Pink & Green is the New Black (15 page)

“Actually it's totally legal,” Claudia replies. “I think. I'd have to look it up. Whatever.”

Grandma shakes her head like she's in pain. “Tell us the whole story, Claudia. Please don't leave out any important information.”

Under her breath I hear Grandma add, “You girls are so much like your mother. It kills me.”

We both ignore her, even though we know she wanted us to hear that.

“Well, okay, I should clarify,” Claudia continues. “He didn't ask me to marry him
right now
. It wasn't like that. He just has this whole plan for us to travel and live abroad for a few years after college, and he thinks it's better if we're married.”

“No. The answer is no. You cannot get married!” Grandma stands up again, and I almost start laughing. It feels like she's been up and down a million times. This time she leaves the room. We hear her stomp up the stairs, and even though she's not much of a door slammer, we hear her bedroom door close forcefully.

“So, that wasn't a success,” Claudia says, laughing a little.

“Of course it wasn't,” I say. For a smart girl, Claudia can be really, really dumb. “You didn't think she'd be happy about it, did you?”

“Um, I guess not. But I thought Mom would be here to sort of help.”

“Well, blame the cats.”

“She has birds now too. But, of course. We can blame most things on cats.”

We both start cracking up, and it feels good to laugh. There are a million problems lingering, but sometimes you have to laugh anyway. Laugh in spite of all the problems.

Mom gets home a little while later. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun and she looks disheveled.

“What happened?” I ask, turning off the TV.

“One of the cats had some stomach troubles,” she says. “Don't even ask.”

“I won't. I don't want to know.”

“Did Claudia ever get home?”

I nod. “Yeah. You might want to go talk to Grandma.”

Mom clenches her teeth. “That bad, huh?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Where is she?” Mom puts her hands on her hips like she's about to take control. The thing is, she's not good at being in charge. It's actually kind of funny to watch.

“In her room, I guess.”

I keep the TV off, because I want to hear what happens. The thing that confuses me is that I'm not sure if Claudia came home to ask permission, or to get our opinion, or what. I'm not even sure why she came home. I guess getting engaged
worried her in some way. She must know it's absolutely insane.

I hear voices but I can't make out what's being said. I leave the den and tiptoe up the stairs. I'll hang out in my room with the door open, and then I'll be able to hear everything.

“Claudia, you can't make a decision for two years from now!” Grandma yells. “That is absurd. And he's nuts to expect that of you.”

“How many times have I said he didn't want an answer right away?” Claudia says.

“So then why exactly did you fly home?” Mom asks. “I'm thrilled to see you. Don't get me wrong. But why the urgency? Why does this need to be decided or discussed right now?”

There's silence for a few moments. And then Claudia says, “I guess it startled me. I wanted a break from everyone at school. I wanted to talk with you guys. But you get so crazy. Everything becomes a fight.”

Then she starts crying.

“It's not a fight, Claud,” Mom says in her soft, trying-to-be-comforting voice. “We just want what's best. And it doesn't make sense to make these decisions when you're so young.”

“Because look at what happened to you,” Claudia says, and something about her voice makes it clear she already regrets saying it.

“No,” Mom replies. “I have no regrets.”

“Jane, please,” Grandma sneers. “Frankly, Claudia, I think you need a break from Bean. You've been together since the first day of college, and it seems like he's getting ahead of himself. Take time for yourself. Meet other boys.”

No one responds to that.

A few seconds later Claudia says, “Well, Mia's home for her grandparents' anniversary party this weekend, so we're going to grab some coffee. Can I borrow the car?”

“Be home for dinner,” Mom says. “And tell Mia we say hi.”

Claudia comes into my room before she goes. “They're crazy,” she whispers.

I don't know if I agree. I mean, yeah, sometimes they're a little hard to take. But in this case I think Bean is the crazy one.

When I don't respond to that, she says, “So, what's new with you, Luce? How's Yamir?”

I'm faced with a choice: tell her the truth, because she's my sister. Or lie to her, like I've been lying to everyone else. It becomes surprisingly easy to lie when you've been doing it so consistently for so long.

“He's okay,” I say. Technically that's not really a lie, but it's not saying much of the truth.

She checks herself out in the mirror above my dresser and smears on some of my lip gloss. “Things are good with you two?”

“Well, I can't really say that,” I reply. It turns out I can't lie to my sister. I mean, I did sort of kiss someone else last night, and Yamir and I broke up.

“What do you mean?” Claudia turns around, sounding shocked. “Clearly you need to fill me in,” she says. “But I'm almost late to meet Mia. Talk later?”

I nod.

Claudia goes out, and the house is quiet again. I think about the conversation Claudia had with Mom and Grandma, and it makes me wonder if she's telling the truth. It feels like something's missing from the story. Maybe she's scared to go into more detail because Mom and Grandma get so intense.

Maybe we're all only telling half the story all the time.

I guess it makes us feel safer that way. We can't reveal everything or we'll be vulnerable. If we tell our stories in bits and pieces, there's time to see how people will respond, time for us to adjust what we say as we go.

There has to be more to this. Bean's not crazy. And Claudia hates to leave school, even for a few days.

I told everyone that things were great with Yamir for so long when they really weren't so great. I did it because it was easier at the time. But it was just putting off the hard part.

I guess the hard part comes eventually, no matter what you do.

Lucy's tip for surviving eighth grade:

Be honest. Always be honest.

