Plain and Fancy (18 page)

“Just that you’ll soon be busy setting up your own house.”

“Not really. Eli and I will be living with your folks, remember?”

Martha Rose nodded. “Jah, but not for long. If I know my brother, he’ll be working long hours on your future home.” She winked at Laura. “He’s a man in love, and I think he’d like to have you all to himself.”

Laura felt the heat of a blush stain her face. “I—I’d like that, too.”

“So, dish up plenty of eggs now.”

Laura opened her mouth to offer a rebuttal, but the sound of a car pulling into the yard drew her to the window. “It’s my parents. They’ve come to say good-bye.” She jerked open the door and ran down the stairs. If she was going to get all teary-eyed, she’d rather not do it in front of Eli’s sister.

As soon as Mom and Dad stepped from the car, the three of them shared a group hug.

“I’ll miss you,” Laura said tearfully.

“Be happy,” her mother whispered.

“If you ever need anything—anything at all—please don’t hesitate to call.” Dad grinned at her. “I know you Amish don’t have phones in your houses, but you can always call from a payphone or from one of your English neighbors’ like you did before.”

Laura nodded as a lump formed in her throat. She didn’t know why saying good-bye to her folks was so hard; she’d been away from them for some time already. Maybe it was the reality that she was a married woman now—an Amish woman, to be exact. There could be no quick plane trips home whenever she felt the need, and it wasn’t likely that Mom and Dad would come here to visit that often, either.

“We should really go inside and say good-bye to your new sister-in-law,” Mom said as she started for the house.

“Where’s Eli?” Dad asked. “We do get to tell our son-in-law good-bye, I hope.”

“Eli went with his brothers to return the benches we used at the wedding,” Laura explained. “He’s not back yet.”

Mom’s mouth dropped open. “The day after your wedding?”

Laura nodded.

Dad glanced at his watch. “We should leave soon if we’re going to make our plane.”

“I’m sure Eli will be here shortly, but if you can’t wait, I’ll tell him—” Laura’s words were halted by a piercing scream. At least she thought it was a scream. She turned toward the sound coming from the front porch and saw Foosie clinging to one of the support beams, hissing and screeching, with Amon’s two dogs yapping and jumping after her.

“Foosie must have slipped out the doorway behind me.” Laura turned back to face her parents. “I’d better go rescue her, and you two had better get to the airport. You don’t want to miss your flight.”

Mom gave Laura a quick peck on the cheek, then climbed into their rental car. Dad embraced Laura one final time, and just before he took his seat on the driver’s side, he said, “Don’t forget to call if you need us.”

Laura nodded and blinked back tears. She offered one final wave, then raced toward the house.

Laura had visited Eli’s parents’ home several times, but she’d never had occasion to use the rest room. It wasn’t until she and Eli moved her things to his house and were settled into their room that Laura was hit with a sickening reality. Despite the fact that most Amish homes in the area had indoor bathrooms, the Yoders still used an outhouse.

“I’ll never be able to use that smelly facility,” she complained to Eli as they prepared for bed that night.

He flopped onto the bed with a groan. “I can’t do anything about it tonight, but I promise as soon as our own home is done, it will have a bathroom.”

“That will be fine for when the time comes that we get to move, but what about now? I’ll need a
real
bathroom here, too, Eli.”

“I’ll see about turning one of the upstairs closets into a bathroom when I can find the time.”

“Why can’t your father or brothers build the bathroom?”

“They’re busy with other things, too, and to tell you the truth, I don’t think having an inside bathroom is all that important to any of ’em.”

Laura paced back and forth in front of their bedroom window. “So while I’m waiting for you to find the time, how am I supposed to bathe?”

“We have a large galvanized tub in the washroom for that. You’ll heat water on the stove, and—”

“What?” Laura whirled around to face him. “I can hardly believe you would expect me to live under such primitive conditions!”

Eli looked at her as if she’d taken leave of her senses. “Calm down. You’ll wake up the whole house, shouting that way.” He left the bed and joined her at the window. “You’ve gotten used to living without other modern things, so I would think you could manage this little inconvenience. After all, it’s really not such a
baremlich
thing.”

She squinted. “It’s a terrible thing to me. And this is not a ‘little’ inconvenience. It’s a catastrophe!”

“Such resentment I see on your face.” He brushed her cheek with the back of his thumb. “You’ve done well adjusting to being Amish, and I’m proud of you.”

How could she stay mad with him looking at her that way? His enchanting blue eyes shone like the moonlight, and his chin dimple looked even more pronounced with his charming smile.

Laura leaned against Eli’s chest and sighed. “Promise me you’ll build us a decent bathroom as soon as you can.”

“I promise.”

The next few weeks flew by as Laura settled into her in-laws’ home. There wasn’t as much privacy as Laura would have liked, but she knew the situation would only be temporary.

