Place Of Her Own (8 page)

The idea of working for Mrs. MacKenneth pleased him, but the thought of seeing Katherine every day increased his joy tenfold.
Father, help me win her heart.

He rode Kehoe up to Grandma Mac’s farm. He found Katherine in the yard, hanging linens on the line. A smile creased his lips. A desire to see her doing the same for him and their family one day gave him pause. He pictured her with two children hanging on to her skirts and a round belly full with another. Shelton shook off those thoughts. She wasn’t ready. And although he was, he needed to keep focused on slowly building a relationship with her, one in which she didn’t jump at his very presence.

“It’s good to see you, Katherine.”

A light blush rose on her cheeks. “How are your hands?” “Much better, thank you. How’s Mrs. MacKenneth?” “Good, all things considered. I didn’t realize she was having so much trouble getting around.” Shelton dismounted. “Did she fall?”

A gentle smile creased Katherine’s face. “No. Just old bones, she says.”

As much as he wanted to stay and talk with Katherine, that wasn’t why he’d come. He couldn’t afford to lose another job. “Excuse me, Katherine, but Mrs. MacKenneth is waiting on me.”

He took the porch steps two at a time.

Half an hour later he was out in the barn with a list of chores. He couldn’t imagine how Mac and Urias kept up their farms as well as Mrs. MacKenneth’s. Perhaps this wasn’t a token job offer after all. She really could use a part-time workman around the old house.

“Shelton,” Katherine called from the barn door, “Grandma Mac says she expects you to join us for lunch.”

“I take that to mean there isn’t an option.”

Katherine chuckled. “For an old woman she sure has some spit and fire.”

“I believe you’re right. Do you know where she keeps the whetstone?”

“No. I’m afraid I know little about the barn. I’ve only been in here a time or two. But I’ll be glad to help you look.”

“Thank you. I’m sure we can find it. If not, I can borrow Urias’s.”

She stepped inside and helped him search the barn. “Do you like farming?”

Shelton didn’t quite know how to answer that question. “Truthfully, no. But there are a lot of things in this life that we have to do that aren’t pleasant.”

Katherine went rigid.

Shelton mentally kicked himself. He’d done it again, reminded her of the past. A past he prayed he was wrong about. He wanted to ask her straight out if she’d been abused but that would be rude. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to speak insensitively. Forgive me.”

She knitted her eyebrows and cocked her head. Her lips parted slightly, but she closed them again.

“Are you all right?”

She pressed her eyelids closed, then opened them slowly. For a moment he lost himself in those powerful green eyes that had captivated his dreams more nights than he could count.

“I’m fine. I apologize for responding so dramatically to a perfectly natural statement. What is it about farm life that you don’t appreciate?”

He thought about her question for a moment. “To be honest, I guess I’m a bit spoiled. I was raised in a house where servants did my bidding. I’m not afraid of hard work, but my body hasn’t done much of it. My hands protest every time I try to do something physical. I can’t wait until the day when I can hire a man to do these tasks for me.”

She peered at him, as if trying to determine what meaning lay behind his words.

“It’s not that I find the work beneath me. I just don’t like doing it. I will because I must, but it doesn’t give me the same joy I find in training Kehoe and Kate.”

Her eyes flew open. “You named your mare after me?”

Heat rose up his neck and covered his ears. “Yes,” he confessed and went back to searching for the whetstone. He wanted to confess his love for her, but held back. Now was not the time.

“Shelton?” Her voice wavered.

He looked up at her. “Yes?”

“It’s not possible.” Katherine ran out of the barn.

A strong drive to run after her captured his heart. But his head kept his feet firmly planted. There would be opportunities in the future to speak with her, to convince her that they did in fact have a future. But he could not provide that future, not just yet.

Katherine trembled as she yanked a large pot out of the kitchen cupboard. Why did every encounter with Shelton make her long to be in his arms? How could the simplest things he said make her want to confess her past to him? She wanted a future with him. But Hiram Greene had made it clear that she was not fit for his family. No, a relationship with Shelton was impossible.

