Playing Hard (28 page)

Oliver hadn’t said anything about what had slipped out of her mouth when he’d made love to her after her ridiculous storm of tears. Right now she was grateful that he hadn’t. In fact, she was hoping he hadn’t heard it at all.

She hadn’t meant to say it. Not yet. Not so soon. No one said
I love you
after two weeks. Yet it had spilled out. She loved him. She wasn’t sure what that meant. She knew she cared about him. Wanted to be with him. Lit up when she saw him. But it was too soon for love, wasn’t it?

So. Easier to pretend she hadn’t said it. Wait and see what happened.

Sunday night they’d moved to her apartment so that she could get clothes for work on Monday. Oliver had stayed the night; nestled against him, his arm curving around her like a shield, she’d slept well. The day had eased the immediate sting of her fight with Finn but hadn’t offered any sensible solutions as to how to fix things between them.

Finn was obviously struggling. She wanted to help. But maybe, as much as she hated to think about it, Maggie was right. Maybe the only one who could help Finn was Finn.

Right now, maybe she should just focus on helping herself.

She’d already checked her email on the way to work. Hong Kong was twelve hours ahead of New York. If there had been a project announcement, it should have already happened while she was sleeping. But no. Nothing in her email.

There was still nothing when she fired up her computer in her office. All right. Tomorrow then. The knot in her stomach that had ridden all the way from her apartment to Wall Street loosened a little. No point freaking out until she knew there was something to freak out about.

She took care of her emails and then turned to the latest project status report on the model. When she got to the end, she blinked. Then checked again. But no, all the issues on the status report were marked cleared. Which meant that they could start loading the sucker with test data and see what it spat out.

The urge to pump her fist in the air in victory surged through her but she restricted herself to a more discreet happy dance in her chair.

Sure, the testing would invariably throw up more problems to be fixed, but having the build of the actual model stable was a major milestone. Plus they were a week ahead of schedule.

Just the sort of thing Daniel loved to hear.

Especially if he was in the process of considering whether or not to recommend her for a transfer.

The knot in her stomach returned. A transfer.

Leaving New York would mean leaving Oliver behind. Maybe not for good, but for at least six months. More if she chose to finally use all that leave she’d been saving and travel at the end of her time in Hong Kong.

Nine months maybe. Nearly a year. She couldn’t expect him to wait a year. Not when they were barely beginning.

She sucked in a breath against the pain that curled through her at the thought of losing Oliver. Tried to tell herself that she was borrowing trouble again. She didn’t even know if she was going to be offered a transfer. And what then? What if she didn’t get an offer? She’d always promised herself that she’d work in New York for six years. Time enough to sort out her finances and make sure her mom was okay.

Six years had been her goal, then she’d been determined to make a move. Apply for jobs overseas. Six years at a Wall Street bank, if she did well, would look good on a résumé. Of course it was a pretty cutthroat industry and there was always competition, but she had the credentials. She could find herself a job in London or Hong Kong or even Australia if she wanted to now that she’d put her time in.

See the world.

Have her dream.

Do something purely selfish.

Purely what she wanted.

And yet … was it the only thing she wanted now?

She didn’t know.

So, she could sit here and drive herself crazy or she could get back to work. Dot the
i
’s and cross the
t
’s on her project update so she could take it to Daniel ASAP.

Do her job.

But in the end, Daniel beat her to the punch. He called asking her to come see him just after lunch.

The request made her pulse race. Stupid. He could want anything. So she had to be prepared. Deep breaths while she gathered the project report and her notebook so she could answer questions on the other projects she was working on calmed her slightly; she didn’t feel quite so panicked when she walked down the hallway to Daniel’s office.

It was about five times the size of hers, the windows looking out toward the Hudson and offering a glittering view of the city in the sunshine. Manhattan laid out like this always took her breath away. So much in one small space. So many lives. So many people. So many hopes and dreams.

She’d miss it when she left. Maybe she’d come back. She’d always thought she’d go home to Chicago eventually, but maybe not. Her mom was taken care of. She didn’t have to go home, as much as she’d like to be close to Em and the Castros again

Always muscling in on my family.