One evening as she and Eli were in their room looking at some of the wedding gifts they had received, Laura commented that her favorite gift was the oval braided rug in rich autumn hues that Martha Rose had made. With a smile of satisfaction, she placed it on the wooden floor at the foot of their bed. “Look how well it goes with the quilt I purchased at the farmers’ market that first day we met.” She motioned toward the lovely covering on their bed. “These two items can be the focal points in our room.”

Eli raised his eyebrows. “I don’t know anything about focal points, but the rug does looks good.” He pulled Laura to his chest and rubbed his face against her cheek. “Almost as good as my beautiful wife.”

“Eli, you’re hurting me. Your face is so scratchy!”

He stepped back, holding her at arm’s length. “It’ll be better once my beard grows in fully.”

She stared up at him. “I know Amish men are expected to grow a beard once they’re married, but I’m going to miss that little chin dimple of yours.”

Eli grinned. “It’ll still be there; you’ll just have to hunt for it.”

Laura giggled. “You’re such a tease.”

He tickled her under the chin. “And that’s why you love me so much, jah?”

She nodded and gave him another hug. “I surely do.”

Eli knew Laura wasn’t happy living with his folks, and the absence of an indoor bathroom was only part of the problem. Almost every day when he came home from work, she greeted him with some complaint about his mother. He wasn’t sure if the problem was Mom’s fault or Laura’s, but he hoped it would work itself out.

One Saturday, Eli decided to take Laura out for lunch at the Bird-in-Hand Family Restaurant, which had always been one of his favorite places to eat.

“This is such a nice surprise,” Laura said, as the two of them were seated at a table inside the restaurant. “It’s been so long since we did anything fun, I’d forgotten what it was like.”

Eli snickered. “I think you’re exaggerating some, but I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

Laura glanced at the buffet counter behind them. “I might not be enjoying myself so much after I count up the calories I’ll be consuming here today.”

Eli’s forehead wrinkled. “You worry way too much about your weight, Laura. What are you gonna do when you’re in a family way?”

Laura opened her mouth as if to respond, but Selma and Elmer Hostetler stepped up to their table just then.

“Did I hear that someone’s expecting a boppli?” Selma asked with a curious expression.

Laura’s face turned red, and Eli shook his head. “Not us, but my sister is.”

“So I heard.” Selma smiled. “How many kinner are you two hoping to have?”

“Oh, as many as the good Lord allows,” Eli replied.

Laura’s mouth dropped open like a broken window hinge. “Huh?”

Elmer nudged his wife on the arm. “What kind of question is that for you to be askin’ these newlyweds? You’re worse than our outspoken daughter, and now you’ve embarrassed Laura.”

Selma’s face had reddened, too, and Eli felt the need to change the subject. “Speaking of Pauline ... is she here with you today?”

“Nope. She moved to Kidron, Ohio, last week.”

“Kidron? What’s she doing there?”

“Went to be with her aunt.”

Selma shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she cleared her throat. “I ... uh ... think she needed a change of scenery in order to get over her breakup with you. I’m sure she’ll be back when she feels ready.”

Eli couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for being the cause of Pauline leaving her family, but what should he have done—married the girl just to make her happy?

“We ought to get ourselves some food and get back to our seats, don’t ya think?” Elmer nudged Selma again.

“Jah, sure. Enjoy your meal,” she said, nodding at Eli and then Laura.

When the Hostetlers moved away, Eli stood. “Guess we’d better get some food now, too.”

Laura made no reply; just pushed away from the table and moved over to the buffet counter with a disgruntled expression. When they returned to the table a short time later, Eli felt a sense of concern seeing how little food she had put on her plate.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“I was until Pauline’s folks showed up.”

“Why would them stopping by our table make you lose your appetite?”

Laura took a drink from her glass of iced tea before she spoke. “Well, let me see now ... First, Selma embarrassed me by asking if I was pregnant; then she asked how many children we planned to have. As if that wasn’t enough, she made sure you knew why Pauline has moved to Ohio.” She grimaced. “Didn’t that make you feel uncomfortable, Eli?”

“Jah, a bit, but Selma’s right about Pauline needing a change of scenery, and I’m sure it is my fault that she decided to go.”

“How can it be your fault? You told me there was nothing but friendship between you and Pauline. I never understood why she thought there was more.”

Eli shrugged. “I guess she wanted there to be, and when I started seeing her again after you and I decided it would be best if we went our separate ways—”

Laura held up her hand. “Just a minute. It was you who decided that, not me.”

He nodded. “You’re right, but that was before you’d made the decision to become Amish.”

She leaned forward, staring hard at him. “So if I hadn’t made that decision, would you have married Pauline?”

Eli took a sip of his water, hoping it would help cool him down. What he’d wanted to be a pleasant afternoon for the two of them was turning into a most uncomfortable situation, and if he didn’t do something soon, they might end up in an argument.

