Playing Pretend (20 page)

“Caleb?”

My stomach sank when he didn’t respond.

I waited for him to say something, but he just carried on packing Braelynn’s things. Then I noticed a black overnight bag on the floor next to the carrier Braelynn was in.

“Where are you going?” I asked, looking between Caleb, and Braelynn. Little Miss was fast asleep, and blissfully unaware of the turmoil I was feeling because of her daddy, and the same turmoil he was obviously feeling because of me. What I couldn’t understand was what had happened between the time we’d eventually gone to bed, and now.

“I’m taking Braelynn to the Hamptons for a few days to see my father.” Caleb kept his attention on Braelynn’s bottles, which were already tucked into the bag. It was clear he was just looking for an excuse to avoid looking at me, and it was pitiful that fiddling with baby bottles was the best he could come up with.

“Is this about last night?”

When Caleb stilled, I clenched my fists. “It is isn’t it?”

Nothing.

Indignation fused its way into my bloodstream, making my pulse skitter. His jaw ticked, and when he could finally work past his cowardice to look at me, the mien in his eyes was like a wrecking ball to my self-esteem. It was contrition, guilt, and oh God,
pity
.

“Alfie will be here all weekend,” Caleb ignored my question. “Make sure he goes with you if you go out. I’ve left money in your bedside drawer if you need anything, or if there’s an emergency.” Caleb cleared his throat and my eyes burned.

I will not cry. The fucker doesn’t deserve to see me cry.

“The issue with Jennifer has been resolved too, and if she so much as breathes your name to the press she will be fired. You won’t have to worry about her again.”

“You’re just going to leave without talking to me?”

The crack in my voice gave Caleb pause, but then he picked up a sleeping Braelynn and walked into the atrium where he passed his overnight bag to Terminator One.

Caleb sighed, and could barely look me in the eye when he spoke to me over my shoulder. “Last night was a mistake. It should never have happened.”

My mouth opened, but my throat had dried to the point where even swallowing was difficult. I didn’t know what to say, so I stood there, watching stupidly as Caleb stepped into the elevator and disappeared behind the silver doors. I saw my reflection, and even with the distortion caused by the metal I could still see how piteous I looked, dressed in Caleb’s white dress shirt from the night before with my messy hair and nothing more.

I shook my head, wondering how I could have been so credulous as to expect any other kind of reaction from Caleb, or how I could have been so trusting. He must’ve thought me an easy target, and in all likelihood said exactly what I wanted to hear just to get me to spread my legs. I should have been relieved to hear about Jennifer, but Caleb’s regretful disposition and cool reception was at the forefront of my mind, and if given the choice, I would rather have all my dirty laundry gracing every newspaper in the country than be on such precarious terms with Caleb. I was the one who was supposed to be weird after what we both decided would be a one-night-stand, but instead he was the one running. And by the looks of it he couldn’t get away fast enough.

With a tremulous breath, I pivoted on my bare heels and walked through the soundless penthouse to the guest bedroom. My evening gown was still on the floor, the bed still made, and suddenly I wanted to be anywhere but there. Angry hands ripped Caleb’s shirt from my body, and I stormed into the bathroom, turning the shower on as hot as my skin could tolerate. If he was running, then I was going to wash him from every patch of skin, until there was no trace of him, or his smell left. Of course I could still feel his presence between my legs, but I was going to have to ignore that as best I could. I was sure that you didn’t just
forget
sex with Caleb Callahan, but I was going to be the first woman in history to try.

And hopefully succeed.

When my skin was red, and almost raw, I turned the water off, and grabbed a towel. I’d just walked back into the bedroom when my phone rang, and when I saw “Mom” flashing across the screen I thought twice about answering. She was probably calling because news had broken about my ‘relationship’ with Caleb, and wanted to know why I hadn’t told her myself. I wasn’t sure I could deal with her just yet, but then again, I needed to talk to
someone
about what had happened.

I flopped onto the bed, resigned, and swiped the screen to answer.

“Hi Mom.”

“Kadence.”

