Pink Shades of Words: Walk 2016 (22 page)

“Fighting again?” Her brow furrowed with worry.

“Yeah, we argued, which is why he’s blowing me up now, but this,” I said as I gestured to my injury, “was because I tried to storm out pissed and my hand ended up getting stuck in his levered door handle.”

Her eyes bulged.  “You did this on a door handle?”

“True story.  I’m a delicate flower, you know.”  Winking, I picked up the pace.  “Come on.  We don’t want to be late.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to miss Carter’s classic meeting opening.”  Then she made a gagging sound and we laughed.

“Greetings, decoys!” I mimicked, in my best Charlie voice.  “Angels has a much nicer ring to it,” I mourned.  “Of course he thinks he’s being more politically correct, since we have guys too.”

“Still, do you not feel a bit like a wooden duck when he says that?  I actually hear quacking in my head every day at that greeting,” Denzi commented as she pushed her long dark hairs back from her face.

“Truth?  I totally pretend I’m paying attention, but I’m really writing the reports I was supposed to do before I came in.”  Chuckling, I reached for the handle to enter the building.

Stepping in front of me, Denzi grabbed for it instead.  “I’m thinking I should get this for you,” she teased.  “You can’t afford to mess up anything else.  It’s money, baby!”

Bowing slightly, I mumbled, “Of course you’re right.”  Then I sashayed through the door.  “You can get all my doors for me.  Handle my light work, woman.”

Obviously her mind was still on our previous conversation.  “I can’t believe Carter has never caught you,” she murmured, a hint of wonder in her voice.  “I mean, he loves to call us out on pretty much everything.”

“Ah yes, but Carter loves to hear the sound of his own voice more.  It’s all in the timing.  Watch and learn, dollface.”  The demonstration began as I gave her my most focused look while we waited for the elevator.  “The key is to look serious, intent.  When
you’re
doing something you’re not supposed to, you just look guilty.”

“So that’s lesson one?” Denzi rolled her eyes, then she tried to imitate my face.  The results were completely laughable.  

“Practice.  Lots and lots of practice.”  The rest of the lessons would have to wait because the doors opened and we joined a group of executives returning to their offices from lunches and meetings.  It was the same thing every day.  Some would try and catch our eye.  Okay, probably Denzi’s gorgeous green eyes, since she was 5’10”, thin, and beautiful in a way I had always envied, but only because I was merely 5’0” tall and average at best.

Denzi kept staring down at me.  Finally she spoke after everyone else had cleared out on a previous floor.  “I’m not sure I like the way you’re looking at me.”

Still in my lousy mood, I sighed in frustration before words began to spill out uncontrollably.  “I swear I don’t know why we’re friends sometimes.  We have nothing in common.  We can’t wear each other’s clothes or shoes.  Our coloring is too different to share makeup!”

Turning on me, Denzi hit the emergency stop button and shocked me silent. Immediately, the alarm sounded.   “I’ll tell you why, Delilah Morgan.  We’ve been friends since grade school, back when our last names meant we shared a pair of desks.  Our bond is deeper than communal stupid superficial stuff.  We share an apartment, a love of fine wine...that we one day hope to afford, and the same opinion on what makes a good man, which is why I’m still looking and you should be.” Her head bobbed while she rambled on. “I can’t help that I grew up tall and have this mad metabolism any more than you can help having outgrown the training bras I still wear and looking like you’re smuggling melons under any shirt, sweater, or dress that you own.  So just stop it!”  Her finger hovered over the button that would cease the terrible noise she had been screeching over.  “Are we good now?”

Feeling more than a little sheepish, I nodded.  “I’m sorry.  It was that stupid fight with Roan and this dumb job and...everything.”

“Apology accepted.  Me?  Sorry not sorry.  It had to be said.”  Immediately, Denzi punched the button and the sound ended while we rode up a few more floors to our destination.  The doors opened and we walked out as though nothing had happened.  If only I could just maintain the calm I needed to survive the meeting, I might be able to salvage my day.

We walked into the packed conference room and grabbed the last two seats around the enormous table.  It was as though our presence signaled the commencement.  Moments later, as I opened my laptop to finish my report, Carter entered with his usual flair for the dramatic.

After smoothing his golden hair and flashing his bright white teeth, he opened the meeting.  “Greetings, decoys.”

