Playing Pretend (18 page)

“Fine by me.” Macy’s smile waned. “I’m sorry about what she said. Are you really going to let her go to the press?”

“I have a feeling she’s going to do it either way,” I sighed. “So it doesn’t really matter what I decide to do.”

Macy pursed her lips, her gaze a little too perceptive. “Talk to Caleb, before you decide to do anything. Act or not, you’re in this together, and he’d want to know that Jennifer is up to something. I fear he’s the only one who can shut the bitch up.”

“Do you plan on talking like that when the kid gets here?” mused Drew. He stopped in front of Macy, and rested his hands on her belly. I looked away, the moment a little too intimate for me to bear witness to.

“Sorry, Honey,” replied Macy. “I can’t help it if that woman gets my curse-filled vocabulary flowing.”

I turned back to them, and cleared my throat. “I’d better get going. Caleb will be wondering where I am.”

Macy’s eyes widened. “You didn’t tell him?”

I shook my head, and she tittered. “I knew there was a reason I liked you two together. You’re not scared to stand up to the brute.”

“Hardly. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Macy nodded, and Drew gave me a tired smile. “Thanks for everything, Kadence. I now know why my wife can never stop singing your praises.”

“It was nothing, really.”

I said goodnight, and waited until Drew and Macy had driven away before I hailed a cab for myself. I checked my phone for the first time since we’d arrived at the hospital, and cringed when I saw Caleb had called a bunch of times.

Great.

Dealing with an angry Caleb was not on my agenda for the rest of the evening.

I took a cab back to his penthouse, and leaned my head against the headrest while the warm summer breeze blew in through the open window. It lulled my vehement thoughts about Jennifer and her threats, and gave me enough time to become resolute about my decision. Caleb and I were doomed from the start, and I was ignorant for believing otherwise. We were foolish if we continued this charade, and me more so for thinking that Caleb’s association with me on a romantic level would possibly be a good thing for his image.

I paid the cab driver once he stopped outside the Puck building, and greeted the night doorman when he opened the door for me. I stepped into the private elevator, and slipped my shoes off just before the doors opened. It was dark, the only light coming from inside the atrium. I looked around, and let out a huge breath when I didn’t see anyone. My relief was short lived though, as soon as I walked past the kitchen, and through the living room, I felt him.

I twisted slightly, my eyes seeking in the dark but not finding anything. Not even his silhouette.

Then his breath hit my bare shoulders, and I startled.

“Where have you been?” he asked. His voice was grim. Hard. Angry.

My exhalation was one of tiredness and defeat. I was in no condition for a verbal smack down, not tonight anyway.

“I was at the hospital with Macy,” I replied, rubbing at my forehead. A dull ache had started to form between my eyes, and all I wanted was to crawl into bed, and pretend the evening had turned out differently. The feel of Caleb’s calloused fingers on my arm dragged me back into the present, and back into darkness of the living room. He spun me around, and I didn’t even need light to see the agitation written all over his face.

“Is she okay?” he asked. His brusque tone niggled at the latent indignation I was starting to feel, not towards Caleb but towards Jennifer, and her stupid, not-so-empty threats.

“She’s fine.” With a hard pull, I took my arm back, and tried to walk away, but if there was one thing no one ever did, it was walk away from Caleb. He stopped me in my tracks by wrapping his fingers around my wrist, and rather than fight him, I allowed my arm to go lax in his grasp.

“That’s it? I’ve been worried sick, and all you’re giving me is
she’s fine
?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call, okay? I was a little busy thinking Macy was in labor. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”

The stubborn edge to my voice rung loudly in my ears.

“How could you think your safety isn’t a big deal?” Caleb’s incredulity came through in his tone, even if I couldn’t see the expression on his face. “I nearly lost my fucking mind at the show when I couldn’t find you, and when you didn’t answer my calls I started thinking the worst.”

“We’re not in public, so you can stop pretending.”