Her worried tone had me feeling guilty, and combined with Caleb’s rejection it was no surprise that I was unable to discern every emotion that was colliding inside my head.

“How are you?” I asked lamely, knowing that my deflection would be pointless.

Her sigh travelled through the phone, and I could picture her pinching the bridge of her nose in that way she had. The way that said she was disappointed in me, and in this particular case I couldn’t blame her. As much as I hated disappointing her though, I needed her then too, and that always won out.

“Sweetheart.”

Crap.

She was supposed to be mad, but instead she sounded worried. That only added to my guilt.

“I messed up.” My lip quivered, and my eyes burned.

“Well,” she replied, “I have nothing but time, so start at the beginning.”

For a moment I contemplated leaving last night out, but if I had any hope of getting my Mother’s honest opinion, I had to be completely honest with her in return. She was my best friend, and I knew she wouldn’t judge me. The only part that hedged me was having to tell my Mother that I spent three days living in my car, and then ended up living with Caleb. I didn’t want it to upset her, and however I chose to word it, it was going to.

My only option was to tell her everything, so that’s exactly what I did.

My Mother sniffled when I was finally done. “Oh Kadence.”

There was no condescension, no judgment.

“I’m sorry, Mom.” I wiped my face, and sat up. “I should have told you everything sooner, but I didn’t want to worry you.”

The sun outside was high in the sky, so I surmised it was already past lunchtime. I put my phone on speaker, placed it on the dresser, and rummaged through the closet for some clean clothes while my Mother prattled on.

“You’re my child,” she cried. “I’m supposed to take care of you. You should have told me you needed help, Kadence.”

She hiccupped, and sniffled some more. “I would have helped you with more money if you needed it. I have savings.”

“I didn’t want you to worry about me,” I told her. I pulled a tank top over my head, and slid a pair of shorts on. “Those savings are all you have, Mom. I couldn’t ask you for more.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Asking me for help should have been your first choice, not moving in with Caleb Callahan of all people.”

I stepped outside onto the terrace, and sat down on a lounger. The commotion coming from the streets below matched the noise inside of me.

“I didn’t ask him for help. He found me living in my car, and took me in.”

“You should have come to me,” my Mother argued. “If you had, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself into such a mess.”

Of course she was right.

But I wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Not helping,” I said. “You’re supposed to be on
my
side.”

“Oh honey, I am. I’m
always
on your side. I only want what’s best for you, and from what you’ve told me, your decisions in the past two months have been based on feelings you had for a man when you were just a child.”

Oh.

Snap.

“But how did you…”

“A mother always knows, sweetheart. I saw the way you looked at that man, the way you gravitated towards him whenever he happened to be at the same event. I was hoping it would pass, and then everything with your father and his mother…”

“I know.”
Exhale
.

My Mother and I stayed quiet for a few minutes, and then I gathered enough courage to do what I should have done two months earlier.

“I need your help, Mom. Tell me what to do.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, sweetheart. You have to get yourself out of this.”

I shut my eyes, and lifted my face up to the sky long enough to feel the warm, sunny rays warm my eyelids.

“I don’t know how.”

“You do,” said my Mother. “But you have to decide if you’re willing to do what it is
necessary
versus what you think you
want
.”

I chewed on that for a moment, and came to the undeniable realization that my Mother knew me a little better than she’d ever let on. She’d also given me something to think about.

“I wish it was that easy,” I replied honestly.

“Caring about someone never is, but sometimes you have to care about yourself more.”

Wasn’t
that
the truth.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“I wish you’d spoken to me sooner. Are you going to be okay?”

I wasn’t entirely sure, but with Caleb away I had time to get myself there and come up with some kind of plan, however temporary.

“I will be,” I promised. “You don’t have to worry.”

My Mother snorted. “I always worry about you, Kadence. I love you. It’s my job to worry.”

“I love you too.”

We spoke for a few minutes longer, and when I said goodbye, I felt a little more like myself, and less like a ten-dollar hooker who screwed her boss. Which reminded me of the money Caleb had left in my bedside drawer. Curiosity, that disgusting little bastard, made me wonder how much he thought our night together was worth. I wanted to pull out all those bills and count it, but eventually decided against it. Call it self-preservation, but I had no desire to really know what Caleb thought I was worth.