“Nothing is impossible with God.”
The fragmented piece of scripture rang in her head. “Lord, you don’t understand.” Katherine let out a mild cough. “That didn’t come out right. But, Lord, You have no idea who Hiram Greene is.” She cleared her throat again and set the pot on the stove with a clang. “Lord, I know You know all, but even You have to admit that man is …”

“Is what, dear?” Grandma Mac asked.

Katherine looked up and saw the older woman standing in the doorway.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your prayers, but if you keep banging those pans, there won’t be one fit to fry in.” Katherine looked down. “I’m sorry.”

Grandma Mac sat at the kitchen table. “Tell me, what’s on your mind, child?”

Katherine took a tin measuring cup out of the drawer.

“Has Shelton Greene acted inappropriately toward you?”

“Shelton? He’s the only man who’s treated me like a woman.”

“So you do love him.”

“No,” Katherine replied, a bit too quickly. “I respect him. Probably too much.”

Grandma Mac narrowed her gaze. “Not all men behave badly, you know.”

Katherine’s hands shook. She put down the measuring cup and turned away from Grandma Mac’s knowing gaze. The past blazed through her memory as quickly as a bolt of lightning in the sky.

Holding back tears, she faced Grandma Mac again. Her pale brown eyes spoke volumes.

Katherine sat beside the intuitive woman. “You know, don’t you?” she whispered.

“I’ve suspected from the start. Whenever any man got within ten feet of you, your back stiffened. But you let your guard down around Shelton. At first I thought it was because he was family. Now I suspect you love him. But because of your past you don’t feel you have the right to have a blessed union with a man. Am I right?”

Katherine nodded. “Yes. But there’s more to it than that.”

Grandma Mac lifted her chin. “You can tell me, dear.”

“If I could ever truly love a man, it would be Shelton.

But …”

“But what, honey?”

“When Shelton’s father owned me, before I came to move here … just before Urias found me, five years ago … Mr. Greene made it very clear that he would never consent to a union between me and his son.”

“I see. So because you were once their servant, you aren’t allowed to love Shelton? Or do you think Shelton’s father would disown him if he married you?”

“Family is very important to Shelton. I don’t think I’ve had one conversation with him in which he didn’t discuss his commitment to provide for and help his family. I could never stand in the way of that.” Katherine stopped herself from saying more. Some things were best kept hidden.

“You are not Hiram Greene’s servant, nor any other man’s. You are God’s child. And He loves you. He forgives you. His heart aches for the improprieties that have fallen upon you. But you are redeemed, Katherine. You’re free to pursue a relationship with Shelton if that is what you wish. Is it?”

Katherine stared at the tabletop. “Honestly, I don’t know. I do like Shelton, and I enjoy talking with him very much. But I don’t know if I could ever trust a man enough to love him in … the way that God designed.”

Grandma Mac patted her hand. “Unfortunately, other women have been in situations similar to yours. Some were able to move beyond the pain of the past and have good lives with loving husbands. Others have turned to wanton ways, believing they are worthless. Please don’t think that about yourself. Walk in faith and trust God.”

“I could never live a life of ill repute. But I don’t see how it is possible for me to live with a man.”

“By God’s grace, dear.” Grandma Mac rose from the chair and left Katherine alone with her thoughts.

Perhaps one day I could live with a man.
But the likelihood of it being Shelton was slim. Hiram Greene stood like an ox in the barnyard—huge, strong, and stubborn to the point of being immovable.

Shelton worked at Mrs. MacKenneth’s farm every morning. During the afternoons he rode into Creelsboro to procure stud fees. He arranged for the setup to take place in the livery stable in Creelsboro. The client would bring in a mare, then Kehoe would come into the narrow corral and do his part, after which he returned to his own pen. Unfortunately, Kehoe had suffered once or twice. After the last service, Shelton had found him bleeding. The mare had bitten him hard on the neck.