I tried to turn around, but Caleb sidestepped and took me with him. I drew in a harsh breath when my back hit the wall.

“I’m not pretending,” he replied between gritted teeth. His eyes caught the moonlight, his features finally illuminated by the light. His expression was heated, a mixture of vexation and something I must have been imagining.

Hunger.

Lust.

Desire.

I looked away. “Caleb…” I braced myself for what had to be done. There was no other way. “We can’t do this.”

He was silent, and then, “Look at me.”

I shook my head,
no.

“Kadence.”

His voice softened, making me wince. My head lifted, ignoring the inner protest, and when our eyes met, his were seeking.

He rested his hands on each side of my head. “I’m going to give you one chance to tell me happened.”

“What makes you think anything happened? What if I’ve come to my senses and realized that this will never work between us?”

“Because,” he exhaled, leaning close. “I know you. You’re upset, and you weren’t before.”

I swallowed my apprehension, and chose to be honest with him, rip it off like a Band-Aid and all that.

“Jennifer.” I sighed. “She knows about us, about our ‘arrangement’.”

Caleb’s brows lowered. “How would she have found out?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “But she threatened to tell the press about me, and my family if I didn’t end it with you and quit my job at Callahan Industries. She knows about my father, and your mother, and she’s planning on using it.”

“You should have come to me, Kadence. Why did you wait?”

“I found Jennifer arguing about all of it with Macy, and shortly after I confronted her, Macy had a labor pain, and I called an ambulance. I didn’t have a chance to find you before we left, or call you once we got to the hospital.” It was a little white lie, but I had no intention of telling Caleb that Macy had a severe case of gas. Talk about awkward, and embarrassing.

Caleb’s gaze flicked across my face, and in my peripheral I could see his chorded forearms tense. “What aren’t you telling me?” he asked, his voice quiet, and low. “Are her threats the reason you said we can’t do this?”

Caleb took my ensuing silence as my admission, but rather than say something, he pushed away from the wall with an exasperated growl.

“I think it will be best if we call this whole thing off,” I said to his back. “If the press gets wind of our past it will only bring you bad publicity, and defeat the entire objective of this fake relationship in the first place.”

“What makes you so sure?” Caleb kept his back to me, but I couldn’t muster up enough energy to push away from the wall and go to him.

“Because Jennifer will make sure they know about our parents, and that I’m nothing more than a gold-digging whore sleeping with the C.E.O to get ahead.”

It was the oldest cliché in the book, and the most common story told by women in Jennifer’s position, but that in no way detracted from the outfall that would come from it, lie or not. I didn’t trust Jennifer as far as I could throw her, which is why I wasn’t going to disregard her threat as a meager attempt to get back at Caleb.

With a slow pivot, Caleb faced me, but made no move to close the gap between us, a gap I felt getting bigger and bigger by the second.

“And rather than talk to me about it, you decided for us both that it would be better for us to stop? Do you not trust me to protect you in a situation such this is?”

“It’s not about you protecting me, Caleb. It’s about knowing when we’re in over our heads, and right now, I think we are.”

“You’re wrong.”

Too bad I wasn’t as unwavering in my faith as what Caleb was.

“That might be true, but I’m not willing to risk finding out,” I replied, pushing myself off the wall. “Why won’t you just accept that this won’t work? That having a relationship with me, real or not, will do more harm than good?”

“Why are you giving up so easily?” Caleb threw back. “Did you think I wasn’t aware of something like this happening?”

“God,” I threw my hands up, “Why won’t you let this go? Why is it so important that I help you?”

Caleb opened his mouth to respond, but snapped it shut just as fast. We stared at each other, and when neither of spoke further, I resigned myself to the fact that calling it quits was for the best.

“I’m going to bed,” I said, making my way down the hallway. Caleb didn’t respond, and part of me was disappointed. For some fatuous reason I wanted him to have an answer, to have a valid reason for asking
me
of all people to be play this part in his life. Why it mattered so much to me I didn’t know, but it did, and there was little I could do to change it.