Claudia isn't flying back the
next day. She e-mails her professors and keeps up with her work from her missed classes. We still don't really know why she came home, or what's going on with Bean. Every time we ask her what she's thinking, she gives some vague answer that doesn't make much sense.

It's nice to have her around, though.

She drives me to school on Monday morning. “You seem so tense,” she says. “I get that things between you and Yamir aren't so great right now. And this Travis kid likes you. So that's not really a bad thing. But what else?”

“Well, that's kind of a lot to have going on all at once, don't you think?” I ask.

“It
is
a lot. But the thing is, people break up, Luce. It's a fact of life.” I wonder if she's saying that for me or for herself.
Maybe she's considering breaking up with Bean, because he's making her decide something that's two years away. “You're only in eighth grade. Lots of things are going to change as you get older.”

“I know that,” I mumble. “But that's not the only thing going on.”

“Okay.” She parks in front of the school and turns to me. “Well, if that's the case, then you need to tell me the other things. You have to tell people what's happening. People can't help you if you don't fill them in.”

Again, I wonder if she's saying that for me or for herself.

I say, “I want to, but it's harder than it seems. I can't always explain how I'm feeling. It's like I'm confused by my own feelings. And if I'm confused, then how can I expect other people to understand?”

She nods. “I know what you mean. I'm always here to listen, though. And you can talk through the confusion. I'll try my best to understand.”

“Thank you,” I say, as I get out of the car. “For the ride and the advice.”

I walk into school, and Erica is already waiting for me at my locker. “We need to talk,” she says. “Upstairs bathroom in five minutes.”

Sunny's sitting on the floor cramming for a social studies test, and she looks up at me. “She's scary.”

I nod. I wonder if that's all Sunny is going to say to me. She never called me back.

“You better go,” Sunny tells me after I've hung up my coat and put my books in my locker.

“You want to come?” I ask her.

“No, thanks.” She doesn't look up from her social studies book.

I trudge up the stairs to meet Erica and wish that I had someone with me. She's pretty much past her pranks, but what if she gets inspired again and pushes my head into the toilet? I don't think she's ever done that, and I've never heard of that happening outside the movies, but if anyone was going to do it, it would be her.

I walk in and Erica and Zoe are sitting on the counter next to the sinks.

“What's up?” I ask. “Hi, Zoe.”

“Hey,” she says.

“First of all, cute skirt,” Erica says. I look down, because I've already forgotten what I put on this morning. I'm wearing a burgundy corduroy skirt and thick gray tights.

“Thanks.”

“Second of all,” Erica continues, “remember what I said on the phone. I mean it, Lucy. I need this Elias thing to happen. I need you and Yamir to be on good terms.”

Zoe jumps in. “But if she's with Yamir, then how can she be with Travis and then help me with Gavin?”

“Zoe, stop,” Erica whines. “She already tried to help you. She gave you that whole rap idea. So enough. We'll get to you later.”

Zoe stops talking and Erica whispers in my ear, “Don't stress about the Gavin stuff. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like her, so there's no point spending time on it. We'll talk later.”

I look at Zoe, and she's staring at her dangling feet. I guess their honeymoon period as friends is over. And I'm pretty sure Zoe heard everything Erica just said. She has a loud whisper.

“Third of all, and most important, the Masquerade is in less than a month. Crunch time. We need to get the makeup schedule figured out; we need to finalize the theme. We need to make sure everyone we care about has a date.”

I'm not sure I know who would be included in the “everyone we care about” list, so I ignore that part.

“Okay, let's have a planning meeting,” I tell them. “We'll put up some posters telling everyone about the time and place, and whoever wants to come can come.”

“No. That's too many people,” Erica explains. “Just a small
group: you, me, Zoe, Sunny, and maybe Annabelle, since she's class president.”

“Sure. That sounds good.”

“Oh, and Evan and the twins,” Erica adds. “We need boys too.”

“Got it.” I ignore the sinking feeling I get when I think about Travis. If I pretend our drama doesn't exist, maybe it will just go away entirely.

“We're the executive committee,” Zoe says, clearly repeating something Erica must have told her.

“After school today?” I ask.

“Yeah, school library at 3:45,” Erica tells us, hopping down from the sink counter. “You tell Sunny and Annabelle. I'll tell the boys.”

We leave the bathroom just before the first bell rings, and I'm suddenly overcome with this feeling of gratitude for Erica. I need a project. I need something to focus on besides the end of my relationship with Yamir.

Maybe I can't make sure Elias likes Erica, or Gavin likes Zoe, or the AGE girls are happy and included, but I can make this Masquerade the best one Old Mill Middle School has ever had.

I hold the key to the best makeup artists and makeup in all of Connecticut.

And everyone knows that makeup is the most important part of a costume. The face is the first thing you see when you're talking to someone. You look into the person's eyes. You notice their smile. Makeup is all about highlighting the face. Sure, you can have cool pants or a cool shirt or even cool shoes. But the makeup makes the costume. The makeup is what everyone will notice and what everyone will remember.

At lunch I tell Annabelle and Sunny about the meeting while Eve and Georgina are in line for the salad bar.

“I have the biggest science test tomorrow,” Annabelle says. “I'm super stressed.”

“It'll be a quick meeting,” I assure her. “You're the class president. You have to be there.”

“I know,” she groans.

I look at Sunny. She's picking the cucumbers out of her Greek salad. “Will you be there?”

“Yup,” is all she says.

Annabelle gets up to find some ketchup, and I turn to Sunny. “Sun, what's with you? You're mad and it's killing me. We need to talk.”