Immediately, Denzi and I exchanged looks as we gave the required response with the rest of the employees.  “Greetings, Carter.”

“Let’s begin.”  Then he loaded the presentation from his laptop and I promptly zoned out and focused on my task.  He was about to share each decoy’s assignment for the night.  It looked like every one of us had a mission this Friday evening.  No wonder I didn’t have time to find a better boyfriend.  

Over the next thirty minutes he passed out file after file, giving the relevant information and reminding each decoy their operation could be found for later use in their email.  It was simple enough really.  There was no need for the meetings other than Carter was a bit of an attention whore.  

I watched as the others were given some pretty exciting missions.  When Denzi was sent to an art walk in NoDa, I sighed.  She was constantly hired for these sweet locations and hot guys.  Time and again.  I could say this as we’ve been working for Carter roughly five years, since before we were old enough to drink and needed a job to support our college wannabe party lifestyle.  It was cool then, now at twenty-four, it was starting to wear on me.  I was probably going to die of cancer from secondhand smoke given all the crappy ass bars I kept getting sent to.

“Something you’d like to add?” Carter asked with more than a hint of annoyance when he heard my sigh.  He did hate being interrupted.  I opened my mouth to respond, but he made it clear his question was merely rhetorical.  “We’ll talk
after
,” he announced as he passed me my file featuring a creepy looking mail carrier known to frequent the bar near the post office on Carmel Road.  

Finally Carter closed the meeting the same way he always did.  “I haven’t lost a decoy yet, and I don’t intend to.” He gave us a stern look. “Follow the rules.  Keep your locator app on at all times.  Never agree to meet at a secondary location.  And call me when you’re through, take care of you!”  Then Carter smiled as though he were so clever and hadn’t stolen his best line from a Julia Roberts movie.

By the time ‘after’ came and he turned his attention to me, I was ready to just slink out of the conference room.  Once again, I had landed a loser.  “Have fun,” I called to Denzi as I packed up and she walked out.  Turning to leave, Carter stepped in my path.   

“Is there a problem, Delilah?” he questioned with a frown.

Pulling my shoulders back to access my full height, I tried to appear confident as I shared my dismay over my job.  “It would just be nice if I had a sweet assignment now and then like Denzi, for example.  That’s all.”

Throwing an arm around my shoulder, Carter hugged me against his side and steered me so we could survey the rest of the decoys as they moved about the office outside of the glassed in conference room.  “Look at them.  Look at Denzi and Marcy and Elisa
especially
.”  He pointed with his free hand to indicate the three women he had named.

“What about them?” I struggled to hold back a sigh.

“These women, they’re stallions,” he cooed by way of explanation.

Gazing at them, I recognized they were all tall, thin, and beautiful, but still
I worked here
.  I managed to have operations almost every single night.  His explanation still didn’t add up.  “What does that mean?”  My frustration was beginning to show in the edginess of my voice.

“Well,
they
are built for speed.”  He turned to look at me, placing a hand on each shoulder.  “
You
?  You’re built for comfort.  Luckily, this stable is a place with room for all types because men,
men
love all types.”  He smiled down at me.  “Now go get the creep.”   Somehow, I could almost picture him patting my rump, like he would a plow horse to keep it plodding along.  My shoulders drooping slightly, I moped out to my cubicle to study the file and prep for my evening.  Reading as I walked, I discovered my target was married.  His wife had contacted the agency because he was staying out late on Friday nights, every week.  Sometimes when he returned, he smelled of perfume.  At least once, she’d found lipstick on his collar.  It was pretty much a report of all the classic red flags.

When I arrived at my desk, my extension was ringing.  Immediately I recognized the caller.  Apparently, since Roan couldn’t reach me on my cell, he’d decided to harass me on my work line. Clearly this was never going to stop unless I answered. After the conversation with Carter, I think I was just upset enough to face this new disappointment.  “What?” I asked coldly.

“Hey babe!” Roan sounded relieved I had finally picked up.  “You didn’t answer any of my calls before.”

Sighing loudly, just in case he hadn’t already picked up on my annoyance, I responded.  “I was in a meeting.  I’m working.  We’ve been together over a year.  You should know my schedule by now!”   

“Sorry.  You know how much I hate your job.  I didn’t pay attention,” he mumbled into the phone.