I’D JUST STEPPED
into the guest room when I heard Caleb’s heavy footfalls on the floor. For a brief, disheartening moment I thought he was going to his own room, but when I looked over my shoulder he was right behind me. I didn’t care to ask him why, and I wasn’t sure I would care for his answer either, so I dropped my shoes next to my dresser, not even bothering to switch on the light, and started unzipping my dress. I heard the door close, and tried to ignore the wild flutter of nerves, not only deep in my belly, but between my legs too. I’d imagined a scenario just like this one, time and time again and now that it was playing out in some way, I couldn’t separate what I wanted from what I knew
shouldn’t
happen.

My hand was shaking, poised to take hold of the zip between my shoulder blades, when Caleb’s hand wrapped around mine. My skin prickled, my breath faltered.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I whispered. It was so soft it could have been mistaken for the breeze coming through the open terrace doors. Caleb must have opened them earlier, and I was grateful right then for his foresight. It was hot, and with him standing so close I needed the fresh air.

“Tell me to leave, and I will.” His voice rumbled against my neck, his hand paused. I remained quiet. Telling him to go would have been a grave denial, and yes, weak-willed and perhaps even a little impetuous, but how long was a woman supposed to deny herself before she started losing her mind?

There was also the reminder that I had set rules when I agreed to this. They weren’t so much to keep Caleb away from me – that would have been presumptuous – but rather to stop myself from doing something I would regret.

Problem was I wasn’t sure what I would regret more: taking the chance or
not
taking it.

Caleb lowered the zip, and before my dress could fall to the ground, I clutched it to my chest, and braved turning around.

In the brightness of the full moon outside, it became apparent that Caleb still had his shirt on, unbuttoned at the top, and his slacks, but no shoes or socks. His chest moved, a little faster than normal, and his eyes blazed a brilliant blue.

He lifted his hand, and traced his finger from my temple, behind my ear, over my pulse, and up to my mouth.

“So beautiful,” he murmured. “I used to have fantasies about this mouth.”

I swallowed. “You promised we wouldn’t do this.”

Caleb stilled, his eyes never leaving mine, and then he stepped into me, so close I could feel the rhythm of his chest against my clasped hands.

“I lied.”

My retort was cut off when his mouth sealed over mine. I gasped, and Caleb took that as an invitation, his tongue seeking mine. Caleb’s hands slid up my arms, around my neck, his thumbs tilting my chin up so that he could deepen the kiss.

This couldn’t happen.

It wasn’t supposed to.

But I was afraid that I’d wanted him too badly, for too long, to stop it with conviction.

I fought it, dammit I swear I did, but then my body sank into Caleb’s and I returned his kiss with the fervor of a woman still possessed by the memory of her first kiss. My lips moved with remembrance, I didn’t have to tell them I was kissing Caleb. They knew. My body knew.

He broke away, and I leaned in, following his movement.

“Drop your dress.” He exhaled, his nostril flared.

He caught my hesitation, and then gently said, “Trust me.”

I did.

And I think that’s what scared me more than anything because trusting him meant giving him the power to hurt me.

Not if it only happens once
, I thought. I wanted to shake my head at my own naiveté, but instead the words, “I do,” fell from my lips.

Stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl.

Caleb took my hands in his, and kept his eyes on me when my dress fell to the floor. His gaze lowered, traveling over my strapless bra, down my torso, pausing at the nakedness between my legs, and then back up. He licked his bottom lip, and ever so slowly brought his hands behind my back to unclasp my bra. I wasn’t by any means busty, and my nipples looked rosier against my creamy skin, but some part of me, albeit a very large part, still wanted Caleb to like what he saw. I wanted him to react to my body the way I reacted to his, and I knew if he didn’t, it would be a significant blow to my ego.