes, baby. I will move in with you on one condition.”

“What’s the condition?” Her voice is small and she looks worried.

“You have to promise me. From now on, Sam … you have got to talk to me. Every major decision. Anything that is going affect both of our lives, we make those decisions together!”

She smiles broadly through her tears and nods at me. “I promise!”

“Okay,” I say softly after a slight pause.

She squeals and throws her arms around my neck, prompting me to tighten my arms around her waist, and I straighten up, making her feet dangle above the floor. “You are going to be the death of me, baby,” I sigh, holding her tightly, and she giggles. I kiss her temple and then set her feet back on the floor. Then I kiss her tenderly for a moment. “Feed me,” I say quietly, smiling at her. “I’m starving.”

Chapter Ten

Samantha

I walk into the house and close and lock the door behind me before proceeding into the bedroom. Kicking off my black Jimmy Choo pumps as I unbutton my blouse, I take a deep breath and sigh. I am slightly exhausted, and I have no idea why. And then I roll my eyes at myself at that thought.
Really, Samantha? No idea why?
I’ve only been running around like a chicken with its head cut off all day long. First to work to give four back-to-back tours, and then off to meet Lola at the gallery to make some final decisions on the presentation of a few of the pieces. I can’t believe my show will be opening on Friday, just three days away! The thought terrifies me.

I finish getting out of my work clothes and pull on a pair of comfy purple sweatpants and a tank top. I know that I should be thinking about dinner but, I just can’t right now. I really need a nap. As I lay down across the bed, wishing like crazy that Josh were here to snuggle up with, I start to worry about all the things that could go wrong on Friday. I’m really starting to freak out the closer it gets. What if no one appreciates my work? What if the show is a big fat flop and Lola’s gallery goes bankrupt as a result? My mother’s admonishments of all my time spent in pursuit of my artistic passions will finally be validated.
Well, at least someone would get a happy ending.
I roll my eyes at myself once more.

Sleep soon overtakes me and I’m not sure how long I doze but, I am awakened by my buzzing phone. I stretch as I reach to the bedside table to answer it.

“Hello.”

“Hey, baby. It’s me.”

“Josh, where are you?”

“I’m at work, of course,” he chuckles. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I was just napping, sorry,” I mumble.

“Sleeping in the middle of the day. You feeling all right?” he asks, his voice full of concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired and anxious, you know … working and then dealing with Lola. Worrying about the show.”

“Well, I understand being anxious, baby. But don’t worry yourself sick. Your paintings and sketches are amazing, Sam. The show’s going to be a big success.”

“You are so good for my ego,” I smile.

“I’m just calling it like I see it, baby,” he says, and I can hear his smile over the phone. “Listen, I’m calling to tell you not to cook dinner tonight. I hope you haven’t already started.”

“No, I haven’t but, why not?”

“Well, Simon just reminded me that we called a band rehearsal tonight. So I thought, if you wanted to, you could go with me.”

“To band rehearsal?” I can hear the surprise in my voice. This sounds interesting!

“If you want to. Then I thought maybe we could ride out to the house afterwards and you can show me around. Then we’ll just grab a burger or something on the way home.”

“Really?” He has no idea how happy this suggestion makes me. I want Josh to love this house as much as I do. “I would love to show it to you! I’ll call the realtor right away and make sure she can let us in.”

“All right. I’ll see you in a couple hours, Sunshine.”

We hang up then and I lie back against the pillows once more and think about Josh. He was so sweet to me last night when we hashed it out about the house. I know that he was really angry when he came home, and I could tell as we talked that he was so frustrated with me. But he never raised his voice at me. Well … not until the end anyway, but he never let his anger get the best of him, and I could see how hard he was trying. He’s such an amazing man. So sweet. And always so mindful of his history and how his own mother was treated by his dad. I know that he tries really hard with me not to repeat that pattern of dysfunctional, abusive behavior, and it makes me want to try just as hard for him.

He said last night that sometimes he didn’t think I took his perspective into consideration. I protested when he said it but, maybe he’s right. Maybe I don’t always think about how he feels in a given situation. I’m sure if things were reversed and he was the one with the exorbitant trust fund and significant shares of a multi-billion dollar corporation, I would feel quite a bit overwhelmed with his wealth. Especially if my own upbringing had been less than affluent. I have to remember to keep that in mind going forward. I want a future with Josh. I want to be with him always and I want him to want to be with me too. Why would he want to do that if I didn’t make the effort to see things from his point of view?