“Well, Eli ... are you going to answer my question or not?”

He set his glass on the table. “I can’t rightly say, but I don’t think I would have married her.”

“You don’t
think
so? If you never loved her, then marrying her shouldn’t have been an option.” Laura’s voice had risen so high, Eli feared those sitting nearby would hear. “I’ll bet you would have married her if I hadn’t agreed to become Amish, wouldn’t you?”

He put a finger to his lips. “Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

“Let’s just eat our food and forget about conversation.”

“That suits me fine.” Eli bowed his head for silent prayer, and when he lifted it, he noticed that Laura had already begun to eat. He didn’t know if she had joined him in prayer or not, but he decided it was best not to ask. They could finish this discussion later.

On the buggy ride home, Laura kept her eyes shut, hoping Eli would think she was asleep and wouldn’t try to make conversation. The last thing she wanted was another argument, and she was pretty sure they would quarrel if she told him all the things that were going on in her mind.

When Laura felt the buggy turn sharply and heard the wheels crunch through some gravel, she figured they had pulled into the Yoders’ driveway, so she opened her eyes.

Before they got to the yard, Eli pulled back on the reins and guided the horse and buggy to the edge of the driveway.

“What are you doing? Why are we stopping?”

“So we can talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I think there is.”

She drew in a deep breath and released it with a weary sigh. “What do you think we need to talk about?”

“This business with you thinking I would have married Pauline, for one thing. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times, Pauline and I were never more than friends.”

“She wanted it to be more.” Laura balled her hands into fists. “I think your mother did, too.”

“Mom? What’s Mom got to do with this?”

Laura pursed her lips as she squinted. “Oh, Eli, don’t look so wide-eyed and innocent. We’ve been living with your folks several weeks now. Surely you can feel the tension between me and your mother.”

He merely shrugged in response.

“She’s mentioned Pauline a few times, too. I think she believes Pauline would have made you a better wife.”

A vein on the side of Eli’s neck began to bulge, and Laura wondered if she had hit a nerve.

“Your mom is always criticizing me,” she continued. “I can never do anything right where she’s concerned.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“No, but I think I know Mom pretty well.”

“You don’t know her as well as you think. She scrutinizes my work, and she—”

“Enough! I don’t want to hear another word against my mamm!”

As the days moved on, Laura became more frustrated. Nothing seemed to be going right. Their house still wasn’t done; Eli wasn’t nearly so cheerful and fun-loving anymore; Foosie was an irritant to Eli’s mother; Laura dreaded the extra chores she was expected to do; and worst of all, she couldn’t stand that smelly outhouse! She was on her way there now and none too happy about it.

On previous trips to the privy, she’d encountered several disgusting spiders, a yellow jackets’ nest, and a couple of field mice. She was a city girl and hated bugs. She shouldn’t have to be subjected to this kind of torture.

Laura opened the wooden door and held it with one hand as she lifted her kerosene lantern and peered cautiously inside. Nothing lurking on the floor. She held the lamp higher and was about to step inside when the shaft of light fell on something dark and furry. It was sitting over the hole.

Laura let out a piercing scream and slammed the door. She sprinted toward the house and ran straight into Eli, coming from the barn.

“Laura, what’s wrong? I heard you hollering and thought one of Pop’s pigs had gotten loose again.”

Laura clung to Eli’s jacket. “It’s the outhouse ... there’s some kind of monstrous animal in there!”

Eli grinned at her. “
Kumme
—come now. It was probably just a little old maus.”

“It was not a mouse. It was dark and furry ... and huge!”

Eli slipped his hand in the crook of her arm. “Let’s go have a look-see.”

“I’m not going in there.”

He chuckled. “You don’t have to. I’ll do the checking.”

Laura held her breath as Eli entered the outhouse. “Be careful.”

She heard a thud, followed by a loud
whoop.
Suddenly, the door flew open and Eli bolted out of the privy, chased by the hairy creature Laura had seen a few moments ago. It was a comical sight, but she was almost too frightened to see the full humor in it.

“What was that?” she asked Eli, as the two of them stood watching the critter dash into the field.

“I think it was a hedgehog,” Eli said breathlessly. “The crazy thing tried to attack me, but I kicked him with the toe of my boot, right before I walked out of the outhouse.”

Laura giggled as her fear dissipated. “Don’t you mean, ‘
ran
out of the outhouse’?”

Eli’s face turned pink, and he chuckled. “Guess I was movin’ pretty fast.”

The two of them stood for a few seconds, gazing into each other’s eyes. Then they both started laughing. They laughed so hard, tears streamed down their faces, and Laura had to set the lantern on the ground for fear it would fall out of her hand. It felt good to laugh. It was something neither of them did much anymore.

When they finally got control of their emotions, Eli reached for her hand. “I’ll see about indoor plumbing as soon as spring comes; I promise.”