Playing for Hearts (86 page)

“From what I hear, you were living in Seattle the last few years.” Grayson laughed softly. “Gary's kept us updated, plus Drew came to our wedding and mentioned you were now a massage therapist at some swanky place downtown. Everything is changing. We're all settling down…except Bruce and Crista. Dominic's not here tonight, but he got hitched and lives in Cottage Grove now. Shauna's best friends with his wife, Diana.”

“That's…crazy,” she said.

The locker door banged open. Gary stormed out. His gaze connected on her, took in Grayson, and acknowledged his arrival with a chin lift, and he strode her way. She squeezed Grayson's hand. “Excuse me for a moment.”

She met Gary a few feet away. “What's wrong?”

“We were caught on a security tape the other night. Apparently, they wanted to watch us for a few days to see how we acted together while I practiced before confronting me.” His mouth hardened. “I knew this would happen.”

“Oh my God.” She covered her mouth.

“I'm sure they'll be talking to you next. I've already told them it was nothing. Just me getting caught up in the win, and taking advantage of you,” he whispered. “They understand the adrenaline, and will be much more lenient with me.”

She dropped her hand. “What?”

“If you tell them we've had no relations until that night, and now it's over and done, they might keep you on. Maybe put you on probation if you stay away from me,” he said.

“I can't do that,” she blurted.

She looked at Grayson standing there and groaned. Nothing like spilling their secret to another person, and having one more thing to worry about.

Gary nodded at Grayson. “He's not going to say anything.”

“I know that, but—”

“It's over, honey. You'll go in there and if they ask, it was a one night fling after the game and meant nothing to you.” Gary straightened. “I need to get back in there before they notice I'm missing. I'll talk to you at home, and get you set up at a hotel until you can figure out where you want to live.”

She stared after him with her mouth open, not believing what was happening. There was always a risk. She'd gone into the relationship knowing this day could happen. Her idea to surprise him after the game had backfired. She dashed away the tear that fell down her cheek. Their relationship—whether secret or public—was over.

Instead of feeling relief that she no longer had to hide how much she loved Gary, she ached inside. Why did it feel like Gary had just walked out of her life, for good?

“Angie?” Grayson put his hand on her arm. “I take it you two are together.”

She nodded, unable to speak.

“Can I do anything?” he asked.

She shook her head and pasted on a smile she in no way felt and then lied again. “It'll be okay.”

But the way Gary made the situation sound was awful. She wasn't a fling. She wasn't his fangirl. He'd cut her off, and wanted to discontinue their relationship. He wanted to put her up in a hotel. He wanted her gone. He wanted her to lie about their love.

“I need to go in,” she said, her voice cracking.

“Okay.” Grayson rubbed her back. “Tell Gary I'll…I'll call him tomorrow. We're all staying at the Hyatt.”

She nodded and walked away. Numb and confused, she had no idea what was going to happen now. Gary had been upset, and she'd put his career in jeopardy. If she were smart, she'd walk in there and tell the truth and end the gossip.

She loved Gary.

She opened the door and stepped into the locker room. The muggy heat and putrid odors swept over her. She'd need this job if Gary was no longer going to see her.

Seeing him every day and not having him in her life would kill her. She motioned Lowry over to the bench, but before she could join him, John and Gary's coach ordered her into the office. She walked across the locker room with a thousand pounds resting on her shoulders. The only thing she could do was go along with Gary's story, and hope they understood it was a moment's bad decision. If she survived from a broken heart that long, she could figure out what to do next.

Gary walked out of the elevator at the Hyatt hotel onto the third floor, carrying Angie's two bags of luggage she'd thrown together in a fit of anger after he'd informed her it was over and they had to go their separate ways to make sure she kept her job. He clamped his teeth together to keep from saying what was really on his mind—that he hated sending her away, and he wanted her with him, where she belonged.

John had put Angie on notice. Coach had told him to get rid of the girl. The situation was out of his hands, and the only thing he could do was distance himself. If he continued to live with Angie, there was no way he'd fix their problem. Moving her to the hotel was for the best.

Angie stopped outside room 348 and swiped her key card through the lock. He took one step inside and placed her bags on the floor. His chest tightened and he gave the room one sweep to make sure everything was okay for her stay and she'd be comfortable.

“Remember to call room service and order something to eat. I've already paid your bill, so don't go without.” He took in her red-rimmed eyes, knowing she hadn't cried in front of him and it hurt to know she was suffering.

She turned around and crossed her arms. “I'm fine. You can leave.”

He shoved his hands deep in his front pockets. There were a lot of things he could do, but leaving was right up there with getting an elbow in his diaphragm and getting taken out of the game. “It's the right thing for us to do, honey.”

She lifted her chin and refused to comment. He inhaled deeply and looked away from the pain etched in her eyes. He'd always known it would come to this. If it wasn't her job, it was his risk of getting involved with his best friend's little sister and tearing them all apart. Drew was coming around to supporting them both, but if he screwed up and Angie lost her job, it was another thing he'd have to own up to with Drew. No matter what happened, someone was going to get hurt.

“You'll be okay?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No.”

“Angie, I—”

“Don't.” She held her hand up, stopping him from saying any more. “I've already told you that I think we're making a big mistake. I can quit. I'd rather leave my job under my own power than stop what we have together.”

“You can't. This job means everything to you, and once you have time to figure that out, you'll realize that we need to stop seeing each other. Remember how you felt when you lived in Deadhorse with Drew?”

She looked away. He stepped forward. It was unnatural to stay away from her. Before they got together, he would've comforted her. After they got together, he would've comforted her. Now, he had no right to comfort her, and the hole in his heart threatened to cave in.

“I love you,” he whispered. “But I don't want you to…”

“What?” she asked.