Finn’s voice rang in her head and she shook her head.

No. She hadn’t muscled in. They’d taken her in. Offered help. They’d looked after her. Wanted her. Loved her like she loved them.

She told the Finn in her head to fuck off and sat when Daniel directed her to the small-glass–topped table that sat in one corner of his office.

Maybe it was just a project catch-up then. Whenever Daniel wanted to talk to her about performance reviews, he generally sat behind his desk. The power position.

But for other things, he used the table. She imagined he thought it was being casual. But nothing about Daniel Carling was really casual. He was cool and business-like all the way through. Or else he did a damned good impression of being cool. Not her cup of tea at all. Nope, she liked guys with passion. Warmth.

“Did you have a pleasant weekend?” Daniel asked.

She nodded. “Yes, thank you. And you?”

“Hamptons,” he said.

She nodded. He wouldn’t tell her more. That short exchange was pretty much the Daniel Carling version of cozy small talk. At least when it came to her. She wondered what he actually did in the Hamptons each weekend. It was hard to imagine him lying on a beach.

But she wasn’t here to speculate about Daniel. She’d leave that to Em. She was here to get the job.

“You’re probably wondering what I wanted to talk to you about?”

She nodded again, mouth feeling drier than dirt.

“Tomorrow the Hong Kong office will be announcing their acquisition of Li Huang Star.”

“Really?” She tried to sound surprised. “That’s a good fit for us.” Li Huang Star was another small investment bank. One based in Hong Kong with roots there, and on mainland China. Effectively a gateway to build more business in China, which could be a tough nut to crack.

“Yes,” Daniel agreed. “But they’re also operating on some fairly archaic infrastructure and processes. So they are putting together a team to work on the integration of the business. Multidisciplinary. They want an economist familiar with the Pullman systems. So I thought of you.”

And there it was. The sentence she’d been waiting to hear her boss say for years. An overseas transfer.

So why wasn’t her first emotion a squeal of joy? “Thank you,” she managed, trying to process what was happening. “When you say you thought of me does that mean you’re throwing my name in the ring or that I have the job?”

“The team will be vetted but I’m fairly sure Henry will sign off on my recommendation in your case. I’ve always been impressed by your work, Amelia. I know Charlie Bucknell felt the same. So the job is almost certainly yours. If you want it.” He cocked his head at her. “I’ll confess you seem less … excited than I thought you may have been. Do you want it? Or have your plans changed?”

There was a lot unspoken in that sentence. Daniel knew about Oliver. Did he think she was the kind of woman who made choices based solely around what the men in her life wanted? She’d never done it before. Partly because there hadn’t been that many important men in her life. Eddie Castro, she supposed. And Finn. But not a lover who had meant enough for her to change course. Yet here she was hesitating. She could understand why women made that kind of choice. A good relationship was worth some sacrifice. But …

“I’m just a little surprised,” she said. “I wasn’t expecting something to come up so soon. Do you need an answer right now?”

He waved a hand. “No. Not this minute. But I will need one by the end of the week. They want the project team on the ground in Hong Kong in early November. That’s not a lot of time to get things arranged.”

End of the week. Four short days to choose what life she wanted. It didn’t seem long enough. But it was going to have to be.

Chapter Sixteen

On Tuesday, Amelia got to work early again. She tried to slide out of Oliver’s bed without waking him but he caught her as she started to move, pulled her back against him. She’d resisted his best attempts at seducing her into morning sex and made her escape, guilt tightening her stomach as she let herself out of the apartment.

She hadn’t told him about the job offer. She would tell him. She had to tell him eventually.

Just not yet.

She needed to know what she wanted before she told him.

Right now she still hadn’t untangled it all in her head.

She wanted a few quiet hours at work to clear her mind. Of course, she’d forgotten about the project announcement. Which meant the morning turned into an impromptu celebration at Pullman, complete with champagne, cake, and lots of speculation about opportunities that the acquisition might bring. None of her fellow economists seemed all that interested in going to Hong Kong for any extended period of time. But they could be playing it cool.