“Yeah,” I hissed.  “You never pay attention.  At least doing this job, I get to feel attractive because you sure as hell don’t do that for me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Analyzing his tone of voice, I realized he didn’t sound angry, just genuinely confused.  It made me all the more upset.  

“Why did you call me?” I asked, completely frustrated.  “What do you want, Roan?  It certainly isn’t me.”  I leaned back in my chair, brushed my unruly hair back from my face, and covered my body protectively with my free arm.  Suddenly, I felt very exposed and insecure.

“Of course I want you,” he murmured gently.  “If I didn’t, I would have left right after we had sex, silly!”

Looking to the ceiling, I questioned why I was with this moron.  “Roan,” I began agitatedly, “we were in
your
apartment!  Why would
you
be the one to leave?  Dammit.”  Some days, carrying on a conversation with him was like talking to a concrete wall.  He was that dense.  When he didn’t respond, I continued.  “So, instead, I left angry this morning after yet another stupid fight and you didn’t come after me.”

“Well, if you left then you didn’t want to be there.  Why would I go after you and try to get you to do something you didn’t want to do, be somewhere you didn’t want to be?”  I could actually hear the self-satisfied smile in his voice.  Roan was convinced he had a valid argument.  

History suggested if I discussed my grievances with him long enough, the idiocy seemed to rub off and his ridiculous reasoning began to make sense.  I needed to end this conversation before that happened.  “I have to go.  I have to get ready.”

“Coming over after work?” he asked.

“Nope.”  The word came out just as sharply as I intended.  “I can go to my own house and not have an orgasm.  I don’t need to drive to the other side of town to get used by you.”  Then I slammed the receiver down, leaned forward on the desk, and shut my eyes a moment while I waited for the frustration to dissipate.  My solitude lasted all of thirty seconds before I could feel someone standing beside me.  Slowly, I opened my eyes to see Denzi looking down on me with a worried look.  “Well, Denzi Miller.  How the hell are you?  I seem to be having the day that just keeps on giving.”  I smiled sadly.

Pulling her chair over from the next cubicle, she sat down.  “I have some time, doll.  Let’s talk.”  She leaned forward conspiratorially and looked around before she opened her mouth again.  “What’s going on?”  Then before I could even consider how to respond, she spoke once more.  “I may have overheard the tail end of that convo.  Just sayin’.  What’s going on with Roan?”  The sympathy in her eyes nearly made me cry.

Nodding, I sniffled.  “Yeah. We hardly ever have sex. There’s always an excuse. Even worse, when we do have sex, it’s less than satisfying.”  Reaching for the tissue box on the shelf above me, I yanked one out in anticipation of the tears I just might not be able to hold back this time.

Denzi chuckled.  “If you need help shooting down an excuse, I’m so your girl.  We’ll get you two doing the horizontal Cha Cha in no time.”  She smiled confidently at me.  I wished I shared her enthusiasm.  “Wait. Is he a selfish lover? Do you even want to have sex with him?”  The sideways look she offered suggested I might just take this as an opportunity to move on.  “You know how much fun we could have single together, right?”  She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.  

“Tempting, but I feel like at my age, I need to start getting serious about a permanent relationship,” I explained honestly.

Opening her purse, Denzi felt around inside until she found what she sought.  Dipping her finger in a pot of lip gloss, she puckered and applied before responding.  Snatching my tissue, Denzi wiped her fingers.  “Please, you weren’t going to need this.”  She wadded up the soiled Kleenex and tossed it in the garbage can under my desk.  “Oh, and we’re twenty-four, it’s not like we’re old maids, crazy pants.”  She shook her head at me.  

“The sex with Roan used to be good, as I recall...”

Her eyes flew upward to the ceiling.  “Oh Lawd!  Please help this child.”  Then she trained her look on me.  “As you recall?  What the hell ever.  You should be going at it like rabbits!  So what are these excuses?”

Opening my hand I began ticking them off on my fingers in order of most frequently in play.  “He needs the testosterone for work.  It’s too early.  It’s too late.  It’s not time yet.  He wants a shower first.  He just showered...”  I smiled.  “You see where I’m going with this.  “It’s one reason after another.”  My eyes began to water at the humiliation.  “You’ve probably never experienced anything like this,” I mumbled, in full wallow mode.