Play Softly (The Devil's Share Book 4) (11 page)

I don’t mean maybe, because I love you so.”

The words to the song, he’d been telling us good-bye every night for weeks now. I let my tears fall; let them soak his shirt as I started to drift off to sleep.

Chapter Seventeen

Dash

When I woke up, it was nearly five o’clock in the morning. It was still dark outside and the house was silent. I didn’t even have to check. I knew Lexi and Halen weren’t here. I could always feel their absence, like pieces of me were missing. Usually I let them be, let them have their time with Luke because I knew it was limited. But for some reason this time I threw the covers off and climbed out of bed. I made my way to the living room and found Halen sleeping peacefully in her bassinet and Luke tucking a blanket around Lexi.

“You leaving?”

He turned to look at me. “Yeah. My flight leaves at seven.”

I motion to my beautiful fiancée. “Did you tell her?”

“I told her I was leaving. I didn’t tell her where I was going, or when my flight left.”

I nodded. “So she’s going to wake up and find you gone. And be heartbroken.”

He rubbed his hands down his face. “She’d be upset either way, and I just… I just couldn’t do good-byes. Not with her, not with anyone.”

“You don’t get to make that choice for us.” Smith walked into the room, Luke’s suitcase in his hands.

Luke turned to me, the question clear on his face. I held my hands up. “I didn’t tell anyone anything.”

Jacks came down the stairs and stood by Smith. “We know you, Luke, we’re your friends, your family.”

Luke hung his head. “I’m sorry, I just—”

“Stop.” I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to explain. And we aren’t asking you to tell us good-bye.”

Jacks came a few steps closer. “Because it’s not good-bye, right?”

Luke looked back at Lexi and then down at Halen. “No. It’s not good-bye.”

“Come on, bud. I’ll drive you to the airport.” Smith picked up Luke’s suitcases and headed toward the door.

“Have fun, bro. We’ll see you soon.” Jacks winked and then headed back up the stairs.

“Take care of her.” Luke glanced back at Lexi one last time.

“Always.” I met his gaze. “Come home to her.”

He nodded once. “Always.”

And then he walked out the door.

I picked Lexi up, carried her back to our room. And then I grabbed Halen in her bassinet, doing the same. If Luke was leaving, I was bringing my girls back to my bed. When I climbed under the covers and pulled Lexi’s body against mine, she stirred.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?”

I wrapped my arms around her. “Yes, Kitten. He’s gone.”

I felt her tears more than I heard them. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t cry. I’m just worried about him, worried if I’ll ever see him again.”

“It’s okay, Lex. Your best friend just left and you don’t know when you’ll see him again. It’s sad.” I chuckled. “Hell, even I’m a little sad.”

“You are the most amazing man I have ever met, you know that?”

“I do. But it’s still nice to hear every once in a while.” I kissed the top of her head. “Want me to hold you so you can cry yourself to sleep?” That’s how much I loved this woman.

“Nope.” She brought her hands up, wiping away her tears. “No more tears. I hope Luke finds what he’s looking for. I hope he has fun. I hope he laughs. I hope he comes home full of light and happiness.”

Epilogue

Luke

I didn’t love to fly. In fact, I hated it. But I couldn’t very well drive all the way to Central America. Landry and I had watched a special on the Travel Channel one night featuring Costa Rica. It seemed like as good a place as any. I’d always wanted to learn to surf. So here I was, watching the sun rise from the tarmac, drinking vodka from a mini bottle. I’d bought myself a first-class ticket. Actually, I’d bought myself two so I wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone. Wouldn’t have to make any small talk or sign any autographs. I’d just left the girl I loved. I’d just left my family. I was going to get rip-roaring drunk and then pass the hell out.

“Sir? Is there anything I can do for you before takeoff?”

The busty blonde flight attendant leaned forward with her hands on her knees, giving me a good view of her cleavage. Bold invitation. “No. Thank you.” Mile high club was not really part of my flight plan.

I closed my eyes, recalling the exact moment I’d decided I needed an escape. Lexi and Halen had only been home a day or so. I was sitting on the recliner chatting with everyone while Lexi sat on the couch nursing her daughter. You could tell that Lex was frustrated and that she was in pain. She was looking around, searching for something. I’d made a move to get up, to see what she needed, but then Dash came in from the kitchen. He sat down next to her and lifted the light blanket she’d had draped around her and Halen. He reached down and helped her adjust the baby. I know it seems stupid. Such an odd moment to realize you need to run away. But the look on Dash’s face, it was pure adoration. There was no lust, no want. He was just so in awe of Lexi, and so in love with his girl.
His
girls
.

I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. It took everything I had not to get up and walk out of the house that very second.

But I’d never do that to Lexi. She deserved some quality time and a real good-bye. So I set my alarm, and I woke up with her in the middle of the night. It was no accident. I knew what time Halen ate. I knew that Lexi was always on her own for the three a.m. feeding. I held them while they slept, softly singing to them that I had to go.

Although the band had figured it out, the only one in the house I’d actually told I was leaving was Landry. She’d helped me plan my trip. She’d made me promise to take a lot of pictures and to bring home good presents for everyone.

I loved that little girl something fierce. When we’d moved into the beach house, before Landry had shown up, I’d been partying more than I typically did. But then I’d started giving Landry drum lessons. She’d been through so much, pitying myself and my situation seemed pathetic. She was light and love, and hanging with her had pulled me out of my downward spiral. Her laughter and the beat of the drums had been the exact distraction I’d needed.

But now? I just wanted to self-destruct. I wanted to wallow and drink and bang. I wanted to be the quintessential rock-and-roll bad boy. I’d watched my bandmates do it for long enough, now it was my turn. I reached up and turned on my light, signaling the flight attendant.

The
I Don’t Give a Fuck
tour had officially begun.

***

Luke’s story,
Play Hard
, is coming soon.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

L.P. Maxa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband, daughter, three rescue dogs, one stray cat, and a fish that keeps dying and she keeps replacing so her toddler doesn’t notice. She loves reading romance novels as much as she loves writing them. She’s new to the writing game but has published four books in her first year alone. Inspiration can come from anywhere: a song lyric, a quote, a weekend with friends. The tiniest things spark amazing stories.

ALSO BY L.P. MAXA

The Devil’s Share series

Play Nice

Play Dirty

Play Fair

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