If any of them had been approached like she had, they were keeping it quiet. So she did, too.

By the time she made it back to her office at lunchtime, she was wondering how she was going to get the day’s work done in half a day. The thought gave her a headache and made the cake she’d eaten sit uneasily in her stomach.

Might as well start at the beginning. Make a to-do list. Prioritize. Break it down. All those things that were supposed to make tackling massive piles of work less daunting.

But the first message in her email was one of the firm’s automated “you have voice mail” messages. The number attached was Em’s cell.

Hmmm. Em rarely called her work landline. Usually went straight for the cell. The cell that was currently sitting in Amelia’s purse, because she hadn’t bothered to grab it when the invitation to this morning’s celebrations had arrived. She hadn’t expected to be gone for several hours. When she pulled the phone free of all the miscellaneous crap in her bag, the home screen told her she had three missed calls. All from Em.

Crap.

That couldn’t be anything good.

She swung her office door shut and dialed, not bothering to listen to the voice mail. Thankfully, Em picked up straight away.

“Where have you been?” Em demanded.

“Work function.”

“On a Tuesday morning?”

“End-of-project celebration,” Amelia said, not ready to tell Em about the acquisition. Hopefully she was still too caught up in her case to be paying any attention to the financial pages. “What’s up?”

“Have you seen Finn?”

“Not since Saturday night.” She hadn’t told Em what had happened at the Saints party.

“Saturday? At the Saints party?”

“Yes,” Amelia said. “But not since. Is something wrong?”

“I called him this morning. He sounded drunk.”

Okay. So he was okay. Alive, at least. She’d half expected Em to be calling to say he’d gotten into trouble somehow. “Sweetie, he’s pretty upset about the loss. I’m sure the guys all get together and party for a few days. Blow off some steam.”

“It’s been a week. I’m worried about him. Can you go see him?”

Amelia sighed. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?” Em sounded confused.

She was going to have to tell Em eventually. So now was as good a time as any. “We kind of had a fight.”

“When? About what?”

“Saturday night. At the party,” Amelia said. Damn. She hadn’t wanted to tell Em any of this. Well, other than the Oliver part. She’d been trying to figure out how to tell Em the Oliver part. She’d half expected that Finn had done so already. But apparently not. Which explained the lack of Em calling her, demanding an update on her love life.

“As for why he was mad, well, I’d say seventy percent of it was him being half drunk and pissed off at the world.”

“And the other thirty?”

“He objected to my choice of company.” Amelia said. When Em didn’t immediately reply, she added. “I was there with Oliver Shields, not because Finn invited me. We’re kind of, um, dating.”

“You’re dating Oliver Shields?” Em shrieked.

Amelia couldn’t tell if it was excitement or irritation because it was mostly just loud. “Yes.”

“Finn hates that guy.”

“Yes. I’m aware. But I don’t. Like I’ve already told Finn several times, this has nothing to do with him.”

“Which is reasonable,” Em said, and the knot in Amelia’s stomach eased a little. Apparently Em wasn’t taking Finn’s side on this particular issue. “So you finally broke the no-jocks rule, huh? You must really like this guy.”

Amelia sighed. Em, unlike her brother, was probably too tactful to bring Amelia’s dad into the conversation. Amelia had never even told her that she worried about her taste for athletes being some sort of weird looking-for-a-guy-just-like-Daddy thing. But she had told her she’d decided guys like that weren’t a good idea. Which was true. “Yes. I do. Oliver is … different.”

“Different, how?”

“He’s … Oliver.”

“Dude, you are in trouble,” Em said, sounding half amused, half worried.

“I know. It’s stupid. But I really like him.”

“Doesn’t stop this being kind of a messy situation.”

“Why, because Finn wants Oliver’s spot on first base? Well, tough. He’s going to have to earn it.”

“That’s a little harsh.”

“After what he said to me on Saturday, I’m not inclined to cut Finn much slack at the moment. Your brother can be a prick sometimes.” She held her breath, waited for Em to leap to Finn’s defense.