After a couple of weeks, he had earned enough money to speak with a bank manager about securing a loan for purchasing his own property. He hoped there might be a foreclosure he could pick up for a reasonable rate.

Shelton left Kehoe in the public stable and headed for the bank. The streets were filled with travelers heading west. The excitement in the air promised hope and freedom. Shelton felt its powerful tug as an easy answer to his financial problems.

He stepped off the dusty street into the dark-paneled confines of the bank.

“Good afternoon.” A bald, middle-aged man extended a hand to him. His pin-striped business suit draped over a stout figure.

“Afternoon,” Shelton responded, accepting the handshake. “I was wondering if I could speak with the manager.”

“That’d be me, sir. Reynolds is the name. What can I do for you?”

“I’d like to talk about getting a loan to purchase some property in the area.”

The man lit up like a full moon. “Why don’t we step into my office.”

Two hours later Shelton came out with a smile on his face and a lightness in his heart. Mr. Reynolds had said that once he verified Shelton’s past financial dealings with the banks back in Hazel Greene, he didn’t see a problem giving him a loan. He even recommended a two-hundred-acre farm where the owner had passed away and the widow hoped to return to family in New York.

Two hundred acres seemed like more than Shelton required. Then again, the horses needed grazing fields and long, open runs for strength and development. He had a lot to think about and a lot to pray about.

He sent a letter to his parents to let them know of the recent turn of events. Soon he’d be able to write and tell them where their new home would be. A desire to share his news with Katherine spurred him on. He urged Kehoe to move a bit faster. He looked at the wound on the horse’s neck. It had begun to bleed again. Shelton pulled back on the reins and let the stallion trot at a nice even pace.

As he neared the outskirts of the MacKenneths’ farm, the sun was beginning to set. Katherine would have to wait until tomorrow to hear his good news. He enjoyed seeing her every day at the elder MacKenneth’s farm, but he missed spending time with her and the family at Urias’s. The way her face lit up when she played with her nephews made his heart soar.
I think we should have a large family.

“Whoa,” he said out loud, quickly reining in his thoughts.

Kehoe pulled to an abrupt stop. Shelton clicked his tongue to encourage the animal to continue. “Sorry, boy. I wasn’t talking to you.”

He chided himself for allowing his imagination to stray into foolish territory. He couldn’t convince her to open up to him, let alone kiss him, and here he was picturing having children with her.

When he arrived at Urias’s barn, he removed Kehoe’s saddle, brushed him down, and carefully washed the wound on the horse’s neck. Then he checked on Kate. He gave the mare a good brushing.

“Do you always spend this much time with them?” Katherine asked.

Startled, he raised his head suddenly and nearly crowned it on the side of the pen. “What are you doing here?”

“I was invited to dinner, and Urias sent me out to fetch you to join us. The children have all eaten, but Urias is getting hungry and cranky.”

Shelton chuckled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know they were holding dinner on me. I had to tend to Kehoe’s injury.”

Katherine came up to the stallion. “What happened?”

“A frisky mare bit him.”

“Oh.” A gentle blush covered Katherine’s cheeks. “Is Kate almost ready to foal?”

“Any time now.” Shelton put down the brush and washed his hands at the pump. “I have some good news.”

Katherine smiled. The glow of her green eyes and the gentle rose pink of her lips warmed Shelton deep within.

He switched his focus back to the ice-cold water from the pump. “Mr. Reynolds at the bank said that if my references and facts concerning my bank records in Hazel Greene check out, I’ll be approved for a loan to purchase a farm in the area.”

“Oh Shelton, that’s wonderful news.” Katherine wrapped her arms around him, then immediately pulled away.

He knew he couldn’t pressure her to show affection, but inwardly he rejoiced that she had reached out to him. “I sent a letter to my parents and let them know it won’t be much longer before they can plan on moving here.”