I SPENT THE REMAINDER of my day roaming the streets of the city, and treated myself to lunch in Bryant Park. I took a slow walk up 5
th
Avenue, through Rockefeller Center, past Radio City Music Hall and then circled back before catching a cab back to Caleb’s penthouse. It was well after 8p.m. and after tiring myself out, I was ready for a hot bath, a hot new romance novel and bed. My plans, however, were derailed the moment I stepped out of the elevator where I was greeted by the sight of a frantic-looking Aaliyah. Dressed in distressed jeans, stiletto heels and a black cap-sleeved blouse, she looked as though she’d come from a date.

Her heels clicked as she paced the floor, talking into her phone, and the moment she caught sight of me, her expression broke into one of pure relief.

“It’s okay,” she said into the phone. “She just walked in.”

I frowned, wondering who she was talking to.

“Okay,” she sighed, rolling her brown eyes. “Calm down, Caleb.”

Never mind.

I no longer cared about who she was talking to.

He
could go deep throat a cactus.

Bastard.

With a fractious shake of my head, I walked past her, and went in the direction of the guest bedroom.

“Uhhh…” she muttered from behind me. “Yes, she looks fine. Not a bruise or a scratch that I can see.”

Caleb’s concern only fueled my ire. He had no right to show concern after how he’d treated me earlier that morning.

I flicked the lights on, slipped my shoes off, and went into the bathroom. I’d just unbuttoned my shorts, when Aaliyah walked in.

“Yes, Caleb. I’m looking at her right now.”

Pause
.

“No, I’m not going to tell you what she’s doing.”

I gave the traitor a glare, and sat down on the toilet. I needed to pee, and if she wanted to watch then I wasn’t going to stop her.

“Because she’s peeing, that’s why.”

Oh great, so much for not telling him what I was doing, genius.

“Get out,” I mouthed, and when Aaliyah ignored my request, I reached for a roll of toilet paper and threw it at her head. With the skill level only becoming of a ninja, she dodged the roll, and ducked out of the bathroom. I heard her ask, “What did you do to make her so angry?” and then tuned the rest out until I was done with my business. When I returned to the bedroom, Aaliyah had made herself comfortable on the bed, and thankfully her phone call with Caleb had ended.

“What are you doing here?” I didn’t mean to be rude, but I wanted Aaliyah to know how disgruntled I was.

She didn’t even flinch. “Caleb called me, and said he couldn’t reach you all day. Poor man was losing his shit, and sent
me
to make sure you weren’t abducted by a psycho and skinned alive.”

If she was trying to be funny, it wasn’t working. Between the bed-breaking sex the night before, and Caleb’s dickish disposition, my funny bone had snapped itself in half and vacated my body.

“Well as you can see, I’m fine.” I folded my arms across my chest, cocked my hip and gave Aaliyah my best “you can leave now” stare. She wasn’t deterred in the slightest. Either that or she had to brush up on her social cues because clearly she couldn’t take a damn hint.

With a heavy exhalation, Aaliyah stood, and mirrored my stance. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what that rat bastard did.”

“He didn’t tell you?”

Aaliyah shook her head.

Of course he didn’t, the coward.

“The most I got out of him was that he was a prick, and he wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I snorted, more in disbelief than surprise. “Just a prick, huh. That’s quite ironic under the circumstances.”

Aaliyah scrutinized me, but only for a few seconds, and then realized what I was referring to.

“Oh dear God,” she exclaimed. “You slept with him.”

I stayed quiet. A denial would have been fruitless, not to mention that Aaliyah was likely to draw her own conclusions regardless of what I told her.

“I thought you were smarter than that.”

I bristled, and arched a brow. “This coming from a woman who’s had nothing but friends-with-benefits type arrangements and one night stands?”

Aaliyah opened her mouth, and then exhaled. “Touché,” she paused. “But I still expect the full lowdown.”