He shook his head. “There are things in my life I regret. Time I wasted being angry and defiant to everyone in my life, because I thought I deserved better. I don't want you to go through the same thing, and I'm afraid a year or two from now, you'll look back and wish you'd made other choices.”

“I won't.” Her lips quivered. “I'll never regret you or the time we had. But you leaving me like this, I'll never forget it. Every time I go to bed alone, I'll know that you're not with me. Every time I wake up in the middle of the night and realize your arms aren't around me, I'll know I'm truly alone. I've been there before, and I hated it.”

“Honey, you've accepted why you have nightmares and realized your mom dying wasn't your fault. You've slept well for the last couple of weeks,” he said.

“Tell my heart that we didn't just die. That I didn't lose you then.” She rubbed her palm down her cheek. “I love you.”

“I know.” That knowledge killed him. He backed away and put his hand on the door handle. “Make sure you lock up.”

Then he hurried out of the room before he did something he'd regret. Halfway down the hallway, his phone rang. He grabbed and pushed the button before he could stop himself.

“Angie?” he said.

“No, it's Grayson,” the deep voice said.

He stopped outside the elevator. “Hey, sorry about not calling. I had some stuff to do after the game.”

“I heard, man.” Grayson sighed. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah.” He blew out his breath. “Short story, Angie and I were secretly seeing each other…hell, she was living with me, and with her new job, she's not allowed to date any of the players. Someone saw a tape of us messing around after the game, and she could lose her contract with the Seahawks.”

“That's what I figured with what Angie told me. Sorry to hear about it though, Satchel. Is there no way around it?” Grayson asked.

“I walked away from her so she can keep her job,” he said. “It's killing me.”

“Shit.” Grayson paused. “Are you serious about her?”

Was he serious? He gazed up at the ceiling. She was his everything. He couldn't imagine life without her, and even if he weren't sleeping with her, he'd find any way to stay in contact. That'd never change. She'd started out as a friend and now that he'd had her, they'd grown closer and he'd confessed his feelings, he wasn't willing to let that go.
But I did.

“I love her,” he said quietly. “I've loved her my entire life, but only recently been able to show her what she means to me. Hell, I thought I'd died when she returned my feelings.”

Grayson cussed. “You need to talk?”

“No.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm going to go home and crash, try to figure everything out, so I have some answers for her tomorrow. She doesn't understand why I'm pulling back from her. It's all or nothing with her.”

“Well, if you need anything, we're at the Hyatt until tomorrow night. Juan and Dana are here too. We wanted to catch your game tonight, and then we promised the girls they could spend a day shopping tomorrow. We'll get together next time we come up, okay?”

He looked down the hallway. “I'm standing in the Hyatt right now. Third floor by the elevator.”

“Hang on,” Grayson said.

A few seconds later a door opened at the end of the hallway. Gary disconnected the call and walked to meet Grayson who appeared in the corridor. They clasped hands in front of room 348.

“Good to see you, but I wish it was a happier time for you.” Grayson shook his head. “I'd buy you a beer, but I don't think that's a good idea tonight.”

“Yeah. Probably not.” Gary hitched his chin toward the door. “Angie's in there. I'm not really wanting to walk away, you know.”

Grayson nodded. “Want me to send Shauna and Dana over to talk with her?”

He cringed. The last thing he wanted was more women telling Angie how much he'd screwed up. Yet, Angie needed the support. He put his hand on the door. “She could use some friends right now. She's hurting.”

Grayson slapped his arm. “Done. Go home. Get some rest. Deal with this shit tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” He moved away from the door. “Thanks, man.”

Gary skipped taking the elevator down to the lobby, and instead pushed through the door at the end of the hall and took the stairs. His legs weak from playing tonight, he took his time. That was his excuse anyway. The real reason he hesitated on leaving the hotel was because he wanted to go back up to room 348 and be with Angie.

He kept making his descent down the steps. She'd never understand about the bitterness that piled up on your shoulders until it seemed even the simplest things were a burden. He'd grown up regretting being born to a mom who had too many problems to worry about her own child. Then later, the bitterness of being part of the system, shoved into a house that only provided the basics—food, clothes, roof over his head.

It was too much to ask her to get rid of everything she loved to settle for him. He was a professional athlete, on the road more times than he was home during the season, always giving his energy to a sport that took everything from him. He still wasn't sure he could provide the right amount of love, or provide her with a family, when he had nothing in his past that showed he was capable of giving another person everything they needed.

He could play football.

He could win.

He could bust his ass every day to make other people's life happier.

He pushed out into the cool night. His knees wobbled, and he forced himself to keep walking away. This time he wasn't sure he'd survive, because he'd left his heart up in room 348.

The dim lamp in the sitting room of the hotel room barely cast any light on Angie's visit with Shauna and Dana. She sank farther into the corner of the couch. Talk about awkward.

She'd talked to Grayson and Juan's wives for the last two hours, and she'd never met them before in her life. Their husbands? Sure, about twice a year, she'd hang out with them when Drew and Gary had them visit Seattle, but they weren't her friends. They were Gary's.

These two women were strangers, and yet she found herself leaning on them for support because she had no one else at the moment to care about her messed up life.

“You have to be firm. Lay it all on the line.” Dana, her blonde hair hanging straight down her back, paced in front of the coffee table. “I know Gary. He's famous, but he's a boy. A boy in a big body. That means he's not going to explain himself, and he thinks you can read his mind.”

Shauna, dressed in a sexy yoga outfit, nodded, cuddling a sleeping Trevor to her chest. Her eyes were tired, but determined. “Grayson's just as stubborn. It took me years to convince him he loved me. Trust me, you want to grab Gary by the balls and tell him how it's going to be right now, or every day he'll get stronger and more determined about his screwed up theory that you don't belong together.”